Threatened by Housemates boyfriend

gazzamc · 22-01-2015 07:11AM #1

This probably isn't the best place to post it but oh well...

Anyway, my last housemate was kicked out for being a very dirty, ignorant person so we get a new one in about a month ago.. She has a BF who has been spending most nights here and uses the electricity ect... We've over looked it cuz well we're just glad to have a normal/ clean person in the house..

So we went out together as a group last week and I got a little drunk and offered the girl some weed (Myself and a friend we're planning on smoking and I was being polite), she said no and I thought nothing of it.

We ended up talking about the previous housemate and his disgusting behaviour.. I was saying how nice it was to have someone normal and clean, I then put my arm around her and said you complete the house.. I ment it as a friendly welcome and nothing else..

So fast forward to a few hours ago (about 1.30am) and I go to the kitchen to grab a bottle of coke.. Everyone else were in their rooms (asleep I presume) and her BF is in the kitchen making something to eat.. I say hi and grab the coke about to return to my room when he calls me over..

I go over and he mentions the previous night and how I put my arm around his GF and said she completed the house.. I immediately say it meant nothing (which it didn't) and that I was only being friendly.. Then he mentions the weed.. Again I say I was only being friendly and she said no so why the issue..

I could clearly see he had something behind his back (best guess was a knife as he was buttering toast).. Then he says that when she told him what happened that he was going to go into my room and stab me in my sleep.. He then starts to move closer to me and I get a bit edgy.. I still had the 2ltr in my hands and I couldn't set it dwn or else he may get the wrong idea..

He says that if I ever offer his GF weed again he'll stab me, I say no problem it won't happen again, message received.. As I'm about to walk out he continues to move into my space (I didn't move an inch and was observing his movement, and had the coke bottle ready just I case he swung with the knife)...

Then he eagerly tries to get me to go outside to fight him.. It's really late and my housemates we're asleep so I didn't want to go outside.. Not sure if he wanted me to attack him first as he only ever moved closer.. I agree again to what he said and back up in to my room...

Anyway I'm not sure how to approach this situation, will I confront the GF or my landlady or what?

I don't take too kindly to threats, it was such a surprise I guess he caught me off guard.. Or I was in a very good mood (which I was until it happened) as I would have laced into him on any other night.. It's probably fortunate as I only spotted the knife late on..

So how will I approach this?

Any advice is appreciated, sorry for the long post.

pipelaser · 22-01-2015 07:20AM

I think you should grow up and stop smoking weed

gazzamc wrote: »

This probably isn't the best place to post it but oh well...

Anyway, my last housemate was kicked out for being a very dirty, ignorant person so we get a new one in about a month ago.. She has a BF who has been spending most nights here and uses the electricity ect... We've over looked it cuz well we're just glad to have a normal/ clean person in the house..

So we went out together as a group last week and I got a little drunk and offered the girl some weed (Myself and a friend we're planning on smoking and I was being polite), she said no and I thought nothing of it.

We ended up talking about the previous housemate and his disgusting behaviour.. I was saying how nice it was to have someone normal and clean, I then put my arm around her and said you complete the house.. I ment it as a friendly welcome and nothing else..

So fast forward to a few hours ago (about 1.30am) and I go to the kitchen to grab a bottle of coke.. Everyone else were in their rooms (asleep I presume) and her BF is in the kitchen making something to eat.. I say hi and grab the coke about to return to my room when he calls me over..

I go over and he mentions the previous night and how I put my arm around his GF and said she completed the house.. I immediately say it meant nothing (which it didn't) and that I was only being friendly.. Then he mentions the weed.. Again I say I was only being friendly and she said no so why the issue..

I could clearly see he had something behind his back (best guess was a knife as he was buttering toast).. Then he says that when she told him what happened that he was going to go into my room and stab me in my sleep.. He then starts to move closer to me and I get a bit edgy.. I still had the 2ltr in my hands and I couldn't set it dwn or else he may get the wrong idea..

He says that if I ever offer his GF weed again he'll stab me, I say no problem it won't happen again, message received.. As I'm about to walk out he continues to move into my space (I didn't move an inch and was observing his movement, and had the coke bottle ready just I case he swung with the knife)...

