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Shake my hand. No you Scumbag.

  • 29-01-2015 12:43AM
    #1
    MarkAnthony
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,934 ✭✭✭


    So I'm in the chipper after work, maybe 10pm. Sitting there in my suit and tie waiting for me fish supper. Two socioeconomically challenged gentlemen walk into the establishment and start being low level dicks. Not my problem I sit there on the stool minding my own business.

    Clearly both of them enjoy the odd tipple of more than the few beers they have in their hands. Again absolutely none of my business, but you know that habit Dublin junkies have of believing they're Oliver Bond's answer to Oscar Wilde one of them tries to engage with me over what he believes to be the shocking price of chips. I just shake my head and say 'dunno'. He walks back up to the counter and I resume my staring into space.

    His mate walks past me towards the counter and says "Don't be shaking your head at him" not referring to my previous encounter but that his mate is not on at the guy behind the counter. Being rather late my reply was rather blunt "I'm not shaking my head at him but I'll shake my head at who the f**k I like thanks."

    Anyways much squaring up and me telling them to step back later I've launched one of the scrawny ****es across the chip shop. Few mutual digs his mate decides (probably because at this point their beers are spraying everywhere coupled with the fact that I'm 6'2 and 18 stone so by sheer weight I getting the upper hand) that he's going to break it up.

    Anyway what's irking me more than the moron behind the counter not calling the guards is these Scumbags were giving out because I wouldn't shake their fecking hands. You've just assaulted (and by the way I'm fully aware of the legal definition) me because I'm in a suit and tie and you thought you could be intimidating.

    If you got to the end of this well done. Fully looking forward to some closure AH p!ss take style.


«1345678

Comments

  • #2
    Gran Hermano
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,329 ✭✭✭Gran Hermano


    So two junkies battered your sausage?


  • #3
    actuallylike
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 1,509 ✭✭✭actuallylike


    you're so cool


  • #4
    SweetChaos
    Closed Accounts Posts: 306 ✭✭SweetChaos


    MarkAnthony is Irelands version of Epic beard guy!!!! YAY


  • #5
    wretcheddomain
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,094 ✭✭✭wretcheddomain


    MarkAnthony wrote: »
    So I'm in the chipper after work, maybe 10pm...

    I'm 6'2 and 18 stone so by sheer weight I getting the upper hand) that he's going to break it up.

    You really shouldn't be ordering a portion of fish supper given the circumstances.

    It should at least have been large curry chips with four quarter pounders.


  • #6
    Sheep Lover
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,730 ✭✭✭Sheep Lover


    At 18 stone you'd want to be staying away from chippers, tubby


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  • #7
    Dr Turk Turkelton
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 3,129 ✭✭✭Dr Turk Turkelton


    Something fishy about this story op but they do sound like right Pollacks.


  • #8
    bodice ripper
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,681 ✭✭✭bodice ripper


    Why not just say "I wasn't shaking my head at him", and avoid all the unpleasantness?


  • #9
    MarkAnthony
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,934 ✭✭✭MarkAnthony


    Sheep Lover wrote: »
    At 18 stone you'd want to be staying away from chippers, tubby

    You were beaten to that one though tbh.


  • #10
    Chancer3001
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,480 ✭✭✭Chancer3001


    You're sh1t at writing.

    Read like you were the one who assaulted him first.


  • #11
    RobYourBuilder
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,541 ✭✭✭RobYourBuilder


    Again absolutely none of my business, but you know that habit Dublin junkies have of believing they're Oliver Bond's answer to Oscar Wilde one of them tries to engage with me over what he believes to be the shocking price of chips.

    All you had to do was humour him and he would have thought you a great lad altogether. "I know, man. Celtic Tiger prices during a recession, wha?"

    I bet you were condescending as f*ck to the chap.
    Two socioeconomically challenged 
    Sitting there in my suit and tie 

    You where not in the office. You where in a Dublin chipper late at night. Gotta act accordingly. Some head the ball engages you in conversation: humour them.


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  • #12
    josip
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 16,067 ✭✭✭✭josip


    One of them was probably the driver of a red car on the Drumcondra Road this morning...


  • #13
    MarkAnthony
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,934 ✭✭✭MarkAnthony


    bodice ripper wrote: »
    Why not just say "I wasn't shaking my head at him", and avoid all the unpleasantness

    You're right of course but you're stuck between the devil and the deep blue sea. Say nothing they carry on. Say what you suggest they're likely to carry on. Tell um to feck off many get the message you're not scared and may actually feck off. Having lived worked in innercity Dublin for quite some time it's not as easy as just ignoring them when you're on your own.

    Anyway that was way too serious.


  • #14
    ComfortKid
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,169 ✭✭✭ComfortKid


    With you're attitude it's a pity they didn't put you to sleep.


  • #15
    The Backwards Man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,299 ✭✭✭✭The Backwards Man


    I'm in local scoffing a single fish, a treat to myself after giving blood.

    Not a scobe in sight, you need to change your chipshop.


