A Country funeral... what do I wear?

Deleted User wrote: »

Don't forget your Passport. Not sure if you need a Visa.

They take major credit cards , but will roide the arse off yah in charges if you use Amex

BreadnBuddha wrote: »

Pick a character from The Commitments and dress like that. All the bog warriors won't believe you're arriving from Dublin unless you look, act and speak like a Roddy Doyle character.

Don't forget to throw in the occasional 'ah sufferin' jaysus' and 'I will'n me bollox' to brighten up their dreary hay munching existence.

A useful alternative approach would be to turn up in a man's suit and attempt to sell everyone a crappy Chinese SUV while uttering phrases like "Ah me oul' coddle-waddioh wha' wha' wha'?? Sure if me granny had whee-als an' a saddle she'd be a boicycle!!"

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

Well excuse me now!

My next door neighbour is from Cavan. And she always says "we are going down the country to see the Mam and Dad!

Unless she is lying about where she is from

"Down the country" is a euphemism for anywhere outside the Pale I think!

Unless someone is specific about the county, ie, say Cork then it's "down to Cork"

Jayzz I'm even confusing myself now!

But yet the culchies say up in Dublin.I had these argument with the country cousins plenty of times.since it is not goegrahically correct in the west, does it mean that dublin is superior? "up" in standard up in Dublin?: )

@spanisheyes Back to the country funeral thing do not say anything that would make you sound or seem like in country parlance "a bit of a dub". Don't worry about attire they are almost like "us". But be prepared for men of the land with rough hands like shovels, almost taking your hand off when they shake it.
Be prepared for a lot of drink , tae, hang sandwiches and more hang sandwiches! Never ever call them ham sambos. See warning about "bit of a dub" above. Also don't tell them about this thread some of the more advanced ones may have dial up broadband.
Oh and don't mention their county final unless some one else brings it up, things may get heated otherwise. If you can sing preferably rebel ballads or Sean nos when the drinking starts do that. Good luck.

OP, you're actually gonna need plenty of changes of clothes.

A Dublin funeral lasts two days, a country funeral lasts a week.

A generation or so ago they were arsin' around the bog and a bowl of stirabout or a couple of platefuls a' spuds would have cured all the angst from here back to Norway, but since the changeover in 1922, when they got well down to the porridge-pot there was no holdin' them. It started off with top-hats and white ties and "getting into the Gentry", and then to chatting about the servant problem with the Anglo-Irish Horse-Protestants, who at least were reared to it, and it went from that to late dinner, and now it's "Angst", no less. Not that the Horse-Protestants were any better, but they were longer at it. They are just as ignorant except that their ill-manners are sharpened by time.

-- Brendan Behan.

dee_mc wrote: »

You won't offend anyone in those outfits. Wear comfy shoes as there's no guarantee you'll have a seat any or all of the time.

^^^
This
+1 on the shoes, graveyard can sometimes be a bit of a walk away.

It depends on the funeral, it wouldn't matter in some places because they provide a white frock before your sacrificed to the golden cow god.

Red is frowned on by many older people at funerals.
I'd avoid red.

recylingbin wrote: »

Bring forks to ingratiate yourself. We're always short of forks.

Speak for yourself.

At a country funeral everyone will be accessorised to bejaysus. Anything not tied down in the house will be attached to people - hats, scarves, doilys, toilet seat covers, everything. Avoid this.

It's also always raining down the country and anything will go as an umbrella. Just as the person is being lowered into the ground, someone will lose control of a giant "Castrol GTX" umbrella which will follow the coffin into the grave.