Small mistakes you've made in the past that make you cringe.

ShiftStorm · 05-02-2015 04:32PM

I saw a guy holding his cute newborn daughter in Tesco's. I smiled at them and meant to ask 'how many months?' but said 'how much?'

He said 'very expensive'.

beks101 · 05-02-2015 04:54PM

Working as a TV producer years ago, desperately and in a blind panic trying to book a bunch of guests for a live outside broadcast that was happening in a remote part of the west of Ireland the next day.

Find myself chatting to a GAA manager from the area in the vain hope of booking a few of his team members. Chatty aul fella.

"Y'know Beks, it's great to hear that you'll be coming to our part of the country, the history is quite rich - would you believe it's the hometown of the founder of the GAA himself, Michael Cusack?"

"Oh that's great, would Mr Cusack be available to join us on the show tomorrow?"

*Stunned silence*

"Mr Cusack has been dead for more than a hundred years"

BillJ · 05-02-2015 06:18PM

I got a case of verbal dyslexia when saying thanks to the cashier at a shop.

I fused the two sayings "Sound" and "Thanks a Million" into

"Sound a Million" She just looked at me

Son Of A Vidic · 05-02-2015 06:19PM

Tilly wrote: »

The past? There's a video of me dancing at a wedding a few weeks ago on my own like a loon for an entire song, i was even making up dance moves. My life is cringe!!!

I saw it and yes you should cringe.

Still trying to figure out why you weren't wearing any clothes.

Ben D Bus · 05-02-2015 06:46PM

I remember being a bit drunk in a nightclub once, went to look for the jacks and spent 30 seconds trying to get past some idiot who wouldn't get out of my way before I realised it was myself in a mirror

PizzamanIRL · 05-02-2015 06:55PM

I pressed the minus symbol instead of divide symbol in a maths exam.

Mickey H · 05-02-2015 07:27PM

PizzamanIRL wrote: »

I pressed the minus symbol instead of divide symbol in a maths exam.

Did that ruin your day much?!

Ihatecuddles · 05-02-2015 07:30PM

Ben D Bus wrote: »

I remember being a bit drunk in a nightclub once, went to look for the jacks and spent 30 seconds trying to get past some idiot who wouldn't get out of my way before I realised it was myself in a mirror

At least you didn't try and hug them because you knew you recognised them from somewhere

that got a lot of laughs. Considering I ran from across the empty dancefloor to do it, while the busy bar looked at me.

PizzamanIRL · 05-02-2015 07:33PM

Mickey H wrote: »

Did that ruin your day much?!

It ruined my future!

Teyla Emmagan · 05-02-2015 07:36PM

Chanting "Americans are cowards" at some friend of the family when I was over there. I was ten and he wouldn't come in ther pool with me. I just remember the entire place going weirdly quiet as everyone turned to stare at me. I was only trying to goad him not start WW3!

cork guitar player · 05-02-2015 07:42PM

Was sending a text to my GF about what an asshat this bloke was and I sent text to asshats phone. Fek.

Ihatecuddles · 05-02-2015 07:43PM

I remember calling my brother a prick at the dinner table when I was about 8. I must have heard one of my older siblings say it. They would have been in their 20's at the time.

Jesus the faces around the table. Eyes wide, mouth open, I'll never forget it!! They all just cracked up laughing.

Another time, I was even younger. My sister came home from school crying because she had been pushed in a river by a bully. She was ten years older than me, she sat at the table soaking wet, crying and telling our mam what happened. I walked over to her, smacked her in the face and told her to stick up for herself and not to act like such a baby.

Feel really bad about the second one. My brother is still a prick though.

sjb25 · 05-02-2015 07:48PM

In a car dropping of somebody I was getting out of the back to get into the passenger seat as I was getting out said thanks very much for the lift doh

boobar · 05-02-2015 07:57PM

Apart from the usual ...

Me: how are you?
Person: grand, how are you?
Me: grand, how are you?

...moments.

I was going for an interview years ago and walked into a very clean clear glass door.....I didn't get the job.

Asarlai · 05-02-2015 08:24PM

crazygeryy wrote: »

I think i speak for everyone when i say WTF?

Now, now one should never assume one speaks for everyone.

