Etiquette on public transport

Precious flower · 21-02-2015 12:27PM

I get the bus every day to college and one thing that really grates on me is people at the back of the bus rushing to the front once the bus stops, let the people at the front get off first and work down. Also, I put my bag on the seat because I spend two hours commuting everyday and sometimes I like to have the two seats and prefer to have the bag out of the way then beside my feet. However, that's not to say if the bus isn't filling up I won't move it but I'll wait until someone asks usually. I mean I'm not some scary monster someone just has to ask to sit there and I'll move it. Oh, and people who play their music out of crappy headphones and know that other people can hear there music playing!! Hate that so much!

Ososlo · 21-02-2015 12:38PM

Precious flower wrote: »

I get the bus every day to college and one thing that really grates on me is people at the back of the bus rushing to the front once the bus stops, let the people at the front get off first and work down. Also, I put my bag on the seat because I spend two hours commuting everyday and sometimes I like to have the two seats and prefer to have the bag out of the way then beside my feet. However, that's not to say if the bus isn't filling up I won't move it but I'll wait until someone asks usually. I mean I'm not some scary monster someone just has to ask to sit there and I'll move it. Oh, and people who play their music out of crappy headphones and know that other people can hear there music playing!! Hate that so much!

Why should someone have to ask you to move your bag? I think it's very rude to have your bag on the seat unless the bus is empty. Height of ignorance. It's very off putting to have to ask and I see people all the time avoiding asking and going back downstairs and standing and this leads to others not going upstairs and the bus clogging up when there are actually vacant seats.
Remove your bag kindly the next time.

Pinch Flat · 21-02-2015 12:44PM

Have to say bags on seat I find most annoying.

LilRedDorcha · 21-02-2015 12:49PM

If everyone has taken their seats and the bus has left, I sometimes keep my bag on the seat next to me. However, whenever I see the bus coming to a stop I'll put the bag on my lap or on the floor before anyone even gets on the bus so they can see that the seat is free. I normally keep my bag on the floor anyway but I sometimes like having the handbag next to me. I'd never put someone in the position of having to ask me to move my bag.

Grayson · 21-02-2015 12:58PM

This morning my bag was on the seat next to me all the way to work. The carriage probably only had 10 people in it.

bnt · 21-02-2015 01:04PM

Re the OP's complaint about people standing near the door: I have to do that when the LUAS is going to be really packed. If I don't, then I can't get off at my stop. If I know I'm getting off at the last stop (e.g. St. Stephen's Green)l, then I move in as far as possible. My point is just that people who don't move down all the way aren't necessarily being difficult, it's sometimes necessary.

My personal complaint about the LUAS: people with bags on their shouders or backs, taking up the space of two people. Put the bag down by your feet, where there's more space.

Lapin · 21-02-2015 05:11PM

MarkY91 wrote: »

I see it happening on a regular basis

In Amsterdam or Dublin ?

21-02-2015 05:15PM

I put my bag on the seat sometimes if I think the bus is gonna be empty but if someone pauses slightly beside it I'll have it down in a jiffy

Birneybau · 21-02-2015 05:15PM

Precious flower wrote: »

I get the bus every day to college and one thing that really grates on me is people at the back of the bus rushing to the front once the bus stops, let the people at the front get off first and work down. Also, I put my bag on the seat because I spend two hours commuting everyday and sometimes I like to have the two seats and prefer to have the bag out of the way then beside my feet. However, that's not to say if the bus isn't filling up I won't move it but I'll wait until someone asks usually. I mean I'm not some scary monster someone just has to ask to sit there and I'll move it. Oh, and people who play their music out of crappy headphones and know that other people can hear there music playing!! Hate that so much!

Precious Flower indeed. That and people sitting n the outside seat from the onset do my fecking head in.