  • #16
    Sheep Lover
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,730 ✭✭✭Sheep Lover


    MarkAnthony wrote: »
    You were beaten to that one though tbh.

    Who cares? I fashioned the general portrayal of the situation more eloquently and less wordy.

    How were the chips after anyway?


  • #17
    MarkAnthony
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,934 ✭✭✭MarkAnthony


    RobYourBuilder wrote: »
    All you had to do was humour him and he would have thought you a great lad altogether. "I know, man. Celtic Tiger prices during a recession, wha?"

    I bet you were condescending as f*ck to the chap.


    You were not in the office. You were in a Dublin chipper late at night. Gotta act accordingly. Some head the ball engages you in conversation: humour them.

    Why the feck should I perform for a couple of scumbags. I'm just home from paying their dole and as you can read from the OP I said nothing to them so how I can condescend them is beyond me.


  • #18
    MarkAnthony
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,934 ✭✭✭MarkAnthony


    Sheep Lover wrote: »
    Who cares? I fashioned the general portrayal of the situation more eloquently and less wordy.

    How were the chips after anyway?

    How do you think they were I'm 18 stone and live 3 minutes walk from the chipper! Pretty nice.


  • #19
    Ruu
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,622 ✭✭✭Ruu


    How long did you sit there waiting for your fish and chips to realise that you have to order at the counter and not wait for someone to come along? Bet your monocle was severely disjointed!


  • #20
    DVDM93
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,144 ✭✭✭DVDM93


    I'm getting my fish at home tonight off two scumbag junkie birds ;) up ya boyya!


  • #21
    The clunge plunger
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5 ✭The clunge plunger


    Opiate his chips after that ordeal.


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  • #22
    NMB
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 314 ✭✭NMB


    chips are relative - but gorgeous in the Roma


  • #23
    NMB
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 314 ✭✭NMB


    or macari


  • #24
    RobYourBuilder
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,541 ✭✭✭RobYourBuilder


    MarkAnthony wrote: »
    Why the feck should I perform for a couple of scumbags. I'm just home from paying their dole and as you can read from the OP I said nothing to them so how I can condescend them is beyond me.

    Anything for an easy life. You wouldn't have got into a straightner if you humoured the chap. Might have had the ears waffled off you for a few minutes, mind. Still, better than getting into a fight wearing what I imagine was an expensive suit. F*ck it though. If you wanna get into unnecessary scraps, be my guest.

    There's a lot more to communication than the spoken word, btw.


  • #25
    wretcheddomain
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,094 ✭✭✭wretcheddomain


    MarkAnthony wrote: »
    How do you think they were I'm 18 stone

    Why do you feel the need to tell everyone, multiple times, that you're 18 stone?

    It's not exactly something to be proud of.


  • #26
    pablo128
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,210 ✭✭✭pablo128


    Fair fcuking play to you. I genuinely love hearing stuff like this. The more wannabe hardmen get a few smacks in the gob, the less theyll be bothering and intimidating members of the public. Well done.


  • #27
    anncoates
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,925 ✭✭✭✭anncoates


    AH: facilitating the pugilistic fantasies and torturous proletarian phobias of beleaguered students and neckbeards since, forever.


  • #28
    MRnotlob606
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,642 ✭✭✭MRnotlob606


    you should stole their heroin and shot up with your new buds in the hostel


  • #29
    Nodin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 46,938 ✭✭✭✭Nodin


    MarkAnthony wrote: »
    So I'm in the chipper after work, maybe 10pm. Sitting there in my suit and tie waiting for me fish supper. Two socioeconomically challenged gentlemen walk into the establishment and start being low level dicks. Not my problem I sit there on the stool minding my own business.
    ....................
    MarkAnthony wrote: »
    I'm just home from paying their dole and as you can read from the OP I said nothing to them so how I can condescend them is beyond me. ....................

    Ye see if you didn't make the remarks about your suit, them being "socioeconomically challenged" and being "just home from paying their dole" I'd believe you weren't being condescending at all. However.


  • #30
    Ranchu
    Closed Accounts Posts: 709 ✭✭✭Ranchu


    MarkAnthony wrote: »
    Why the feck should I perform for a couple of scumbags. I'm just home from paying their dole and as you can read from the OP I said nothing to them so how I can condescend them is beyond me.

    You pay their dole and they give you a bit of excitement on a Wednesday night. I bet you feel good to be alive after a bit of interaction with the proles.


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  • #31
    MarkAnthony
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,934 ✭✭✭MarkAnthony


    RobYourBuilder wrote: »
    Anything for an easy life. You wouldn't have got into a straightner if you humoured the chap. Might have had the ears waffled off you for a few minutes, mind. Still, better than getting into a fight wearing what I imagine was an expensive suit. F*ck it though. If you wanna get into unnecessary scraps, be my guest.

    There's a lot more to communication than the spoken word, btw.

    I'd been humouring people for 8 hours at work. Sometimes you're not in the mood. When he spoke to me I spoke back. I wasn't looking in his direction (except when speaking to him), as indicated it's none of my business what he was at until he started an altercation. Lived in the area for more than a decade never had an issue.


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