‘People think I’m the devil for having an abortion, but it’s the only option that&

RobYourBuilder

‘People think I’m the devil for having an abortion, but it’s the only option that’s right for me’

A YOUNG CORK woman has spoken out about her experience of travelling to Britain for an abortion in a new BBC documentary.

Tara has allowed the programme follow her on her journey to a clinic in Ealing, London, just two weeks after she found out she was pregnant.

The programme, ’Abortion: Ireland’s Guilty Secret?’, airs on BBC Three tomorrow evening at 9pm.

The 24-year-old is just one of the 5,000 Irish women who travel to the UK for an abortion every year.

She said she wanted to share her story publicly as it is something no one talks about.

I am sure there are people out there that think I am the devil for doing this, but I know myself that it is the only option that feels right to me right now.

Tara said being forced to travel to England for the procedure does make her feel like a criminal.

I think there is stigma attached to it as you have to leave the country for it.

She admitted she had questioned whether she was making the right decision.

At times I feel guilty… but I think I would be able to give a lot more to a child ten years down the line than I can now. 

Travelling over 500 miles to have an abortion cost Tara and Steve over £1000.

I could hardly get clean… parts of my body or baby that was a part of me just coming a part inside of me, on an aeroplane – it was just horrific – very unfair, compared to girls who are living in UK while we are expected to travel and pay.

The rest of the world can see this is wrong. We are part of a western society and yet it hasn’t changed yet.

http://www.thejournal.ie/bbc-abortion-ireland-uk-1918197-Feb2015/

Very brave and courageous of her to come forward, waive her anonymity and to take part in the documentary. Braver person than I. Hopefully the documentary reasonates with some and emphasises the point that we should no longer put women through this on top of what is already a very stressful ordeal. Forcing them to travel and cough up circa €1,300 is not very humane.

Twelve women a day take the boat, it's time we stopped exporting this issue and legislate for it at home.

ancapailldorcha

I still can't believe women have to go abroad for this. Utterly shameful.

eviltwin

I've read some of the comments made about her and they are awful. That's the reason so few women can talk about it. Who wants to be judged and called a slut and a baby killer.

qt3.14

I think it should be freely available up to 20 weeks, not so sure i adhere with her that should be free.

Venus In Furs

eviltwin wrote: »

I've read some of the comments made about her and they are awful. That's the reason so few women can talk about it. Who wants to be judged and called a slut and a baby killer.

Seriously, a "slut"... because of being in a relationship as a grown woman, and having sex with her partner. 'Kay.

super_furry

Her body, her choice.

Sheldons Brain

eviltwin wrote: »

I've read some of the comments made about her and they are awful. That's the reason so few women can talk about it. Who wants to be judged and called a slut and a baby killer.

Indeed. Slut is not appropriate and the proper term is foetus killer.

eviltwin

Venus In Furs wrote: »

Seriously, a "slut"... because of being in a relationship as a grown woman, and having sex with her partner. 'Kay.

That's the mentality of some people. Any woman who rejects motherhood is obviously some kind of sex crazed, liberal so she's fair game.

RobYourBuilder

Lads, it's the f*cking Journal. Half the people on there are anonymous wind up merchants. The other half are people who use their real name and who fall for the bait over and over again.

skittles8710

Tara is a very close friend of mine. It was an extremely difficult decision for her to make. The Irish times posted an article on her story earlier on today and some of the Facebook comments were horrendous. I know you'd expect me to say this as her friend but she is genuinely one of the most selfless caring people you will ever meet. I'm not sure I agree with her choice but am glad it has got people talking about these women and the various circumstances

skittles8710

RobYourBuilder wrote: »

Lads, it's the f*cking Journal. Half the people on there are anonymous wind up merchants. The other half are people who use their real name and who fall for the bait over and over again.

Much of the same on the Irish Times, The Independent etc unfortunately

Fair play to her for coming out publicly, she has really left herself open for all kinds of abuse. I would love to think that she wouldn't get abuse, unfortunately I know she will.

I have plenty of friends who have had terminations & speak in a small circle about it but none would be willing to put themselves out for the abuse that they would get if they spoke out.