Ken. · 21-02-2015 05:18PM

As Jimmy Carr said, I'd rather see a pregnant woman standing than a fat woman crying.

mohawk · 21-02-2015 05:36PM

It really bugs me when I am getting off a busy Luas in Stephen's green and people try to force their way on. Let people off before you get on!!!!

When a rather large person sits next to you and you end up squished against the window.

Also people sitting next to me when there are loads of empty seats. It is creepy and weird.

Tarzana2 · 21-02-2015 06:00PM

Precious flower wrote: »

Also, I put my bag on the seat because I spend two hours commuting everyday and sometimes I like to have the two seats and prefer to have the bag out of the way then beside my feet. However, that's not to say if the bus isn't filling up I won't move it but I'll wait until someone asks usually. I mean I'm not some scary monster someone just has to ask to sit there and I'll move it.

Yeah, the bags on seats thing isn't the big deal people make out, most people are happy to move their bag and will do so once they see that the bus/carriage is filling up. As said earlier in the thread, some of us like to avoid putting our bags on the ground on public transport as it's often filthy. So they put the bag next to them or on their lap if the seat is needed.

Getting someone to move their bag in an nearly empty space just to spite them is a needless and passive-aggressive move. Why? Just why?

bodice ripper · 21-02-2015 06:05PM

MarkY91 wrote: »

I see it happening on a regular basis

Where are you? Because I certainly don't.

Ososlo · 21-02-2015 06:08PM

Tarzana2 wrote: »

Yeah, the bags on seats thing isn't the big deal people make out, most people are happy to move their bag and will do so once they see that the bus/carriage is filling up. As said earlier in the thread, some of us like to avoid putting our bags on the ground on public transport as it's often filthy. So they put the bag next to them or on their lap if the seat is needed.

Getting someone to move their bag in an nearly empty space just to spite them is a needless and passive-aggressive move. Why? Just why?

It is a big deal because it's really rude and most of us abhor rudeness.
Put your bag on your lap like everyone else if it's small. If it's big it should be in the luggage area.
Most people with bags on the seats are also wearing headphones and oblivious to surroundings so are we supposed to tap them gently on the arm and plead to some better part of their nature to do what any reasonable human being would automatically do and put their fcuking bag on their lap.
It's fine if the bus is next to empty but once there is a single person filling up all the seats around you then move the damn bag.

Precious flower · 21-02-2015 06:08PM

Ososlo wrote: »

Why should someone have to ask you to move your bag? I think it's very rude to have your bag on the seat unless the bus is empty. Height of ignorance. It's very off putting to have to ask and I see people all the time avoiding asking and going back downstairs and standing and this leads to others not going upstairs and the bus clogging up when there are actually vacant seats.
Remove your bag kindly the next time.

If there are two or three seats left I take my bag off the seat, but I won't apologise about the fact that I would prefer if someone sat next to someone else other than me. And mostly my bag is up there for ease of access so I don't have to be pulling it up from the floor every time I need something. Having it on the floor makes it feel cramped too. I'm not an unkind person, if have to ask people whether I can sit beside them too and for them to remove their bag and I don't feel they are being ignorant as every single person will remove there bag if asked. The bus I get isn't a double decker so that's not a situation that arises, everyone has to sit down.

seventeen sheep · 21-02-2015 06:11PM

hollster2 wrote: »

That happened to me 7 months pregnant stood for 20 minutes I looked ahead didnt look for pity not on person offered me a seat plus I nearly fell, id give my seat up for anyone who needed it!

Why make yourself miserable?

When I was pregnant, I was a lot more comfortable sitting rather than standing. So, yeah, I'd make a point of taking off my coat and holding my bump, just in case anyone was in doubt. We'd all hate to inadvertently offer a non-pregnant fat lady a seat, but if someone is actually holding their bump, there's not much doubt there! I was almost always offered a seat (which I'd accept gratefully) within a couple of minutes of getting onto the packed train.

I'd also have asked for a seat if not offered one - this rarely happened, but people were happy to oblige any time I asked.

