A Country funeral... what do I wear?

tabby aspreme · 12-05-2015 11:02PM

If you need to start a conversation with a stranger , ask them do they think the crow's will go for the new pink bale wrap , it's a subject that's trending in rural areas at the moment.
Also you may notice the rural menfolk looking nervously as there mammies have told them Dublin wimmin are a bit "Durty"

RonanP77 · 12-05-2015 11:21PM

Make sure you bring a scented handkerchief with you, seemingly all us culchies smell of ****e. Don't eat for a day or so before hand either, you'll be force fed about 100 hang sangwiches while you're there.

As for clothes, just don't show off too much flesh or wear crazy bright colours and you'll be grand.

riclad · 12-05-2015 11:23PM

Same as dublin funeral,
dark colours , well covered .
maybe black dress and womans jacket .
Flat shoe,s .long dress .
No jeans .
ie You are not going there to look sexy,
think if i was going for an interview to work as a schoolteacher ,or an accountant ,
in a old private school .What clothes would i wear .
ie slightly old fashioned .conservative .
black hat maybe if you have one .
Like as in going to mass , country people wear formal clothes .
or the best clothes they have .
Avoid any bright colors .

Cold War Kid · 12-05-2015 11:25PM

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

I wasn't looking for fashion advice, just protocol, and thanks anyway!

I wasn't being smart but it's only Ireland - the countryside isn't that different, certainly not for rituals like funerals.
If black is not worn by the chief mourners any longer (doubt people would care of a non chief mourner wore it) anything plain and respectable I guess. I don't understand the concept of black no longer being worn at funerals - that totally does seem like a fashion code. Black is one of the most neutral colours there is - can be dressed up or dressed down, so why not at a funeral?

bb1234567 · 12-05-2015 11:34PM

all black everything

riclad · 12-05-2015 11:44PM

All the clothes you wear do not have to be black, but dark colored clothes are the norm at any funeral,
its not like going to a party ,its a sober occasion .
i was at country funeral 5 years ago,
all the men wore dark clothes ,mostly black ,or grey suits .
the women wore formal ,conservative clothes , no bright colors. no reds,pink s etc
white and red not a good color for a funeral, just go for dark colors .
i think the rule is not everyone has to wear black,
but for men, if you have a black ,grey suit ,jacket this is the time to wear it.
you are trying to blend in and show respect .
even in hollywood films most men wear black or grey at funerals .
make sure have your phone on silent,or switched off, or airplane mode .

13-05-2015 06:29AM

riclad wrote: »

All the clothes you wear do not have to be black, but dark colored clothes are the norm at any funeral,
its not like going to a party ,its a sober occasion .
i was at country funeral 5 years ago,
all the men wore dark clothes ,mostly black ,or grey suits .
the women wore formal ,conservative clothes , no bright colors. no reds,pink s etc
white and red not a good color for a funeral, just go for dark colors .
i think the rule is not everyone has to wear black,
but for men, if you have a black ,grey suit ,jacket this is the time to wear it.
you are trying to blend in and show respect .
even in hollywood films most men wear black or grey at funerals .
make sure have your phone on silent,or switched off, or airplane mode .

Just...stop.

Stop making up stuff.

I live in the country, in the SW, and have been to hundreds and hundreds of funerals, and your "the men wear dark suits, the women wear formal clothes" is complete and utter bs.

The chief mourners will usually wear suits or your more formal wear. The vast majority who come in after that will wear anything they'd wear to the pub. You don't see a lot of red and pink for the same reason you don't see it much in the pub either. You don't see a lot of Hawaiian shirts or Bermudas, but that's not because people have changed out of them to mark the gravity of the situation.

mikemac1 · 13-05-2015 06:31AM

Bailing twine for a belt

CarrickMcJoe · 13-05-2015 07:13AM

Doesn't matter what you wear, you're going to get lost once you leave Dublin.

wendell borton · 13-05-2015 07:26AM

"To travel outside of that boundary, beyond the pale, was to leave behind all the rules and institutions of English society, which the English modestly considered synonymous with civilization itself."

Still seems to apply going by some comments on here.

riclad · 13-05-2015 10:23AM

ARE you a funeral director,
why would anyone go to 100s of funerals ,?
i go to a funeral once every 3 years ,
dublin and in a rural area.
basically everyone wears dark, conservative clothes ,
Like clothes you might wear going to an important job interview .
Women wear formal wear,ie a coat,jacket, long dress .
Thats my family,
maybe everyone else wears jeans ,tee shirts , manchester united shirts ,
and short red dress,es but i can only speak for my experience .
I dont go to a strangers funeral ,only go to close friends or relatives funerals .
The Last funeral i went to was in finglas church,
All the men wore dark ,formal grey/black suits .
That family usually wears jeans ,t shirt s, casual type clothes .
Going to a funeral is not much fun,
the clothes you wear indicate its a solemn occasion , its not a fashion show.

13-05-2015 10:32AM

riclad wrote: »

ARE you a funeral director,
why would anyone go to 100s of funerals ,?
i go to a funeral once every 3 years ,
dublin and in a rural area.
basically everyone wears dark, conservative clothes ,
Like clothes you might wear going to an important job interview .
Women wear formal wear,ie a coat,jacket, long dress .

