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‘People think I’m the devil for having an abortion, but it’s the only option that&

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Comments

  • #32
    maringo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 959 ✭✭✭maringo


    She is only one of the thousands and thousands of Irish women who have travelled to have abortions abroad over the years. She is certainly not alone. A very courageous woman to speak out about her experience. Hope she has the strength and support to cope with the onslaught crawling out of the woodwork.


  • #33
    PauloMN
    Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators, Regional North East Moderators Posts: 10,885 Mod ✭✭✭✭PauloMN


    http://www.irishtimes.com/news/social-affairs/tara-they-shouldn-t-have-control-over-my-uterus-1.2089490
    She is interviewed by BBC reporter Alys Harte before she and Steve start their 500-mile round trip, where she explains why they have chosen to terminate the pregnancy. She had been on the pill and the pregnancy was a shock. They had been saving to move to a new apartment and to take a long-haul trip the following year.

    Her baby got in the way of her new apartment and a trip away.

    What a sad, sad society.


  • #34
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 18,749 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Cookie_Monster wrote: »
    Can she be arrested on here return now that it's public knowledge, I'm sure there will be some quarters calling for it...

    No, freedom to travel.
    The Irish people voted, yes you can travel to have an abortion, but you won't have it here.
    Basically, you can have one but not without extreme trauma and expense on your part.
    You better feel bad, basically.


  • #35
    gctest50
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,597 ✭✭✭gctest50


    PauloMN wrote: »

    Her baby got in the way of her new apartment and a trip away.

    What a sad, sad society.

    The NHS don't kill babies in the UK

    She terminated a pregnancy - not illegal over there ( t&c's apply before it starts)

    .


  • #36
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 18,749 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    skittles8710 wrote: »
    Tara is a very close friend of mine. It was an extremely difficult decision for her to make. The Irish times posted an article on her story earlier on today and some of the Facebook comments were horrendous. I know you'd expect me to say this as her friend but she is genuinely one of the most selfless caring people you will ever meet. I'm not pro abortion but am glad it has got people talking about these women and the various circumstances

    I hope you tell your friend that there are tens of thousands of people in Ireland that do not judge her, tens of thousands of women who have done exactly the same but don't have her bravery to speak publicly.
    Don't let her read the abuse.


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  • #37
    shruikan2553
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,113 ✭✭✭shruikan2553


    PauloMN wrote: »
    http://www.irishtimes.com/news/social-affairs/tara-they-shouldn-t-have-control-over-my-uterus-1.2089490



    Her baby got in the way of her new apartment and a trip away.

    What a sad, sad society.

    I suppose you could look at it that way if it makes you feel better. I think what it meant was that they used their savings from that for the abortion because some people want abortion in Ireland to only be available if you have the money.

    I recommend you read the next line.


  • #38
    Eutow
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,197 ✭✭✭Eutow


    PauloMN wrote: »
    http://www.irishtimes.com/news/social-affairs/tara-they-shouldn-t-have-control-over-my-uterus-1.2089490



    Her baby got in the way of her new apartment and a trip away.

    What a sad, sad society.


    I find it more sad that somebody has to travel to another country to have an abortion whatever the reason.


  • #39
    floggg
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,821 ✭✭✭floggg


    RobYourBuilder wrote: »

    Twelve women a day take the boat, it's time we stopped exporting this issue and legislate for it at home.

    Why is it the all get the boat still?

    Surely a Ryanair flight in and out would be cheaper and more convenient, no?


  • #40
    eviltwin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    PauloMN wrote: »
    http://www.irishtimes.com/news/social-affairs/tara-they-shouldn-t-have-control-over-my-uterus-1.2089490



    Her baby got in the way of her new apartment and a trip away.

    What a sad, sad society.

    Nothing sad about it at all. It's sad when women are unable to travel and are forced into parenthood or take drastic measures to end the pregnancy themselves.


  • #41
    seventeen sheep
    Closed Accounts Posts: 776 ✭✭✭seventeen sheep


    PauloMN wrote: »
    Her baby got in the way of her new apartment and a trip away.

    No.

    An unplanned and unwanted pregnancy occurred. She was on the pill, which is usually a pretty foolproof method of contraception. But sh*t happens sometimes.

    So they did the responsible thing, considering their circumstances and feelings, and terminated the pregnancy before a baby came into the equation.

    It's just a sad state of affairs that they had to travel abroad to do so. Along with the other few thousand couples/women that are forced to do so every year.

    We can't keep relying on the UK to take care of these women. It's shameful that it's gone on for so long.


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  • #42
    skittles8710
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 653 ✭✭✭skittles8710


    bubblypop wrote: »
    I hope you tell your friend that there are tens of thousands of people in Ireland that do not judge her, tens of thousands of women who have done exactly the same but don't have her bravery to speak publicly.
    Don't let her read the abuse.

