A Country funeral... what do I wear?

Spanish Eyes · 16-05-2015 03:27PM

spottybananas wrote: »

Yeah, I believe all of your post except that bit OP. I'm from a very rural area and some of my family live as you described, some without tv or appliances, could genuinely be 50+ years ago with them. None of them gave a shiny sh!t when I would visit from living in Dublin, Cork, Canada, wherever. Dublin is not as impressive as you think it is.

The country folk I met were very "interested" in my life in Dublin.

Maybe another word could be put on their "interest" in my life in the big smoke, but I am reluctant to say it. Begins with N and ends in Y.

Never got a gig out of them in reciprocation though. Cards close to chests re CAP and D Agr grants, etc. lol. Whereas I was asked about every facet of my life, pay, work, house, and so on. I didn't mind one bit. I enjoyed it actually as it was great conversation to pass the vigil hours.

I was a bit surprised that no info came from their side though! My OH said that is typical (he's a culchie, still has the accent after tons of years in Dublin). They will find out everything about you, but they'll tell ya nothing!

Very welcoming and friendly they were, I have to say. Despite their "interest" in me!

Just clarifying things.

Duckworth_Luas · 16-05-2015 03:42PM

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

Whereas I was asked about every facet of my life, pay, work, house, and so on.

No you weren't

Spanish Eyes · 16-05-2015 04:26PM

Duckworth_Luas wrote: »

No you weren't

Yes I was. Not directly, but along the lines of "what's the pay like in Dublin for -insert certain jobs -, What would ye get for your house these days if you sold it, and nice unthreatening questions like that. Quite normal really.

The answers I gave were quite vague in response though!

Now no one ventured into the Property Tax issue, that would have been rather revealing for both sides I'd say....

All very friendly. But probing at the same time!

Duckworth_Luas · 16-05-2015 04:30PM

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

Yes I was. Not directly, but along the lines of "what's the pay like in Dublin for -insert certain jobs -, What would ye get for your house these days if you sold it, and nice unthreatening questions like that. Quite normal really.

The answers I gave were quite vague in response though!

Now no one ventured into the Property Tax issue, that would have been rather revealing for both sides I'd say....

All very friendly. But probing at the same time!

So nobody asked you how much you get paid then?

Spanish Eyes · 16-05-2015 04:31PM

Duckworth_Luas wrote: »

So nobody asked you how much you get paid then?

In a roundabout way. Referring to my profession, not me personally.

The Backwards Man · 16-05-2015 04:51PM

Has the art of conversation really gone that far assways in the metropolis that any attempt to engage them is regarded as a personal probe?

Spanish Eyes · 16-05-2015 04:52PM

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Has the art of conversation really gone that far assways in the metropolis that any attempt to engage them is regarded as a personal probe?

Not at all, us Dubs are great conversationalists, and we are very witty too!

My OH confirmed for me though, that a lot of country people can probe but will not give back much about themselves!

The conversations I had with the visitors to the house were very enjoyable.

Galwayguy35 · 16-05-2015 06:30PM

The Backwards Man wrote: »

You're going to the wrong wakes.:P

No place for boozing either btw, thankfully that has been more or less eradicated in this part of the world.

Any wake I was at including the ones for my own folks had booze, nothing wrong with giving people a drink along with the tea and food.

punisher5112 · 16-05-2015 06:31PM

Dress up like Ronald mc donald

gormdubhgorm · 17-05-2015 01:14AM

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

Not at all, us Dubs are great conversationalists, and we are very witty too!

My OH confirmed for me though, that a lot of country people can probe but will not give back much about themselves!

The conversations I had with the visitors to the house were very enjoyable.

I assumed (having been rared by a pure culchie) that everyone knows that the info provided is normally one sided.

The conversations between culchies are like a battle of wills sometimes (especially on the phone and especially the older ones). It is the thinking of you know that I know that you know about xyz but won't say it.
Some of the cousins have vagueness down to an art form. You never hear decisiveness (it is almost viewed as offensive).