B.A._Baracus · 21-02-2015 06:12PM

People putting their bag/rugsack/whatever beside the window seat, while they sit on the ailse seat on Dublin Bus. It's a total "I want both seats" ... urgh.

There is nothing wrong with a person seating by the window and putting something on the other seat. Can easily be moved if someone needs to sit down. But the reverse way is just pure ignorant.

Tarzana2 · 21-02-2015 06:18PM

Ososlo wrote: »

It is a big deal because it's really rude and most of us abhor rudeness.
Put your bag on your lap like everyone else if it's small.

When I see that the space is filling up, I'll move it onto my lap. Until this point, I don't see the issue, and if someone is bothered about it when there are lots of seats, I'd suggest they unclench. That is LOOKING for things to get annoyed about.

Precious flower · 21-02-2015 06:19PM

Birneybau wrote: »

Precious Flower indeed. That and people sitting n the outside seat from the onset do my fecking head in.

Very funny. Putting your bag beside you on the seat is not rude. As I explained I don't like it on the floor beside me for ease of access and so I don't feel cramped. Everyone does it on the bus I frequent. I would also like to point out I don't wear headphones and I can easily see if someone is thinking of sitting next to me and I put my bag down. I often have to ask people to do the same thing and I don't they are being ignorant. But like I said I commute for two hours every day for the last 4 years so I would rather someone sit somewhere else if there are more than six seats available than be cramped in next to me. However, if they want to sit beside me I will drop the bag no problem and will certainly drop it down if there are only a few seats available. People sitting n the outside I don't agree with I feel that sends a direct message of 'don't sit beside me' rather than a school bag on the seat.

Ososlo · 21-02-2015 06:24PM

Precious flower wrote: »

Very funny. Putting your bag beside you on the seat is not rude. As I explained I don't like it on the floor beside me for ease of access and so I don't feel cramped. Everyone does it on the bus I frequent. I would also like to point out I don't wear headphones and I can easily see if someone is thinking of sitting next to me and I put my bag down. I often have to ask people to do the same thing and I don't they are being ignorant. But like I said I commute for two hours every day for the last 4 years so I would rather someone sit somewhere else if there are more than six seats available than be cramped in next to me. However, if they want to sit beside me I will drop the bag no problem and will certainly drop it down if there are only a few seats available. People sitting n the outside I don't agree with I feel that sends a direct message of 'don't sit beside me' rather than a school bag on the seat.

To me and everyone else I've spoken to about it, seeing a bag on a seat sends out the exact message of 'don't sit besides me'. So armed with this newfound information,would you consider not doing it anymore? You also just said you'd rather people not sit beside you so more than likely you look annoyed when people do ask!

bnt · 21-02-2015 06:29PM

Precious flower wrote: »

Very funny. Putting your bag beside you on the seat is not rude. As I explained I don't like it on the floor beside me for ease of access and so I don't feel cramped. Everyone does it on the bus I frequent. I would also like to point out I don't wear headphones and I can easily see if someone is thinking of sitting next to me and I put my bag down. I often have to ask people to do the same thing and I don't they are being ignorant.

I still think that it shouldn't be necessary to ask, in general i.e. that etiquette includes knowing the right thing to do without being asked.

I'm not interested in getting in to any kind of discussion with a stranger on public transport. Asking someone to move their bag is annoying already, but even more so if the other person doesn't get it, asks "why", and puts you in the position of having to explain basic etiquette to a stranger on public transport! :rolleyes:

Strumms · 21-02-2015 06:30PM

Kids kicking the **** out of your seat from behind while parent watches and says nothing and then has a face on them when you turn around and ask them to stop it. Happens a lot on planes for some reason.

My train peave despite many previous mentioned ones is when you are at a table and a business person presumably sits down opposite, opens laptop, takes out folder, sandwich, newspaper, phone, plugs in charger and all of a sudden you are reading your book up at your chin. Errr no get the **** outta my space. C*nt.

sunshine and showers · 21-02-2015 06:33PM

This is getting way too nit-picky.