And that's possibly why everything you know about funerals sounds like it came from a book. And does not reflect the reality at all.

I live in one of those rural areas where everyone goes to everyones funerals. I'm also self employed so it's kinda one of those things that are done. I average about 1 removal a week, but I have gone to 3 removals in one night. So I know what I am talking about, and when I say your post is nonsense, it is.

There is no unwritten rule about bright or dark clothes, or formal clothes, but look around you, most people in rural Ireland don't wear neon shellsuits. People will go in any clothes that they would go to town in, and that usually means darker clothes here, meanwhile in Nigeria they may wear brighter colours because more people there tend to do so normally. Few if anyone outside the chief mourners wear suits or formal wear.

riclad · 13-05-2015 10:43AM

Lets say the funerals i go to the men wear suits black,or grey ,
the women wear formal wear, dark or neutral colors,
no red or pink dresse,s .no short sexy dresses .
AND thats my experience ,
whether you agree with that , is irrelevant to me ..
i would not go to 1 or 2 funerals every week ,unless i was paid a LARGE sum of money in cash.
Maybe people in certain area,s have nothing to do but go to weddings and funerals ,for their social outlet .
Men don,t necessarily wear suits, but they would wear a dark coat,or a jacket .
Formal menswear, at least for the close family to the person who passed away.

coddlesangers · 13-05-2015 10:51AM

Build your own dress out of barry's tae bags and bailin' twine. That way, when it rains you won't need fake tan at all at all.

_Kaiser_ · 13-05-2015 10:52AM

riclad wrote: »

ARE you a funeral director,
why would anyone go to 100s of funerals ,?

He's Chazz from Wedding Crashers?

13-05-2015 11:17AM

riclad wrote: »

Lets say the funerals i go to the men wear suits black,or grey ,
the women wear formal wear, dark or neutral colors,
no red or pink dresse,s .no short sexy dresses .
AND thats my experience ,
whether you agree with that , is irrelevant to me ..
i would not go to 1 or 2 funerals every week ,unless i was paid a LARGE sum of money in cash.
Maybe people in certain area,s have nothing to do but go to weddings and funerals ,for their social outlet .
Men don,t necessarily wear suits, but they would wear a dark coat,or a jacket .
Formal menswear, at least for the close family to the person who passed away.

But again your observation is based on how little you know.

It would be like me saying I go to Tallaght once every 3 years and all I see are horses, drunks, women in sunglasses to hide bruises, poverty and evidence of crime. And then saying that is a fair assessment of Tallaght and its people, and whether anyone agrees or not is irrelevant.

corner of hells · 13-05-2015 11:25AM

To Elland Back wrote: »

Have you any idea where the Pale begins and ends?

Below the collar of the shirt and just above the elbows ?

gormdubhgorm · 13-05-2015 11:44AM

riclad wrote: »

Lets say the funerals i go to the men wear suits black,or grey ,
the women wear formal wear, dark or neutral colors,
no red or pink dresse,s .no short sexy dresses .
AND thats my experience ,
whether you agree with that , is irrelevant to me ..
i would not go to 1 or 2 funerals every week ,unless i was paid a LARGE sum of money in cash.
Maybe people in certain area,s have nothing to do but go to weddings and funerals ,for their social outlet .
Men don,t necessarily wear suits, but they would wear a dark coat,or a jacket .
Formal menswear, at least for the close family to the person who passed away.

Down the country it is the done thing to go to a lot of funerals everyone knows someone who knows someone who died. A good or great funeral would be a description of a big crowd plenty of food and drink of course. A funeral is a social event in rural Ireland and people seem to go to as many funerals as they can. It is not just out of respect. Although the owner of "the shop" in the village definitely has to make an appearance as it is good for business.

The Backwards Man · 13-05-2015 11:56AM

gormdubhgorm wrote: »

Down the country it is the done thing to go to a lot of funerals everyone knows someone who knows someone who died. A good or great funeral would be a description of a big crowd plenty of food and drink of course. A funeral is a social event in rural Ireland and people seem to go to as many funerals as they can. It is not just out of respect. Although the owner of "the shop" in the village definitely has to make an appearance as it is good for business.

Not just the shop, the mechanic, the publican, the milkman and the postmaster will all be noted in their absence. Always sit in one of the transepts to ensure the best possible view of who's there and who isn't.

Badly Drunk Boy · 13-05-2015 12:00PM

riclad wrote: »

The Last funeral i went to was in finglas church,
All the men wore dark ,formal grey/track suits .

FYP :pac:

13-05-2015 12:01PM

It's a funeral. Be respectful and dress as such.

WoollyRedHat · 13-05-2015 12:05PM

Wear one of the masked figures out of the Wicker Man. If anyone asks you why you're wearing that, tell them you watched the film the night before and assumed that that was how it was done in the country.