The most concrete answer to almost anything is I might or I might and I might'nt. Or I was half nearly thinking of asking xyz.

I just hope no one thought that you were "a bit of a dub"

sugarplum202 · 17-05-2015 04:37AM

spottybananas wrote: »

Yeah, I believe all of your post except that bit OP. I'm from a very rural area and some of my family live as you described, some without tv or appliances, could genuinely be 50+ years ago with them. None of them gave a shiny sh!t when I would visit from living in Dublin, Cork, Canada, wherever. Dublin is not as impressive as you think it is.

This x1000
There are places without running water whose inhabitants are less backwards than Dublin.
Oh no wait! Dublin doesn't have running water.

OldRio · 17-05-2015 09:40AM

eternal wrote: »

I wasn't being sarcastic at all. I genuinely thought the whole thing sounded a bit old fashioned. I feel like I'm in James Joyce territory.

Old fashioned?

No just the way things are done around this part of Ireland and nothing wrong with that.

Spanish Eyes · 17-05-2015 10:22AM

BTW, true to fashion at many funerals, there was a little "difference of opinion" in the parlour at one point. Tensions were high.

It was about ten pm. The family had been in there all day greeting visitors and family. They only took a toilet break and had a cup of tea now and then. So everyone was a bit tired.

Now bear in mind that I am an "outlaw" and I just popped in and out of the room now and then, but largely left it to the family to do the Wake.

So I was on my way back in for a few minutes when I heard raised voices. One of the younger members of the family was berating an older member for laughing and having a raised voice. The older person took umbrage at being told what to do by a younger member, and it could have escalated. Sometimes these things can. Anyway, another family member intervened and after a little while hands were shook, and away they went again saying a few prayers for the dead man and their sins!

I scarpered PDQ when this was happening I can tell you. But TBH even the next day at the funeral, the atmosphere between the old lad and the young lad was tense. Funerals huh, they bring out the best in people.

Must have been the contents of the will that started it all! Has to be a back story, as everyone else was grand about everything. I must find out in time.

Other than that, it was all very civilized, and not that much different to a Dublin funeral, apart from the hordes of people calling to the house, and no drink at all!

RonanP77 · 17-05-2015 10:30AM

Spanish Eyes wrote:

BTW, true to fashion at many funerals, there was a little "difference of opinion" in the parlour at one point. Tensions were high.

Were these rich culchies? I've lived in a good few houses now and none of them has ever had a parlour. None of my friends or family have a parlour in any of their houses either.

RonanP77 · 17-05-2015 10:36AM

Spanish Eyes wrote:

Must have been the contents of the will that started it all! Has to be a back story, as everyone else was grand about everything. I must find out in time.

Not necessarily, my mother was in a bad way a few years back, she was in having brain surgery and we didn't think she'd make it. A good few of us were gathered in a small waiting room and one of her brothers said something smart, I commented on it, he reacted badly and I told him I was going to put him through a window. It was all settled within a minute but tensions were high between us for a day or two over something very silly. We always got on before and since so there's no back story.

They wouldn't normally know the contents of the will at that stage anyway.

Spanish Eyes · 17-05-2015 10:47AM

RonanP77 wrote: »

Were these rich culchies? I've lived in a good few houses now and none of them has ever had a parlour. None of my friends or family have a parlour in any of their houses either.

It was a two storey farmhouse. In the family for generations. The door to the left off the hall led into the "good room" or as we Dubs call it "the parlour". On the opposite side of the hall was a big room that was kind of L shaped, sofa, chairs and a table under the window. Down the back was a huge country kitchen and table. It was lovely. A big range, and an electric cooker. So homely.

Out the back door off the kitchen was another entrance (everyone in the family seemed to use that, but the visitors to the wake came in the front door.) This area was chock a block with wellies, old coats, baskets of turf and logs, a dog or two and their "sleeping" area, for a farmhouse I'd say that place was invaluable.

