‘People think I’m the devil for having an abortion, but it’s the only option that&

RobYourBuilder · 03-02-2015 11:20PM #1

‘People think I’m the devil for having an abortion, but it’s the only option that’s right for me’

A YOUNG CORK woman has spoken out about her experience of travelling to Britain for an abortion in a new BBC documentary.

Tara has allowed the programme follow her on her journey to a clinic in Ealing, London, just two weeks after she found out she was pregnant.

The programme, ’Abortion: Ireland’s Guilty Secret?’, airs on BBC Three tomorrow evening at 9pm.

The 24-year-old is just one of the 5,000 Irish women who travel to the UK for an abortion every year.

She said she wanted to share her story publicly as it is something no one talks about.

I am sure there are people out there that think I am the devil for doing this, but I know myself that it is the only option that feels right to me right now.

Tara said being forced to travel to England for the procedure does make her feel like a criminal.

I think there is stigma attached to it as you have to leave the country for it.

She admitted she had questioned whether she was making the right decision.

At times I feel guilty… but I think I would be able to give a lot more to a child ten years down the line than I can now.

Travelling over 500 miles to have an abortion cost Tara and Steve over £1000.

I could hardly get clean… parts of my body or baby that was a part of me just coming a part inside of me, on an aeroplane – it was just horrific – very unfair, compared to girls who are living in UK while we are expected to travel and pay.

The rest of the world can see this is wrong. We are part of a western society and yet it hasn’t changed yet.

http://www.thejournal.ie/bbc-abortion-ireland-uk-1918197-Feb2015/

Very brave and courageous of her to come forward, waive her anonymity and to take part in the documentary. Braver person than I. Hopefully the documentary reasonates with some and emphasises the point that we should no longer put women through this on top of what is already a very stressful ordeal. Forcing them to travel and cough up circa €1,300 is not very humane.

Twelve women a day take the boat, it's time we stopped exporting this issue and legislate for it at home.

ancapailldorcha · 03-02-2015 11:32PM

I still can't believe women have to go abroad for this. Utterly shameful.

eviltwin · 03-02-2015 11:34PM

I've read some of the comments made about her and they are awful. That's the reason so few women can talk about it. Who wants to be judged and called a slut and a baby killer.

qt3.14 · 03-02-2015 11:35PM

I think it should be freely available up to 20 weeks, not so sure i adhere with her that should be free.

Venus In Furs · 03-02-2015 11:37PM

eviltwin wrote: »

I've read some of the comments made about her and they are awful. That's the reason so few women can talk about it. Who wants to be judged and called a slut and a baby killer.

Seriously, a "slut"... because of being in a relationship as a grown woman, and having sex with her partner. 'Kay.

super_furry · 03-02-2015 11:38PM

Her body, her choice.

Sheldons Brain · 03-02-2015 11:39PM

eviltwin wrote: »

I've read some of the comments made about her and they are awful. That's the reason so few women can talk about it. Who wants to be judged and called a slut and a baby killer.

Indeed. Slut is not appropriate and the proper term is foetus killer.

eviltwin · 03-02-2015 11:40PM

Venus In Furs wrote: »

Seriously, a "slut"... because of being in a relationship as a grown woman, and having sex with her partner. 'Kay.

That's the mentality of some people. Any woman who rejects motherhood is obviously some kind of sex crazed, liberal so she's fair game.

RobYourBuilder · 03-02-2015 11:41PM

Lads, it's the f*cking Journal. Half the people on there are anonymous wind up merchants. The other half are people who use their real name and who fall for the bait over and over again.

skittles8710 · 03-02-2015 11:41PM

Tara is a very close friend of mine. It was an extremely difficult decision for her to make. The Irish times posted an article on her story earlier on today and some of the Facebook comments were horrendous. I know you'd expect me to say this as her friend but she is genuinely one of the most selfless caring people you will ever meet. I'm not sure I agree with her choice but am glad it has got people talking about these women and the various circumstances

skittles8710 · 03-02-2015 11:43PM

RobYourBuilder wrote: »

Lads, it's the f*cking Journal. Half the people on there are anonymous wind up merchants. The other half are people who use their real name and who fall for the bait over and over again.

Much of the same on the Irish Times, The Independent etc unfortunately

03-02-2015 11:44PM

Fair play to her for coming out publicly, she has really left herself open for all kinds of abuse. I would love to think that she wouldn't get abuse, unfortunately I know she will.

I have plenty of friends who have had terminations & speak in a small circle about it but none would be willing to put themselves out for the abuse that they would get if they spoke out.

Fair play, she has my respect.

johnnyskeleton · 03-02-2015 11:44PM

RobYourBuilder wrote: »

Very brave and courageous of her to come forward, waive her anonymity and to take part in the documentary. Braver person than I. Hopefully the documentary reasonates with some and emphasises the point that we should no longer put women through this on top of what is already a very stressful ordeal. Forcing them to travel and cough up circa €1,300 is not very humane.

Twelve women a day take the boat, it's time we stopped exporting this issue and legislate for it at home.

Even if abortion on demand became available in the morning, why should she be entitled to an abortion for free or in her desired location? Should her abortion mean that maybe a poor elderly person doesnt get a bed in an emergency room?

I think abortion should be decriminalised, I dont think it should be paid for by the taxpayer where it is not done to save a life or for a rape victim etc.

mikemac1 · 03-02-2015 11:50PM

very unfair, compared to girls who are living in UK while we are expected to travel and pay.

