2IN2U radio advert

RoboRat · 25-02-2015 10:39AM #1

Anybody else hear that commercial for 2IN2U where they say... If he is telling you what to wear or texting you when you're out, you need to step away as he could be dangerous?

Any woman I have ever been with has always tried to tell me what to wear and kept tabs on me when I am out!

Im not saying that the premise of the advert is wrong but it looks like another shot at blokes in general. The website is all about if he does this, or he does that, you may be in danger. There are plenty of abusive women out there who are also just as dangerous, some are worse, because they know that the public will always side with the woman and use this to their advantage.

I think sites like this need to be gender neutral.

Dravokivich · 25-02-2015 10:43AM

Just set up another'un called CrayCray.

RoboRat · 25-02-2015 10:47AM

Dravokivich wrote: »

Just set up another'un called CrayCray.

Never heard that term before but looked it up... spot on!

kylith · 25-02-2015 10:53AM

It depends. Saying that a different shirt/top would look better is ok, but if it's a case that they're telling you that you can't go out 'dressed like that' then that would be something to worry about.

floggg · 25-02-2015 11:00AM

RoboRat wrote: »

Anybody else hear that commercial for 2IN2U where they say... If he is telling you what to wear or texting you when you're out, you need to step away as he could be dangerous?

Any woman I have ever been with has always tried to tell me what to wear and kept tabs on me when I am out!

Im not saying that the premise of the advert is wrong but it looks like another shot at blokes in general. The website is all about if he does this, or he does that, you may be in danger. There are plenty of abusive women out there who are also just as dangerous, some are worse, because they know that the public will always side with the woman and use this to their advantage.

I think sites like this need to be gender neutral.

Whatever about the clothes, texting a girl when they are out is a sign it abuse now?

****! Does this hold true for men too?

I certainly text my bf when he is out. In fact I text him constantly throughout the day.

Does that make me an abuser? And here was my thinking I was being considerate asking him where he was going and whether he was having fun!

RoboRat · 25-02-2015 11:53AM

I think the clothes thing is a bit of a pandoras box. I am with my wife over 11 years now and when we started going out, I wasn't too pleased about her going out with her single mates in a micro skirt with a low cut top. I never told her to take them off but I did voice my opinion when asked. It was nothing to do with control, it was the fact the I really liked her and I thought it sent the wrong signals.

I wasn't asking her to step into a Burka but when we started going out, I ditched my funny 'pulling' t-shirts and I felt that what she was going out in was 'pulling' clothes. I understand women a lot better now and I know that they just want to look their best and get recognition for it from both women and men.

I think that a lot of young lads are a bit naive and insecure, especially if they are with a woman that they really like. I personally don't think that it shouldn't be broadly categorised that if a bloke is unhappy with your clothes that he is a control freak and being honest, if he doesn't give a toss about what you wear, then he might not be that interested.

qt3.14 · 25-02-2015 12:13PM

kylith wrote: »

It depends. Saying that a different shirt/top would look better is ok, but if it's a case that they're telling you that you can't go out 'dressed like that' then that would be something to worry about.

I worked in a charity shop once upon a time and it was an occasional occurrence for a fella to come in looking for stuff back that the wog had decided he shouldn't wear. A man doing that would light PI forum up like a Christmas tree and justifiably so but women doing it seemed to get hearty approval from my coworkers.

RDM_83 again · 25-02-2015 12:59PM

Basically all this sh-t does is reinforce the stereotypical ideas of keeping it cool, playing hard to get and acting disinterested, if somebodies an actual sociopathic control freak they won't be half this obvious. Telling somebody that wearing a greyhound skirt might not be on isn't the same as being a potential domestic abuser (recently had a conversation with my german flat mate*, if I used the word to describe how she thought some women here dress on a night out I would get carded)

*Least conservative/repressed person you could meet, stoner, free love hippyish type

The_Valeyard · 25-02-2015 01:09PM

Who funds these groups?

catallus · 25-02-2015 01:15PM

The_Valeyard wrote: »

Who funds these groups?

Isis?

keithclancy · 25-02-2015 01:34PM

RoboRat wrote: »

Anybody else hear that commercial for 2IN2U where they say... If he is telling you what to wear or texting you when you're out, you need to step away as he could be dangerous?

Any woman I have ever been with has always tried to tell me what to wear and kept tabs on me when I am out!

Im not saying that the premise of the advert is wrong but it looks like another shot at blokes in general. The website is all about if he does this, or he does that, you may be in danger. There are plenty of abusive women out there who are also just as dangerous, some are worse, because they know that the public will always side with the woman and use this to their advantage.

I think sites like this need to be gender neutral.