There was a toilet off this room, obviously added on in recent years. So I didn't venture upstairs at all!

RonanP77 · 17-05-2015 11:02AM

Ahhhhh, the sitting room. We have the kitchen-dining room, the living room and then the bigger room that's rarely used, we call the sitting room.

17-05-2015 11:26AM

I remember when my granny died, we had the coffin in the sitting room. There was an old fashioned hatch that joined the kitchen and sitting room. The hallway from the front door was far too narrow for us to manoeuvre the coffin into, so we had to come through the back door, through the kitchen, and pushing her so gently through the hatch.

RonanP77 wrote: »

Ahhhhh, the sitting room. We have the kitchen-dining room, the living room and then the bigger room that's rarely used, we call the sitting room.

That's the case with most relatively old houses.

The Backwards Man · 17-05-2015 11:45AM

It's getting bit like David Attenborough in the Rwandan mountains is this. You'd think the OP was describing a trip to the zoo. Not impressed, not impressed at all.

Gwynplaine · 17-05-2015 12:18PM

The Backwards Man wrote: »

It's getting bit like David Attenborough in the Rwandan mountains is this. You'd think the OP was describing a trip to the zoo. Not impressed, not impressed at all.

I know, you'd think we were all going around with our trousers held up with baling twine, no teeth, living on cabbage.

The Backwards Man · 17-05-2015 12:25PM

Gwynplaine wrote: »

I know, you'd think we were all going around with our trousers held up with baling twine, no teeth, living on cabbage.

Er. . exactly!

*tightens string*

Jen Pigs Fly · 17-05-2015 12:44PM

Gwynplaine wrote: »

I know, you'd think we were all going around with our trousers held up with baling twine, no teeth, living on cabbage.

Can put beat a good feast of cabbage and bacon!

lakesider · 17-05-2015 12:58PM

Dont forget some vicks vapour rub, on proceeding to the church smear a little amount just above your top lip, this will stop the reek coming from the bogtrotters getting up your nose!;)

RonanP77 · 17-05-2015 02:02PM

Deleted User wrote:

That's the case with most relatively old houses.

I'm talking about a house that was built in the last 10 years. Don't all new houses (not counting housing estates) have a living room and a sitting room as well as the kitchen-dining room?

LynnGrace · 17-05-2015 08:05PM

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Er. . exactly!

*tightens string*

String, eh? Very posh, begorra (etc), very posh indeed. Is that for Sunday and funeral wear and the baling twine during the week?

riclad · 18-05-2015 12:29AM

IN the old days some country, houses had 2 front rooms,
one room was the posh room,
the parlour, where visitors would go,
the local priest etc relatives visiting,
children would not be allowed to go in there normally.
There might be a piano or an old record player there .
The best furniture would be there ,
1 table and 2 or 3 chairs .
ie most of the time the room was empty.
it was always kept very clean .

Most houses built in the last 8 years , have 1 large sitting room ,
a kitchen, and maybe a utility room,
i dont think 2 living rooms is the usual layout .
apart from high spec houses ,or larger house ,s .

Country houses tend to be bigger as land was cheaper than land in dublin .

Putin · 18-05-2015 12:33AM

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

A Country funeral... what do I wear?

Turf.

NotYourYear20 · 18-05-2015 12:51AM

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

I am a gurrrlll.

You're a guerilla?

RonanP77 · 18-05-2015 01:05AM

riclad wrote:

Most houses built in the last 8 years , have 1 large sitting room , a kitchen, and maybe a utility room, i dont think 2 living rooms is the usual layout . apart from high spec houses ,or larger house ,s .

2000 square foot, it wouldn't really be considered large.

Tony Beetroot · 18-05-2015 01:10AM

If you are going there on the off chance of a pull keep it sharp.

A Country funeral... what do I wear?

Comments