The NHS are not going to pay for anyone who arrives on a plane.

The girl doesn't pay tax there and must pay

I never knew these were free on the NHS until this thread!

I don't think it should be free in Ireland either if introduced.

RobYourBuilder · 03-02-2015 11:50PM

johnnyskeleton wrote: »

Even if abortion on demand became available in the morning, why should she be entitled to an abortion for free or in her desired location? Should her abortion mean that maybe a poor elderly person doesnt get a bed in an emergency room?

I think abortion should be decriminalised, I dont think it should be paid for by the taxpayer where it is not done to save a life or for a rape victim etc.

I'm not saying that it should be free for all. The persons financial situation should be taken into account. If and when we do legislate for it, then women won't have to pony up the costs of transport, accommodation and other incidental charges that occur when travelling. It definitely won't cost anywhere near €1,300.

Venus In Furs · 03-02-2015 11:51PM

skittles8710 wrote: »

Much of the same on the Irish Times, The Independent etc unfortunately

Yeh the Independent can be as bad as TheJournal.ie - worse because it's moreso just wind-up merchants on TheJournal.

Mr. Incognito · 03-02-2015 11:53PM

Good for her.

Sick of the stigma and shame.

eviltwin · 03-02-2015 11:54PM

One of the reasons abortion costs so much is irish women usually have to have a surgical rather than a medical abortion. That wouldn't be so much of an issue if it was legal here.

Cookie_Monster · 03-02-2015 11:55PM

Can she be arrested on here return now that it's public knowledge, I'm sure there will be some quarters calling for it...

j80ezgvc3p92xu · 03-02-2015 11:56PM

Abortion is the ultimate exercise is selfishness - "My happiness is more important than another human being's life".

eviltwin · 03-02-2015 11:57PM

Cookie_Monster wrote: »

Can she be arrested on here return now that it's public knowledge, I'm sure there will be some quarters calling for it...

No she can't

skittles8710 · 03-02-2015 11:58PM

Venus In Furs wrote: »

Yeh the Independent can be as bad as TheJournal.ie - worse because it's moreso just wind-up merchants on TheJournal.

The Irish Times comments are as bad as any of the usual suspects.

One fact I'd like to point out that many trolls seem to be ignoring Is that she was in a long term committed relationship and was using contraception.

eviltwin · 04-02-2015 12:00AM

Kenya Most Gout wrote: »

Abortion is the ultimate exercise is selfishness - "My happiness is more important than another human being's life".

Women have abortions for all sorts of reasons. You have no right to judge.

hattoncracker · 04-02-2015 12:01AM

Being on the receiving end of the abuse that comes with sharing your experience of a termination, I have so much respect for her. I learnt a lot about other people and who my true friends are during that time. And how unfortunately common it is.

She's a lot braver than I was.

DM addict · 04-02-2015 12:01AM

mikemac1 wrote: »

very unfair, compared to girls who are living in UK while we are expected to travel and pay.

The NHS are not going to pay for anyone who arrives on a plane.

The girl doesn't pay tax there and must pay

I never knew these were free on the NHS until this thread!

I don't think it should be free in Ireland either if introduced.

The comment about unfair costs is actually from a different woman, who lives in Northern Ireland. So pays UK taxes but still has to pay to travel for a service that is provided elsewhere in the UK.

And regards the NHS funding it - the NHS funds pretty much all legal medical procedures, including a number of elective procedures such as abortions. That's kinda how socialised healthcare works.

darced · 04-02-2015 12:03AM

This post has been deleted.

Gbear · 04-02-2015 12:03AM

skittles8710 wrote: »

Tara is a very close friend of mine. It was an extremely difficult decision for her to make. The Irish times posted an article on her story earlier on today and some of the Facebook comments were horrendous. I know you'd expect me to say this as her friend but she is genuinely one of the most selfless caring people you will ever meet. I'm not pro abortion but am glad it has got people talking about these women and the various circumstances

I'm sure she has a head on her shoulders but I hope she knows that the loudmouth pricks abusing her don't tell the whole story and that she's hugely admired and supported for both the decision she made and even more for coming out in public to talk about it.

eviltwin · 04-02-2015 12:04AM

darced wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

Her reasons are no one else's business and what has being in a long term relationship got to do with it?

darced · 04-02-2015 12:08AM

This post has been deleted.

skittles8710 · 04-02-2015 12:10AM

eviltwin wrote: »

Her reasons are no one else's business and what has being in a long term relationship got to do with it?

I'd expect her reasons will become more apparent in the full documentary tomorrow night. I will be watching it for the first time myself and don't want to state any reasons on here that she doesn't communicate herself on the programme..

The reason I mentioned her relationship status is because I think people assume all too often that young women who get abortions are promiscuous and neglect to take proper precautions.

strobe · 04-02-2015 12:13AM

darced wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

Doesn't seem to have.

But I'll take a wild guess that it's because she didn't want to carry a child to term and give birth to it. :pac:*

*there should be more pacman smilies in abortion related threads. Might take the wind out of a few sails and the sting out of a few tails (that rhymes and you know it rhymes... admit it!!). If there's one thing the whole abortion debate is missing it's a bit of fvcking humour and light heartedness.

:pac:

‘People think I’m the devil for having an abortion, but it’s the only option that&

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