Then he eagerly tries to get me to go outside to fight him.. It's really late and my housemates we're asleep so I didn't want to go outside.. Not sure if he wanted me to attack him first as he only ever moved closer.. I agree again to what he said and back up in to my room...

Anyway I'm not sure how to approach this situation, will I confront the GF or my landlady or what?

I don't take too kindly to threats, it was such a surprise I guess he caught me off guard.. Or I was in a very good mood (which I was until it happened) as I would have laced into him on any other night.. It's probably fortunate as I only spotted the knife late on..

So how will I approach this?

Any advice is appreciated, sorry for the long post.

gazzamc · 22-01-2015 07:22AM

pipelaser wrote: »

I think you should grow up and stop smoking weed

I smoke the odd time. So threatening ppl with knives is what grown ups do?

Kirby · 22-01-2015 07:23AM

Well you offered his girlfriend drugs and then got all touchy feely with her. Frankly, you deserved a talking to but if he did threaten to stab you and you aren't just making that bit up, you need to deal with it.

Tell her about what happened and then explain to her that he isn't allowed back in the house. If she has a problem with that, which she probably will, then she'll have to find somewhere else to live.

The upside of this is you wont be stabbed by some nutter. The downside is that he'll probably deny it and you are the one that will end up looking like some drama queen nutcase.

scudzilla · 22-01-2015 07:23AM

Ride his GF, you're gonna get stabbed in the end anyway so may as well get your hole

AnotherYear · 22-01-2015 07:27AM

Ring the gards. Get him removed from the house. Threatening to stab someone is mental. It's your house too, not his

gazzamc · 22-01-2015 07:29AM

Kirby wrote: »

Well you offered his girlfriend drugs and then got all touchy feely with her. Frankly, you deserved a talking to but if he did threaten to stab you and you aren't just making that bit up, you need to deal with it.

Tell her about what happened and then explain to her that he isn't allowed back in the house. If she has a problem with that, which she probably will, then she'll have to find somewhere else to live.

The upside of this is you wont be stabbed by some nutter. The downside is that he'll probably deny it and you are the one that will end up looking like some drama queen nutcase.

Well one of the housemates has a room next to the kitchen so I'll ask him if he over heard anything.. We've only just realised how on the edge the guy is about his GF living with 2 guys.. Which I presume is why he sleeps over.. Btw she isn't the only girl in the house.

I didn't really get touch feely with her.. If she thinks I was coming on to her she want to get over herself... Gonna say it tomorrow and see what happens.

BetterThanThou · 22-01-2015 07:29AM

I'd recommend talking to his girlfriend, and if that doesn't help or you don't like her response, go straight to the land lady, this type of behaviour at all, never mind in a house that he's a guest in is not acceptable. Offering someone a bit of pot or putting your arm around her in a friendly way is nothing wrong.

Markcheese · 22-01-2015 07:30AM

BetterThanThou wrote: »

I'd recommend talking to his girlfriend, and if that doesn't help or you don't like her response, go straight to the land lady, this type of behaviour at all, never mind in a house that he's a guest in is not acceptable.

+ keep your door locked -

gazzamc · 22-01-2015 07:31AM

AnotherYear wrote: »

Ring the gards. Get him removed from the house. Threatening to stab someone is mental. It's your house too, not his

I rather not get the Gards involved yet..

Sofiztikated · 22-01-2015 07:31AM

First off, what good would "lacing into him" do? Get that shíte out of your head.

Now, to the problem. I'd bring it up with the girlfriend. Obviously it's a problem that he has. You were being nice and welcoming, although possibly a little over friendly with the hug/arm thing, some people can get a bit weird about that.

AnotherYear · 22-01-2015 07:33AM

gazzamc wrote: »

I rather not get the Gards involved yet..

Ok but I would wait until he's gone before telling his gf what happened. She will contact him straight away and he might land worked up so have a plan in order if u need it. Someone who's threatens to stab you is not someone to take lightly.

gazzamc · 22-01-2015 07:36AM

Sofiztikated wrote: »

First off, what good would "lacing into him" do? Get that shíte out of your head.