Simply not done

sadie06 · 05-02-2015 08:46PM

Mine is so cringey is still makes me loaf the pillow sometimes, and I have never, ever shared it with anyone. I also can't blame youth, as I was in my mid 30's when this happened.

After being pestered for months and months by friends to join Facebook, I gave in and joined to see what it was all about. On my very first day I was delighted that an old flat mate of mine friended me as he had emigrated to the States and I hadn't seen him in about three years. My very first interaction was with him. I typed out what I thought was a private message along the lines of "Congrats on finally getting your green card. No excuses for not visiting home now".

It wasn't private though, was it? No, it went on to his homepage so all of his 300 odd friends and contacts could read it.

Oh God, I feel better for finally sharing that.

route9 · 05-02-2015 10:03PM

I replied to one of those Nigerian scam emails a few years back, when they first started coming out. The guy was all about the 'I have 8.2 billion dollars sitting in an account, and just need your bank details to release the funds which we can split half way'.

Like an eejit I sent on my details and only ended up getting 3.9 billion dollars.

ArnoldJRimmer · 05-02-2015 11:38PM

I was looking for a job in a restaurant years ago. A friend had set up a meeting with the manager so it was pretty much an open goal. However, I somehow managed to get myself and said manager stuck in the revolving door of the restaurant on our way in after she met me outside (I was lost and had to call for directions). Took a few mins to free my backpack, and allow the door to move again.

Surprisingly enough, she decided that employing Frank Spencer as a waiter wasn't a wise decision

Tin Foil Hat · 05-02-2015 11:52PM

I'm a van driver. Once, I came onto a dual-carriageway via a slip road. Mirror - signal - mirror and I move between two vehicles. I'm happy out, moving along, listening to the radio. Must've been three or four minutes before I realised that I'd cut in between a hearse and the rest of the funeral cortege. And me in a big fukk off white van with my company name, a family business, plastered over all four sides of it. I wished I was in the fukking coffin.

Son Of A Vidic · 05-02-2015 11:59PM

BetterThanThou wrote: »

Small mistakes you've made in the past that make you cringe.

Having In-Laws. An insufferable shower of dimwitted & superficial narcissistic cúnts.

Loopy · 06-02-2015 12:11AM

My sister recently text me saying, 'not having a good day and to top it, just got licked out'.
Personally, I thought that was a pretty decent ending to a sh1t day.
She meant locked out.

Un Croissant · 06-02-2015 12:13AM

This one time on boards I set up a thread called 'cringe worthy moments" or some such. I was told it was cringeworthy.

Cringe.

strobe · 06-02-2015 12:22AM

I went to some 'interactive experience' thing before when I was a kid. It was based the the Alien movies that Signoury Weaver was in. You know the ones. Anyway it was pretty cool. It was all done up like a big spaceship and there was strobe lighting and smoke machines and stuff. And guys dressed up as space marines, with replca machine guns firing blanks and occasionally guys dressed in these awesome really well done alien costumes, that'd grab out at you from vents and things, or rush past the intersecting corridor as you approached and the space marines would tell you to get down and start shooting after them and stuff. That was actually brilliant come to think of it. They should do more things like that for kids.

Anyway, we got to an airlock, or ammo room or some thing. And we were all jumpy as fvck by this point. And there was a noise in the distance and one of the two remaining marines (think we'd started with 5, but were down to two at this point) left and went off to check it out, followed by gun fire and screaming, then silence, and the other marine with us yelling "everyone down!!" and pointing his gun towards the only way into the room waiting for the aliens to rush in and murder rape the fvck out of us all.

So it was a pretty tense moment, and out of nervousness I started chewing on the collar of my jacket. I felt it slowly start to tug in my mouth but was just totally focused on the way in, watching out for aliens, and kept hold. And when I finally looked over, turns out it was the kid beside me's jacket color. I kept a grip and nervously chewed away not really grasping just what I was doing. Until I noticed he was looking at me with the fear of death in his eyes, not of aliens, but of the clearly deranged kid that had started chewing on his clothes and was steadfastly refusing to stop. We got caught in this weird eye contact thing where I continued to chew and he continued to try and back away.

Waynesireland · 06-02-2015 12:23AM

Under the guise of anonymity I have to admit the following road make MISTAKE!!