    Thank you
    I'll step out of this discussion now, too personal for me to continue.
    Night folks


  • #43
    boatbuilder
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 624 ✭✭✭boatbuilder


    Sad and barbaric that potentially on one floor of a hospital a doctor is killing an unborn baby (which involves dismembering it inside the mother) and on another floor a doctor could be battling to save a baby's life of a very similar age (23/24 weeks).

    I would guess that abortion is pure selfishness in the vast majority of cases (in the UK anyway) and that a baby doesn't fit into the mother's "life plan". Problem is many people don't see foetuses as human beings. How different it would be if mothers suddenly decided they wanted to kill off their two year olds for example just because the mother feels suicidal or that they want to exert their rights to decide if they want a kid anymore or not?

    When does a baby become a human? Society is messed up.


  • #44
    The_Valeyard
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,452 ✭✭✭✭The_Valeyard


    Her choice,

    Pity adoption wasn't considered. lots of would be parents out there, would give there right arm to have a child. Might find out more in the documentary.


  • #45
    eviltwin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    The_Valeyard wrote: »
    Her choice,

    Pity adoption wasn't considered. lots of would be parents out there, would give there right arm to have a child. Might find out more in the documentary.

    Adoption is a perfectly valid solution to an unwanted baby. Not so much for an unwanted pregnancy.


  • #46
    Zippie84
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,648 ✭✭✭Zippie84


    mikemac1 wrote: »
    The NHS are not going to pay for anyone who arrives on a plane.

    The girl doesn't pay tax there and must pay

    I never knew these were free on the NHS until this thread!

    I don't think it should be free in Ireland either if introduced.

    I agree.

    In the UK we have the NHS. In Ireland we don't.

    It doesn't really make sense to compare both in this context, and to say that it's unfair that girls can have abortions for free in UK, but not in Ireland.


  • #47
    marienbad
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,463 ✭✭✭marienbad


    boatbuilder wrote: »
    Sad and barbaric that potentially on one floor of a hospital a doctor is killing a baby and on another floor a doctor could be battling to save a baby's life of a very similar age (23/24 weeks).

    I would guess that abortion is pure selfishness in the vast majority of cases (in the UK anyway) and that a baby doesn't fit into the mother's "life plan". Problem is many people don't see foetuses as human beings. How different it would be if mothers suddenly decided they wanted to kill off their two year olds for example just because the mother feels suicidal or that they want to exert their rights to decide if they want a kid anymore or not?

    When does a baby become a human? Society is messed up.

    Not this rubbish again, Spare me


  • #48
    floggg
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,821 ✭✭✭floggg


    darced wrote: »
    Having an abortion is no one else's business either but she is making a Tv programme about it so what would be the point if she didnt explain her reasoning?

    Thankfully it wasn't your womb though so it shouldn't be a matter that concerns you.


  • #49
    Zippie84
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,648 ✭✭✭Zippie84


    RobYourBuilder wrote: »
    I'm not saying that it should be free for all. The persons financial situation should be taken into account. If and when we do legislate for it, then women won't have to pony up the costs of transport, accommodation and other incidental charges that occur when travelling. It definitely won't cost anywhere near €1,300.

    Good point. And in that regard it is very unfair indeed.


  • #50
    boatbuilder
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 624 ✭✭✭boatbuilder


    marienbad wrote: »
    Not this rubbish again, Spare me

    My points are perfectly valid. Your calling them rubbish doesn't just magically make them invalid.


  • #51
    PauloMN
    Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators, Regional North East Moderators Posts: 10,885 Mod ✭✭✭✭PauloMN


    I'd never abuse the woman for choosing to do what she did. I struggle with the notion of abortion and I don't think it would ever be an easy decision. I also think the suggestion that some might want her arrested is a ridiculous one, what would that achieve?

    I do however totally disagree with abortion on demand. Unlike what we know as the "difficult" cases, I see this abortion as purely an act of convenience. I'll never understand how a person could do that purely for the reasons she gave. I'm proud of the fact we do not have abortion on demand and I hope it stays like that. I do think there can be cases where abortion may be considered but her case would most definitely not be one imo.

    We don't export any "problem".


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  • #52
    darced
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,056 ✭✭✭darced


    This post has been deleted.


  • #53
    eviltwin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    darced wrote: »
    This post has been deleted.

    Why shouldn't she and her partner continue with their life plans?


  • #54
    Zippie84
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,648 ✭✭✭Zippie84


    darced wrote: »
    This post has been deleted.

    From the original post: 'She said she wanted to share her story publicly as it is something no one talks about.'

