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Rosanna Davison advises cheating woman to conceal paternity doubts from her boyfriend

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Comments

  • #32
    Tombi!
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,689 ✭✭✭Tombi!


    NachoBusiness wrote: »
    But isn't that just in reference to stopping the affair?

    Doesn't her then saying she needs to sit down with her b/f and decide how they want proceed imply that she should tell her b/f of those paternity doubts? I mean, what else would Roseanna mean by saying she needs to "speak to this man" about if not the paternity doubts?

    I think you're mixed up (or I am).
    "The man" in that quote is the boyfriend's mate. There is no current affair. There was a one night stand


  • #33
    iptba
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,928 ✭✭✭iptba


    NachoBusiness wrote: »
    Doesn't her then saying she needs to sit down with her b/f and decide how they want proceed imply that she should tell her b/f of those paternity doubts? I mean, what else would Roseanna mean by saying she needs to "speak to this man" about if not the paternity doubts?
    She says:
    I do think that you need to speak to your boyfriend’s friend before the baby is born
    Not the boyfriend


  • #34
    ProudDUB
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,569 ✭✭✭✭ProudDUB


    Brutal Deluxe wrote: »
    I think you're overreacting here.

    Trust me. I'm not. I have eight nieces and nephews. Four of them were adopted. They all had wildly varying reactions to being adopted and knowing (or not knowing) their birth families and/or the circumstances of how they came into the world. Two got on just fine. Two were (and are) deeply troubled by it all. No two people are alike on things like this, so dismissing the importance of this as an over reaction, is rather ignorant imo.


  • #35
    ceadaoin.
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,687 ✭✭✭ceadaoin.


    It seems to me she is saying concentrate on the pregnancy and birth for now and to deal with the paternity issue once the child is born. A stressful pregnancy is best avoided. Anyway, would someone in this situation really consider the opinion of rosanna Davidson their first port of call for advice? I doubt it.


  • #36
    angeline
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 908 ✭✭✭angeline


    Absolutely appalling and immoral advice in my opinion....to pretend to her boyfriend that the child is his if it is not is a horrible thing to do to him. Living a lie. Should she really be advising anyone if she considers that good advice....


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  • #37
    Allyall
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,381 ✭✭✭✭Allyall


    Brutal Deluxe wrote: »
    See above. Lady has no idea who the father is. She thinks it could be his mate.

    Yes, but that doesn't change what I said.
    I still think the Father should step up.

    When it is known who it is, then he should still be there. It may not be in the form of 'partner', but that is possibly unavoidable at this stage.
    The Child could still have a very happy upbringing. Whether or not the Mother has a partner to support her, is tbh, tough..
    She should still have the Father around, who should equal the responsibilities.


  • #38
    Kevin McCloud
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,797 ✭✭✭Kevin McCloud


    Brutal Deluxe wrote: »
    You all do realize it's only a possibly the other man is the father, right? Some of you are acting like it's a sure thing.

    We are entitled to our opinions.


  • #39
    Tombi!
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,689 ✭✭✭Tombi!


    ProudDUB wrote: »
    Trust me. I'm not. I have eight nieces and nephews. Four of them were adopted. They all had wildly varying reactions to being adopted and knowing (or not knowing) their birth families and/or the circumstances of how they came into the world. Two got on just fine, two were and are deeply troubled by it all. No two people are alike on this, so dismissing the importance of this as an over reaction, is rather ignorant imo.

    I'm dismissing it as an overreaction because it's no guarantee that the child is raised by someone who isn't his biological parent.


  • #40
    The Backwards Man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,299 ✭✭✭✭The Backwards Man


    Feline Groovy wrote: »
    I don't know. It would be devastating for anyone to find out their father isn't who they thought he was (if it turns out that the friend in this case is the father).

    Is it always that way? Having seen both sides, men who have raised other men's children as their own, and men who don't deserve to be called men for the way they treated their own kids, I would think it's not always that simple.


  • #41
    Tombi!
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,689 ✭✭✭Tombi!


    Kevin McCloud wrote: »
    We are entitled to our opinions.

    Yes... I'm pointing out why I think some of your opinions/reactions to the situation are unwarranted. I'm not saying you can't have them at all.


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  • #42
    Cold War Kid
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,353 ✭✭✭Cold War Kid


    The Backwards Man wrote: »
    Is it always that way? Having seen both sides, men who have raised other men's children as their own, and men who don't deserve to be called men for the way they treated their own kids, I would think it's not always that simple.
    True, but in the cases where the man raising the child is well loved by the child who believes he's daddy, and then for this to be revealed to be a lie... bound to be at least an upheaval for the child.


