Same sex marriage - surname

MrWalsh · 27-05-2015 03:26PM #1

We often see threads here on whether or not a woman will take her husbands name upon marriage.

Will name taking occur with same sex marriage and who would take what name or will both take a new name?

Kev W · 27-05-2015 03:27PM

It will be optional, same as with opposite sex marriage.

lazygal · 27-05-2015 03:36PM

Names in Ireland are based on common usage, so you can start calling yourself whatever you want any time you want. There is no legal requirement to change your name just because you marry, any more than there is if you have a civil partnership or live together or have children together. I never changed my name when I got married, neither did my mother or my mother in law.

MrWalsh · 27-05-2015 03:44PM

Kev W wrote: »

It will be optional, same as with opposite sex marriage.

Well it is optional but I have never heard of a husband changing their name, the tradition is that the wife does (if she wants to).

I suppose Im wondering if a new tradition will begin now?

Also I work in software and many forms have an option for maiden name if the gender is female so it will be interesting to see all the changes required to cater for all.

i wonder will husbands changing their name in opposite sex marriages get more popular?

lazygal · 27-05-2015 03:45PM

MrWalsh wrote: »

Well it is optional but I have never heard of a husband changing their name, the tradition is that the wife does (if she wants to).

I suppose Im wondering if a new tradition will begin now?

I don't know. Maybe ask in the LGBT forums whether people there plan to change their names?

Mrs OBumble · 27-05-2015 04:01PM

MrWalsh wrote: »

Well it is optional but I have never heard of a husband changing their name, the tradition is that the wife does (if she wants to).

You need to hang out with a broader range of people.

Women refusing to surrender their identify at marriage has been commonplace for a long time. Just looking around my office now, there are four married women. I'm 100% certain that two of them are using their original surname, in the workplace at least.

I forsee more double-barrelling. Am having some interesting discussions with himself about wheether we will be

Mr and Mrs OBumble-Handyman or
Mr and Mrs Handyman-OBumble

fannymagee · 27-05-2015 04:01PM

I think we'll see a lot more double barrel surnames :-)

MrWalsh · 27-05-2015 04:04PM

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

You need to hang out with a broader range of people.

Women refusing to surrender their identify at marriage has been commonplace for a long time. Just looking around my office now, there are four married women. I'm 100% certain that two of them are using their original surname, in the workplace at least.

I forsee more double-barrelling. Am having some interesting discussions with himself about wheether we will be

Mr and Mrs OBumble-Handyman or
Mr and Mrs Handyman-OBumble

I havent changed my own and know plenty who havent but I know more who have and I definitely know no men who have.

tayto lover · 27-05-2015 04:07PM

fannymagee wrote: »

I think we'll see a lot more double barrel surnames :-)

Hate double-barrelled names. Too toffey-nosed.

fannymagee · 27-05-2015 04:12PM

tayto lover wrote: »

Hate double-barrelled names. Too toffey-nosed.

Is Tayto Lover not double barrelled?! ;-)

tayto lover · 27-05-2015 04:13PM

fannymagee wrote: »

Is Tayto Lover not double barrelled?! ;-)

No, Lover is my surname

eviltwin · 27-05-2015 06:11PM

Any gay couple I know who is in a CP kept their own names, I don't remember any discussion about the name issues. Many it's just straight couples who make a big deal of it because of tradition. It's still expected a woman will change her name.

ABajaninCork · 27-05-2015 09:11PM

I know a fair few same-sex couples who have double-barrelled their names. Matter of personal choice really, I suppose...

Personally, I just use my married name here. I still have my maiden name at home, and family in the WI will double-barrel my name as a matter of course as that's the custom there. Hell - some people in Barbados will address me by my mother's maiden name!! I answer to all

fits · 27-05-2015 09:14PM

I know one man who changed his name when he married.

He was keen to have an irish surname.

tayto lover · 27-05-2015 09:15PM

ABajaninCork wrote: »

I know a fair few same-sex couples who have double-barrelled their names. Matter of personal choice really, I suppose...

Personally, I just use my married name here. I still have my maiden name at home, and family in the WI will double-barrel my name as a matter of course as that's the custom there. Hell - some people in Barbados will address me by my mother's maiden name!! I answer to all

Doesn't matter to me what name is put on a cheque.
If it's for me i'll get it cashed regardless.:D

Peregrinus · 28-05-2015 03:24AM

I know one couple who both changed their names on marriage, to a third surname which was new to both of them.