    I'm sure she is giving a bit of insight, I've already been given a bit of insight by her and not even yet seen it.

    As for the question of spending money for her trip - do you know that she was paid for her story?


  • #55
    boatbuilder
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 624 ✭✭✭boatbuilder


    And while I'm here... actually was talking to the friend of a 20 year old Irish woman today who traveled to the UK for an abortion within the last few weeks (she was 23 weeks pregnant).

    Apparently the woman said she wanted to do away with the baby because she felt she couldn't cope with another baby (single mother).
    She told her friend that she felt that so bad that she would kill herself.

    So - off she went, got an abortion... and hey presto two weeks later... she feels more suicidal than ever and will probably be haunted by her actions for the rest of her life. Many abortions are done as a cure for mental health problems that probably existed long before the pregnancy and are not remotely related to the pregnancy itself. Supporting mentally unwell people to have abortions is surely not a great idea.


  • #56
    gctest50
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,597 ✭✭✭gctest50


    boatbuilder wrote: »
    My points are perfectly valid. Your calling them rubbish doesn't just magically make them invalid.


    You points seem invalid

    they terminated a pregnancy -
    Originally Posted by boatbuilder

    Sad and barbaric that potentially on one floor of a hospital a doctor is killing a baby and ...............

    the rest is appeal to emotion (or something - not great at that craic me)

    https://yourlogicalfallacyis.com/appeal-to-emotion



    a doctor could be battling to save a baby's life of a very similar age (23/24 weeks).

    I would guess that abortion is pure selfishness in the vast majority of cases (in the UK anyway) and that a baby doesn't fit into the mother's "life plan". Problem is many people don't see foetuses as human beings. How different it would be if mothers suddenly decided they wanted to kill off their two year olds for example just because the mother feels suicidal or that they want to exert their rights to decide if they want a kid anymore or not?

    When does a baby become a human? Society is messed up.


  • #57
    eviltwin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    boatbuilder wrote: »
    And while I'm here... actually was talking to the friend of a 20 year old Irish woman today who traveled to the UK for an abortion within the last few weeks (she was 23 weeks pregnant).

    Apparently the woman said she wanted to do away with the baby because she felt she couldn't cope with another baby (single mother).
    She told her friend that she felt that so bad that she would kill herself.

    So - off she went, got an abortion... and hey presto two weeks later... she feels more suicidal than ever and will probably be haunted by her actions for the rest of her life. Many abortions are done as a cure for mental health problems that probably existed long before the pregnancy and are not remotely related to the pregnancy itself. Supporting mentally unwell people to have abortions is surely not a great idea.

    Why did she wait so long? I smell a whiff of bull****.


  • #58
    Zippie84
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,648 ✭✭✭Zippie84


    boatbuilder wrote: »
    Supporting mentally unwell people to have abortions is surely not a great idea.

    Mental health is not that simple.

    Supporting mentally unwell to make whatever is the best decision for them, and giving them support both before and after, no matter what that best decision is, is what is a good idea.

    Much better than your suggestion of not supporting mentally unwell people to have abortions.


  • #59
    greenfrogs
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,115 ✭✭✭greenfrogs


    PauloMN wrote: »
    I do however totally disagree with abortion on demand. Unlike what we know as the "difficult" cases, I see this abortion as purely an act of convenience. I'll never understand how a person could do that purely for the reasons she gave. I'm proud of the fact we do not have abortion on demand and I hope it stays like that. I do think there can be cases where abortion may be considered but her case would most definitely not be one imo.

    We don't export any "problem".

    We so do export this 'problem'. We don't allow abortion on Irish land but women are allowed travel to other countries for it. It is a completely Irish attitude. Burying your head in the sand.

    In your post you consider that abortions may be considered in some situations. What criteria do women have to satisfy so they may get an abortion?

    I don't think anybody has an abortion because it is more convenient. That trivializes the situation. They have an abortion because physically, financially, emotionally or mentally they don't feel that they can bring up a baby.


  • #60
    marienbad
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,463 ✭✭✭marienbad


    boatbuilder wrote: »
    My points are perfectly valid. Your calling them rubbish doesn't just magically make them invalid.

    Yeah in the same way that the save the children from the terror of same sex marriage is valid .

    What is the obsession with other people's private lives that seems to grip you people ?


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  • #61
    boatbuilder
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 624 ✭✭✭boatbuilder


    gctest50 wrote: »
    You points seem invalid

    they terminated a pregnancy -

    You can call it what you like and use any amount of cold and distancing terminology to describe it and make it seem like it wasn't a human, but the hard fact is that a when a woman gets pregnant, a baby grows inside her.

    Avoiding the usage of the word "baby" doesn't suddenly make it ok.


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