Dated a hooker

CK73 · 07-03-2015 10:29PM

Sir Osis of Liver. wrote: »

So its an Asian tart who moonlights doing shoe repairs.

lol I walked into that one. We actually do have a dish called a 'cobbler' in my native country of England. You made me laugh, that was funny and oops!

evad_lhorg · 07-03-2015 10:30PM

Errr can I get that number?

CK73 · 07-03-2015 10:34PM

SoftMicro wrote: »

Fair points. I use the term hooker reluctantly but cash exchanged for the first time so i thought that meant technically she was? It was full penetration sex that she offered just in case there's confusion on that. She done blowjobs without condom for clients and after a few chats she said would put condoms on all clients. Different services under the umbrella of massage i.e. massage with happy ending and for a further fee sex

Was she offering you full sex as a client or as a bf? It does all seem to have happened very fast, but one thing I think you can conclude from this is that she can't possibly be trafficked, as she would not have that flexibility to give free time to guys if she was.

Sounds to me like you chatted and she wanted to be cared for and thought you were the man for the job. I kind of feel sorry for her that she chose someone who seems perhaps not mature enough to have handled the situation.

Thanks for explaining further. In my opinion it all happened way too quickly and it probably didn't have any legs, but I'm sure she may have felt very lonely at times and appreciated that you spoke to her like an equal at first.

dd972 · 07-03-2015 10:38PM

Tell her ''she don't have to put on the red light''

CK73 · 07-03-2015 10:40PM

dd972 wrote: »

Tell her ''she don't have to put on the red light''

She's doing massage with a happy ending, it's hardly red light stuff.

I guess this means she has no respect for herself?

Does that mean every guy that goes out on a Saturday night hoping to pull has no respect for himself?

RedemptionZ · 07-03-2015 10:44PM

Her body, she can do what she wants with it, don't think you did anything wrong OP. I'd have no problem dating a former prostitute, so long as she was clean. A current prostitute though I don't think I could deal with.

CK73 · 07-03-2015 10:46PM

RedemptionZ wrote: »

Her body, she can do what she wants with it, don't think you did anything wrong OP. I'd have no problem dating a former prostitute, so long as she was clean. A current prostitute though I don't think I could deal with.

Do you still class her as a prostitute, even though she offers massage and a happy ending?

I assume that doesn't involve kissing or her having orgasms or stuff like that, or is it more about thinking she will get an STI that being worried she may want someone else more who is better at sex?

fergus1001 · 07-03-2015 10:49PM

CK73 wrote: »

I've never been to coppers, but I've heard about it. Would you not be more likely to catch an STI at a place like that? If I'm reading correctly, the lady was offering a blow job without a condom, not penetration.

Also going back to the Op. Seriously, you had feelings for a woman and after breaking up you call her a hooker? It would have been more believable of you had said 'sex worker'.

I reckon you could get a cobbler for under 10e, so if there is any truth in the story, she probably really liked you and you likely gave away a good woman.

I imagine it must be very hard for a man's ego to cope with the idea of a woman getting paid for intimacy, even when that is as little as 'massage and a happy ending'. It takes a 'real' man to be able to put their ego aside and understand there is a lot more to a relationship than sex.

You guys reference STI's.

You have no idea! In Dublin especially the men there do not like using condoms, be it the Coppers where girls are drunk and less likely to protest, or a professional who is sober and armed with a bag of condoms, I know which I think is safer!

I know everyone is different and some lads done mind sharing intimacy but for me it would be highly disrespectful

Everyone is different I except that, but the op was being put in an uncomfortable position by someone who swapped sexual favours for currency and that can't be argued away

mufcboy1999 · 07-03-2015 10:50PM

Probably for the best, but at the end of the day it's your shout, if you're mad about her go for it. Personally the amount of sexual partners she's had would put me off from the get go, whatever about meeting up for some casual sex grand imo, but for me anything more e.g a relationship with girls like that is a no.

Its no different to me than meeting any girl who sleeps around and thinking the maybe she'll change for me scenario, just remember "You can't turn a hoe into a housewife"

.

CK73 · 07-03-2015 10:53PM

fergus1001 wrote: »

I know everyone is different and some lads done mind sharing intimacy but for me it would be highly disrespectful

Everyone is different I except that, but the op was being put in an uncomfortable position by someone who swapped sexual favours for currency and that can't be argued away

I don't think he was there by accident and she offered him discount in exchange for something. He took her up on that without a second thought. It was only when she attempted to take it to the next level that he got scared, but I might add, this was after he took it to the next level and met her out of work and let her meet his family after a night of sex (which she does not sell).

Why couldn't he have realised it was more than he could handle before that? She was honest with him from day one. He was not deceived in anyway.

CK73 · 07-03-2015 10:59PM

mufcboy1999 wrote: »

Probably for the best, but at the end of the day it's your shout, if you're mad about her go for it. Personally the amount of sexual partners she's had would put me off from the get go, whatever about meeting up for some casual sex grand imo, but for me anything more e.g a relationship with girls like that is a no.

