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How will you vote in the Marriage Equality referendum? Mod Note Post 1

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Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,687 ✭✭✭✭Penny Tration


    In fairness, that's great rhetoric but not actually the point.

    The difference is more aptly stated thus:
    If a man and woman get married, it's generally prudent to consider what will happen if any children are born during the period that they are married. Because, mostly, that's what happens. Indeed, we can fixate on marginal cases of eighty year old women marrying. But that would be to get ludicrous. Law deals with children in this context, because the arrival of children within a straight marriage is perfectly normal.

    In a SSM, there's simply no need to provide for children being born within the marriage.

    Now, not to seem disingenuous, I'm a No voter. But that's not the actual point I'm making here - vote whatever way you like. I just had a mood to say why that bit of rhetoric that Yes voters are so fond of is pap.

    80 year old women?

    I'm 26 and infertile.

    Am I allowed to get married?

    Insinuating that only OAPs are infertile is downright insulting to those of us with medical issues.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,218 ✭✭✭✭Bannasidhe


    If a man and woman get married, it's generally prudent to consider what will happen if any children are born during the period that they are married. Because, mostly, that's what happens. Indeed, we can fixate on marginal cases of eighty year old women marrying.


    Random point time:

    2011 Census: There were 344,944 couples without children of which 261,652 were married while 83,292 were cohabiting couples. Total of 1,708,604. married couples.http://www.cso.ie/en/newsandevents/pressreleases/2012pressreleases/pressreleasecensus2011profile5householdsandfamilies/

    Not a huge amount but hardly 'marginal'.


    Also it might be 'prudent' to think they will have children but as it is not compulsory nor does it form part of the contract of marriage it a herring. A big red herring.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,016 ✭✭✭✭aloyisious


    noway12345 wrote: »
    Ok, people need to calm down. Some of you are way too emotional. I know why we have this referendum and I know the bill was passed.

    The overwhelming majority of people support SSM but that's not the case when it comes to the adoption of kids by homosexuals. This is why the no side are using kids on their posters. People are against homosexuals adopting kids.

    Now just to repeat, I know the bill was passed and I know why there's a referendum on SSM. This doesn't change the fact that people are unhappy with the bill being passed.

    The reason that adoption was not made an issue for referendum is that it is covered by Statute Law, and unless some-one makes a case of it being ultra vires to the constitution in the Supreme Court, there is no direct connection with the constitution.

    The Civil Marriage issue is directly linked to a section in the constitution, section 41, so if there is to be a change to it, there has to be a referendum put to all us citizens of voting age to approve or reject it. That is why there are two camps arguing about that issue.

    @noway: I've edited this to point out that (as you've noted) that some people, mainly the vote NO campaign, keep mentioning the adoption issue in respect to Gay (read LGBT) adopting children when they speak/write about the Civil Marriage issue. Those vote NO campaign people are deliberately misleading the voting public. They are well aware that both are completely separate legal issues. Maybe you could direct your question about why they are linking the two legal issues to them.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,070 ✭✭✭✭pq0n1ct4ve8zf5


    Bannasidhe wrote: »
    Random point time:

    2011 Census: There were 344,944 couples without children of which 261,652 were married while 83,292 were cohabiting couples. Total of 1,708,604. married couples.http://www.cso.ie/en/newsandevents/pressreleases/2012pressreleases/pressreleasecensus2011profile5householdsandfamilies/

    Not a huge amount but hardly 'marginal'.


    Also it might be 'prudent' to think they will have children but as it is not compulsory nor does it form part of the contract of marriage it a herring. A big red herring.

    Also, based on that, it's prudent (word of the moment :D) to assume that there's a likelihood of longterm and especially married couples having children, even if it's not a case of mammies and daddies loving each other very much and doing a special hug. People have children from previous relationships, people adopt, people who want babies probably will have babies, even if they're gay.

    Voting no will not stop any of that, it just puts those children and those families on a lower footing than their straight peers.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,153 ✭✭✭✭bnt


    Now, I don't know how much stock you put in celebrity endorsements; I'm just surprised that no-one's posted this yet:



    (You may know him from such TV shows as The Wire, Love/Hate and Game of Thrones.)

    You are the type of what the age is searching for, and what it is afraid it has found. I am so glad that you have never done anything, never carved a statue, or painted a picture, or produced anything outside of yourself! Life has been your art. You have set yourself to music. Your days are your sonnets.

