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Friends girlfriend cheated

24

Comments

  • #32
    Custardpi
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,807 ✭✭✭Custardpi


    This thread needs a poll.


  • #33
    StewartGriffin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,284 ✭✭✭StewartGriffin


    Custardpi wrote: »
    This thread needs a poll.

    Where's Wojciech when you need him?


  • #34
    jamesbere
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,022 ✭✭✭jamesbere


    Have a cup of tea


  • #35
    biko
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 81,060 ✭✭✭✭biko


    Yes, AH is the place to ask.

    Tbh, unless you have proof I don't think you should say anything.
    "John, I heard from Martin who heard from Steve your gf was cheating on you" isn't great proof.

    How about you instead tell her?
    Tell her it's your mate and she should come clean.


  • #36
    DareGod
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,298 ✭✭✭DareGod


    the evasion_kid wrote: »
    Probably afraid I'll let it slip someday and her meal ticket will leave

    She should be bowing at your feet and worshipping the ground you walk on, considering.


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  • #37
    Fratton Fred
    Closed Accounts Posts: 26,566 ✭✭✭✭Fratton Fred


    biko wrote: »
    Yes, AH is the place to ask.

    Tbh, unless you have proof I don't think you should say anything.
    "John, I heard from Martin who heard from Steve your gf was cheating on you" isn't great proof.

    How about you instead tell her?
    Tell her it's your mate and she should come clean.

    Best way forward.

    If she cheated with another mate, punch him in the face.


  • #38
    tomwaterford
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,768 ✭✭✭✭tomwaterford


    Fratton Fred wrote: »
    Best way forward.

    If she cheated with another mate, punch him in the face.

    Why???
    She is Equally if not more responsible??
    Esp if the Mate is single....takes two to cheat imo



    As for op....stay outta it....not your business


  • #39
    Cold War Kid
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,353 ✭✭✭Cold War Kid


    heldel00 wrote: »
    Do your homework, find out all the facts and is not just hearsay
    This.

    It's a difficult one. I understand people not wanting to stick their oar in, but if you go with that approach, there are risks: they could find out eventually and also find out that their friends knew. That would be horrendous for them. Or what if the relationship gets dialled up to engaged, like someone else on the thread experienced?

    I think, ideally, tell him, but obviously only once all facts are established conclusively.

    Then again, if it was just a one-off and the person cheating felt horrendous after it and it was enough of a wake-up call for them never to do it again, maybe let sleeping dogs lie.

    It's a dilemma. Wouldn't fancy being in that situation if it were a close friend.


  • #40
    G_R
    Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 5,028 Mod ✭✭✭✭G_R


    Custardpi wrote: »
    This thread needs a poll.

    I agree. Give me a min...


  • #41
    Tigger
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,701 ✭✭✭✭Tigger


    in this day and age an anonymous email should be the job


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  • #42
    G_R
    Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 5,028 Mod ✭✭✭✭G_R


    Grand_Rajnah wrote: »
    I agree. Give me a min...

    Poll's up, have at it folks!


  • #43
    UCDVet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,894 ✭✭✭UCDVet


    Do you actually 'know' she cheated. Or did you 'hear it' from someone who 'totally knows'?

    Because there is a world of difference.

    If you KNOW she cheated, you should tell him.


  • #44
    One eyed Jack
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,439 ✭✭✭✭One eyed Jack


    TheOtherBloke wrote: »
    So, I just found out my friends girlfriend of 3 years cheated on him a few months ago. I wasnt the first to know.. A few of our friends know but refuse to tell him. I feel bad hiding it from him. I know its bad hiding the truth but it would be such a shame to ruin their relationship. What would you do? Thanks


    Honestly, if I were in your position (and I often have been, and ten times out of ten that's all they were - unfounded rumours) I would feel worse if I were involved in spreading malicious rumours about my friend's girlfriend, having only heard it from someone else who heard it from someone else, etc.

    Unless the girl herself comes and tells you, I'd say absolutely nothing more to anyone about it.


  • #45
    hatrickpatrick
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,798 ✭✭✭✭hatrickpatrick


    TheOtherBloke wrote: »
    So, I just found out my friends girlfriend of 3 years cheated on him a few months ago. I wasnt the first to know.. A few of our friends know but refuse to tell him. I feel bad hiding it from him. I know its bad hiding the truth but it would be such a shame to ruin their relationship. What would you do? Thanks

    Definitely tell him. You're not ruining their relationship, she already did that by cheating on him. He has a right to know the facts so that he can decide whether he wants to continue that relationship.


  • #46
    ToddyDoody
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,419 ✭✭✭ToddyDoody


    Drop a few hints such as... isn't she such a fun loving girl?


  • #47
    Summer wind
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,285 ✭✭✭Summer wind


    I wouldn't tell him. Trust me you would be opening a huge big can of worms for yourself. My friends boyfriend told me he wanted to finish with her and I didn't tell her because he was drunk when he said it and I thought they would be ok because she was nuts about him and he had always seemed really into her too.

