Introvert Life

Riverireland · 19-04-2015 07:39PM

Sounds like a tough life being introverted/ shy

. What seems like a very small thing to those of us more extrovert is such a huge issue to you guys. I would always have considered myself to be a reasonably kind person. Given me food for thought OP, I'll be more aware in future.

I have seen people getting what seemed like irrationally angry/ frustrated in social situations in the past and didn't get it. Introverts would this be a symptom?

anncoates · 19-04-2015 07:39PM

Jon Stark wrote: »

The armchair psychologists are out in force.

I would have thought that's par for the course when you insist on sharing your psychological issues with a load of unqualified strangers.

Rubberlegs · 19-04-2015 07:41PM

I'm about to go out the door, and can hear the neighbours outside, so I wait till I know they are gone.
Sometimes not looking forward to social situations as I don't want to talk to people I don't know well.
Sending the kids to the shop so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Being glad when it's sunny enough to wear my sunglasses some days so I feel almost invisible to others. No hope for me at all !!

Roquentin · 19-04-2015 07:47PM

anncoates wrote: »

I would have thought that's par for the course when you insist on sharing your psychological issues with a load of unqualified strangers.

“I suppose it is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail.”

― Abraham Maslow

Jon Stark · 19-04-2015 07:48PM

anncoates wrote: »

I would have thought that's par for the course when you insist on sharing your psychological issues with a load of unqualified strangers.

Yeah that's it, you've got the situation spot on.

Macavity. · 19-04-2015 07:52PM

Jon Stark wrote: »

The armchair psychologists are out in force.

You don't have to have a degree in psychology to understand that the majority of "introverted" traits the OP mentions are signs of low self confidence.

Everything s/he mentions is a way of avoiding possible embarrassment.

because you don't trust yourself not to **** it up doing it naturally.

so you're not stuck fumbling round when you get there keeping the cashier waiting, drawing attention to yourself.

Stheno · 19-04-2015 08:04PM

pauliebdub wrote: »

I'm INTJ as well and whilst it can be problematic it's also a massive advantage in the work I do (software testing) as I'm analytical and have no problem identifying issues etc, just as long as I don't have to manage or deal with people in a significant way.

The biggest problem for me is that I don't do small talk that well, it's torture, I'm also somewhat blunt which can alienate people sometimes and I really don't suffer fools at all. I don't have self esteem issues at all.

I've been personality tested a few times for different jobs

The most invasive produced a report saying I was aware I was not good socially but had learned methods to get around it

Jon Stark · 19-04-2015 08:06PM

Macavity. wrote: »

You don't have to have a degree in psychology to understand that the majority of "introverted" traits the OP mentions are signs of low self confidence.

Everything s/he mentions is a way of avoiding possible embarrassment.

I took the op as slightly comic and over selling her or his clutziness in order to start a simple conversation. It's a harmless thread just asking people for what they feel is their sign of introvertness so I've no idea why some people found it so important to jump in with their psychoanalysis of the op.

OldMrBrennan83 · 19-04-2015 08:07PM

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Saralee4 · 19-04-2015 08:08PM

I don't have a problem with small talk with strangers, I actually enjoy it but one thing I hate is small talk with someone I am supposed to know (but don't really know if you get me) like an aunt that you never see or a neighbour someone like that.

Roquentin · 19-04-2015 08:08PM

Patww79 wrote: »

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its the meyers briggs test

OldMrBrennan83 · 19-04-2015 08:10PM

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ancapailldorcha · 19-04-2015 08:29PM

Where has this idea that introverts hate people come from? I don't hate people at all, I just require a lot less company that most people.

Stheno · 19-04-2015 08:30PM

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

Where has this idea that introverts hate people come from? I don't hate people at all, I just require a lot less company that most people.

It seems that being introverted in the wider world gets translated as dislikes people

ancapailldorcha · 19-04-2015 08:32PM

I'm definitely introverted (amongst other things) and I've not once avoided going to the shop because there were quite a few people inside. Noisy pubs are a different story but that's more to do with ambience and a desire to relax than shove my way to the bar for service.

seamusk84 · 19-04-2015 08:35PM

Do everything by email so you don't have to talk to people. Never answer unknown numbers. Don't answer the door unless you know who is calling. Always use self service checkout at the tills. Get infrequent haircuts to avoid those awkward discussions.
I could keep going on with these! To be fair I am a lot better now than I used to be lol

Saralee4 · 19-04-2015 08:37PM

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

Where has this idea that introverts hate people come from? I don't hate people at all, I just require a lot less company that most people.

its probably just because introverts tend to enjoy alone time but also social time. I have to have both. I cant be alone all the time or have someone with me all the time.

