6 year old Autistic american child has no friends turn up to his birthday

The Corinthian · 23-02-2015 03:20PM

In the old days this would have all been solved with a letter to Jim'll Fix It.

anncoates · 23-02-2015 03:22PM

Seems a bit strange, to be fair, that everybody invited didn't want to go. Or obviously their parents wouldn't let them go, being the age they are. I've certainly never come across that with my own or friend's kids.

allibastor · 23-02-2015 03:25PM

That is one thing i never understand. The god squad who then ignore any issues in real Life.
in My daughters school there is one kid who likes to be queen bee and is very rude to special needs kids and never correctrd.
every sunday same family are front row at church

suicide_circus · 23-02-2015 03:35PM

You know what happened when I experienced something upsetting as a child?

Nothing.

kylith · 23-02-2015 03:35PM

anncoates wrote: »

Seems a bit strange, to be fair, that everybody invited didn't want to go. Or obviously their parents wouldn't let them go, being the age they are. I've certainly never come across that with my own or friend's kids.

There was never anyone at my birthday parties in primary school who wasn't either related to me or, if in school with me, obligated to go because our mothers were friends.

Even worse is someone inviting everyone in your class; the mentally handicapped girl, the physically handicapped girl, the girl who smelled permanently of wee, but not inviting you.

It was because the girls in my school thought I was weird.

Menas · 23-02-2015 03:36PM

anncoates wrote: »

Seems a bit strange, to be fair, that everybody invited didn't want to go. Or obviously their parents wouldn't let them go, being the age they are. I've certainly never come across that with my own or friend's kids.

For sure we are not getting the full story. Why would no one RSVP? Very odd.

BeerWolf · 23-02-2015 03:38PM

Wait till he's a teenager, have him post on the wall of Facebook that he's having a party over... and sure enough a load of people will come crashing over.... /friends! \o/

23-02-2015 03:42PM

The Corinthian wrote: »

In the old days this would have all been solved with a letter to Jim'll Fix It.

Careful now...

Frog Song · 23-02-2015 03:43PM

Murray007 wrote: »

My son attended a small rural primary school and there were only eight plus him in his class. The routine was to invite the whole class to parties.

A couple of young siblings joined his high infants class mid year. They had been severely neglected/abused, their mother had died in suspicious circumstances, they had health issues and had the language skills of a three year olds. Their heads were shaved by the public health nurse and they wore caps to school so their circumstances were highlighted. They had been cleared to attend school.

Anyhow, my sons birthday comes around and all the class are invited as usual. The mothers asked one of their group to call me and tell me that their children would not come unless I disinvited the two kids. I told them that wasn't going to happen. My son, the two kids and one other, strangely the child of the woman who called me, had a fantantic time at his birthday. I explained to my son what had happened and even at only 6 years old he agreed that I had done the right thing.

Three of the kids in my sons class never attended his birthday again and their mothers still don't talk to me in the street, it was twelve years ago!

A year after the kids arrived in our community their father showed up and took them to the UK, this is the father they lived with before. I still think about those kids regularly and feel what hypocrites those women are when they show up at mass every week looking holier than thou. If there is a God, I hope those kids get a mention at the fork in the road just before the pearly gates.

God that is sad

And pathetic on the other mothers' part. Fair play to you, you did the right thing and gave your son a great lesson in how to treat people.

darkpagandeath · 23-02-2015 03:56PM

Outrage porn again .... Happened to me twice when I was young.

anncoates · 23-02-2015 04:06PM

darkpagandeath wrote: »

Outrage porn again .... Happened to me twice when I was young.

If it hadn't, would your username be WonderfulTheistLife?

ancapailldorcha · 23-02-2015 04:35PM

Murray007 wrote: »

A year after the kids arrived in our community their father showed up and took them to the UK, this is the father they lived with before. I still think about those kids regularly and feel what hypocrites those women are when they show up at mass every week looking holier than thou. If there is a God, I hope those kids get a mention at the fork in the road just before the pearly gates.

My aunt once told me that she knew many churchgoers but few Christians. Wise woman.

23-02-2015 04:41PM

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

My aunt once told me that she knew many churchgoers but few Christians. Wise woman.

A favourite saying of my Grans too.

Baggy Trousers · 23-02-2015 04:45PM

whiskeyman wrote: »

An invite isn't a requirement to attend.
There's obviously a reason they didn't show up.

Oh yes?

Pumpkinseeds · 23-02-2015 04:59PM

Baggy Trousers wrote: »

Oh yes?

Well yes, there's clearly more to the story. None of the 16 kids invited attended and none of the parents rsvp'd. That speaks volumes. People are assuming that the kids non attendance is due to parental bias against autism. Frankly, I think that's just the mothers excuse. Why even bring the autism into it other than sympathy whoring? If she hadn't mentioned autism and epilepsy very few people would have cared. I wonder what the parents of the other kids would have to say about it. Anyway, how many kids are friends just because they're in the same class? An invitation to a party doesn't obligate anyone to attend or reply.

The fact that nobody attended and nobody notified the mother means that nobody wanted anything to do with her or the party.

23-02-2015 05:09PM

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

The fact that nobody attended and nobody notified the mother means that nobody wanted anything to do with her or the party.

Or maybe it simply means that they're bad mannered.

Let's not pile all the blame on the mother who simply put up a facebook post and had it snowball from there. The fact is nobody knows the reason why no one attended other than the no shows themselves.

Menas · 23-02-2015 05:12PM

Candie wrote: »

Or maybe it simply means that they're bad mannered.