Was travelling home my usual 45 min trip Tuesday, stuck in cue of cars going 40kmph on 80kmph by some turd in a corsa, ten cars back, no hope of passing so stuck there annoying myself with thoughts of "what gives this person the right to delay me", "do they have rear view mirrors and when they see traffic build up how come they wouldn't pull over" etc etc.
Well my temper got the better of me, I could see a car coming the other opposite direction and it too had a cue of cars behind (it was c6pm so very faded light, could see the cue of lights behind it), seeing this car coming towards me I decided to vent my frustration on it by flashing and beeping to highlight the build up of traffic behind it just like the lovely cue I was stuck in. Was only mid beep did I notice it was a hearse, 'occupied' shall we say, with funeral procession behind.
All I can say, lesson learned. The shame.

Senna · 06-02-2015 12:39AM

Years ago I was driving back from college one dark evening and about an hour from home I noticed my car headlights were starting to dim, after another 10 minutes they were even dimmer and I was sure the alternator on my car was dead and the car was running on the battery and would die soon. So phoned my brother, explained what was happening and he said if I could make it another 10 miles to where he worked, he would leave work early and tow the car home.
Anyway the car kept going but now with lights that could hardly brighten the road at all and I arrange to meet the brother at a petrol station. I pull in and the brother pops the engine, but just before he does he looks at the lights, wipes them with he sleeve and hey presto the lights are back bright again. Yes it was just dirt on the lenses from following a large truck most of the way home.
So the brother had explained to his boss that I was stranded and he had to leave work, he could hardly go back now and just explain I was a moron, so he had to take the rest of the evening off.

Ihatecuddles · 06-02-2015 12:55AM

strobe wrote: »

So it was a pretty tense moment, and out of nervousness I started chewing on tthatllar of my jacket. I felt it slowly start to tug in my mouth but was just totally focused on the way in, watching out for aliens, and kept hold. And when I finally looked over, turns out it was the kid beside me's jacket color. I kept a grip and nervously chewed away not really grasping just what I was doing. Until I noticed he was looking at me with the fear of death in his eyes, not of aliens, but of the clearly deranged kid that had started chewing on his clothes and was steadfastly refusing to stop. We got caught in this weird eye contact thing where I continued to chew and he continued to try and back away.

I really thought that would be terrible, but it's my favourite!! mmy pillow is wet from the tears,and I woke my husband up!

such a good story.

mufcboy1999 · 06-02-2015 01:09AM

Not as funny as some of the previous, some real gems, literally laughing out loud here.

Anyway I was in college a few years back when I decided to have a bit of a rant about a particular subject to a few of the lads, needless to say as with all good rants, I didn't hold back, not one bit. Ofcourse we all had a nickname for this paticular lectuer for this subject, double O Kevin , because he basically taught he was the dogs bollix, as cool as ice.

So as I ranted on about everything from the time of the class to the importance of it etc. I ofcourse then moved onto Double O Kevin himself, in general expressing just how much of a twat I taught he was, how he'd love to get into the knickers of one the girls he so obviously adored and so forth.

I stopped my rambling to catch my breath after what must of been close to a minute, in real time for this kind of situation thats a long time !.This allowed me to actually notice the expressions on my friends faces, then it made sense why none of them joined in, yes you guessed it, it was one of those he's behind me moments isn't he ! Yep he sure was.

The last 2 months of that class were the most awkward moments of my 26 years on this planet.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5 · 06-02-2015 03:27AM

I was at one of my best friend's engagement party back in September, both her parents are from Dublin so I hadn't met much of her extended family. Three or four drinks into the night I saw my friend, her aunt and who I assumed was her cousin chatting away. My friend and her cousin were the spitting image of each other, same build, same colouring, even the same gestures. So up I go to them 'well jaysis the two of ye must be related anyway ha? Ye're the head off each other. Ye're probably sick of hearing that are ye?'

Turns out the 'cousin' was an ex of my friend's fiancee....

suicide_circus · 06-02-2015 07:48AM

Working in retail

Me: can I help you, sir?

Customer: I'm a woman

Sinister Kid · 06-02-2015 09:58AM

When I was a kid my mam's friend had a baby girl and named her Jenna... For about a month I called her genitals.

Small mistakes you've made in the past that make you cringe.

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