  • #43
    ProudDUB
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,569 ✭✭✭✭ProudDUB


    Brutal Deluxe wrote: »
    I'm dismissing it as an overreaction because it's no guarantee that the child is raised by someone who isn't his biological parent.

    No there isn't. But the woman seems to want validation for saying nothing, doing nothing and just hoping for the best. If the child winds up being the by product of the one night stand and that fact comes out after the man has already committed to raising him, that could be very damaging to the child.


  • #44
    Kevin McCloud
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,797 ✭✭✭Kevin McCloud


    Brutal Deluxe wrote: »
    Yes... I'm pointing out why I think some of your opinions/reactions to the situation are unwarranted. I'm not saying you can't have them at all.

    You seem to be sitting on one side of the fence on this.


  • #45
    Tombi!
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,689 ✭✭✭Tombi!


    ProudDUB wrote: »
    No there isn't. But the woman seems to want validation for saying nothing, doing nothing and just hoping for the best. If the child winds up being the by product of the one night stand and that fact comes out after the man has already committed to raising him, that could be very damaging to the child.

    The first point is valid, yes. She is looking validation to do as (in her mind) the safest and easiest solution. Miss advice lady and ourselves can be more objective on it. The second one is assuming a worse case scenario here.
    Which if it is happening then by all means, she needs to make both men aware of the situation and decide what is best for the child.


  • #46
    Cold War Kid
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,353 ✭✭✭Cold War Kid


    Kevin McCloud wrote: »
    You seem to be sitting on one side of the fence on this.
    But isn't deciding that the boyfriend's friend is definitely the father the same thing? He might be, but he might not, so I guess there isn't much point in speaking in terms of him definitely being the father. However she should prepare for the chance that he is. Dopes didn't use protection, ffs. What they did was so stupid I'm not sure I believe it's real actually.


  • #47
    The Backwards Man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,299 ✭✭✭✭The Backwards Man


    Feline Groovy wrote: »
    True, but in the cases where the man raising the child is well loved by the child who believes he's daddy, and then for this to be revealed to be a lie... bound to be at least an upheaval for the child.

    Yeah, it's a question with no easy right or wrong answers, so I think it's probably a wee bit harsh to berate Rosanna too much on it. Personally, I think honesty is the best policy, but in the real world, this is not always the case.


  • #48
    DoYouEvenLift
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,188 ✭✭✭DoYouEvenLift


    I wonder what kind of % of 'fathers' are deceived into raising kids that aren't theirs lol. Absolute scumbag behaviour.


  • #49
    pq0n1ct4ve8zf5
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,070 ✭✭✭✭pq0n1ct4ve8zf5


    Brutal Deluxe wrote: »
    You all do realize it's only a possibly the other man is the father, right? Some of you are acting like it's a sure thing.

    She's "only" running a 50:50 chance of seriously deceiving her partner? What if he finds out about this in twenty years, what if he really wants a kid and decides to just stop at this one and is left nearing retirement having devoted huge amounts of time and money to a relationship (with her) and a family (the child) that's built on a foundation of a fairly mahoosive lie?


  • #50
    Allyall
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,381 ✭✭✭✭Allyall


    Feline Groovy wrote: »
    But isn't deciding that the boyfriend's friend is definitely the father the same thing? He might be, but he might not, so I guess there isn't much point in speaking in terms of him definitely being the father. However she should prepare for the chance that he is. Dopes didn't use protection, ffs. What they did was so stupid I'm not sure I believe it's real actually.

    You don't believe that someone had a one night stand without protection?

    I agree, in this day and age, people are more educated than previously, but to assume that one night stands don't happen without protection is pretty naive.

    The spontaneity..
    The fact that you may have wanted it to happen for a while...
    Possibly drunk..

    If you don't have it with you (protection), you're not going to go looking for protection....

    If it results in pregnancy, and both parents know who they are, and decide to continue with the pregnancy..

    Then step up. Take responsibility for it.
    If it turns out not to be the guy she's with, then let him know. To string him along endlessly for her mistakes would be nasty.
    If it is him, and he sticks with her, then, cool.


  • #51
    Tombi!
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,689 ✭✭✭Tombi!


    electro, I've stated if the child is the other man's she better own the Hell up to it and do something that's in the best interest of the child. My point was that some people are acting like it's a sure thing. Some are not. Neither side giving opinions are 100% correct here and there's no point acting like either side is.


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  • #52
    NachoBusiness
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,389 ✭✭✭NachoBusiness


    Brutal Deluxe wrote: »
    I think you're mixed up (or I am).
    "The man" in that quote is the boyfriend's mate. There is no current affair. There was a one night stand
    iptba wrote: »
    She says:
    Not the boyfriend

    I get that the following paragraph is regarding the b/f's "mate":
    I do think that you need to speak to your boyfriend’s friend before the baby is born, and to make it clear to him that the baby could be his but if he is willing to forget that the one night stand happened, then you are too. I would imagine that he’s happy to get back to his normal life and not get caught up in another woman’s child, as well as the huge problems it will cause with your boyfriend.

