Small mistakes you've made in the past that make you cringe.

BetterThanThou

Pretty much, just small mistakes you've made in the past that make you cringe and think of how idiotic they were now.
One that I occasionally think of is my first time using a cigarette machine in a bar, this was after the tokens came in, I had always assumed you paid for the token and the cigarettes at the bar, I went up and handed the barwoman a 20 and asked for a token for the cigarette machine, she handed me back a fiver and some change, I had already had quite a few, so I wasn't concerned with counting or even looking at the change, I figured it was only a fiver, and I had paid a tenner for the token and threw it in my pocket. So I went up to the cigarette machine, put the token in, made my selection, nothing came out. So I went back up to the barwoman and said this, and she informs me that I have to put the token as well as money, I count the change and realize she had just given me change of my 20. Seems pretty obvious, considering the fact that various cigarettes are different prices, and have the prices right in front of you in LED lights. Always makes me cringe when I think back to that.

Tilly

The past? There's a video of me dancing at a wedding a few weeks ago on my own like a loon for an entire song, i was even making up dance moves. My life is cringe!!!

AgileMyth

I work in a pub in Belgium and the locals are constantly perplexed by the fag machine. Every day you have to show someone how it works.

That said, Belgians are pretty thick at the best of times. So don't be feeling better about yourself!!

They've also yet to figure out the smoking ban. People light up in the pub on a daily basis. Its not like its a new thing here..

gerrybbadd

Fell for a Nigerian scam. Sent off an iPad I was trying to sell, having received emails from "PayPal", confirming that payment was pending.

What a fool I was!

whiskeyman

Voted for FF in my early youth...








In fairness, it was Tiger time, and nearly everyone was!

The Backwards Man

At a motorway service station years ago, Hilton Park or Keele maybe;

Server; Would you like peas or beans?
Me; Aye.

Morto to this day.

Wacker The Attacker

Looking back at some of the munters I've banged over the years is amazingly cringeworthy

Wacker The Attacker

whiskeyman wrote: »

Voted for FF in my early youth...








In fairness, it was Tiger time, and nearly everyone was!

Is that your excuse?

Really?

DoYouEvenLift

Cashier: "enjoy your food"
Me: "Thanks, you too!"

thegreatgonzo

I make so many I don't cringe anymore. My particular favourite though is the day I mistook a lamb's penis for his naval and gave it a thorough exploratory probing before my friend told me it was not indeed a naval. In my defence I was not a veterinary nurse at the time and had never been that close to a sheep before. Still though...

RWCNT

Wacker The Attacker wrote: »

Looking back at some of the munters I've banged over the years is amazingly cringeworthy

Never mind, if you could've done any better I'm sure you would have.

Stone Deaf 4evr

was at work and took a phone call from my wife, another call came in on the second line from one of our electricians. Put the mrs on hold and switched lines

got some slagging later when I told him I loved him at the end of the call.

smash

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

Cashier: "enjoy your food"
Me: "Thanks, you too!"

I do this all the time with fast food delivery guys.

Crumpets

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

Cashier: "enjoy your food"
Me: "Thanks, you too!"

"Happy Birthday!"
"Thanks, you too!"

RossFixxxed

I walked out of the barber's wondering if my hair had been butchered, so I stopped and checked my reflection in a car window.

Then I noticed the coffin inside the car, and the 50 odd people in black clothes, some in tears.... CRINGE.



(My hair looked crap and my ear was bleeding as it turns out)

---

Talking to my GF in Marks and Spencers, get to the bakery and exclaim "ooo cookies, these are better than sex, no offence love" and I put my hand on her shoulder... but she's 2 aisles over now, and can't even see me. The poor girl who my hand is on shouts in a really scared voice "MUUUUUMMMMM". I never got my cookies.



A week later in the same shop I dropped a strawberry trifle on the floor, and being such a wit said in a drawled "dumb" voice "duhhh strawberry trifle". A man nearby gives me a kind look and says "yes, you're right well done." Cue me having to act like that the whole way out the door of the shop!