13-05-2015 12:09PM

Two of my siblings are married to foreigners - one English, the other American. Both were extremely confused about Irish funerals, with one being horrified that the coffin (or even sometimes the body by itself) stays in the house for a period of time. One was horrified by the thought that the coffin could be in the sitting room and you'd be sat around it, chatting away with a cuppa as if it were completely normal.

riclad · 13-05-2015 12:20PM

I lived in the country till i was 19, went to zero funerals,
no reason to go,
i did not know anyone who passed away.
Now i ,m getting to the age where people i know are passing away.
When you get over 30, you will notice ,all of a sudden people start to die.

i,m giving my experience of funerals here,i don,t give a damn ,
whether other posters agree with it .

Yes Finglas is a working class area ,but all the people at that funeral
wore formal clothes, all the men wore black,or grey suits .
ALL the women wore conservative type clothes , long dresses etc
Most of the people there do not live in finglas .

ALL the funerals i went to the coffin went straight from the mortuary ,to the church, then to the cemetary .
Then we went to a hotel or restaurant for a formal meal, with drinks .
The irish wake is a more rural tradition ,never been to one in dublin.
My Family mostly lives in rural area s.
i live in dublin.

13-05-2015 12:22PM

riclad wrote: »

Yes Finglas is a working class area ,but all the people at that funeral
wore formal clothes, all the men wore black,or grey suits .
Most of the people there do not live in finglas .

Not the first cousin of sense. What are you trying to say?

fizzypish · 13-05-2015 12:22PM

TL;DR. What did OP wear?

Nekarsulm · 13-05-2015 01:00PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Two of my siblings are married to foreigners - one English, the other American. Both were extremely confused about Irish funerals, with one being horrified that the coffin (or even sometimes the body by itself) stays in the house for a period of time. One was horrified by the thought that the coffin could be in the sitting room and you'd be sat around it, chatting away with a cuppa as if it were completely normal.

Quite agree with you, BABM. English couple who are friends went to a wake recently, their teenage daughters friend had her mother pass away. Our friend related how insane it was, she was drinking tea in the kitchen , when she was invited into the bedroom to see the deceased.
She hadn't realised the body was in the house. She was still in shock a week later when talking to me.

jmayo · 13-05-2015 01:36PM

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

Feck it, in Dublin anyway you wear what you like colour wise lol.

Heard tonight from a pal that it's all black clothes down the country at a funeral. Jays I don't want to be a Goth.

Just be respectful.
No plunging necklines showing lots of cleavage or short skirts as you might give some ould fella the horn and possibly a heart attack.

Then again would you fancy a fella with a bit of land as opposed to the current OH ?

Oh and you should know there will be none of those stretch limos carting the family around.
You drive your own cars.

Also if they start talking about local events, GAA or farming just tell them you are from Dublin.
Dubs are not expected to know about such things and that includes the GAA. Note: going to a couple of Dubs matches in Croke Park in the summer does not constitute knowledge of GAA.

They will just talk to you about the traffic, the murders and RTE.

Also keep an eye on that neighbour from Cavan

riclad wrote: »

I lived in the country till i was 19, went to zero funerals,
no reason to go,
i did not know anyone who passed away.

Where the hell did you live ?
Or did you have zero friends and zero neighbours ?
Down in Mayo people are dying all the feckin time so you would end up going to friends'/neighbours' parents/grandparents funerals.

Buford T. Justice XIX · 13-05-2015 01:46PM

jmayo wrote: »

Just be respectful.
No plunging necklines showing lots of cleavage or short skirts as you might give some ould fella the horn and possibly a heart attack.

Then again would you fancy a fella with a bit of land as opposed to the current OH ?

Oh and you should know there will be none of those stretch limos carting the family around.
You drive your own cars.

Also if they start talking about local events, GAA or farming just tell them you are from Dublin.
Dubs are not expected to know about such things and that includes the GAA. Note: going to a couple of Dubs matches in Croke Park in the summer does not constitute knowledge of GAA.

They will just talk to you about the traffic, the murders and RTE.

Also keep an eye on that neighbour from Cavan

Where the hell did you live ?
Or did you have zero friends and zero neighbours ?
Down in Mayo people are dying all the feckin time so you would end up going to friends'/neighbours' parents/grandparents funerals.

I'm at an age where some of my own peer group are dying and even some of their children.

Add that to parents and spouses of friends and family and neighbours and their extended family, like Conor74, i would average 65-70 funerals a year, at low water mark.

I laughed at my father when he said that not too far into the future, my social life would revolve more around going to funerals than going to pubs/nightclubs.:(

5starpool · 13-05-2015 02:41PM

Some people seem to assume North West equates to Donegal. This is a fallacy.

Reasons:
1. Donegal is a strange place that is governed by it's own set of weird ways and shouldn't be lumped in with the est of the country.
2. If Mayo is West, then Donegal should just be North as it contains the most northerly point of the island.
3. As Sligo is on the angle of North and West it is the true location of North West. A part of Leitrim should be allowed too because, well, poor Leitrim. South Leitrim can go in the midlands though.
4. Cavan is occasionally described as being in the North West but that's just lunacy.

Ergo North West should be Sligo or North Leitrim only. I'm not biased at all though, no siree.

A Country funeral... what do I wear?

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