Let's not pile all the blame on the mother who simply put up a facebook post and had it snowball from there. The fact is nobody knows the reason why no one attended other than the no shows themselves.

It was not a normal facebook post to your friends. It was a local Ranting and Raving FB page with 10,000 followers.
As good as taking out an advert in the local paper.

23-02-2015 05:15PM

Trigger Happy wrote: »

It was not a normal facebook post to your friends. It was a local Ranting and Raving FB page with 10,000 followers.
As good as taking out an advert in the local paper.

If people didn't want to go they should have rsvp'd as manners dictate. The mother could have made another arrangement for the kids birthday and given him or her a good day out.

People aren't obliged to go but its poor form to not bother to let them know, and that's down to them, not the mother.

Menas · 23-02-2015 05:16PM

Candie wrote: »

If people didn't want to go they should have rsvp'd as manners dictate. The mother could have made another arrangement for the kids birthday and given him or her a good day out.

People aren't obliged to go but its poor form to not bother to let them know, and that's down to them, not the mother.

I completely agree with you on the RSVP...it is very bad manners.

I was just pointing out that the mother did not simply make a FB post as you stated, but did it on a ranting and raving group page with 10,000 followers.

Tombi! · 23-02-2015 05:17PM

Trigger Happy wrote: »

I completely agree with you on the RSVP...it is very bad manners.
I was just pointing out that the mother did not simply make a FB post to her friends but did it on a group page with 10,000 followers.

Well, if it's a page for ranting and raving then what's the harm? She did use it for its intended function, no?

Menas · 23-02-2015 05:21PM

Brutal Deluxe wrote: »

Well, if it's a page for ranting and raving then what's the harm? She did use it for its intended function, no?

Yes, and that is my point- I am not criticising her! There is a big difference between simply posting to friends on FB and posting on a page with 10,000 followers.

Tombi! · 23-02-2015 05:22PM

Ah, fair enough; I misunderstood.

Pumpkinseeds · 23-02-2015 05:23PM

Candie wrote: »

Or maybe it simply means that they're bad mannered.

Let's not pile all the blame on the mother who simply put up a facebook post and had it snowball from there. The fact is nobody knows the reason why no one attended other than the no shows themselves.

I've a feeling that the mother knows exactly why they didn't attend. If we were talking about 16 kids who wanted to attend a friends birthday party but who were prevented from doing so by parents who don't want their kids associating with an epileptic autistic kid then I would say the parents should hang their heads in shame. I just don't think that's what went on there. Of course it's possible that the other parents are just awful human beings, but I doubt it. As you say, the other parents know why they didn't attend.;)

stoneill · 23-02-2015 05:25PM

250 people turned up at some young wan's 16th and they were complaining. You just can't win.

allibastor · 23-02-2015 05:25PM

Does it matter where she posted?

I would imagine also if there was some genuine reason for the no shows those posts would have gone up also in defence of themselves

allibastor · 23-02-2015 05:27PM

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

I've a feeling that the mother knows exactly why they didn't attend. If we were talking about 16 kids who wanted to attend a friends birthday party but who were prevented from doing so by parents who don't want their kids associating with an epileptic autistic kid then I would say the parents should hang their heads in shame. I just don't think that's what went on there. Of course it's possible that the other parents are just awful human beings, but I doubt it. As you say, the other parents know why they didn't attend.;)

Parents have a habit of not wanting thier kids to play with other kids with problems, in case their own kids are labelled by proxy

darkpagandeath · 23-02-2015 05:34PM

allibastor wrote: »

Does it matter where she posted?

I would imagine also if there was some genuine reason for the no shows those posts would have gone up also in defence of themselves

Why ? Since when are you accountable to answer some randomers kids party invite ? If they don't want to go they don't want to go end of. The poor me angle does not really wash with me. I mean it's gotten to the stage now idiots find themselves in idiot situations, They open crowed funding as if we are responsible for there problem.

Bit off topic but meh it all falls under Poor me.

23-02-2015 05:34PM

They still could have had the manners to rsvp, not doing so is not a reflection on the childs mother since the other parents certainly know that the person who would suffer most is the epileptic, autistic child.

I don't care why they didn't go, or how horrible the mother might be, if people don't want their kids at the party that's fair enough, but letting the parents know you're not coming means they can do something else for the kids birthday. It's just the decent thing to do.

allibastor · 23-02-2015 05:39PM

darkpagandeath wrote: »

Why ? Since when are you accountable to answer some randomers kids party invite ? If they don't want to go they don't want to go end of. The poor me angle does not really wash with me. I mean it's gotten to the stage now idiots find themselves in idiot situations, The open crowed funding as if we are responsible for there problem.

Bit off topic but meh it all falls under Poor me.

Have you kids. Or manners.

If you have either you will know why its important to let someone know by rsvp.

The kid may be satan incarnate, or the family complete nutcases, but no kid deservses that

Colser · 23-02-2015 05:41PM

Candie wrote: »

They still could have had the manners to rsvp, not doing so is not a reflection on the childs mother since the other parents certainly know that the person who would suffer most is the epileptic, autistic child.

I don't care why they didn't go, or how horrible the mother might be, if people don't want their kids at the party that's fair enough, but letting the parents know you're not coming means they can do something else for the kids birthday. It's just the decent thing to do.

Thats the bit that makes me feel Pumpkin is right..Id find it very hard to believe that 16 parents just wouldnt RSVP..Could there have been another party on that this child want invited to I wonder? I find that while people may not RSVP that they are attending most do when they know that they wont be there (at least thats what I do).

6 year old Autistic american child has no friends turn up to his birthday

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