6 year old Autistic american child has no friends turn up to his birthday

allibastor

I read this the other day, actually made me sick thinking about it. Dont know How to post a link on mobile.

Would you really not make contact with a child to rsvp or not

rawn

No one turned up to my 10th birthday, i must have forgotten to alert the media.

AgileMyth

I'm really popular. A whole pub full of people came to my birthday last year. I didn't even know most of them.

gozunda

allibastor wrote: »

I read this the other day, actually made me sick thinking about it. Dont know How to post a link on mobile.

Would you really not make contact with a child to rsvp or not

Here you go

http://m.nydailynews.com/news/national/facebook-post-turns-autistic-boy-birthday-frowns-smile-article-1.2124313#bmb=1


Looks like it worked out ok

SEPT 23 1989

the other kids parents should be ashamed of themselves

well done to the locals showing proper community spirit giving the kid a birthday he will never forget

whiskeyman

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

the other kids parents should be ashamed of themselves

An invite isn't a requirement to attend.
There's obviously a reason they didn't show up.

I'd more blame the parents of the kid who sent out the invites.
They should know who their son is friends with or not, and why.... and then set realistic expectations.

seamus

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

the other kids parents should be ashamed of themselves

Why?

If I got an invite from the parent of some kid I didn't know and that my child didn't regard as a friend, then we wouldn't go to the party.

It's become pretty standard now to have a rule of "invite everyone or invite no-one" in schools, so it may have become standard to just ignore invites when your child is not a friend of the child concerned.

In this case I suspect the parent set expectations far too high and assumed that people would attend when an invite was sent out.

It's likely none of the other parents were aware that nobody else was planning on going.

AudreyHepburn

whiskeyman wrote: »

An invite isn't a requirement to attend.
There's obviously a reason they didn't show up.

I'd more blame the parents of the kid who sent out the invites.
They should know who their son is friends with or not, and why.... and then set realistic expectations.

That's missing the point entirely.

One or two may have had genuine reasons for not coming but all sixteen? No way.

And to not even RSVP is the height of rudeness.

4zn76tysfajdxp

AudreyHepburn wrote: »

One or two may have had genuine reasons for not coming but all sixteen? No way.

What if they just don't like him? Wouldn't that be a genuine enough reason?

Duckworth_Luas

Should have posted the invite up on Facebook, loads of people would have turned up!

Canis Lupus

Amia Strong Surfboard wrote: »

What if they just don't like him? Wouldn't that be a genuine enough reason?

You can't dislike a child with autism. It wouldn't be PC.

SpaceSasqwatch

gozunda wrote: »

http://m.nydailynews.com/news/national/facebook-post-turns-autistic-boy-birthday-frowns-smile-article-1.2124313#bmb=1

Faith in humanity restored.

Laois_Man

So what's the mother gonna do next year?

Invite actors?

StormWarrior

No doubt soon it will be considered a hate crime against the disabled not to go to an autistic child's party.

StormWarrior

Btw it didn't say that they just didn't turn up. It said the mother informed her son that none of them would be coming. That means they must have let her know in advance that they weren't coming. And it's unfair to blame the other parents for not bringing the kids. We have no idea why they didn't go. Maybe the mother didn't give them enough notice or maybe the child is a violent bully. We really have no idea what has gone on.

Pumpkinseeds

Why is this even a story A lot of people assuming that people didn't attend the party because of the kids autism. Hell of a leap to make, he could be a total nightmare, or so could his parents. Christ, how did we all survive pre Facebook pity parties?. There's more to this story than meets the eye.

kneemos

OMG I'm so caring I'm in floods of tears.

anncoates

The mother's apparent, er, zealous approach to these things might partly explain the no shows.

anncoates

StormWarrior wrote: »

No doubt soon it will be considered a hate crime against the disabled not to go to an autistic child's party.

Only in a world solely constructed on the whims and principles of AH, perhaps.

kneemos

Anybody use the terrorist word yet?

It seems that an invitation has now acquired the status of a legal summons.

In all fairness, from reading the article the mother posted “I know this might be something silly to rant about, but my heart is breaking for my son. We invited his whole class (16 kids) over for his 6th birthday party today. Not one kid came.” on her own personal facebook page.

It was people who read that that shared it and caused all the rest to happen and I'm sure the media caught wind of it and made it a big deal. From the info given there the mother just vented on facebook and nothing more, it's not like she rang the local news station and all the newspapers and asked them to run it as a story. It was a case of a perfectly simple and acceptable facebook status going viral.

And no, it's not a requirement to show up to a party you've been invited to, but it's nice to let the person know if you're not going to make it. It's basic manners tbh.