    ―Oscar Wilde predicting Social Media, in The Picture of Dorian Gray



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  • Moderators, Computer Games Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 8,582 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wilberto


    Any time I see/hear the No campaign, it nearly always essentially ends up like this:



  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,152 ✭✭✭noway12345


    i dont suppose you care to explain why?

    I believe that children are best brought up the way they have been for centuries. It's apart of nature. You have a mother and a father. It's the best upbringing for kids.

    This isn't having a go at single parents, homosexual parents or any other type of parents. They try to raise kids the best they can but that doesn't change the fact that a child is best positioned to prosper with having a male and a female influence.

    I'm not trying to offend anyone, that's just the way I see it and there's many that agree with me.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,664 ✭✭✭MrWalsh


    noway12345 wrote: »
    I believe that children are best brought up the way they have been for centuries. It's apart of nature. You have a mother and a father.

    Good. Same sex couples have been raising children for centuries and will continue to do so for centuries. And these children do indeed have a biological mother and father. None of that will change.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 35,514 ✭✭✭✭efb


    noway12345 wrote: »
    I believe that children are best brought up the way they have been for centuries. It's apart of nature. You have a mother and a father. It's the best upbringing for kids.

    This isn't having a go at single parents, homosexual parents or any other type of parents. They try to raise kids the best they can but that doesn't change the fact that a child is best positioned to prosper with having a male and a female influence.

    I'm not trying to offend anyone, that's just the way I see it and there's many that agree with me.

    What's that based on?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,007 ✭✭✭✭VinLieger


    noway12345 wrote: »
    I believe that children are best brought up the way they have been for centuries. It's apart of nature. You have a mother and a father. It's the best upbringing for kids.

    This isn't having a go at single parents, homosexual parents or any other type of parents. They try to raise kids the best they can but that doesn't change the fact that a child is best positioned to prosper with having a male and a female influence.

    I'm not trying to offend anyone, that's just the way I see it and there's many that agree with me.

    Do you have a single piece of verifiable facts or statistics to prove this?


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,016 ✭✭✭✭aloyisious


    In fairness, that's great rhetoric but not actually the point.

    In a SSM, there's simply no need to provide for children being born within the marriage.

    If you read back through the post my reply was to, you may see that the O/P believes there is no point in allowing same sex couples marry, because there is no way they could procreate without a third party assisting them to that end.

    Is it your point that he/she is right in what he/she believes on the marriage issue, and it is precisely for that reason you also oppose the extension of civil marriage to same sex couples?

    To me, the fact that a same sex couple may not be able to procreate without a third party is not a legal reason to disbar them from the act of civil marriage.

    I don't understand this from you "In a SSM, there's simply no need to provide for children being born within the marriage". What does that mean? To me (for the moment) it sound's dismissive of any LGBT couples innate feeling (as humans akin to you) similar to what other humans feel, as if LGBT folk are incapable of such feelings.

    Given the deliberate attempt by some people active in the Vote No campaign to link adoption of children with the same sex civil marriage issue, for a similar reason; that of denial to same sex couples of what is allowed to straight couples, I believe there is more than a chance that they would be made (de-facto and de jure) lesser than equal humans and citizens, should either wish of the Vote NO campaign managers succeed.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,257 ✭✭✭GCU Flexible Demeanour


    80 year old women?

    I'm 26 and infertile.

    Am I allowed to get married?

    Insinuating that only OAPs are infertile is downright insulting to those of us with medical issues.
    Sure, I'm not insinuating anything. If anything, you're insinuating that OAPs are such awful people that its an insult if you think you're being categorised with them.

    What I said stands. It's perfectly normal for straight marriages to produce children, and therefore perfectly reasonable that the law reflects that reality. In fact, even if a straight couple married with no intention to have children, it would still be not be outlandish for the law to provide for this eventuality.

    But we never have to do it for SSM. That's the point that folk are trying to pin down.

    It doesn't especially mean that SSM shouldn't be legislated for. It just means that some concepts that are relevant to straight marriage are irrelevant to SSM.
    Bannasidhe wrote: »
    Random point time:

    2011 Census: There were 344,944 couples without children of which 261,652 were married while 83,292 were cohabiting couples. Total of 1,708,604. married couples.http://www.cso.ie/en/newsandevents/pressreleases/2012pressreleases/pressreleasecensus2011profile5householdsandfamilies/

    Not a huge amount but hardly 'marginal'.
    On a technical point, I'd wonder if they're including pre-families and empty nesters in that. Maybe they ain't, but that's what you'd need to see how many of those marriages are not fecund.