Its no different to me than meeting any girl who sleeps around and thinking the maybe she'll change for me scenario, just remember "You can't turn a hoe into a housewife" .

I've not heard that term before. What exactly does it mean?

You see there are many women who offer sexual services for work, as others may work behind a bar and sell alcohol. Selling alcohol does not make you an alcoholic, any more than selling sex makes you a sex maniac that can't be monogamous in a relationship.

Obviously you can't demand that she stops working, but she may not be a sex worker because it is her burning ambition. It might just be a solution to a problem that you can deal with together.

hookers are humans and you may find that they are intelligent human beings, with many good and positive qualities that can be adapted if given the opportunity. Or you might find that sex work is her choice and is more important than a relationship, but then why would she be looking for a relationship if that was the case?

fergus1001 · 07-03-2015 11:02PM

CK73 wrote: »

I don't think he was there by accident and she offered him discount in exchange for something. He took her up on that without a second thought. It was only when she attempted to take it to the next level that he got scared, but I might add, this was after he took it to the next level and met her out of work and let her meet his family after a night of sex (which she does not sell).

Why couldn't he have realised it was more than he could handle before that? She was honest with him from day one. He was not deceived in anyway.

But he was uncomfortable with it end of story

and I believe she does sell sex the op mentioned that above somewhere

For the girl, I'm sorry but it would be nearly impossible to have an intimate relationship and still be giving head ect to others

CK73 · 07-03-2015 11:06PM

fergus1001 wrote: »

But he was uncomfortable with it end of story

and I believe she does sell sex the op mentioned that above somewhere

For the girl, I'm sorry but it would be nearly impossible to have an intimate relationship and still be giving head ect to others

No he said that she would put a condom on to do the oral if it made him feel better about the situation. He never mentioned penetration with anyone else.

If he felt uncomfortable. Why did he go out on a date with her? This is my point. Very convenient that he felt uncomfortable afterwards. If he had any respect for the woman, he would have said no from the start and kept it a business transaction.

Ronin247 · 07-03-2015 11:21PM

CK73 wrote: »

No he said that she would put a condom on to do the oral if it made him feel better about the situation. He never mentioned penetration with anyone else..............

.

Doesnt really matter if she is sucking or f**king, she is a prostitue.

RedemptionZ · 07-03-2015 11:26PM

CK73 wrote: »

Do you still class her as a prostitute, even though she offers massage and a happy ending?

I assume that doesn't involve kissing or her having orgasms or stuff like that, or is it more about thinking she will get an STI that being worried she may want someone else more who is better at sex?

If I'm going out with someone exclusively then I expect sex to be exclusive. I know that it's probably possible to detach any emotions from sex and I'm sure many prostitutes can do that but I'd always feel cheated on in some way. Imagine asking her 'how was work?' when she comes home! Nothing to do with insecurity of her being with someone better, that could easily be the case with anyone who's had a few boyfriends. STI would be a concern but it'd be secondary in terms of the relationship. Again someone who's had a few one night stands could easily be riddled too.

Is this girl a hooker? I don't know I wouldn't consider her to be one if it's just happy endings but tbh I found the OP a little confusing to read so not sure if sex was also offered.

SoftMicro · 07-03-2015 11:26PM

CK73 wrote: »

Was she offering you full sex as a client or as a bf? It does all seem to have happened very fast, but one thing I think you can conclude from this is that she can't possibly be trafficked, as she would not have that flexibility to give free time to guys if she was.

Sounds to me like you chatted and she wanted to be cared for and thought you were the man for the job. I kind of feel sorry for her that she chose someone who seems perhaps not mature enough to have handled the situation.

Thanks for explaining further. In my opinion it all happened way too quickly and it probably didn't have any legs, but I'm sure she may have felt very lonely at times and appreciated that you spoke to her like an equal at first.

The first time was full sex as a client. I didn't go into the 'ins and the outs' per sé so called it 'massage' in the OP. maybe that actually caused the confusion. So it was sex next time at 50% but got if for the coddle. The rest were normal dates.

mufcboy1999 · 07-03-2015 11:43PM

CK73 wrote: »

I've not heard that term before. What exactly does it mean?

You see there are many women who offer sexual services for work, as others may work behind a bar and sell alcohol. Selling alcohol does not make you an alcoholic, any more than selling sex makes you a sex maniac that can't be monogamous in a relationship.

Obviously you can't demand that she stops working, but she may not be a sex worker because it is her burning ambition. It might just be a solution to a problem that you can deal with together.

hookers are humans and you may find that they are intelligent human beings, with many good and positive qualities that can be adapted if given the opportunity. Or you might find that sex work is her choice and is more important than a relationship, but then why would she be looking for a relationship if that was the case?

I agree with some of what you said.

