Is Vladimir Putin dead? (or seriously ill?)

AndyBoBandy · 13-03-2015 6:48am #1

He hasn't been seen in 8 days and counting, has cancelled numerous meetings and appearances etc... (some meetings he likes to attend),
and theres been some strange behaviour in Moscow and around the Kremlin.

http://www.news.com.au/world/is-president-vladimir-putin-dead-the-internet-certainly-thinks-so/story-fndir2ev-1227260905116

Antar Bolaeisk · 13-03-2015 6:52am

Probably just off bear wrestling.

Or in the states renegotiating his contract for the next season of House of Cards.

Dozen Wicked Words · 13-03-2015 6:53am

Antar Bolaeisk wrote: »

Probably just off bear wrestling.

Whilst shirtless, on horseback.

Wide Load · 13-03-2015 7:01am

In Russia, Vladimir Putin dead you!

degsie · 13-03-2015 7:07am

Just sulking I'd say.

Macavity. · 13-03-2015 7:09am

Same can be said for me and sure I'm grand.

nullzero · 13-03-2015 7:10am

Just off getting the iron curtain from the dry cleaners.

FluffyAngel · 13-03-2015 7:12am

i have it from good sources that he is in shannon refusing to get off his plane

diomed · 13-03-2015 7:12am

He's probably taking on Bear Grylls in the Testosterone Games somewhere wild and windy.

deise08 · 13-03-2015 7:35am

He's been gone for years. what's been there is a series of clones. They only have a life expectancy of 4 years though. There was a problem with the last one so the cycle was set back by 4 weeks

AndyBoBandy · 13-03-2015 9:55am

What if he's been sent back in time to prevent the collapse of the Soviat Union! But they sent him too far and he's now spending his time either hunting dinosaurs or riding around on a T-Rex?

The_Valeyard · 13-03-2015 10:06am

Probably playing the same games as Kim Jong Un.

StewartGriffin · 13-03-2015 10:23am

He just popped up at Lucinda Creightons press conference!

Seems he's to be deputy leader of ReNua.

Dog of Tears · 13-03-2015 10:25am

He's in his secret hollowed out volcano base plotting his latest fiendish attempt to take over the world.

Irish Stones · 13-03-2015 10:40am

Andybobandy wrote: »

He hasn't been seen in 8 days and counting, has cancelled numerous meetings and appearances etc... (some meetings he likes to attend),
and theres been some strange behaviour in Moscow and around the Kremlin.

http://www.news.com.au/world/is-president-vladimir-putin-dead-the-internet-certainly-thinks-so/story-fndir2ev-1227260905116

Putin met our prime minister a week ago. Given the very bad influence our prime ministar has on everybody, it's likely that Putin died right after the meeting when he heard the news that Renzi was going to leave a flower where Nemstov was killed

StewartGriffin · 13-03-2015 10:43am

Someone suggested he's recovering from cosmetic surgery and will reappear soon with the body of Adonis and the face of Samurai Jack.
What if it all went wrong and he's sitting in the shadows of his office looking like Angela Merkel?

But I think it would be more his style to force the rest of the world to have cosmetic surgery.

Mr. CooL ICE · 13-03-2015 10:44am

Probably in a ditch in Ireland somewhere, skagged out of his mind

BoJack Horseman · 13-03-2015 10:58am

Dozen Wicked Words wrote: »

Whilst shirtless, on horseback.

Bearback.

Seriously though he was on leave.
Russian state media released this picture of him cuddling with sharks

Screen_shot_2010-11-29_at_9.39.56_AM_width_600x.png

Screen_shot_2010-11-29_at_9.39.56_AM_width_600x.png

wretcheddomain · 13-03-2015 11:00am

Probably off to teach ISIS how to become as politically brutal as he is...

Richard Hillman · 13-03-2015 12:14pm

Radiation poisoning?

nelly17 · 13-03-2015 12:24pm

Hes having Margaritas with Kim Jung Un

Gatling · 13-03-2015 12:25pm

Our putin shills are been very quite

fleet_admiral · 13-03-2015 12:28pm

People shouldn't be Russian to spread rumours

AndyBoBandy · 13-03-2015 2:24pm

He'll most likely turn up in a few days with pictures of himself in the lost city of Atlantis, with Amelia Earhart's plane under his big burly arms.

nokia69 · 13-03-2015 2:34pm

Gatling wrote: »

Our putin shills are been very quite

quite

force eleven · 13-03-2015 2:47pm

http://www.debka.com/newsupdate/10758/

Dead apparently. However, relying on Debka is like swearing an oath on National Enquirer.

