Can you be just friends with members of the oppisite sex?

#1 · 31-01-2015 11:06PM #1

Can you be really close friends with members of the opposite sex without the following happening:

One person develops feelings
One person thinks the other person likes them
Friends assume there's other people going on between you and your friend :mad:
Accidentally sleep with them and ruin the friendship

Now it's the third option down that really bugs me. I am really good friends with some girls. They're are genuinely only friends yet everyone is insisting that there's something going on between us or that one of us wants something more. I mean I'm 30 and people still can't accept you can be friends with a girl without wanting to get into her pants.

Holsten · 31-01-2015 11:08PM

If either of you are gay, or don't find each other any way remotely attractive then sure.

Otherwise, nope.

Sir Osis of Liver. · 31-01-2015 11:08PM

Yes, you fcan.

Mr. Incognito · 31-01-2015 11:09PM

Women can.

Men cant.

Wibbs · 31-01-2015 11:09PM

Yep. So long as there is no longing on either party's part. Have been and am.

Wibbs · 31-01-2015 11:10PM

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

Women can.

Men cant.

Dunno about that Mr I.

thelad95 · 31-01-2015 11:10PM

I think if there's no feelings of any sort either way then sure as long as things don't get fúcked up by sleeping with each other. However, a lot of the time there are usually feelings of some sort from one if not both sides.

Balmed Out · 31-01-2015 11:11PM

In your thirties I'd have thought you wouldnt care what others thought. I have plenty of female friends never gone out with any but there have been isolated incidents which haven't been a problem as we were always on the same page. Would have made sure they weren't repeated too often. When yere both single the dynamics can change a bit.

bodice ripper · 31-01-2015 11:11PM

I wonder what sort of sad world some people exist in that they would believe that you can't be friends with the opposite gender.

lazygal · 31-01-2015 11:12PM

Before I got married I'd have said no, unless the other person is gay, as is my experience. Now I'm hitched I can't say I see any issue with having male friend or himself having female friends. We're in a different zone.

Gummy Panda · 31-01-2015 11:12PM

Yes you can. You just make sure you friendzone them

Menas · 31-01-2015 11:12PM

You certainly can. Not been attracted to each other is essential IMO.

wretcheddomain · 31-01-2015 11:13PM

steddyeddy wrote: »

Can you be really close friends with members of the opposite sex without the following happening:

One person develops feelings

One person thinks the other person likes them

Friends assume there's other people going on between you and your friend :mad:

Accidentally sleep with them and ruin the friendship

Now it's the third option down that really bugs me.

If your friends are that pathetic and infantile, ditch them and get some proper ones.

beertons · 31-01-2015 11:13PM

Fno.

steddyeddy · 31-01-2015 11:18PM

Balmed Out wrote: »

In your thirties I'd have thought you wouldnt care what others thought. I have plenty of female friends never gone out with any but there have been isolated incidents which haven't been a problem as we were always on the same page. Would have made sure they weren't repeated too often. When yere both single the dynamics can change a bit.

Well it's a problem because girls I do want to get with think we're together. They don't seem to accept you can be friends with a girl and not want sex.

steddyeddy · 31-01-2015 11:18PM

Gummy Panda wrote: »

Yes you can. You just make sure you friendzone them

Done :P

shuffle65 · 31-01-2015 11:20PM

It is possible, my best friend is male. He's about 10 years younger than me (age seems to be irrelevant between us, we both have the sense of humour of a 14 year old boy). We've been friends for 10 years or more, never anything sexual between us. We used to spend all our time together up until about 4 years ago when he hooked up with his girlfriend. She initially was very suspicious of me but has come to realise there's nothing to worry about. (We now are good friends). We did experience a bit of the people assuming we would eventually get together, but who cares what other people think/say? They have long since come to realise it was never going to happen.

kowloon · 31-01-2015 11:21PM

How do people accidentally sleep with friends all the time? I think I need new friends.

suicide_circus · 31-01-2015 11:21PM

It depends how potent your pheromones are

lazygal · 31-01-2015 11:22PM

kowloon wrote: »

How do people accidentally sleep with friends all the time? I think I need new friends.

Or a different definition of "accidentally sleep with."

catbear · 31-01-2015 11:25PM

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

Women can.

Men cant.

"If I had a dollar for every woman that didn't find me attractive then woman might actually start finding me attractive"

steddyeddy · 31-01-2015 11:25PM

kowloon wrote: »

How do people accidentally sleep with friends all the time? I think I need new friends.

Drink

and me looking too sexy!

suicide_circus · 31-01-2015 11:28PM

You have to watch out for the lunge

steddyeddy · 31-01-2015 11:28PM

suicide_circus wrote: »

You have to watch out for the lunge

What's that?

catallus · 31-01-2015 11:29PM

steddyeddy wrote: »

What's that?

I think he means clunge?

suicide_circus · 31-01-2015 11:30PM

steddyeddy wrote: »

What's that?

When it happens, you'll know

Wibbs · 31-01-2015 11:34PM

suicide_circus wrote: »

It depends how potent your pheromones are

Or how different they are. EG I once met a woman who physically and mentally ticked all the boxes for me and apparently it was mutual. However upon our first snog it went south. Nothing, nada in the loins. Couples match up on scent and taste at a low level on top of all the other attractants. It signals how different our immune systems are. More different, more chance of better immune systems in any kids we may have. Anyway, people with very similar immune systems are conversely less attracted to each other. They "feel" more like your sister or brother kinda thing. In that case the attraction would be near zero so friendship would be more likely the outcome.

Tarzana2 · 31-01-2015 11:34PM

Of course. How is this even a question?

catallus · 31-01-2015 11:36PM

Having sex with friends is lovely.

Tarzana2 · 31-01-2015 11:37PM

lazygal wrote: »

Before I got married I'd have said no, unless the other person is gay, as is my experience.

You had to marry to realise you can have platonic friendships with the opposite sex? That is so very odd.

Tarzana2 · 31-01-2015 11:42PM

Wibbs wrote: »

Or how different they are. EG I once met a woman who physically and mentally ticked all the boxes for me and apparently it was mutual. However upon our first snog it went south. Nothing, nada in the loins.

That happens. You fancy someone, they fancy you, clothes come off, you hop in bed... and proceed to go through the motions of the most passionless sex ever. Awful.

Don't know about the scent and immune system stuff though, sounds a wee bit pseud and airy fairy to me.

Can you be just friends with members of the oppisite sex?

Comments