I was late for work because..

Gone Drinking

I left my car outside the pub on Sunday and completely forgot to get it yesterday.

That's the reason I was late for work this morning and its true. I had Monday off and didn't leave the house yesterday. I stepped outside this morning to go to work when I couldn't find the car in the car park. Thats when I remembered.

What's the stupidest reason you were ever late for work?

Links234

So you were late for work because you were gone drinking?

To Elland Back

Never late for work in over 30 years

gramar

To Elland Back wrote: »

Never late for work in over 30 years

Long-term unemployed?

_Brian

I've been in management for a while now but the funniest was a few years ago a lad came in 45 minutes late for shift.
He said the child had a really bad shiitty nappy and the wife refused to change it so there was nothing else he could do only say back and change it.

I cried laughing , after giving a written warning to him for being late three times in a month

Shemale

To Elland Back wrote: »

Never late for work in over 30 years

Working from home?

Nobody who uses Irish Rail can say this

whiskeyman

My dog ate my laptop

libelula

I was late for work last year because I got a nosebleed in the shower. I was really prone to them as a kid, and hadn't had one in ages.
I ended up standing over the bathroom sink dripping blood like nobodies business, while texting my boss the most unbelievable excuse. I still don't think she bought it

Shemale

Years ago I was at a free bar on a Thursday with a company we dealt a lot with, everyone in work knew I was out. I was still drinking for free at 2am so headed home but forgot to set my alarm but remembered to put my phone on silent.

A mate worked with me so he had to ring my housemate who came in and woke me at 11.30, got to work at 1.30, mortifying!!

cloud493

My stand by excuses are (although I'm rarely late, cos a late worker is an unreliable worker)

- ah you wouldn't believe it, ****ing Dublin bus broke down again, shower of bastards
- the ****ing bus didnt even show up poxy eejits thats where our tax goes innit.

Hasn't failed me yet.

anncoates

Young kids are a good excuse.

Just simply increase the emotional scale of the invented mishap in direct proportion to the level of lateness.

5rtytry56

Poor little Tots.

anncoates

To Elland Back wrote: »

Never late for work in over 30 years

http://adventurecampradio.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/no-medal.jpg

El_Duderino 09

anncoates wrote: »

Young kids are a good excuse.

Just simply increase the emotional scale of the invented mishap in direct proportion to the level of lateness.

It's a bullet proof excuse cos of social convention. Everyone hates you a little bit when you use it though.

anncoates

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

Everyone hates you a little bit when you use it though.

Yeah, it makes me cry in the work toilets sometimes just to think of it.

The Peanut

anncoates wrote: »

Young kids are a good excuse.

Just simply increase the emotional scale of the invented mishap in direct proportion to the level of lateness.

Lad reporting to me years ago told me twice in 3 years that his only child had chickenpox. I asked him didn't Johnny have chickenpox three years ago and he said:

"Did I say chickenpox? I meant measles." He kept a straight face which was more than I did.

cassid

my back or hip locked up, happens all the times just have til drugs work

jester77

I can't be late unless I forget to go!

El_Duderino 09

anncoates wrote: »

Yeah, it makes me cry in the work toilets sometimes just to think of it.

That makes me feel better. Thanks

Dravokivich

_Brian wrote: »

I've been in management for a while now but the funniest was a few years ago a lad came in 45 minutes late for shift.
He said the child had a really bad shiitty nappy and the wife refused to change it so there was nothing else he could do only say back and change it.

I cried laughing , after giving a written warning to him for being late three times in a month

Im not that bloke. But similar has happened to me twice.

anncoates

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

That makes me feel better. Thanks

Will be back to you later.

One of the kids is trapped down the back of the piano.

deise08

Years ago, one of the girls where I work was late after a very long night of drinking.

Her excuse was....
' sorry I half way down the road when a bird shat in me hair. I had to go back and wash it.'

What could you do but laugh

_Brian

In more than one company I worked in we handed out disciplines no matter the excuse for lads being late. People did learn to be on time when they are on a second or final written warning so it's possible not to be late at all.
In one group I had 4 lads who hadn't been late nor taken a sickie in excess of five years, one lad seven years. These were all lads with young families too.

anncoates

deise08 wrote: »

Years ago, one of the girls where I work was late after a very long night of drinking.

Her excuse was....
' sorry I half way down the road when a bird shat in me hair. I had to go back and wash it.'

What could you do but laugh

It actually does happen. I bumped into an ex years ago and was chatting to her on the street and it happened to her there and then.

myshirt

I was asleep and dreaming of the Champions League final. It went into extra time and I had to stay asleep to see the finish.

Classic.

myshirt

I was late because I was eating my egg for breakfast. True story.
30 minutes late.
You see there's 12 of us in the family, and we've only one spoon. #recession

Badly Drunk Boy

Women problems.



I should have thought it through, considering I'm male...

Can't really be late as we don't do the whole fixed start and finish times, people come in when they want within reason. I was in early this morning (8:50) and had to turn the lights on in the large open plan office, not a sinner to be seen.

Ken.

anncoates wrote: »

It actually does happen. I bumped into an ex years ago and was chatting to her on the street and it happened to her there and then.

So what are you going to do with your other 2 wishes?.

suicide_circus

A seagull shat on me outside Arnotts a few weeks back

WoollyRedHat

I fell asleep on the subway for around 4 hours and woke up the opposite side of the map.

In the end I was 3 hours late for a front of house doorman position on the day that the board of management were inspecting the lobby for light fittings.