Fair play, she has my respect.

johnnyskeleton

RobYourBuilder wrote: »

Very brave and courageous of her to come forward, waive her anonymity and to take part in the documentary. Braver person than I. Hopefully the documentary reasonates with some and emphasises the point that we should no longer put women through this on top of what is already a very stressful ordeal. Forcing them to travel and cough up circa €1,300 is not very humane.

Twelve women a day take the boat, it's time we stopped exporting this issue and legislate for it at home.

Even if abortion on demand became available in the morning, why should she be entitled to an abortion for free or in her desired location? Should her abortion mean that maybe a poor elderly person doesnt get a bed in an emergency room?

I think abortion should be decriminalised, I dont think it should be paid for by the taxpayer where it is not done to save a life or for a rape victim etc.

mikemac1

very unfair, compared to girls who are living in UK while we are expected to travel and pay.

The NHS are not going to pay for anyone who arrives on a plane.

The girl doesn't pay tax there and must pay

I never knew these were free on the NHS until this thread!

I don't think it should be free in Ireland either if introduced.

RobYourBuilder

johnnyskeleton wrote: »

Even if abortion on demand became available in the morning, why should she be entitled to an abortion for free or in her desired location? Should her abortion mean that maybe a poor elderly person doesnt get a bed in an emergency room?

I think abortion should be decriminalised, I dont think it should be paid for by the taxpayer where it is not done to save a life or for a rape victim etc.

I'm not saying that it should be free for all. The persons financial situation should be taken into account. If and when we do legislate for it, then women won't have to pony up the costs of transport, accommodation and other incidental charges that occur when travelling. It definitely won't cost anywhere near €1,300.

Venus In Furs

skittles8710 wrote: »

Much of the same on the Irish Times, The Independent etc unfortunately

Yeh the Independent can be as bad as TheJournal.ie - worse because it's moreso just wind-up merchants on TheJournal.

Mr. Incognito

Good for her.

Sick of the stigma and shame.

eviltwin

One of the reasons abortion costs so much is irish women usually have to have a surgical rather than a medical abortion. That wouldn't be so much of an issue if it was legal here.

Cookie_Monster

Can she be arrested on here return now that it's public knowledge, I'm sure there will be some quarters calling for it...

j80ezgvc3p92xu

Abortion is the ultimate exercise is selfishness - "My happiness is more important than another human being's life".

eviltwin

Cookie_Monster wrote: »

Can she be arrested on here return now that it's public knowledge, I'm sure there will be some quarters calling for it...

No she can't

skittles8710

Venus In Furs wrote: »

Yeh the Independent can be as bad as TheJournal.ie - worse because it's moreso just wind-up merchants on TheJournal.

The Irish Times comments are as bad as any of the usual suspects.

One fact I'd like to point out that many trolls seem to be ignoring Is that she was in a long term committed relationship and was using contraception.

eviltwin

Kenya Most Gout wrote: »

Abortion is the ultimate exercise is selfishness - "My happiness is more important than another human being's life".

Women have abortions for all sorts of reasons. You have no right to judge.

hattoncracker

Being on the receiving end of the abuse that comes with sharing your experience of a termination, I have so much respect for her. I learnt a lot about other people and who my true friends are during that time. And how unfortunately common it is.

She's a lot braver than I was.

DM addict

mikemac1 wrote: »

very unfair, compared to girls who are living in UK while we are expected to travel and pay.

The NHS are not going to pay for anyone who arrives on a plane.

The girl doesn't pay tax there and must pay

I never knew these were free on the NHS until this thread!

I don't think it should be free in Ireland either if introduced.

The comment about unfair costs is actually from a different woman, who lives in Northern Ireland. So pays UK taxes but still has to pay to travel for a service that is provided elsewhere in the UK.

And regards the NHS funding it - the NHS funds pretty much all legal medical procedures, including a number of elective procedures such as abortions. That's kinda how socialised healthcare works.

darced

This post has been deleted.

Gbear

skittles8710 wrote: »

Tara is a very close friend of mine. It was an extremely difficult decision for her to make. The Irish times posted an article on her story earlier on today and some of the Facebook comments were horrendous. I know you'd expect me to say this as her friend but she is genuinely one of the most selfless caring people you will ever meet. I'm not pro abortion but am glad it has got people talking about these women and the various circumstances

I'm sure she has a head on her shoulders but I hope she knows that the loudmouth pricks abusing her don't tell the whole story and that she's hugely admired and supported for both the decision she made and even more for coming out in public to talk about it.

eviltwin

darced wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

Her reasons are no one else's business and what has being in a long term relationship got to do with it?

darced

This post has been deleted.

skittles8710

eviltwin wrote: »

Her reasons are no one else's business and what has being in a long term relationship got to do with it?