I now realise I shouldn't go out in public.

anncoates

Stone Deaf 4evr wrote: »

was at work and took a phone call from my wife, another call came in on the second line from one of our electricians. Put the mrs on hold and switched lines

got some slagging later when I told him I loved him at the end of the call.

Your wife sounds like a male tradesman?

The Strawman Argument

Passively agreed to go to a competitive debating thingy at the behest of a friend cos I had nothing better to do. For a pretty shy person I've done an absolute ton of pretty silly stuff in front of crowds and most of them I remember somewhat fondly, but that whole experience still makes me cringe like hell; the people just pretend they're 100% on one side of the argument regardless of their personal beliefs, I repeatedly wound up arguing for everyone (including my partner) to be more moderate.

osarusan

Went up to a girl (at a table full of girls) in a club looking for a light for my cigarette. She picked up the light, but made some circular/whirling gesture towards my face. I thought she was drunk/mad/whatever, so just nodded and smiled politely, while waiting for the light. The other girls started to watch.

She did the same thing again, I smiled again. She pointed at my face and did the same thing again....I smiled again, and made the 'using a lighter' gesture with my hand. The other girls were all watching now.

She shrugged and lit my cigarette. I started retching immediately, and they all burst out laughing at me.

Turns out the cigarette was the wrong way round in my mouth, so I was inhaling the burning filter.

Going Strong

Years ago now, I stupidly went for some after work refreshments with my colleagues before heading for Heuston to get the train to Cork. As we made our way southwards, a mate phoned me and we got chatting. Being a bit tiddly, I was mouthing off all sorts of "Wolf of Wall Street" "I'M ON THE PHONE!" w@nkery to the derision and disgust of my fellow passengers. I still cringe as I recall me regaling all and sundry with shouted comments about everything under the sun with lots of expletives added. If they'd have thrown me out the door into the path of an oncoming train, I'd have deserved every bit of it.

893bet

Three words..........those who know will know

"thanks for coming"

Canard

RossFixxxed wrote: »

Talking to my GF in Marks and Spencers, get to the bakery and exclaim "ooo cookies, these are better than sex, no offence love" and I put my hand on her shoulder... but she's 2 aisles over now, and can't even see me. The poor girl who my hand is on shouts in a really scared voice "MUUUUUMMMMM". I never got my cookies.



A week later in the same shop I dropped a strawberry trifle on the floor, and being such a wit said in a drawled "dumb" voice "duhhh strawberry trifle". A man nearby gives me a kind look and says "yes, you're right well done." Cue me having to act like that the whole way out the door of the shop!



I now realise I shouldn't go out in public.

Hahahaha
Similar enough story but with the cringe reserved for my friend (I'm male, she's female): we were in marks and spencers buying the cookies that are better than sex, but of course they have to be really soft, so I was checking how soft they were.

I was right beside her but she was kind of at an angle to the shelf, so the people in the aisle could see her but not me. Then I felt the cookies and they were, as I said, "harder than my nipples on a frosty December night". The woman gave my friend a look of disgust. :pac:

_Brian

Years ago went to nightclub with some friends, drove the car and plan was to leave it there, local lad said that would be fine..
Came out of nightclub and he said for sure the car would be stolen or vandalised, that it happens all the time..

So, after maybe 10-12 pints I took the car out up the road, dropped a few lads home. Got to the driveway at home and was so drunk I couldn't get the car into a 12ft gateway, just left it outside..

To this day I'm mortally embarrassed that I didn't have better judgement.. I was 19-20 years of age with a full licence and needed my car for work..

Chip Whitley

Many years ago, in secondary school the big 'joke' at the time was to say 'your mother' after anything someone said... anyway, I never really got into it myself, until one French class when one of the lads was struggling to describe a day at the beach in french, he started to describe a pretty lady he met when I jumped in with 'YOUR MOTHER, WAS IT?!'

Waited for the laughs... they never came... the poor lads mother had died years before and seemingly I was the only one in the school who did' know. Mortified. He threatened to kill me me of course until he realised it was a genuine mistake and I profusely apologised after school, which he graciously accepted.

I still cringe thinking about it. The one ****ing time I got involved with a stupid joke.