How I did not get fired that day I do not know, luckily the superintendent of the building hadn't awoken yet.

Bassfish

Was once half an hour late because I sleepily drove for twenty minutes in the direction of my old workplace, forgetting I had changed jobs a month prior!

Sleepy

All through college I was a night-owl. So much so that I worked as a night-porter for a while during a term when I had mostly afternoon lectures.

My first week in my first career job and I managed to forget to set my alarm: woke up at 1pm. Luckily I was only living down the road from the office so I made it in during what would have been my lunch hour... only 4 1/2 hours late for work! How I survived 6 years in that job I've no idea!

SpaceTime

I had one totally unreasonable boss though. My house was broken into overnight and I had to wait for a locksmith to secure the door and wait on the Gardai.

She gave me a verbal and written warning and called me a liar in front of the whole office!

I'm still annoyed about it.

Silverfish

My alarm didn't go off.



Because I didn't set it.


Because I don't want to come here.

byronbay2

Lucille Crooked Skunk wrote: »

Can't really be late as we don't do the whole fixed start and finish times, people come in when they want within reason. I was in early this morning (8:50) and had to turn the lights on in the large open plan office, not a sinner to be seen.

Is your company hiring at the moment? I don't care what it is, I can do ANYTHING.

OldNotWIse

Because there was nobody to take the dog out in the morning and she comes first :P So yeah...I was late because I was walking the dog

TheBeardedLady

A burst pipe and having to wait for the plumber is one of my favorite excuses here - I've used that twice in the last 5 years (because my students are always telling me about their burst pipes - common occurrence here, it seems).


Two genuine stupid reasons I was late for work was not being able to find my shoes and getting locked into the apartment by my boyfriend. I told the truth in the latter case but not the first one. I live in an apartment too small for munchkins but always lose my shoes in it but I'd sound like a right simpleton using that as an excuse.

TheBeardedLady

deise08 wrote: »

Years ago, one of the girls where I work was late after a very long night of drinking.

Her excuse was....
' sorry I half way down the road when a bird shat in me hair. I had to go back and wash it.'

What could you do but laugh

That happened to me a few months ago and I had to go in and teach a class in a pharmaceutical company with a big **** in my hair with my hair kinda stuck together (though I got most of it out). That's dedication.

Going Strong

OldNotWIse wrote: »

Because there was nobody to take the dog out in the morning and she comes first :P So yeah...I was late because I was walking the dog

Mine was that I was herding cats! Well, one cat really, mine. As I was heading up the street, I heard the lovely sounds of cats having a set-to and saw my cat being chased up the road in the opposite direction to my house. I managed to catch up with her (before she got to a busy road) and shoo her back towards home which took me about half an hour of coaxing to get her as far as the top of my street.

I was about an hour late and nobody believed me! I had to do an extra hour to make up for it and got home to a cat loudly complaining that I wasn't back at the usual time to fetch her dinner.

The Backwards Man

I had a fella working for me was always late on a Monday morning, without fail. Sometimes wouldn't show at all

So one busy Friday, with a heap of work lined up for the next week, I pulls him aside and says 'Listen, oef you're not going to be here and on time on Monday don't bother coming in Tuesday either.

'I'll see you Wednesday so' he says cheerfully.

Keyzer

My wife fell down the stairs... Always a good one to use.

FloatingVoter

Going Strong wrote: »

Mine was that I was herding cats! Well, one cat really, mine. As I was heading up the street, I heard the lovely sounds of cats having a set-to and saw my cat being chased up the road in the opposite direction to my house. I managed to catch up with her (before she got to a busy road) and shoo her back towards home which took me about half an hour of coaxing to get her as far as the top of my street.

I was about an hour late and nobody believed me! I had to do an extra hour to make up for it and got home to a cat loudly complaining that I wasn't back at the usual time to fetch her dinner.

Your boss was not a cat person (therefore not understanding that you actually have two bosses). Were it me, you'd have gotten a raise.

emeldc

Lucille Crooked Skunk wrote: »

Can't really be late as we don't do the whole fixed start and finish times, people come in when they want within reason. I was in early this morning (8:50) and had to turn the lights on in the large open plan office, not a sinner to be seen.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-E99xe-uGq0

cml387

Half an hour drive to work.
Get out of car.
Look down.
Wearing odd shoes.
Drive home again to change.

glynf

Today only; because GTA V PC.


Worst excuse I have used was 'I was in a car crash', slept it out and missed a flight-so it had to be done.

rocky911

One of the lads out on the piss the night before rang in sick at 4 in the morning with a dose of the scutters...camein at 7.30 forgot he rang insaying that he was going to be late because he forgot to set his alarm...

wuzziwig

I was late for work once because my son, who was then 3, locked me out of the house. I went outside to the car to get something and he closed the door. I couldn't get back in, the place was locked up tight. I had to call over to my neighbour (in my fetching fleece dressing gown and socks!!) and ask him if I could use his phone so I could ring my then husband to leave work and open the door for me. 20 minutes later I got back in and my little fecker was happily sitting in front of the TV eating dry cornflakes out of the box.

This same child once locked me into the hotpress and also my mother in law out of her car.

FloatingVoter

^ Your lad has a prosperous career in the prison service ahead of him.

anncoates

suicide_circus wrote: »

A seagull shat on me outside Arnotts a few weeks back

You arnott serious

rocky911

anncoates wrote: »

You arnott serious

taaaaaaaaxi