    However, again, can I suggest you look again at exactly what I've said. It's perfectly normal for straight marriages to produce children, and thus perfectly reasonable that the law provides for this. It shouldn't be a controversial point - I actually made it to see if such a banal point would spark a reaction, when made in this context.
    Bannasidhe wrote: »
    Also it might be 'prudent' to think they will have children but as it is not compulsory nor does it form part of the contract of marriage it a herring. A big red herring.
    As I said, I'd agree it's a red herring to the extent that it isn't an argument in favour or against legislating for SSM.

    It isn't a red herring to the extent that it points to a block of law that's (tbh) essential for straight marriages, but utterly unnecessary for SSM.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,257 ✭✭✭GCU Flexible Demeanour


    aloyisious wrote: »
    Is it your point that he/she is right in what he/she believes on the marriage issue, and it is precisely for that reason you also oppose the extension of civil marriage to same sex couples?
    No, as I've said this is neither an argument in favour nor against legislating for SSM. However, it does mean that we are legislating for two different situations.
    aloyisious wrote: »
    I don't understand this from you "In a SSM, there's simply no need to provide for children being born within the marriage". What does that mean? To me (for the moment) it sound's dismissive of any LGBT couples innate feeling (as humans akin to you) similar to what other humans feel, as if LGBT folk are incapable of such feelings.
    Well, I'd guess you can see I'm just stating a fact. Are you saying the law should provide for children being conceived within SSM, even though its clearly irrelevant?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,218 ✭✭✭✭Bannasidhe


    noway12345 wrote: »
    I believe that children are best brought up the way they have been for centuries. It's apart of nature. You have a mother and a father. It's the best upbringing for kids.

    This isn't having a go at single parents, homosexual parents or any other type of parents. They try to raise kids the best they can but that doesn't change the fact that a child is best positioned to prosper with having a male and a female influence.

    I'm not trying to offend anyone, that's just the way I see it and there's many that agree with me.

    That actually isn't the way children were raised 'for centuries' and different cultures had different ways - In Native Australian culture men had feck all to do with child rearing - that role was carried out by the mother and her sisters until puberty.

    In Ireland until the Brehon Law was finally destroyed along with Gaelic culture in the 17th century children went to live with a foster family at the age of 7 and remained there until they became adults at 15 when they went back to their clann lands. Most boys went into fosterage and quite a few girls especially from noble families. It was an important mechanism for building alliances and maintaining peace.
    Additionally, the Gaelic Irish tended towards a 'semi-nomadic' lifestyle so during Spring and Summer while the noble menfolk and the Kerns occupied themselves fighting and stealing other clan's cattle, the women, children and bretaghs would decamp to higher ground/islands etc with the clans herds.

    So a lot of the children only remained with their biological family for seven years max and only saw their fathers for half the year. There was also no concept of illegitimacy and a mother 'named' the father of her child who was not necessarily her husband.


    That was how the Gaelic Irish reared children from c2,500 BCE to c1650 - now that's centuries.

    The current system was introduced to Ireland along with the English conquest. Ironic really as among the people who introduced it common practice was that the men were either at Court or off on military campaigns while their wives and children remained back at their Manor far far away from Court.


    By the By - one doesn't need to be a mammy or a daddy to be an 'influence' or do you think lesbian couples (for example) shun male company and raise their sons (for example) among some monstrous regiment of woman????


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,152 ✭✭✭noway12345


    marienbad wrote: »
    I take that poster's point completely . The campaigners don't get to decide what is relevant - the electorate do . And they have decided that children and adoption are relevant . The no side must have known this from their private polling , hence their negative campaign.

    It is irrelevant that it is a heap of lies , that these issues are unconnected, that in any case all such adoption issues are covered under legislation in effect in May etc. etc. ad nauseam .

    They are now part of the campaign whether we like it or not and we need to deal with that and concentrate on putting the record straight instead of alienating people that hold these views

    It's right in the centre of the campaign, whether that's fair or not is another matter. People are concerned about this issue and they can't just be told to shut up. This is a democracy.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,711 ✭✭✭✭One eyed Jack


    Are you saying the law should provide for children being conceived within SSM, even though its clearly irrelevant?


    Is it?

    I suggest you have a look at the Children and Family Relationship Act then, and pay particular attention to the sections relating to AHR and guardianship.

    (I'm on mobile at the minute so I can't source directly from PDFs, but I'm recalling from memory here)


    Fcuk it, I'll save you the trouble - it's already been legislated for.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,218 ✭✭✭✭Bannasidhe


    noway12345 wrote: »
    It's right in the centre of the campaign, whether that's fair or not is another matter. People are concerned about this issue and they can't just be told to shut up. This is a democracy.