I'd expect her reasons will become more apparent in the full documentary tomorrow night. I will be watching it for the first time myself and don't want to state any reasons on here that she doesn't communicate herself on the programme..

The reason I mentioned her relationship status is because I think people assume all too often that young women who get abortions are promiscuous and neglect to take proper precautions.

strobe

darced wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

Doesn't seem to have.

But I'll take a wild guess that it's because she didn't want to carry a child to term and give birth to it. :pac:*

*there should be more pacman smilies in abortion related threads. Might take the wind out of a few sails and the sting out of a few tails (that rhymes and you know it rhymes... admit it!!). If there's one thing the whole abortion debate is missing it's a bit of fvcking humour and light heartedness.


:pac:

maringo

She is only one of the thousands and thousands of Irish women who have travelled to have abortions abroad over the years. She is certainly not alone. A very courageous woman to speak out about her experience. Hope she has the strength and support to cope with the onslaught crawling out of the woodwork.

PauloMN

http://www.irishtimes.com/news/social-affairs/tara-they-shouldn-t-have-control-over-my-uterus-1.2089490

She is interviewed by BBC reporter Alys Harte before she and Steve start their 500-mile round trip, where she explains why they have chosen to terminate the pregnancy. She had been on the pill and the pregnancy was a shock. They had been saving to move to a new apartment and to take a long-haul trip the following year.

Her baby got in the way of her new apartment and a trip away.

What a sad, sad society.

Cookie_Monster

Cookie_Monster wrote: »

Can she be arrested on here return now that it's public knowledge, I'm sure there will be some quarters calling for it...

No, freedom to travel.
The Irish people voted, yes you can travel to have an abortion, but you won't have it here.
Basically, you can have one but not without extreme trauma and expense on your part.
You better feel bad, basically.

gctest50

PauloMN wrote: »

Her baby got in the way of her new apartment and a trip away.

What a sad, sad society.

The NHS don't kill babies in the UK

She terminated a pregnancy - not illegal over there ( t&c's apply before it starts)

.

skittles8710

skittles8710 wrote: »

Tara is a very close friend of mine. It was an extremely difficult decision for her to make. The Irish times posted an article on her story earlier on today and some of the Facebook comments were horrendous. I know you'd expect me to say this as her friend but she is genuinely one of the most selfless caring people you will ever meet. I'm not pro abortion but am glad it has got people talking about these women and the various circumstances

I hope you tell your friend that there are tens of thousands of people in Ireland that do not judge her, tens of thousands of women who have done exactly the same but don't have her bravery to speak publicly.
Don't let her read the abuse.

shruikan2553

PauloMN wrote: »

http://www.irishtimes.com/news/social-affairs/tara-they-shouldn-t-have-control-over-my-uterus-1.2089490



Her baby got in the way of her new apartment and a trip away.

What a sad, sad society.

I suppose you could look at it that way if it makes you feel better. I think what it meant was that they used their savings from that for the abortion because some people want abortion in Ireland to only be available if you have the money.

I recommend you read the next line.

Eutow

PauloMN wrote: »

http://www.irishtimes.com/news/social-affairs/tara-they-shouldn-t-have-control-over-my-uterus-1.2089490



Her baby got in the way of her new apartment and a trip away.

What a sad, sad society.

I find it more sad that somebody has to travel to another country to have an abortion whatever the reason.

floggg

RobYourBuilder wrote: »

Twelve women a day take the boat, it's time we stopped exporting this issue and legislate for it at home.

Why is it the all get the boat still?

Surely a Ryanair flight in and out would be cheaper and more convenient, no?

eviltwin

PauloMN wrote: »

http://www.irishtimes.com/news/social-affairs/tara-they-shouldn-t-have-control-over-my-uterus-1.2089490



Her baby got in the way of her new apartment and a trip away.

What a sad, sad society.

Nothing sad about it at all. It's sad when women are unable to travel and are forced into parenthood or take drastic measures to end the pregnancy themselves.

seventeen sheep

PauloMN wrote: »

Her baby got in the way of her new apartment and a trip away.

