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Furniture damaged or wear and tear

2»

Comments

  • #32
    One eyed Jack
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,439 ✭✭✭✭One eyed Jack


    Tell your tenant you'll be taking the price of the couch out of their deposit, should soften his cough a bit.

    Some cheek though, you'd wanna be telling him pull the other one OP tbh.


  • #33
    endacl
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,443 ✭✭✭✭endacl


    One eyed Jack wrote: »
    Some cheek though, you'd wanna be telling him pull the other one OP tbh.
    The skinny one? She'd want to have been some big lassie to be bustin' up a sofa. Some cheek indeed. And the other cheek too.

    :pac:


  • #34
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,219 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Tell them to buy their own damn (wipe clean) sex sofa.

    I think I just identified an niche in the furniture market.


  • #35
    endacl
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,443 ✭✭✭✭endacl


    Candie wrote: »
    Tell them to buy their own damn (wipe clean) sex sofa.

    I think I just identified an niche in the furniture market.
    The right kinda niche and he wouldn't need the woman at all!


  • #36
    Dozer Dave
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 491 ✭✭Dozer Dave


    No amount of riding will break this


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  • #37
    One eyed Jack
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,439 ✭✭✭✭One eyed Jack


    endacl wrote: »
    The right kinda niche and he wouldn't need the woman at all!


    That'd be a gap in the market though, niche work if you can get it that whole couch sex stress testing gig... :p

    Oh christ, now I'm after being reminded of the mental image of my flatmates footprints on the wall behind the couch a few years ago, I thought "How the F did they get there?"... took me a minute to realise :(


  • #38
    endacl
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,443 ✭✭✭✭endacl


    Dozer Dave wrote: »
    No amount of riding will break this
    Challenge accepted!


  • #39
    Ruu
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,622 ✭✭✭Ruu


    Tell him you have a sex inspectors license and that the couch shows breakage points consistent with sexual maneuvers so he'll have to pay up. Get a metal garden bench and throw a few pillows on it, no sexy sex then. :)


  • #40
    Roger Hassenforder
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,555 ✭✭✭Roger Hassenforder


    Buy a similar couch, and bring your missus over.
    Ask him to demonstrate with your missus, how exactly (rhythm/stroke length/angle/duration etc.) he broke the first couch.
    If you allow him and his auld doll to demonstrate, they might be particularly vigorous for fear of being found out, so an impartial witness is desirable. Might take a few visits with your missus.


    If he breaks the couch pay up.
    If he doesn't, take if out of his deposit (pardon the pun)


  • #41
    FloatingVoter
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,133 ✭✭✭FloatingVoter


    For the price of a new couch you can install

    A trampoline

    An overhead mirror

    A webcam

    Everybody makes love and money.

    PS: I will be entering the property market later this year. Expect announcements.


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  • #42
    --LOS--
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,028 ✭✭✭✭--LOS--


    You know what you have to do OP

    Youve sorta danced around it but I think you've already made your decision

    Threaten them with the sex inspector


  • #43
    Kevin McCloud
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,797 ✭✭✭Kevin McCloud


    Op get one of these


  • #44
    beaufoy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 327 ✭✭beaufoy


    thanks for most of replies very funny. I agree I did write a funny enquiry in a serious way its just the way i am. anyway i found an inspector and to a certain degree my idea worked.


  • #45
    jimgoose
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,237 ✭✭✭✭jimgoose


    You need a special Riding Couch. Go to Harvey Norman and ask one of the assistants - ideally a young, green-looking female one - about them. Await results. I shall expect a full report.


  • #46
    Kevin McCloud
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,797 ✭✭✭Kevin McCloud


    Bigmickey might have something suitable, one can ask him here


  • #47
    bigmickey.ie
    Company Representative Posts: 1,518 ✭✭✭bigmickey.ie


    Kevin McCloud wrote: »
    Bigmickey might have something suitable, one can ask him here

    We will always find something for everyone for the budget they have. Thanks


  • #48
    kylith
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,745 ✭✭✭✭kylith


    Two people having sex on a couch is the same as two people jumping up and down on the couch. He broke it, he replaces it. And, since the new couch will be covered in his bodily fluids and you will be unable to let the next tenants use it in good conscience he'll need to take it with him and replace it with an unsoiled one when he moves out.


  • #49
    Desolation Of Smug
    Closed Accounts Posts: 760 ✭✭✭Desolation Of Smug


    Get him a park bench and cover it with a sheet. "Break that, ya tramp..."...


  • #50
    DARK-KNIGHT
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,366 ✭✭✭✭DARK-KNIGHT


    that has to be the weirdest landlord conversation ever... firstly telling them your spreading body fluids everywhere and also telling landlord they need to invest in better furniture so you can pound her harder :D Ah **** it I absolutely love boards


  • #51
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 22,384 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Baby01032012 wrote: »
    I think this whole thread is a wind up

    Yep. And a pretty obvious one at that.


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  • #52
    osarusan
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,059 ✭✭✭✭osarusan


    I've seen hats that say 'sex inspector' on them so there are obviously some professionals out there who could help you out with an evaluation.


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