    Having, as I do daily, a read of the ol letters pages of our national newpapers I would say that people are far more concerned at how the No campaign are trying to portray single parent families, adoptive families, separated families, families who used AHR or even...*gasp*... surrogacy as lesser.

    Actually, concerned isn't the right term, furious is the right term.

    Also - you are pushing this whole 'ohhhh peeps is waaay concerned bout the gays getting their hands on kids' agenda a bit too hard. Beginning to think you are attempting to manufacture concern where there is little and what there is is based on lies in the first place.

    AND- this whole 'concern' - what is the foundation of that 'concern' exactly? Why shouldn't gay people adopt children? What do you think they will do to the children exactly?

    What about the biological children of gays? Should they be taken off them?
    Are we back to taking the children of people who don't conform to some mammy+daddy ideal?

    Jeeze - we haven't even compensated the last group of 'less than ideal' mother's who had their children stolen yet...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 46,938 ✭✭✭✭Nodin


    Bannasidhe wrote: »
    That actually (..........)some monstrous regiment of woman????

    *shudder

    Thankfully this horrible fantasy can never occur, due to the non-existence of Lesbians.

    What was the name of the practice, common until the early 20th century, I think, where children were sent to work and live with other families? Certain fairs were used to secure employment for the child.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,257 ✭✭✭GCU Flexible Demeanour


    Fcuk it, I'll save you the trouble - it's already been legislated for.
    AHR hasn't been substantially legislated for yet, but it may be.

    http://merrionstreet.ie/en/News-Room/Releases/Govt_to_legislate_for_Assisted_Human_Reproduction_Associated_Research.html

    However, that's still not a child conceived within SSM. That's a child conceived by one party to SSM, with external assistance.

    Straight marriages, by and large, just produce children without any external mediation. That's a considerable difference.

    Incidently, while making it clear I'm a no voter as I know how Irish people's minds work, I again say that this is not a reason for or against legislation for SSM. It's just pointing out there's a difference in the lived experience of SSM and most straight marriages.

    Even the lived experience of infertility is different in the case of a straight marriage, as its a medical problem. Its not a medical problem in SSM.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 35,514 ✭✭✭✭efb


    Indeed


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,218 ✭✭✭✭Bannasidhe



    Incidently, while making it clear I'm a no voter as I know how Irish people's minds work,

    Dev.... is that you??? :eek:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,257 ✭✭✭GCU Flexible Demeanour


    Bannasidhe wrote: »
    Dev.... is that you??? :eek:
    No, because I don't have a heart.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,218 ✭✭✭✭Bannasidhe


    No, because I don't have a heart.

    LOL.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 916 ✭✭✭1hnr79jr65


    I will be voting yes as i believe is equal rights for everyone.

    Funny how i have the right to make such a decision due to democracy which the Greeks pretty much founded and they had open "rampant homosexuality" as the bible bashers would say.

    And for those who say it affects children, what about the fact there a paedophiles from a church who have been protected, children sent into forced adoption and women sent to work in like of Magdalene laundries.

    At the end of the day there is bad in society everywhere, but if a gay couple can provide a stable, nurturing, loving environment for a child while maintaing the relationship status they are entitled to then they should have it.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,152 ✭✭✭noway12345


    efb wrote: »
    What's that based on?
    VinLieger wrote: »
    Do you have a single piece of verifiable facts or statistics to prove this?

    There has been studies into it but the lack of homosexual parents available has made it difficult. The general consensus of the studies show that having a male and female parent is optimal, having two female parents is a small bit behind and having two male parents is a long way behind.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 46,938 ✭✭✭✭Nodin


    noway12345 wrote: »
    There has been studies into it but the lack of homosexual parents available has made it difficult. The general consensus of the studies show that having a male and female parent is optimal, having two female parents is a small bit behind and having two male parents is a long way behind.


    You have links so we might examine these sources?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,863 ✭✭✭✭osarusan


    I posted this earlier in another thread:
    osarusan wrote: »
    Fair play noway12345, in three threads, about: a parking fine, the middle-class nature of boards, and now this one, you have had multiple posters poised at their keyboards, just waiting for another post to reply to. Hundreds of responses in mere minutes.

    I salute you.


    I think we can make that 4 threads now.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,711 ✭✭✭✭One eyed Jack


    AHR hasn't been substantially legislated for yet, but it may be.

    http://merrionstreet.ie/en/News-Room/Releases/Govt_to_legislate_for_Assisted_Human_Reproduction_Associated_Research.html

    However, that's still not a child conceived within SSM. That's a child conceived by one party to SSM, with external assistance.