(In fairness, that had a bit to do with avoiding their creditors.)

Gatica · 28-05-2015 09:37AM

I'd imagine it would be considered "normal" for same-sex partners to either keep their names, either one change their name or both become double barrelled.

I think among couples getting married many women still very happily take their husband's name and change their title to Mrs, which I find really astonishing. One would never be able to infer marital status from a man's title, so why should one from a woman's? Anyway, that's more of an issue on gender equality....

tipparetops · 28-05-2015 09:39AM

as long as the children get the fathers name, see no issue.

MrWalsh · 28-05-2015 09:44AM

Gatica wrote: »

I think among couples getting married many women still very happily take their husband's name and change their title to Mrs, which I find really astonishing. One would never be able to infer marital status from a man's title, so why should one from a woman's? Anyway, that's more of an issue on gender equality....

Reminds me of the story of the woman who used her title of Dr on some electronic form and then was unable to check the gender of female because the validation prevented it!

Seeing as titles are mostly self assigned I often fill in Baroness on inconsequential forms.......

eviltwin · 28-05-2015 09:58AM

tipparetops wrote: »

as long as the children get the fathers name, see no issue.

Are you being serious?

Kev W · 28-05-2015 10:03AM

eviltwin wrote: »

Are you being serious?

Didn't take long for Mrs. Lovejoy to turn up.

eviltwin · 28-05-2015 10:06AM

Kev W wrote: »

Didn't take long for Mrs. Lovejoy to turn up.

Me? We're talking about same sex couples, there may be two dads or no dad. It didn't make sense but thanks for the smart dig though.

Riskymove · 28-05-2015 10:07AM

Gatica wrote: »

Anyway, that's more of an issue on gender equality....

as the women are free to choose I don't see what it has to do with gender equality

Miguel_Sanchez · 28-05-2015 10:08AM

I know some gay couples where one guy took the other's name when they married.

I imagine though, like in hetero marriages this is a dying trend.

I always felt it would be weird if my wife took my name.

Although given the unwieldness of our surnames double-barreling was never an option for our son so he has my surname.

Miguel_Sanchez · 28-05-2015 10:09AM

eviltwin wrote: »

there may be two dads or no dad

I think that was the joke.

tipparetops · 28-05-2015 10:10AM

eviltwin wrote: »

Are you being serious?

No.

Why should anyone judge someone else over whether they keep their name or change it.
Cest la vie.

jill_valentine · 28-05-2015 10:11AM

Depends. I'd consider taking a name or double barrelling if I was marrying into the McDragonslayer family or something, because that would be rad, but otherwise, I'd rather keep my own name out of handiness as much as anything.

keeponhurling · 28-05-2015 10:14AM

My wife didn't take my surname, no problem I thought - it's up to her.

Now somebody recently told her that it might be problem if she has a different surname to our children, for travelling and such things. More documentation might be needed to show the relationship.
Anyone heard of this before?

Peregrinus · 28-05-2015 10:22AM

keeponhurling wrote: »

My wife didn't take my surname, no problem I thought - it's up to her.

Now somebody recently told her that it might be problem if she has a different surname to our children, for travelling and such things. More documentation might be needed to show the relationship.
Anyone heard of this before?

Yup. My wife did not take my surname. When our daughter (who has my surname) was younger, my wife was advised by UK immigration officials that it would be prudent for her, if travelling with our daughter but without me, to bring not only our daughter's passport but also her birth cert, as documentary evidence that she was indeed the girl's mother. This is mainly motivated by concerns about child abduction, etc. The need for this abates once the child is old enough to say "yep, that's my mother".

jill_valentine · 28-05-2015 10:25AM

Riskymove wrote: »

as the women are free to choose I don't see what it has to do with gender equality

Different pressures I suppose. I remember a friend being completely distraught that she'd "have to" change her name.

Kev W · 28-05-2015 10:26AM

eviltwin wrote: »

Me? We're talking about same sex couples, there may be two dads or no dad. It didn't make sense but thanks for the smart dig though.

No, not you. I was referring to the post you were quoting.

Same sex marriage - surname

Comments