It was more so from the perspective of dating a non hooker/regular girl who also thinks nothing of sleeping around with fellas. They don't do it for money, they do it for the D, but regardless both think nothing of it, money or not. So the comparison of dating a hooker vs a hoe isn't that different of scenario at all.

The quote "You can't turn hoe into a housewife" is much like a leopard can't change his spots e.g. save yourself the hassle of being hurt in the future because she more than likely will sell her body the same way as a hoe will more than likely leave or cheat on you, that's why for girls with this mind frame towards sex can end in disaster.

I'm all about second chances too, I just think this situation is better off dead unless the girl stops what she's doing, out of respect to the OP she should if it's to go further.

SoftMicro · 08-03-2015 12:51AM

I've never put it down in text what went in just chats with words so just to clear up a couple of things. I guess i didn't want to go too much detail in the OP.

We agreed that she would put a condom on her customers bits then giving blowjobs because until then she would give blowjobs without condoms. We didn't really kiss properly until that point...not that it would have made a difference but i guess it was more a psychological thing or something

SoftMicro · 08-03-2015 12:52AM

I wore a condom every time would have sex except for blowjob

fergus1001 · 08-03-2015 01:12AM

SoftMicro wrote: »

I wore a condom every time would have sex except for blowjob

I can easily see how you got pulled in but you made the right decision I think anyway, there are no feeling lingering there ?

I know it sounds bad but it reminds me of the hooker in "a million ways to die in the west"

Baby Jane · 08-03-2015 01:22AM

mufcboy1999 wrote: »

"You can't turn a hoe into a housewife" .

She may be able to turn herself into one though! Seriously, a person who is really promiscuous when young can totally change their outlook when they get older.
But if a person would prefer to be in relationships with people who haven't been really promiscuous, they're entitled to their preference.

mufcboy1999 · 08-03-2015 01:26AM

SoftMicro wrote: »

I've never put it down in text what went in just chats with words so just to clear up a couple of things. I guess i didn't want to go too much detail in the OP.

We agreed that she would put a condom on her customers bits then giving blowjobs because until then she would give blowjobs without condoms. We didn't really kiss properly until that point...not that it would have made a difference but i guess it was more a psychological thing or something

Honestly, give a few of you're mates a ring and head out next weekend. You said you haven't been out much of late so go out and shop around for the next few weeks, try and meet up with another girl. if you do and you're still feeling the same way about the other then sit down and re-analyse it.

SoftMicro · 08-03-2015 01:37AM

mufcboy1999 wrote: »

Honestly, give a few of you're mates a ring and head out next weekend. You said you haven't been out much of late so go out and shop around for the next few weeks, try and meet up with another girl. if you do and you're still feeling the same way about the other then sit down and re-analyse it.

Oh no it's all good now. This happened a couple of years ago. I've got a girlfriend and job with good social life now. Just it is something i think about now and again.

Actually about to break up with the girlfriend and the weirdest thong happened recently was going to post about that but thought this would be better boards thing to post about. I guess just getting stuff out there rather than chatting with the mates is a kind of release or something.

'better thing to post about' as in got the all clear from check up...so the memory surfaced again

recylingbin · 08-03-2015 01:50AM

Did her pimp not like coddle?

SoftMicro · 08-03-2015 01:52AM

recylingbin wrote: »

Did her pimp not like coddle?

no pimp

mufcboy1999 · 08-03-2015 01:54AM

Baby Jane wrote: »

She may be able to turn herself into one though! Seriously, a person who is really promiscuous when young can totally change their outlook when they get older.
But if a person would prefer to be in relationships with people who haven't been really promiscuous, they're entitled to their preference.

Very true. Its just from my own personal experience and from one or two of my friends being with similiar type girls, it is unfortuantly for the best part not the case.

It would take a lot of trust and for most men the taught of you're missus sleeping with several people you know of, not too mention the ones you don't, is a taught that will always be seeded mentally in their head.

And BTW everything that I said can work for both men and women, I don't want to come across sexiest, I'm sure there's plenty of women who might think the same.

Baby Jane · 08-03-2015 01:59AM

Sleeping around is something that tends to have a shelf-life though; a person who is 40 and single is going to have far less opportunities for it than a person who is 23.

recylingbin · 08-03-2015 02:02AM

SoftMicro wrote: »

no pimp

It could have been you. How do you look in fur and gold?

mufcboy1999 · 08-03-2015 02:07AM

Baby Jane wrote: »

Sleeping around is something that tends to have a shelf-life though; a person who is 40 and single is going to have far less opportunities for it than a person who is 23.

True but there's cougers out there, they do exist and they tend to not have any shame either. I think society in general has changed to the point that where this type of thing is deemed normal amongst a lot of people.

The jersey shore generation.

SoftMicro · 08-03-2015 02:19AM

recylingbin wrote: »

It could have been you. How do you look in fur and gold?

pimp that pays in the currency of coddle?

Dated a hooker

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