No.

An unplanned and unwanted pregnancy occurred. She was on the pill, which is usually a pretty foolproof method of contraception. But sh*t happens sometimes.

So they did the responsible thing, considering their circumstances and feelings, and terminated the pregnancy before a baby came into the equation.

It's just a sad state of affairs that they had to travel abroad to do so. Along with the other few thousand couples/women that are forced to do so every year.

We can't keep relying on the UK to take care of these women. It's shameful that it's gone on for so long.

skittles8710

bubblypop wrote: »

I hope you tell your friend that there are tens of thousands of people in Ireland that do not judge her, tens of thousands of women who have done exactly the same but don't have her bravery to speak publicly.
Don't let her read the abuse.

Thank you
I'll step out of this discussion now, too personal for me to continue.
Night folks

boatbuilder

Sad and barbaric that potentially on one floor of a hospital a doctor is killing an unborn baby (which involves dismembering it inside the mother) and on another floor a doctor could be battling to save a baby's life of a very similar age (23/24 weeks).

I would guess that abortion is pure selfishness in the vast majority of cases (in the UK anyway) and that a baby doesn't fit into the mother's "life plan". Problem is many people don't see foetuses as human beings. How different it would be if mothers suddenly decided they wanted to kill off their two year olds for example just because the mother feels suicidal or that they want to exert their rights to decide if they want a kid anymore or not?

When does a baby become a human? Society is messed up.

The_Valeyard

Her choice,

Pity adoption wasn't considered. lots of would be parents out there, would give there right arm to have a child. Might find out more in the documentary.

eviltwin

The_Valeyard wrote: »

Her choice,

Pity adoption wasn't considered. lots of would be parents out there, would give there right arm to have a child. Might find out more in the documentary.

Adoption is a perfectly valid solution to an unwanted baby. Not so much for an unwanted pregnancy.

Zippie84

mikemac1 wrote: »

The NHS are not going to pay for anyone who arrives on a plane.

The girl doesn't pay tax there and must pay

I never knew these were free on the NHS until this thread!

I don't think it should be free in Ireland either if introduced.

I agree.

In the UK we have the NHS. In Ireland we don't.

It doesn't really make sense to compare both in this context, and to say that it's unfair that girls can have abortions for free in UK, but not in Ireland.

marienbad

boatbuilder wrote: »

Sad and barbaric that potentially on one floor of a hospital a doctor is killing a baby and on another floor a doctor could be battling to save a baby's life of a very similar age (23/24 weeks).

I would guess that abortion is pure selfishness in the vast majority of cases (in the UK anyway) and that a baby doesn't fit into the mother's "life plan". Problem is many people don't see foetuses as human beings. How different it would be if mothers suddenly decided they wanted to kill off their two year olds for example just because the mother feels suicidal or that they want to exert their rights to decide if they want a kid anymore or not?

When does a baby become a human? Society is messed up.

Not this rubbish again, Spare me

floggg

darced wrote: »

Having an abortion is no one else's business either but she is making a Tv programme about it so what would be the point if she didnt explain her reasoning?

Thankfully it wasn't your womb though so it shouldn't be a matter that concerns you.

Zippie84

RobYourBuilder wrote: »

I'm not saying that it should be free for all. The persons financial situation should be taken into account. If and when we do legislate for it, then women won't have to pony up the costs of transport, accommodation and other incidental charges that occur when travelling. It definitely won't cost anywhere near €1,300.

Good point. And in that regard it is very unfair indeed.

boatbuilder

marienbad wrote: »

Not this rubbish again, Spare me

My points are perfectly valid. Your calling them rubbish doesn't just magically make them invalid.

PauloMN

I'd never abuse the woman for choosing to do what she did. I struggle with the notion of abortion and I don't think it would ever be an easy decision. I also think the suggestion that some might want her arrested is a ridiculous one, what would that achieve?

I do however totally disagree with abortion on demand. Unlike what we know as the "difficult" cases, I see this abortion as purely an act of convenience. I'll never understand how a person could do that purely for the reasons she gave. I'm proud of the fact we do not have abortion on demand and I hope it stays like that. I do think there can be cases where abortion may be considered but her case would most definitely not be one imo.

We don't export any "problem".