guest8110 wrote: »
Took a while to post here but here goes.
I can't seem to be happy or get any enjoyment out of things anymore. I mean to say that everyday is a struggle. I have my good days but the bad ones seem to be more frequent lately.
Christmas was the best time of year for me usually but was a disaster. I can't really explain what happened as if it was me or what but I couldn't stay in the parents house after a few hours. That's when I knew for a fact something was not right.
I'm married and have a young family and that's my life. No friends to speak of outside the house. I could easily go 3 or 4 days without a text or a phone call from anybody not within my immediate family. It's really getting me down. I had really good friends but they either moved away or passed away and each time it was a piece of me going too only it took me a few years to figure that out.
My temper got terrible for a while but I seem to just not care anymore about things. I could spend all day inside looking at TV or sit in the field looking at the cattle for hours and not really care. If I manage to start a job it will be finished but it's starting the jobs that are the issue.
I can easily say no one knows what I'm feeling as I can easily conceal it and I notice people are putting it down to me just being grumpy. My head is really muddled and have a constant pain in head the last good while. I'm the youngest farmer in my area and its a struggle as I'm not seen as an equal by many because I'm younger and not part of the "inner circle" so to speak so any chats i might have are all business with my neighbours and no banter or real friendliness. It's just the way they are.
Doctors or that aren't an option for me as my off farm job can look into my medical file at any time and if something like this pops up there is a good chance I would lose my position due to the nature of my work. Can't talk to any of my colleagues. Can't say anything to my wife as she is a worrier and would get wound up and wouldn't help the situation.
Not sure how I'm to sort this out but said I'd take this step anyways and see what becomes of it. Not sure if any of this makes any since as I'm just typing what is going through my head at the minute. Thanks for reading and sorry for the rant.
Base price wrote: »
Agree with the above. Try and talk to a counsellor. It is non of your employers business.
If you can spend time with your children, go for walks and point out different types of birds, trees, plants etc. The fresh air and exercise will do ye all good and the evenings are getting longer.
Best of luck OP.
longgonesilver wrote: »
I am sure that your employer would rather that you looked after yourself. Good luck