If there are loads of free seats, a bag on the outside seat beside you is totally grand.

If you want your bag on the seat, you keep an eye on the capacity of the bus. Once free seats get down to a handful, you move your bag to the floor.

Simples!

Precious flower · 21-02-2015 06:34PM

Ososlo wrote: »

To me and everyone else I've spoken to about it, seeing a bag on a seat sends out the exact message of 'don't sit besides me'. So armed with this newfound information,would you consider not doing it anymore? You also just said you'd rather people not sit beside you so more than likely you look annoyed when people do ask!

Well that's funny because people still manage to sit beside the 5ft scary 22 year old girl with the big intimating bag beside her much to my dismay! I can tell you I don't look annoyed unless my normal face gives off otherwise which I would hop it doesn't. I certainly don't intend to give off that vibe. If they want to sit beside me, great, no problem. If they pass by me and sit beside someone else that's great too! I like my space but I won't huff and puff and glare at someone if they ask to sit beside me, I'll smile and say "Yeah, of course".

bnt · 21-02-2015 06:35PM

Forbes has a decent article with 27 modern rules of etiquette. Before the start of the list, though, we have this:

You’ll notice a common denominator in all of them: Think about other people’s feelings first because it’s not all about maximizing your personal convenience.

Tarzana2 · 21-02-2015 06:35PM

Ososlo wrote: »

To me and everyone else I've spoken to about it, seeing a bag on a seat sends out the exact message of 'don't sit besides me'.

Even if the bus/carriage is nearly empty or half full only.

Strange.

Ososlo · 21-02-2015 06:39PM

Tarzana2 wrote: »

Even if the bus/carriage is nearly empty or half full only. Strange.

Nope I said already... the minute there are single people filling up all the seats around you or a bit before that if it looks reasonably busy.

Ososlo · 21-02-2015 06:42PM

Precious flower wrote: »

Well that's funny because people still manage to sit beside the 5ft scary 22 year old girl with the big intimating bag beside her much to my dismay! I can tell you I don't look annoyed unless my normal face gives off otherwise which I would hop it doesn't. I certainly don't intend to give off that vibe. If they want to sit beside me, great, no problem. If they pass by me and sit beside someone else that's great too! I like my space but I won't huff and puff and glare at someone if they ask to sit beside me, I'll smile and say "Yeah, of course".

There shouldn't have to be any conversation between you and another bus user. If the bus looks to be reasonably busy, move the bag before they have to ask.

Rough Sleeper · 21-02-2015 06:47PM

I think being so easily upset that you get annoyed by people eating crisps on the bus probably counts as some sort of mild mental impairment.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 21-02-2015 08:42PM

seventeen sheep wrote: »

Why make yourself miserable?

When I was pregnant, I was a lot more comfortable sitting rather than standing. So, yeah, I'd make a point of taking off my coat and holding my bump, just in case anyone was in doubt. We'd all hate to inadvertently offer a non-pregnant fat lady a seat, but if someone is actually holding their bump, there's not much doubt there! I was almost always offered a seat (which I'd accept gratefully) within a couple of minutes of getting onto the packed train.

I'd also have asked for a seat if not offered one - this rarely happened, but people were happy to oblige any time I asked.

Would you have anyone in mind that you'd ask to move? I'm not being mean - just curious. I would always offer my seat to someone who needed it more, but sometimes I suffer with sciatica, and I actually feel like I'm twisted when I stand up. To look at me, there's nothing wrong with me but if I was standing or walking for a period of time, Id be in tears.

Now if a woman holding her bump and rubbing her belly was to ask me for my seat, out of mortification Id give it to her because you know, she has a bump and I don't, but I wouldn't have offered the seat because when it's that bad I wouldn't be able to stand.

Etiquette on public transport

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