Ihatecuddles

Started working in a beauty salon as a receptionist. One of the beauticians asked me to.put the wax machine on the heater.the heater is what heats the wax, it's plugged into the wall and the.handheld thing just clicks in. She went looking for it just as a client showed.up for her wax, I had left it on the radiator. That's what I thought when she.said heater.

Same salon, first day. The beauticians were all busy.doing massages and other treatments, the phone kept ringing. Every time I answered it there was nobody there. This went on for about 15 minutes, phone constantly ringing and nobody said anything when I answered it. Eventually a beautician came out and let.someone in, it was the.buzzer for the door.and.I left a client outside all that.time.

Another time my husband introduced me to an old friend of his
I put out my hand and said Emma, nice to meet you. He said nice to meet you Emmett.
I said Emma. He said Emmett?
I kept saying Em-ma and he kept saying Emm-ett.
He walked away and I turned to my husband and asked was the guy an idiot or something, he kept calling me Emmett.
My husband was cracking up,turns out he was telling me his name was Emmett.

Tell me how

Took my card out of cash machine once and walked away without the cash. Guy next in line knocked on window of car to give it to me. All €300 euro of it! Often shiver when I think about that and how difficult it is to get money and yet to be so flippant as to leave it behind me.

razorblunt

Standard ... called the teacher Mam.

He was not impressed.

5rtytry56

Went to the trouble of buying one. I'm more of a Raspberry Pi fan. Actually, I have no use whatever for the Galileo, and it has never been powered on.

Want a spare galileo in a tatty box, seriously.

crazygeryy

5rtytry56 wrote: »

Went to the trouble of buying one. I'm more of a Raspberry Pi fan. Actually, I have no use whatever for the Galileo, and it has never been powered on.

Want a spare galileo in a tatty box, seriously.

I think i speak for everyone when i say WTF?

Macavity.

When I was about 10 or 11, I bought a toy from a stall in a sort of fair day type thing. I didn't want it but I had expressed interest in it briefly. The woman in charge of the stall was a bit pushy, although not overly so, and I really can't use that as an excuse. I was very quiet and timid back then and I ended up buying the item because I didn't speak up. I'm a lot more assertive now, so I guess it was a life lesson.

crazygeryy

I said congratulations when are you due to a woman i just met...............she wasn't due and she wasn't impressed to say the least.

4zn76tysfajdxp

5rtytry56 wrote: »

Went to the trouble of buying one. I'm more of a Raspberry Pi fan. Actually, I have no use whatever for the Galileo, and it has never been powered on.

Want a spare galileo in a tatty box, seriously.

Sure.

ShiftStorm

I saw a guy holding his cute newborn daughter in Tesco's. I smiled at them and meant to ask 'how many months?' but said 'how much?'

He said 'very expensive'.

beks101

Working as a TV producer years ago, desperately and in a blind panic trying to book a bunch of guests for a live outside broadcast that was happening in a remote part of the west of Ireland the next day.

Find myself chatting to a GAA manager from the area in the vain hope of booking a few of his team members. Chatty aul fella.

"Y'know Beks, it's great to hear that you'll be coming to our part of the country, the history is quite rich - would you believe it's the hometown of the founder of the GAA himself, Michael Cusack?"

"Oh that's great, would Mr Cusack be available to join us on the show tomorrow?"

*Stunned silence*

"Mr Cusack has been dead for more than a hundred years"

BillJ

I got a case of verbal dyslexia when saying thanks to the cashier at a shop.

I fused the two sayings "Sound" and "Thanks a Million" into

"Sound a Million" She just looked at me

Son Of A Vidic

Tilly wrote: »

The past? There's a video of me dancing at a wedding a few weeks ago on my own like a loon for an entire song, i was even making up dance moves. My life is cringe!!!

I saw it and yes you should cringe.


Still trying to figure out why you weren't wearing any clothes.

Ben D Bus

I remember being a bit drunk in a nightclub once, went to look for the jacks and spent 30 seconds trying to get past some idiot who wouldn't get out of my way before I realised it was myself in a mirror

PizzamanIRL

I pressed the minus symbol instead of divide symbol in a maths exam.