Fiery mutant · 13-03-2015 2:49pm

The world could only hope. I see though on CNN he popped his ugly mug into some photos early today, looks healthy enough, maybe his dose of scabies has cleared up.

recyclebin · 13-03-2015 3:45pm

He just had the opposition leader whacked. He is gone into hiding til it calms down.

He is Russia's very own Nidge.

weisses · 13-03-2015 3:47pm

Fainted when watching his girlfriend going into labour ........ pfff whimp

Depraved · 13-03-2015 4:06pm

Perhaps he has run out of stupid things to do and is looking at re-runs of Jackass for inspiration?

Eugene Norman · 13-03-2015 7:05pm

Fiery mutant wrote: »

The world could only hope. I see though on CNN he popped his ugly mug into some photos early today, looks healthy enough, maybe his dose of scabies has cleared up.

Apparantly those were old.

Don't mess with the gheys is the message here.

Adamantium · 13-03-2015 7:13pm

Andybobandy wrote: »

What if he's been sent back in time to prevent the collapse of the Soviat Union! But they sent him too far and he's now spending his time either hunting dinosaurs or riding around on a T-Rex?

Would take this more seriously than the storyline of the upcoming Terminator sequel

DarkyHughes · 13-03-2015 7:51pm

He's probably of having an affair with Sarah Palin, you can see Russia from Alaska (apparently).

BorneTobyWilde · 13-03-2015 7:58pm

He's having leg lengthening surgery. Very painful.

The Rape of Lucretia · 13-03-2015 8:16pm

Both mother and baby doing well.
Lugano is a lovery town to spend a few days too by they way.

AndyBoBandy · 13-03-2015 8:35pm

The Rape of Lucretia wrote: »

Both mother and baby doing well.
Lugano is a lovery town to spend a few days too by they way.

That's what i'm hearing

The Rape of Lucretia · 13-03-2015 8:38pm

Andybobandy wrote: »

That's what in hearing

Alina's a cracker though. She's very bendy.

AndyBoBandy · 13-03-2015 8:56pm

The Rape of Lucretia wrote: »

Alina's a cracker though. She's very bendy.

I hope she can bend a-la Neo from the Matrix to dodge the bullets if she ever decides to tell all!!

Eugene Norman · 13-03-2015 8:57pm

What kind of cryptic fcukwittery is going on here?

Too Tough To Die · 13-03-2015 9:27pm

Probably got a dodgy haircut.

diograis · 13-03-2015 9:36pm

Eugene Norman wrote: »

What kind of cryptic fcukwittery is going on here?

what a fantastic word

SpannerMonkey · 13-03-2015 9:36pm

thought the rumour was that some Russian gymnast was having his baby and thats where he is ?

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/vladimir-putins-girlfriend-given-birth-5329008

The Rape of Lucretia · 13-03-2015 11:44pm

Andybobandy wrote: »

I hope she can bend a-la Neo from the Matrix to dodge the bullets if she ever decides to tell all!!

And when I say bendy. I mean bendy :

telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/1895999/The-gymnast-linked-to-Vladimir-Putin-Alina-Kabaeva.html

Antar Bolaeisk · 16-03-2015 7:55pm

So... Vladimir Putin lives to wrestle another bear.

AndyBoBandy · 16-03-2015 7:57pm

He's back, but his face is looking a little worse for wear!!

Iranoutofideas · 16-03-2015 8:14pm

Andybobandy wrote: »

He's back, but his face is looking a little worse for wear!!

Must have witnessed the birth. Sure it would add years to any man

Pompey Magnus · 16-03-2015 8:24pm

Still no sign of his head of security, Viktor Zolotov.

AndyBoBandy · 16-03-2015 8:26pm

Iranoutofideas wrote: »

Must have witnessed the birth. Sure it would add years to any man

I know!

8 weeks on and I'm still getting my head around it!!

Capt'n Midnight · 16-03-2015 9:21pm

Andybobandy wrote: »

What if he's been sent back in time to prevent the collapse of the Soviat Union! But they sent him too far and he's now spending his time either hunting dinosaurs or riding around on a T-Rex?

Well that would explain why they are now extinct.

Is Vladimir Putin dead? (or seriously ill?)

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