And if he lets you go out dressed horribly and doesn't text you to make sure your ok or if you need a lift home he's a pr!ck

What is it with these stupid Irish ads, their so f*cking vague they don't mean anything...

Like the RSA .. EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED ..

Wtf does that sh*t even mean ^^^^^^^

kylith · 25-02-2015 01:57PM

qt3.14 wrote: »

I worked in a charity shop once upon a time and it was an occasional occurrence for a fella to come in looking for stuff back that the wog had decided he shouldn't wear. A man doing that would light PI forum up like a Christmas tree and justifiably so but women doing it seemed to get hearty approval from my coworkers.

It's not about ugly clothes (though I would say that anyone throwing out their bf/gf's clothes because they didn't like them is a cnt), it's about the fact that some people will exert control over their partner by controlling what they can and can't wear, I had a run in with one myself - I wasn't dressed sluttily but I was wearing a relatively low cut top and a cardigan over it and I was told 'You're not going out in that'. He didn't want me to attract attention to myself. I was 'his' so he was the only one who should be looking at me and I was to cover myself whenever I went out. I told him to shove it up his arse and that I'd wear whatever I felt like, but not everyone can do that.

The texting is the same - if your OH is texting you saying they hope you're having a good night and just asking what pub your in or who's out and about then that wouldn't be anything to be concerned about, but a constant stream of texts asking 'Where are you? Who else is there? Is Person X there? What are you doing? When will you be back?' would be worrying; it shows signs of attempts to control where you go and who you associate with.

It does no harm to make people aware of signs that may mean that their OH may be controlling and abusive. I hope there's a similar ad for men to spot the signs of controlling and abusive women.

Bipolar Joe · 25-02-2015 02:02PM

kylith wrote: »

I hope there's a similar ad for men to spot the signs of controlling and abusive women.

There won't be.

The Backwards Man · 25-02-2015 02:03PM

Why'd you come in here looking like that in your high heeled boots and your painted on jeans?

kylith · 25-02-2015 02:09PM

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

There won't be.

Well, there should be.

catallus · 25-02-2015 02:11PM

kylith wrote: »

Well, there should be.

I don't know why there should be.

Surely the idea is to protect women from predators.

Taylor365 · 25-02-2015 02:14PM

kylith wrote: »

The texting is the same - if your OH is texting you saying they hope you're having a good night and just asking what pub your in or who's out and about then that wouldn't be anything to be concerned about, but a constant stream of texts asking 'Where are you? Who else is there? Is Person X there? What are you doing? When will you be back?' would be worrying; it shows signs of attempts to control where you go and who you associate with.

It does no harm to make people aware of signs that may mean that their OH may be controlling and abusive. I hope there's a similar ad for men to spot the signs of controlling and abusive women.

It comes down to interpretation.

I'd see someone texting their OH like that to be insecure and immature, male or female.

If it was my OH, she'd be on her bike! :pac:

I think people who are controlling just picked the wrong partner. Control who you date and you wont need to control anyone.

kylith · 25-02-2015 02:20PM

catallus wrote: »

I don't know why there should be.

Surely the idea is to protect women from predators.

Because men shouldn't be protected from abusive relationships

Taylor365 wrote: »

It comes down to interpretation.

I'd see someone texting their OH like that to be insecure and immature, male or female.

If it was my OH, she'd be on her bike! :pac:

I think people who are controlling just picked the wrong partner. Control who you date and you wont need to control anyone.

Abusive, controlling partners are abusive and controlling. It shouldn't be considered ok for them to do so just because they've landed a gf/bf who is too insecure and lacking in self confidence to realise that they are being controlled. By which I mean: if a guy attempts to tell gf1 that she can't wear her favourite top out because he considers it too revealing and she dumps him, and he meets gf2 who dresses conservatively by inclination he's not going to suddenly turn into a great bf because gf2 buttons her shirts all the way to the top, instead he's likely to move on to controlling what she eats or watches on telly, who she can associate with, that sort of thing.

Sleepy · 25-02-2015 02:21PM

The_Valeyard wrote: »

Who funds these groups?

You do.

I do.

And anyone else paying tax in Ireland does.

The website is branded by Cosc (a Government Department) and Womens Aid, a registered charity that receives funding from a number of Government sources (HSE, DoECLG etc.).

Dog of Tears · 25-02-2015 02:24PM

floggg wrote: »

I certainly text my bf when he is out. In fact I text him constantly throughout the day.

Does that make me an abuser?

No.

Probably makes you rather annoying though.

ash23 · 25-02-2015 02:24PM

Get on to Amen and get them to set up a group designed for young men to recognise when they are in a controlling relationship. There absolutely should be one for young men. But just because there isn't doesn't mean there shouldn't be one for young women.

