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Marriage may be contracted in accordance with law by two persons without distinction
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Ash.J.Williams wrote: »sorry the post i reponded to was saying mothers were not neccessary...and i said i was a single male parent and i'm voting yes...i'm sure widowers would love a new mother for their daughters
Not necessarily.
Some widowers might be of the opinion that they have lost the love of their life and have no interest in seeking a replacement. Just like some widows....
Also - that comment re replacement sounds a bit like 'sure, any woman can be a mother'.
Do you think fathers can't talk about periods or something???
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i'm saying there are days when a female family member walks in and my daughter reacts a certain way that i cannot provide. we can argue this all day but i'm voting yes so you're wasting your timeBannasidhe wrote: »Not necessarily.
Some widowers might be of the opinion that they have lost the love of their life and have no interest in seeking a replacement. Just like some widows....
Also - that comment re replacement sounds a bit like 'sure, any woman can be a mother'.
Do you think fathers can't talk about periods or something???0 -
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Ash.J.Williams wrote: »i'm saying there are days when a female family member walks in and my daughter reacts a certain way that i cannot provide. we can argue this all day but i'm voting yes so you're wasting your time
You brought it up and now you don't want to discuss it. Nothing to do with how you are voting just trying to find out what it is you think only a mother can do.
Do you also think there is stuff only a father can do?
How does that differ from what the No campaigners are saying?? 0 -
wel for a start it has nothing to do with the ref....i only brought it up coz a poster said it in such an absolute fashion.Bannasidhe wrote: »You brought it up and now you don't want to discuss it. Nothing to do with how you are voting just trying to find out what it is you think only a mother can do.
Do you also think there is stuff only a father can do?
How does that differ from what the No campaigners are saying??0 -
[Deleted User] wrote: »I see no such need however. For a boy or a girl. Perhaps I a missing something - but as I said this thread is not about that so it is difficult to explore here as to what you think the requirement actually is. Perhaps a new thread will pop up on the subject.
I love this - you get your point across, and then want to say "but that has nothing to do with this discussion", completely dismissing that poster's opinion.
That's what you're missing, is your failure to acknowledge that other people have a perspective that you don't share, and your efforts to ignore it, dismiss it, play it down... that simply comes across as avoidance.
Package it, map it, analyse it whatever way you like, but unless you address it head on and acknowledge people, then your efforts just going to come off as shifty and trying to avoid any awkward questions.Bannasidhe wrote: »You brought it up and now you don't want to discuss it. Nothing to do with how you are voting just trying to find out what it is you think only a mother can do.
Do you also think there is stuff only a father can do?
How does that differ from what the No campaigners are saying??
Bannasidhe you can present all the statistics you want, but you've also presented personal anecdotes to back up your opinion, so you must surely be able to understand when people are basing their opinions upon their experiences. Most people aren't academics and they have no interest in analysing studies and papers that would take months of even the best academic minds to make sense of.
The people you're talking to have very little or no experience of same-sex parenting. It's almost a foreign concept to them, so I don't think there's anything to be gained by questioning why they think the way they do. It's obvious - that's all they've ever known.
I don't mean to trivialise anything here but I had the same reaction when my friend suggested I try escargot instead of the caesar salad - something completely unfamiliar to me that I just rejected it outright.
We can say this referendum has nothing to do with parenting, but that IMO is a trite response to people with genuine questions who have little experience of same-sex parenting and gender politics and all the rest of it, because they've never had to think about it, and now all of a sudden we're presenting them with concepts that are alien to them, concepts that we're used to, and just because we say "You should be cool with this! Why not?". The answer is simply because they've never experienced anything different to what they're used to.
I just think personally that it's better to take the time to explain to people in terms they understand, rather than in terms that we understand because we've grown up with something different and so we're used to it a lot longer than they are.
People have genuine gut feelings based on fear that they lack the ability to articulate because they've never had to question it. I think it's better to address their questions in an informal and informative way and try and see things from their perspective rather than trying to avoid their questions and make like they should just support marriage equality for all the reasons we can list off.
From my experience talking to people about marriage equality, those reasons go over their heads if they feel like I'm unwilling to understand their perspective.0 -
One eyed Jack wrote: »I love this - you get your point across, and then want to say "but that has nothing to do with this discussion", completely dismissing that poster's opinion.
That's what you're missing, is your failure to acknowledge that other people have a perspective that you don't share, and your efforts to ignore it, dismiss it, play it down... that simply comes across as avoidance.
Package it, map it, analyse it whatever way you like, but unless you address it head on and acknowledge people, then your efforts just going to come off as shifty and trying to avoid any awkward questions.
Bannasidhe you can present all the statistics you want, but you've also presented personal anecdotes to back up your opinion, so you must surely be able to understand when people are basing their opinions upon their experiences. Most people aren't academics and they have no interest in analysing studies and papers that would take months of even the best academic minds to make sense of.
The people you're talking to have very little or no experience of same-sex parenting. It's almost a foreign concept to them, so I don't think there's anything to be gained by questioning why they think the way they do. It's obvious - that's all they've ever known.
I don't mean to trivialise anything here but I had the same reaction when my friend suggested I try escargot instead of the caesar salad - something completely unfamiliar to me that I just rejected it outright.
We can say this referendum has nothing to do with parenting, but that IMO is a trite response to people with genuine questions who have little experience of same-sex parenting and gender politics and all the rest of it, because they've never had to think about it, and now all of a sudden we're presenting them with concepts that are alien to them, concepts that we're used to, and just because we say "You should be cool with this! Why not?". The answer is simply because they've never experienced anything different to what they're used to.
I just think personally that it's better to take the time to explain to people in terms they understand, rather than in terms that we understand because we've grown up with something different and so we're used to it a lot longer than they are.
People have genuine gut feelings based on fear that they lack the ability to articulate because they've never had to question it. I think it's better to address their questions in an informal and informative way and try and see things from their perspective rather than trying to avoid their questions and make like they should just support marriage equality for all the reasons we can list off.
From my experience talking to people about marriage equality, those reasons go over their heads if they feel like I'm unwilling to understand their perspective.
Wut???
A poster said he believes a girl needs a mother (as distinct to a female role model). I asked some questions based on this statement in an effort to find out what that poster believed only a mother could provide - I don't recall posting any statistics or anecdotes among my questions
How can I understand the perspective of someone who refuses to explain why they think a particular thing???
I admit to being nonplussed by the suggestion that a widower could just find a replacement as if all women are interchangeable and can just slot into the mammy role.0 -
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