    A couple of weeks later to all our shock they broke up. When I spoke to her I mentioned that he had said he wasn't too happy awhile ago. She went mental and told me I should've been loyal to her and told her. I said I just thought it was the drink talking and they'd be fine. We had a huge row and even though we made up a week later things have never been the same and nowadays which is a few years later we don't really speak much. Maybe ask your friends girlfriend what exactly happened but think long and hard before you say anything.


  • #48
    TheOtherBloke
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 232 ✭✭TheOtherBloke


    Mechanical Clocktail wrote: »
    Tell him, no doubt. I don't know why anyone is suggesting contacting the cheater. The first thing she'll do is talk bad about you, maybe make something up about how you hit on her etc. to discredit you. That way be crazy town. Just tell the guy, he's being made a fool out of. Some friends he has.

    Some friends he has? We know in the back of out minds that its wrong, we feel bad but we just dont want to ruin their relationship. His girlfriend should have told him herself.. Admit the mistake and hopefully make amends


  • #49
    nullzero
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,166 ✭✭✭✭nullzero
    °°°°°


    Summer wind wrote: »
    I wouldn't tell him. Trust me you would be opening a huge big can of worms for yourself. My friends boyfriend told me he wanted to finish with her and I didn't tell her because he was drunk when he said it and I thought they would be ok because she was nuts about him and he had always seemed really into her too.

    A couple of weeks later to all our shock they broke up. When I spoke to her I mentioned that he had said he wasn't too happy awhile ago. She went mental and told me I should've been loyal to her and told her. I said I just thought it was the drink talking and they'd be fine. We had a huge row and even though we made up a week later things have never been the same and nowadays which is a few years later we don't really speak much. Maybe ask your friends girlfriend what exactly happened but think long and hard before you say anything.

    I read that and in my head it was narrated by Vicky Pollard.


  • #50
    fleet_admiral
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,750 ✭✭✭fleet_admiral


    Would you tell her if he cheated?


  • #51
    TheOtherBloke
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 232 ✭✭TheOtherBloke


    biko wrote: »
    Yes, AH is the place to ask.

    Tbh, unless you have proof I don't think you should say anything.
    "John, I heard from Martin who heard from Steve your gf was cheating on you" isn't great proof.

    How about you instead tell her?
    Tell her it's your mate and she should come clean.

    The only proof we have is that she ran to a friend of ours in tears and guilt after it happened


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  • #52
    TheOtherBloke
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 232 ✭✭TheOtherBloke


    fleet_admiral wrote: »
    Would you tell her if he cheated?

    That would be baisically the same situation. So the same discussion would be the result


  • #53
    TheOtherBloke
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 232 ✭✭TheOtherBloke


    I HAVE ANOTHER QUESTION TO ASK AND IM IN DESPERATE NEED OF YOUR OPINIONS PLEASE. Might as well kill two birds with one stone... So may I ask?


  • #54
    Lingua Franca
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,800 ✭✭✭Lingua Franca


    You should definitely blackmail her into having sex with you as well. It wouldn't be like rape at all because she could always refuse, right?

    Hilarious suggestion, guys, which I suppose is why so many of you made the same one. It's all fun and games when it's some other poor suckers lives.


  • #55
    Royal Irish
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,401 ✭✭✭Royal Irish


    Don't tell him. I was in the same position as you. I told my mate. He didn't believe me, and accused me of trying to split them up because I fancied her. Ended up kicking the shit out of each other when I tried to convince him I didn't fancy her by telling him I would fuck her with someone elses cock.

    Since that day I've always thought its best to avoid getting involved in other peoples relationships. Unless its a threesome with two lesbians.


  • #56
    Mechanical Clocktail
    Closed Accounts Posts: 255 ✭✭Mechanical Clocktail


    Royal Irish wrote: »
    Don't tell him. I was in the same position as you. I told my mate. He didn't believe me, and accused me of trying to split them up because I fancied her. Ended up kicking the shit out of each other when I tried to convince him I didn't fancy her by telling him I would fuck her with someone elses cock.

    Since that day I've always thought its best to avoid getting involved in other peoples relationships. Unless its a threesome with two lesbians.

    tbh it sounds like you don't have much in the way of communication skills!


  • #57
    Royal Irish
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,401 ✭✭✭Royal Irish


    Mechanical Clocktail wrote: »
    tbh it sounds like you don't have much in the way of communication skills!

    The truth will set you free.


  • #58
    LadyAthame
    Closed Accounts Posts: 793 ✭✭✭LadyAthame


    First TRY to get her to tell him. Then if she refuses TELL HIM.


  • #59
    Mechanical Clocktail
    Closed Accounts Posts: 255 ✭✭Mechanical Clocktail


    Royal Irish wrote: »
    The truth will set you free.

    Hakuna Matata.


  • #60
    TheOtherBloke
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 232 ✭✭TheOtherBloke


    I require help of me own and Im tempted to start another thread..


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  • #61
    Mechanical Clocktail
    Closed Accounts Posts: 255 ✭✭Mechanical Clocktail


    TheOtherBloke wrote: »
    I require help of me own and Im tempted to start another thread..

    Ah no, shoot from the hip. Go on.


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