Weirdest chat up line

Saralee4 · 01-02-2015 08:56PM

A guy once told me 'I like your colouring'

Another came to me in a nightclub, told me he was lonely, holidaying alone, sang "losing my religion" in a karaoke bar and then told me I had a "very beautiful neck"

I legged it because I just thought "better to strangle you with my dear" !!!

I do like the cheeky funny ones though.

blinding · 01-02-2015 09:08PM

Ken ya give this number a ring I'll be in Kenya !

runinfinity · 01-02-2015 09:58PM

"Have you any land have ya?"

In a pub in Bundoran last summer. Word for word.

RayM · 01-02-2015 10:00PM

Is that a lack of serotonin in your central nervous system, or are you just unhappy to see me?

Karona · 01-02-2015 10:24PM

I like your build....

Frynge · 01-02-2015 10:29PM

(Reach into their drink and pull an ice cube from it, place on bar counter and smash it with your drink)

"Now, I've broken the ice"

AlanS181824 · 01-02-2015 10:50PM

Jimmy's Seal Laugh!

Rosie Rant · 02-02-2015 01:37PM

" You remind me of a Tellytubby."
" Uhh.. why?"
" Because you make me want to Dipsy
my Tinky-Winky in your La-La. "

FTA69 · 02-02-2015 02:03PM

eternal wrote: »

Random asshole in Kilkenny grabbing my breast on the street: 'I'd like a nice, comfortable hole to slip into.'

Pretty sure that's more sexual assault than "chat up line".

conorhal · 02-02-2015 02:10PM

runinfinity wrote: »

"Have you any land have ya?"

In a pub in Bundoran last summer. Word for word.

Amatuer. Didn't even bother to check if you had any road frontage. :rolleyes:

eternal · 02-02-2015 06:11PM

FTA69 wrote: »

Pretty sure that's more sexual assault than "chat up line".

It was a shock to the system. My breast took ages to recover.

djflawless · 02-02-2015 06:18PM

On PLC group holiday in Italy and 1 of the lads dared me to try a chat up line that was
Licking my finger and rubbing it dry on a girls top and saying "let's get you out of them wet clothes"

I was extremely drunk, spat on her jacket,, and in the creepiest voice ever said "I'd do ya!"

Apologised severely after.got the girl a drink and left...horrible!!

niallo27 · 02-02-2015 06:25PM

"Is your father in jail"

"No"

"If i was your father i'd be in jail"

Works every time.

Conall Cernach · 02-02-2015 07:05PM

eternal wrote: »

It was a shock to the system. My breast took ages to recover.

I might have to numb it for you. "Num, num, num, num, num...."

or

I better weigh them "Wayhey!"

ArnoldJRimmer · 02-02-2015 07:15PM

A guy came up to my friend, and asked where she was from. She answered 'Corofin.' He went silent for a second and said 'You've a lovely grotto.' Cue a very confused look from my friend who didn't know if that was a euphenism or if he was referring to the church in the town.

Defiler Of The Coffin · 02-02-2015 09:18PM

Have you got a mirror in your knickers? Because I can see myself in them.

razorblunt · 02-02-2015 09:28PM

a/s/l

Sheep Lover · 02-02-2015 09:34PM

You don't sweat much for a fat lass

ButtersSuki · 02-02-2015 09:41PM

From my student days - a couple of girls who were in college with me were up visiting for a few nights and on the first night I took them to Central Park (they wanted to go there as they' d heard so much about it) in Galway. So the girls and me are at the bar and two lads come up to work the magic on the laydeez. They're dressed in Caterpillar boots, Wrangler Jeans and check shirt complete with several gold chains etc. - you know the look. Opening line from the boys?

"Howiya girls, we're boys"

I practically wet myself laughing. The girls replied by stating they were both with me (lol) in an effort to move them along. I'm just over 6'6" barefoot so I'm assuming that was intended to imply moving along would be the best option (not knowing I couldn't punch my way out of a wet paper bag). One of the lads replied with:

"I don't mind sharing" and punches one of the girls in the arm whilst winking at her, causing he to spill her drink all over her white top. I thought she was going to kill him.

Ah the memories…….

TerrorFirmer · 02-02-2015 09:56PM

Saw one here awhile ago that actually took my breath away.

Him - "Is your father a thief?"

Her - :rolleyes: "Why?"

Him - "......think I ****ed him in the 'joy."

Tea-a-Maria · 03-02-2015 01:46AM

Him:Did you steal that dress?
Me:

Him: You look like Winona Ryder!

Made all the stranger by the fact that the guy who said it was in full leathers in a nite club.

ShadowHearth · 03-02-2015 03:07AM

djflawless wrote: »

On PLC group holiday in Italy and 1 of the lads dared me to try a chat up line that was
Licking my finger and rubbing it dry on a girls top and saying "let's get you out of them wet clothes"

I was extremely drunk, spat on her jacket,, and in the creepiest voice ever said "I'd do ya!"

Apologised severely after.got the girl a drink and left...horrible!!

Legend! I almost pissed myself laughing at this one!