    That much is clear, but I read the following as if she then goes on to partially give advice on what to say to the b/f:
    You might consider taking a paternity test on your child, but for now it’s most important to speak to this man and agree on how you both want to proceed. My advice is to focus on your boyfriend as being the father and cut contact with this other man once you have spoken to him.

    Reason being that in the last line she says 'cut contact' with the "other man" once you have spoken to him. Surely then, the man she was referring to when she said "speak to this man and agree on how you both want to proceed" is a different man to the " other man" (the b/f's mate). She can't have been referring to the same man twice in that paragraph, it wouldn't make sense.

    Why do I feel like I just read a clue on 3-2-1. Dusty Bin anyone?


  • #53
    Tombi!
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,689 ✭✭✭Tombi!


    She seems to be pretty spot on using "boyfriend" and "other man/this man" etc. So I think her point was talk to the other fella and figure out how to proceed.


  • #54
    pq0n1ct4ve8zf5
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,070 ✭✭✭✭pq0n1ct4ve8zf5


    Brutal Deluxe wrote: »
    electro, I've stated if the child is the other man's she better own the Hell up to it and do something that's in the best interest of the child. My point was that some people are acting like it's a sure thing. Some are not. Neither side giving opinions are 100% correct here and there's no point acting like either side is.

    Ah right sorry, misread.

    Although I'm not sure on the practicalities of getting a pre-natal paternity test without him finding out something's up.

    'Honey, I need a DNA sample and a couple hundred euro'
    'What for?'
    'Just checking something. Don't worry about it. Woman stuff.'


  • #55
    The Diabolical Monocle
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,618 ✭✭✭The Diabolical Monocle


    like Chris Rock says.

    We don't need no paternity test sweety, he looks just like you, look he's got your hat.


  • #56
    Cold War Kid
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,353 ✭✭✭Cold War Kid


    Allyall wrote: »
    You don't believe that someone had a one night stand without protection?

    I agree, in this day and age, people are more educated than previously, but to assume that one night stands don't happen without protection is pretty naive.
    I definitely believe one-night stands occur without protection. :)
    I mean, however, in this specific case - when both are in relationships (one of them is married with children)... and the man is a friend of the woman's partner... I can't get over THAT kind of stupidity. Yeah I guess, caution to the wind in the heat of the moment like you said - understandable in other one-night stand situations, but I'd have thought the factors I pointed out above would be enough to instill some bit of self control!


  • #57
    Allyall
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,381 ✭✭✭✭Allyall


    Feline Groovy wrote: »
    I definitely believe one-night stands occur without protection. :)
    I mean, however, in this specific case - when both are in relationships (one of them is married with children)... and the man is a friend of the woman's partner... I can't get over THAT kind of stupidity. Yeah I guess, caution to the wind in the heat of the moment like you said - understandable in other one-night stand situations, but I'd have thought the factors I pointed out above would be enough to instill some bit of self control!


    The Catholic Church tried that for a while...























    :p


  • #58
    FueledbyCoffee
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 265 ✭✭FueledbyCoffee


    She should call Jeremy Kyle ASAP :pac:


  • #59
    NachoBusiness
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,389 ✭✭✭NachoBusiness


    Brutal Deluxe wrote: »
    So I think her point was talk to the other fella and figure out how to proceed.

    Fair enough so, well then I have to agree it's kind of strange advice.

    I mean, she's six months pregnant, I'd be furious if I was at my g/f's side throughout a pregnancy and then after she gave birth she admitted she had doubts to who the father was all along. It's a betrayal of the highest order.

    It's gonna be traumatic either way. Best to get it out in the open asap.

    I'm disappointed in Roseanna. She's not a sweet girl anymore as far as I'm concerned.


  • #60
    Bipolar Joe
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,443 ✭✭✭Bipolar Joe


    Brutal Deluxe wrote: »
    How so? The choice is "keep the boyfriend out of the loop and never mention the subject again" or "tell boyfriend, potentially risk breakup, possible fist fight between him and the other fella, possible ruining of the other man's family, leaving the pregnant woman without a partner to support her at all.

    Sure, God forbid she might have to suffer repercussions, the poor wee lamb.


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  • #61
    Wompa1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,281 ✭✭✭Wompa1


    Doesn't anybody think she should tell him anyways. She slept with his feckin' friend regardless of the outcome of the paternity. That will come out eventually. If it's 10 or 15 years down the road, there will be fireworks.


This discussion has been closed.
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