Bipolar Joe · 25-02-2015 02:32PM

ash23 wrote: »

Get on to Amen and get them to set up a group designed for young men to recognise when they are in a controlling relationship. There absolutely should be one for young men. But just because there isn't doesn't mean there shouldn't be one for young women.

The point is, for me, you can't say "We're all equal!" in one ear and hear "Here's a special thing just for one gender" in the other. It's a stupid dissonance and it drives me so crazy I might just have to text a woman.

razorblunt · 25-02-2015 02:40PM

There should be a male equivalent where lads are encouraged to wear their rugby/football jerseys without being told "where the fock do you think you're going dressed like that, you're not 12".

Just me?

Ah she's great really, if I play my cards right she'll get the ironed on Premier League badges for my Liverpool jersey next season!

catallus · 25-02-2015 02:45PM

kylith wrote: »

Because men shouldn't be protected from abusive relationships

In the real world men take care of themselves.

lazybones32 · 25-02-2015 02:56PM

catallus wrote: »

In the real world men take care of themselves.

In the real world, men can be victims of abuse by women. It's not exclusive to women.

conorhal · 25-02-2015 02:56PM

Taylor365 wrote: »

It comes down to interpretation.

I'd see someone texting their OH like that to be insecure and immature, male or female.

If it was my OH, she'd be on her bike! :pac:

I think people who are controlling just picked the wrong partner. Control who you date and you wont need to control anyone.

Spot on, it's a pointless and horribly subjective campaign.
You can be sure that a partner that's telling sombody what they can and can't wear and texting them relentlessly when they are out are signs that you're dating a psycho, what it doesn't mention is that sombody who acquiesces to that behaviour is sombody that probably suffers from low self esteem and has issues of their own, freaky controlling blokes like to prey on such women. A better use of resources would be equipping such people with the coping skills in life to avoid freaks in the first place.

catallus · 25-02-2015 03:08PM

lazybones32 wrote: »

In the real world, men can be victims of abuse by women...

Well, yes of course, but the question of responsibility for one's own well being is what the OP is talking about, I think.

Like it or not the reality is that men and women are viewed differently in this regard; a man, if he is to be a man, should look out for himself and not allow his emotion to overcome his reason.

biko · 25-02-2015 03:14PM

No, I didn't hear the 2IN2U radio advert. Hope this helps

Dravokivich · 25-02-2015 03:16PM

catallus wrote: »

Well, yes of course, but the question of responsibility for one's own well being is what the OP is talking about, I think.

Like it or not the reality is that men and women are viewed differently in this regard; a man, if he is to be a man, should look out for himself and not allow his emotion to overcome his reason.

Ah stereotypes, is there ever anything they've gotten wrong? right?

kylith · 25-02-2015 03:17PM

catallus wrote: »

Well, yes of course, but the question of responsibility for one's own well being is what the OP is talking about, I think.

Like it or not the reality is that men and women are viewed differently in this regard; a man, if he is to be a man, should look out for himself and not allow his emotion to overcome his reason.

That attitude is the reason why men stay in abusive relationships, and why male suicides vastly outnumber female ones.

RoboRat · 25-02-2015 03:18PM

In the real world men take care of themselves.

As a bloke I am more than able to take care of myself but there is a huge difference when you are dealing with a manipulative woman. Here is a brief synopsis of an incident with an ex who was an manipulative witch.

We were on a work night out for Christmas with my work crowd, she was flirting with all my mates and I mean full on flirting. I was getting a bit annoyed but I knew half of it was to piss me off because she liked playing mind games like that.

Anyhow, we were all staying in a hotel and I end up saying I am going to bed. I was wrecked but I was also sick of her BS, I told her I was heading and she said fine, she was staying up with the lads - 'they're much better craic than you'. We had a heated exchange and I went to bed. She came to the room around 5am and I had a feeling that she was after cheating (later a few mates confirmed that she was getting very close with another guy and they didn't know when she actually left).

Anyhow, that was the straw that broke the camels back and I decided enough was enough. I said that I was sick of her **** and was done with her. She went mental and started hitting me and then started screaming No, don't hit me. She stormed out telling me that she was going to tell everyone we had a huge argument and that I had hit her a few times.

I had to run after her, begging her to stay with me, I had made a mistake etc. I then had to endure a few more months of misery until I left the company and moved to the other side of the country.

I'm not a walkover but I had no idea how to deal with that situation and the cards were well and truly stacked against me and she knew it. There are plenty of controlling women out there but no info such as that website on the tell tale signs nor what to do.

But just because there isn't doesn't mean there shouldn't be one for young women.

Why cant there be an all encompassing site for men and women? Domestic abuse is not gender specific.

2IN2U radio advert

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