Buona Fortuna

^^^^^^

Well done Woops

We miss ya

/thread

MarkR

I do feel for the parents. My son is on the spectrum, and I can imagine he'll have trouble in later years making friends. If I was his parent though, you can be damn sure I would have done a ring around to find out what was happening if I hadn't any one RSVP'ing.

As mentioned above, kid may be a dick. Party could have been scheduled in a scab museum. Class of 16 kids, I assume it was a special needs class, so maybe it just didn't suit the kids to go.

anncoates

It is true though that so many parents don't RSVP to party invitations even if you put a mobile number on the invitation.

kneemos

Sad in fairness,whatever the reasons.

keithclancy

http://www.rentacrowd.com/


FTW

Egginacup

Surprised George Zimmerman didn't show up and stage some daring rescue of a kid from a blazing bouncy castle.

Menas

A bit more detail on this. http://www.aroundosceola.com/?p=14933

“From the minute he woke up that day he wanted to know how many minutes until his friends came. None of the kids’ parents RSVP’d, but I was still holding on to the hope that some of them would show up. It never crossed my mind that it would be zero,”his mom, Ashlee Buratti said.
Glenn’s eyes filled with tears when she finally told him that his classmates weren’t coming.
“He’s really sensitive,” Ashlee said, adding that Glenn has epilepsy and a mild formof autism.
When the birthday boy retreated into play with his older sister, Ashlee took a few minutes to process her frustration on Facebook. Her post on Osceola Rants Raves & Reviews List, a locally run page with more than 10,000 members, changed everything.
“I just wanted to vent to other parents who maybe had been through the same thing,” said Buratti, 25, a native of Kansas who graduated from St. Cloud High School in 2008.
She couldn’t figure out why none of Glenn’s classmates could make it to his party.
“I know this might be something silly to rant about, but my heart is breaking for my son. We invited his whole class (16 kids) over for his 6th birthday party today. Not one kid came,” she posted.

allibastor

It is the posting that makes it Sad, i mean even if the kid was a Dick, all 16 not going and then not bothering to call back even is a bit much.

Murray007

My son attended a small rural primary school and there were only eight plus him in his class. The routine was to invite the whole class to parties.

A couple of young siblings joined his high infants class mid year. They had been severely neglected/abused, their mother had died in suspicious circumstances, they had health issues and had the language skills of a three year olds. Their heads were shaved by the public health nurse and they wore caps to school so their circumstances were highlighted. They had been cleared to attend school.

Anyhow, my sons birthday comes around and all the class are invited as usual. The mothers asked one of their group to call me and tell me that their children would not come unless I disinvited the two kids. I told them that wasn't going to happen. My son, the two kids and one other, strangely the child of the woman who called me, had a fantantic time at his birthday. I explained to my son what had happened and even at only 6 years old he agreed that I had done the right thing.

Three of the kids in my sons class never attended his birthday again and their mothers still don't talk to me in the street, it was twelve years ago!

A year after the kids arrived in our community their father showed up and took them to the UK, this is the father they lived with before. I still think about those kids regularly and feel what hypocrites those women are when they show up at mass every week looking holier than thou. If there is a God, I hope those kids get a mention at the fork in the road just before the pearly gates.

The Corinthian

In the old days this would have all been solved with a letter to Jim'll Fix It.

anncoates

Seems a bit strange, to be fair, that everybody invited didn't want to go. Or obviously their parents wouldn't let them go, being the age they are. I've certainly never come across that with my own or friend's kids.

allibastor

That is one thing i never understand. The god squad who then ignore any issues in real Life.
in My daughters school there is one kid who likes to be queen bee and is very rude to special needs kids and never correctrd.
every sunday same family are front row at church

suicide_circus

You know what happened when I experienced something upsetting as a child?

Nothing.

kylith

anncoates wrote: »

Seems a bit strange, to be fair, that everybody invited didn't want to go. Or obviously their parents wouldn't let them go, being the age they are. I've certainly never come across that with my own or friend's kids.

There was never anyone at my birthday parties in primary school who wasn't either related to me or, if in school with me, obligated to go because our mothers were friends.

Even worse is someone inviting everyone in your class; the mentally handicapped girl, the physically handicapped girl, the girl who smelled permanently of wee, but not inviting you.

It was because the girls in my school thought I was weird.

Menas

anncoates wrote: »

Seems a bit strange, to be fair, that everybody invited didn't want to go. Or obviously their parents wouldn't let them go, being the age they are. I've certainly never come across that with my own or friend's kids.

For sure we are not getting the full story. Why would no one RSVP? Very odd.

BeerWolf

Wait till he's a teenager, have him post on the wall of Facebook that he's having a party over... and sure enough a load of people will come crashing over.... /friends! \o/

Omackeral

The Corinthian wrote: »

In the old days this would have all been solved with a letter to Jim'll Fix It.