    Straight marriages, by and large, just produce children without any external mediation. That's a considerable difference.

    Incidently, while making it clear I'm a no voter as I know how Irish people's minds work, I again say that this is not a reason for or against legislation for SSM. It's just pointing out there's a difference in the lived experience of SSM and most straight marriages.

    Even the lived experience of infertility is different in the case of a straight marriage, as its a medical problem. Its not a medical problem in SSM.


    If the referendum on marriage equality is passed, it will simply be 'marriage' with no distinction as to the sex of the parties involved, so how that couple chooses to conceive a child within their marriage, both heterosexual and homosexual couples will have the same access to AHR services as each other. From your own link -

    Advances in assisted human reproduction (AHR) technologies have increased the number of treatment options available to those affected by infertility and subfertility including:in vitro fertilisation, gamete donation from third party donors and surrogacy where a woman, i.e. the surrogate, agrees to carry and deliver a child on behalf of another individual or couple and the categories of people wishing to access such treatments such as heterosexual couples, same sex couples, single people and people wishing to avoid serious hereditary diseases. Therefore, from a medical and social perspective, infertility and subfertility represent an important issue.


    And AHR HAS been substantially legislated for in the Children and Family Relationship Act, which is why I suggested you look at it (your link is out of date already).

    Your efforts to poison the well with your linguistic gymnastics are nothing short of pathetic tbh. You haven't a leg to stand on here and you're doing your best to confuse and frustrate people.

    If your point is neither a reason to pass nor reject the referendum, then why bother trying to draw it out at all?


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,152 ✭✭✭noway12345


    Bannasidhe wrote: »
    That actually isn't the way children were raised 'for centuries' and different cultures had different ways - In Native Australian culture men had feck all to do with child rearing - that role was carried out by the mother and her sisters until puberty.

    In Ireland until the Brehon Law was finally destroyed along with Gaelic culture in the 17th century children went to live with a foster family at the age of 7 and remained there until they became adults at 15 when they went back to their clann lands. Most boys went into fosterage and quite a few girls especially from noble families. It was an important mechanism for building alliances and maintaining peace.
    Additionally, the Gaelic Irish tended towards a 'semi-nomadic' lifestyle so during Spring and Summer while the noble menfolk and the Kerns occupied themselves fighting and stealing other clan's cattle, the women, children and bretaghs would decamp to higher ground/islands etc with the clans herds.

    So a lot of the children only remained with their biological family for seven years max and only saw their fathers for half the year. There was also no concept of illegitimacy and a mother 'named' the father of her child who was not necessarily her husband.


    That was how the Gaelic Irish reared children from c2,500 BCE to c1650 - now that's centuries.

    The current system was introduced to Ireland along with the English conquest. Ironic really as among the people who introduced it common practice was that the men were either at Court or off on military campaigns while their wives and children remained back at their Manor far far away from Court.


    By the By - one doesn't need to be a mammy or a daddy to be an 'influence' or do you think lesbian couples (for example) shun male company and raise their sons (for example) among some monstrous regiment of woman????

    Child rearing has come in many forms, you are correct but in the main it has been with a male and female influence. Especially in the early stages.

    Will the male friends of the lesbian couple be there every night and every morning? The biggest influence on a child comes from their parents. This is an undeniable fact.


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  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,152 ✭✭✭noway12345


    Bannasidhe wrote: »
    Having, as I do daily, a read of the ol letters pages of our national newpapers I would say that people are far more concerned at how the No campaign are trying to portray single parent families, adoptive families, separated families, families who used AHR or even...*gasp*... surrogacy as lesser.

    Actually, concerned isn't the right term, furious is the right term.

    Also - you are pushing this whole 'ohhhh peeps is waaay concerned bout the gays getting their hands on kids' agenda a bit too hard. Beginning to think you are attempting to manufacture concern where there is little and what there is is based on lies in the first place.

    AND- this whole 'concern' - what is the foundation of that 'concern' exactly? Why shouldn't gay people adopt children? What do you think they will do to the children exactly?

    What about the biological children of gays? Should they be taken off them?
    Are we back to taking the children of people who don't conform to some mammy+daddy ideal?

    Jeeze - we haven't even compensated the last group of 'less than ideal' mother's who had their children stolen yet...

    Right, so I'm just telling you what we know. The ideal upbringing for kids is with a mother and father. I did not say that homosexuals will eat their babies or anything like that.


This discussion has been closed.
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