I am very social but I tend not to really be too pleased when someone calls unexpected whereas I know other people who seem to constantly have people show up at their house every minute or if I go away on a weekend, unless its family, I don't really like going for more than one night if it was with the girls, because I find anything more too much, things like that.

Colonel Panic · 19-04-2015 08:38PM

That's not introversion. I'm quite introverted but I have friends in and out of work, have a girlfriend and can make smalltalk with strangers. It's just a bit draining and I need to escape sometimes, plus I'm comfortable in my own company.

ancapailldorcha · 19-04-2015 08:44PM

I've moved about 4 times in as many years to different cities for work and going to meetup events is probably more draining that my job. It feels like I am interviewing friend candidates and is horrible.

Clandestine · 19-04-2015 09:16PM

"In this moment I am euphoric, not because of any phony conversations, but because I am enlightened by my own intelligence"

-self important introvert mantra

El_Dangeroso · 19-04-2015 09:19PM

I'm an introvert and have none of the problems outlined in the OP, as others have said, that's social anxiety, not introversion.

Introvert's energy is drained by social interaction, and recharged by alone time. Extrovert's energy is drained by solitude and recharged by social interaction.

No one who met me would think I'm an introvert, I'm really outgoing and I love giving presentations. But if I spend time with people I am on a clock of dissipating energy. If I can't get alone time, after a time I will shut down and not be able to interact with people and will feel really tired and irritated by their presence.

The only exception to this is my husband, but we can sit happily in a room together not talking so that counts as alone time to me.

titan18 · 19-04-2015 09:22PM

Robsweezie wrote: »

writing up a rough script of what you're going to say when leaving a voicemail for an appointment because you don't trust yourself not to **** it up doing it naturally.

making up the right change in your pocket before you approach the counter so you're not stuck fumbling round when you get there keeping the cashier waiting, drawing attention to yourself.

always ordering takeaway through just eat instead of good old fashioned phone ins.

feel free to add more INTJS!!

Everyone should do that second one. It's just smart, especially if you're standing in a line.

Agricola · 19-04-2015 09:48PM

You get on a bus/train and realize that its very busy and won't have a seat to yourself. Groan. You then sit beside "that person" who proceeds to make small talk........groan. That person is never an attractive female under 35 for some reason.

Macavity. · 19-04-2015 09:56PM

I hate needless small talk. You know the kind of BS small talk with someone you barely know - that's just too much, totally drains me physically. I purposely get my haircut in a Turkish Barbers where the man is very polite and just cuts my hair. No BS questions about my job, college or any other shite that doesn't need to be exchanged between total strangers. Just a haircut. Exactly what I'm paying for.

Cold War Kid · 19-04-2015 09:56PM

What if she were a 36-year-old attractive woman?

I'm not nitpicking at the OP or anyone, just expressing view, but counting change before going to the till is just being considerate - good thing to do, especially if there is a long queue. I don't bother going into shops when they're rammed busy either - it's an unnecessary bit of stress; going back there later when it's quieter makes perfect sense IMO.

I avoid making small-talk too, yet I'm fairly gregarious. One of those people who are both outgoing and enjoy their own company too.

Turtyturd · 19-04-2015 10:03PM

Sitting in the car pretending to look for something until the neighbours have gone in so you don't have to talk.

Not taking/making calls in front of other people.

Deliberately avoiding people you know in the street or on buses cos you hate the thought of trying to make small talk.

Akrasia · 19-04-2015 10:13PM

Afraid to post on message boards in case someone replies and then you have to thank them (or something)

seamusk84 · 19-04-2015 10:14PM

Turtyturd wrote: »

Sitting in the car pretending to look for something until the neighbours have gone in so you don't have to talk.

Not taking/making calls in front of other people.

Deliberately avoiding people you know in the street or on buses cos you hate the thought of trying to make small talk.

All of this!

Stheno · 19-04-2015 10:18PM

seamusk84 wrote: »

All of this!

Seriously this is not introverted it's an indicator of wider issues

As an introvert I happily do all of the above, speak at conferences etc

Being introvert means you need personal time more, not that you are a social cripple

zeffabelli · 19-04-2015 10:18PM

seamusk84 wrote: »

Do everything by email so you don't have to talk to people.

I notice people in IT never use the phone....why don't they ever use the phone? It's weird...

Introvert Life

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