Careful now...

Frog Song

Murray007 wrote: »

My son attended a small rural primary school and there were only eight plus him in his class. The routine was to invite the whole class to parties.

A couple of young siblings joined his high infants class mid year. They had been severely neglected/abused, their mother had died in suspicious circumstances, they had health issues and had the language skills of a three year olds. Their heads were shaved by the public health nurse and they wore caps to school so their circumstances were highlighted. They had been cleared to attend school.

Anyhow, my sons birthday comes around and all the class are invited as usual. The mothers asked one of their group to call me and tell me that their children would not come unless I disinvited the two kids. I told them that wasn't going to happen. My son, the two kids and one other, strangely the child of the woman who called me, had a fantantic time at his birthday. I explained to my son what had happened and even at only 6 years old he agreed that I had done the right thing.

Three of the kids in my sons class never attended his birthday again and their mothers still don't talk to me in the street, it was twelve years ago!

A year after the kids arrived in our community their father showed up and took them to the UK, this is the father they lived with before. I still think about those kids regularly and feel what hypocrites those women are when they show up at mass every week looking holier than thou. If there is a God, I hope those kids get a mention at the fork in the road just before the pearly gates.

God that is sad And pathetic on the other mothers' part. Fair play to you, you did the right thing and gave your son a great lesson in how to treat people.

darkpagandeath

Outrage porn again .... Happened to me twice when I was young.

anncoates

darkpagandeath wrote: »

Outrage porn again .... Happened to me twice when I was young.

If it hadn't, would your username be WonderfulTheistLife?

ancapailldorcha

Murray007 wrote: »

A year after the kids arrived in our community their father showed up and took them to the UK, this is the father they lived with before. I still think about those kids regularly and feel what hypocrites those women are when they show up at mass every week looking holier than thou. If there is a God, I hope those kids get a mention at the fork in the road just before the pearly gates.

My aunt once told me that she knew many churchgoers but few Christians. Wise woman.

ancapailldorcha

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

My aunt once told me that she knew many churchgoers but few Christians. Wise woman.

A favourite saying of my Grans too.

Baggy Trousers

whiskeyman wrote: »

An invite isn't a requirement to attend.
There's obviously a reason they didn't show up.

Oh yes?

Pumpkinseeds

Baggy Trousers wrote: »

Oh yes?

Well yes, there's clearly more to the story. None of the 16 kids invited attended and none of the parents rsvp'd. That speaks volumes. People are assuming that the kids non attendance is due to parental bias against autism. Frankly, I think that's just the mothers excuse. Why even bring the autism into it other than sympathy whoring? If she hadn't mentioned autism and epilepsy very few people would have cared. I wonder what the parents of the other kids would have to say about it. Anyway, how many kids are friends just because they're in the same class? An invitation to a party doesn't obligate anyone to attend or reply.

The fact that nobody attended and nobody notified the mother means that nobody wanted anything to do with her or the party.

Pumpkinseeds

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

The fact that nobody attended and nobody notified the mother means that nobody wanted anything to do with her or the party.

Or maybe it simply means that they're bad mannered.

Let's not pile all the blame on the mother who simply put up a facebook post and had it snowball from there. The fact is nobody knows the reason why no one attended other than the no shows themselves.

Menas

Candie wrote: »

Or maybe it simply means that they're bad mannered.

Let's not pile all the blame on the mother who simply put up a facebook post and had it snowball from there. The fact is nobody knows the reason why no one attended other than the no shows themselves.

It was not a normal facebook post to your friends. It was a local Ranting and Raving FB page with 10,000 followers.
As good as taking out an advert in the local paper.

Trigger Happy

Trigger Happy wrote: »

It was not a normal facebook post to your friends. It was a local Ranting and Raving FB page with 10,000 followers.
As good as taking out an advert in the local paper.

If people didn't want to go they should have rsvp'd as manners dictate. The mother could have made another arrangement for the kids birthday and given him or her a good day out.

People aren't obliged to go but its poor form to not bother to let them know, and that's down to them, not the mother.

Menas

Candie wrote: »

If people didn't want to go they should have rsvp'd as manners dictate. The mother could have made another arrangement for the kids birthday and given him or her a good day out.

People aren't obliged to go but its poor form to not bother to let them know, and that's down to them, not the mother.

I completely agree with you on the RSVP...it is very bad manners.
I was just pointing out that the mother did not simply make a FB post as you stated, but did it on a ranting and raving group page with 10,000 followers.

Tombi!

Trigger Happy wrote: »

I completely agree with you on the RSVP...it is very bad manners.
I was just pointing out that the mother did not simply make a FB post to her friends but did it on a group page with 10,000 followers.

Well, if it's a page for ranting and raving then what's the harm? She did use it for its intended function, no?