Mickey H

PizzamanIRL wrote: »

I pressed the minus symbol instead of divide symbol in a maths exam.

Did that ruin your day much?!

Ihatecuddles

Ben D Bus wrote: »

I remember being a bit drunk in a nightclub once, went to look for the jacks and spent 30 seconds trying to get past some idiot who wouldn't get out of my way before I realised it was myself in a mirror

At least you didn't try and hug them because you knew you recognised them from somewhere that got a lot of laughs. Considering I ran from across the empty dancefloor to do it, while the busy bar looked at me.

PizzamanIRL

Mickey H wrote: »

Did that ruin your day much?!

It ruined my future!

Teyla Emmagan

Chanting "Americans are cowards" at some friend of the family when I was over there. I was ten and he wouldn't come in ther pool with me. I just remember the entire place going weirdly quiet as everyone turned to stare at me. I was only trying to goad him not start WW3!

cork guitar player

Was sending a text to my GF about what an asshat this bloke was and I sent text to asshats phone. Fek.

Ihatecuddles

I remember calling my brother a prick at the dinner table when I was about 8. I must have heard one of my older siblings say it. They would have been in their 20's at the time.

Jesus the faces around the table. Eyes wide, mouth open, I'll never forget it!! They all just cracked up laughing.

Another time, I was even younger. My sister came home from school crying because she had been pushed in a river by a bully. She was ten years older than me, she sat at the table soaking wet, crying and telling our mam what happened. I walked over to her, smacked her in the face and told her to stick up for herself and not to act like such a baby.

Feel really bad about the second one. My brother is still a prick though.

sjb25

In a car dropping of somebody I was getting out of the back to get into the passenger seat as I was getting out said thanks very much for the lift doh

boobar

Apart from the usual ...

Me: how are you?
Person: grand, how are you?
Me: grand, how are you?

...moments.

I was going for an interview years ago and walked into a very clean clear glass door.....I didn't get the job.

Asarlai

crazygeryy wrote: »

I think i speak for everyone when i say WTF?

Now, now one should never assume one speaks for everyone.

Simply not done

sadie06

Mine is so cringey is still makes me loaf the pillow sometimes, and I have never, ever shared it with anyone. I also can't blame youth, as I was in my mid 30's when this happened.

After being pestered for months and months by friends to join Facebook, I gave in and joined to see what it was all about. On my very first day I was delighted that an old flat mate of mine friended me as he had emigrated to the States and I hadn't seen him in about three years. My very first interaction was with him. I typed out what I thought was a private message along the lines of "Congrats on finally getting your green card. No excuses for not visiting home now".

It wasn't private though, was it? No, it went on to his homepage so all of his 300 odd friends and contacts could read it.

Oh God, I feel better for finally sharing that.

route9

I replied to one of those Nigerian scam emails a few years back, when they first started coming out. The guy was all about the 'I have 8.2 billion dollars sitting in an account, and just need your bank details to release the funds which we can split half way'.

Like an eejit I sent on my details and only ended up getting 3.9 billion dollars.

ArnoldJRimmer

I was looking for a job in a restaurant years ago. A friend had set up a meeting with the manager so it was pretty much an open goal. However, I somehow managed to get myself and said manager stuck in the revolving door of the restaurant on our way in after she met me outside (I was lost and had to call for directions). Took a few mins to free my backpack, and allow the door to move again.

Surprisingly enough, she decided that employing Frank Spencer as a waiter wasn't a wise decision

Tin Foil Hat

I'm a van driver. Once, I came onto a dual-carriageway via a slip road. Mirror - signal - mirror and I move between two vehicles. I'm happy out, moving along, listening to the radio. Must've been three or four minutes before I realised that I'd cut in between a hearse and the rest of the funeral cortege. And me in a big fukk off white van with my company name, a family business, plastered over all four sides of it. I wished I was in the fukking coffin.

Son Of A Vidic

BetterThanThou wrote: »

Small mistakes you've made in the past that make you cringe.

Having In-Laws. An insufferable shower of dimwitted & superficial narcissistic cúnts.