I was late for work because..

Gone Drinking · 14-04-2015 07:51AM #1

I left my car outside the pub on Sunday and completely forgot to get it yesterday.

That's the reason I was late for work this morning and its true. I had Monday off and didn't leave the house yesterday. I stepped outside this morning to go to work when I couldn't find the car in the car park. Thats when I remembered.

What's the stupidest reason you were ever late for work?

Links234 · 14-04-2015 07:57AM

So you were late for work because you were gone drinking?

To Elland Back · 14-04-2015 07:59AM

Never late for work in over 30 years

gramar · 14-04-2015 08:03AM

To Elland Back wrote: »

Never late for work in over 30 years

Long-term unemployed?

_Brian · 14-04-2015 08:03AM

I've been in management for a while now but the funniest was a few years ago a lad came in 45 minutes late for shift.
He said the child had a really bad shiitty nappy and the wife refused to change it so there was nothing else he could do only say back and change it.

I cried laughing , after giving a written warning to him for being late three times in a month

Shemale · 14-04-2015 08:04AM

To Elland Back wrote: »

Never late for work in over 30 years

Working from home?

Nobody who uses Irish Rail can say this

whiskeyman · 14-04-2015 08:07AM

My dog ate my laptop

libelula · 14-04-2015 08:08AM

I was late for work last year because I got a nosebleed in the shower. I was really prone to them as a kid, and hadn't had one in ages.
I ended up standing over the bathroom sink dripping blood like nobodies business, while texting my boss the most unbelievable excuse. I still don't think she bought it

Shemale · 14-04-2015 08:09AM

Years ago I was at a free bar on a Thursday with a company we dealt a lot with, everyone in work knew I was out. I was still drinking for free at 2am so headed home but forgot to set my alarm but remembered to put my phone on silent.

A mate worked with me so he had to ring my housemate who came in and woke me at 11.30, got to work at 1.30, mortifying!!

cloud493 · 14-04-2015 08:17AM

My stand by excuses are (although I'm rarely late, cos a late worker is an unreliable worker)

- ah you wouldn't believe it, ****ing Dublin bus broke down again, shower of bastards
- the ****ing bus didnt even show up poxy eejits thats where our tax goes innit.

Hasn't failed me yet.

anncoates · 14-04-2015 08:19AM

Young kids are a good excuse.

Just simply increase the emotional scale of the invented mishap in direct proportion to the level of lateness.

5rtytry56 · 14-04-2015 08:21AM

Poor little Tots.

anncoates · 14-04-2015 08:22AM

To Elland Back wrote: »

Never late for work in over 30 years

http://adventurecampradio.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/no-medal.jpg

El_Duderino 09 · 14-04-2015 08:23AM

anncoates wrote: »

Young kids are a good excuse.

Just simply increase the emotional scale of the invented mishap in direct proportion to the level of lateness.

It's a bullet proof excuse cos of social convention. Everyone hates you a little bit when you use it though.

anncoates · 14-04-2015 08:24AM

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

Everyone hates you a little bit when you use it though.

Yeah, it makes me cry in the work toilets sometimes just to think of it.

The Peanut · 14-04-2015 08:25AM

anncoates wrote: »

Young kids are a good excuse.

Just simply increase the emotional scale of the invented mishap in direct proportion to the level of lateness.

Lad reporting to me years ago told me twice in 3 years that his only child had chickenpox. I asked him didn't Johnny have chickenpox three years ago and he said:

"Did I say chickenpox? I meant measles." He kept a straight face which was more than I did.

cassid · 14-04-2015 08:29AM

my back or hip locked up, happens all the times just have til drugs work

jester77 · 14-04-2015 08:30AM

I can't be late unless I forget to go!

El_Duderino 09 · 14-04-2015 08:35AM

anncoates wrote: »

Yeah, it makes me cry in the work toilets sometimes just to think of it.

That makes me feel better. Thanks

Dravokivich · 14-04-2015 08:35AM

_Brian wrote: »

I've been in management for a while now but the funniest was a few years ago a lad came in 45 minutes late for shift.
He said the child had a really bad shiitty nappy and the wife refused to change it so there was nothing else he could do only say back and change it.

I cried laughing , after giving a written warning to him for being late three times in a month

Im not that bloke. But similar has happened to me twice.

anncoates · 14-04-2015 08:37AM

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

That makes me feel better. Thanks

Will be back to you later.

One of the kids is trapped down the back of the piano.

deise08 · 14-04-2015 08:37AM

Years ago, one of the girls where I work was late after a very long night of drinking.

Her excuse was....
' sorry I half way down the road when a bird shat in me hair. I had to go back and wash it.'

What could you do but laugh

_Brian · 14-04-2015 08:39AM

In more than one company I worked in we handed out disciplines no matter the excuse for lads being late. People did learn to be on time when they are on a second or final written warning so it's possible not to be late at all.
In one group I had 4 lads who hadn't been late nor taken a sickie in excess of five years, one lad seven years. These were all lads with young families too.

anncoates · 14-04-2015 08:42AM

deise08 wrote: »

Years ago, one of the girls where I work was late after a very long night of drinking.

Her excuse was....
' sorry I half way down the road when a bird shat in me hair. I had to go back and wash it.'

What could you do but laugh

It actually does happen. I bumped into an ex years ago and was chatting to her on the street and it happened to her there and then.

myshirt · 14-04-2015 08:52AM

I was asleep and dreaming of the Champions League final. It went into extra time and I had to stay asleep to see the finish.

Classic.

myshirt · 14-04-2015 08:58AM

I was late because I was eating my egg for breakfast. True story.
30 minutes late.
You see there's 12 of us in the family, and we've only one spoon. #recession

Badly Drunk Boy · 14-04-2015 09:00AM

Women problems.

I should have thought it through, considering I'm male...

14-04-2015 09:05AM

Can't really be late as we don't do the whole fixed start and finish times, people come in when they want within reason. I was in early this morning (8:50) and had to turn the lights on in the large open plan office, not a sinner to be seen.

Ken. · 14-04-2015 09:18AM

anncoates wrote: »

It actually does happen. I bumped into an ex years ago and was chatting to her on the street and it happened to her there and then.

So what are you going to do with your other 2 wishes?.

suicide_circus · 14-04-2015 09:23AM

A seagull shat on me outside Arnotts a few weeks back

WoollyRedHat · 14-04-2015 10:45AM

I fell asleep on the subway for around 4 hours and woke up the opposite side of the map.

In the end I was 3 hours late for a front of house doorman position on the day that the board of management were inspecting the lobby for light fittings.

How I did not get fired that day I do not know, luckily the superintendent of the building hadn't awoken yet.

I was late for work because..

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