Now, to the problem. I'd bring it up with the girlfriend. Obviously it's a problem that he has. You were being nice and welcoming, although possibly a little over friendly with the hug/arm thing, some people can get a bit weird about that.

Nothing good, which is why I'm glad I didn't.. It felt like the guy was trying to play the hard man, maybe prove something idk... I honestly didn't think anything of it and regret it now, she was moved in about a month and we seemed to be getting on well.. Maybe I overstepped but I rather she told me herself..

henryporter · 22-01-2015 07:38AM

Sounds like the GF has her hands full with that juvenile possessive lunatic. If he's living there full time and you still want to put up with that he should be made pay his share of rent and overhead - maybe that's a polite way of telling them to move on. I would also seriously consider mentioning it to the guards (if you know any maybe get one to drop in and have a 'chat' with him). The guy sounds seriously messed up and there's been plenty of cases in recent years of young dumb guys without the emotional intelligence to deal with normal life going round stabbing people.

That or you could hide behind the door when he comes in this evening and get the drop on him first

gazzamc · 22-01-2015 07:42AM

henryporter wrote: »

Sounds like the GF has her hands full with that juvenile possessive lunatic. If he's living there full time and you still want to put up with that he should be made pay his share of rent and overhead - maybe that's a polite way of telling them to move on. I would also seriously consider mentioning it to the guards (if you know any maybe get one to drop in and have a 'chat' with him). The guy sounds seriously messed up and there's been plenty of cases in recent years of young dumb guys without the emotional intelligence to deal with normal life going round stabbing people.

That or you could hide behind the door when he comes in this evening and get the drop on him first

He seems pretty possessive, had her go home early the night we went out and interrogated my friend who walked her home.

I'm not from the area so don't know any guards, there is a station about 5 mins down te road though.. I'll be honest I haven't slept tonight, don't really feel safe in the house.. It could be shock too I suppose..

Sofiztikated · 22-01-2015 07:42AM

Wait til he's not there, and ask yer wan, "What's the craic with Stabby McStabberson? Has he ever stabbed anyone?"

gazzamc · 22-01-2015 07:44AM

Sofiztikated wrote: »

Wait til he's not there, and ask yer wan, "What's the craic with Stabby McStabberson? Has he ever stabbed anyone?"

Lol I knew moving to stab city was a bad idea.. Might get me one of those stab prove vests.

BetterThanThou · 22-01-2015 07:44AM

Pay me 3 million and you won't have to deal with him again.

Kim Kardashi Un · 22-01-2015 07:48AM

Rewatch Home Alone and rig up the house before he comes round.

pipelaser · 22-01-2015 08:02AM

gazzamc wrote: »

I smoke the odd time. So threatening ppl with knifes is what grown ups do?

Do you try to deal or "offer" it to people too?
If the OP behaves like a scobe, the chances are he'll get into situations like this, with other scobes.

Sofiztikated · 22-01-2015 08:03AM

pipelaser wrote: »

Do you try to deal or "offer" it to people too?
If the OP behaves like a scobe, the chances are he'll get into situations like this, with other scobes.

Oh will you get over yourself?

salamanca22 · 22-01-2015 08:03AM

pipelaser wrote: »

Do you try to deal or "offer" it to people too?
If the OP behaves like a scobe, the chances are he'll get into situations like this, with other scobes.

That's just like, your opinion, man.

csallmighty · 22-01-2015 08:04AM

Hide all the knives first before any confrontation

Spook_ie · 22-01-2015 08:08AM

gazzamc wrote: »

This probably isn't the best place to post it but oh well...

Anyway, my last housemate was kicked out for being a very dirty, ignorant person so we get a new one in about a month ago.. She has a BF who has been spending most nights here and uses the electricity ect... We've over looked it cuz well we're just glad to have a normal/ clean person in the house..

So we went out together as a group last week and I got a little drunk and offered the girl some weed (Myself and a friend we're planning on smoking and I was being polite), she said no and I thought nothing of it.

We ended up talking about the previous housemate and his disgusting behaviour.. I was saying how nice it was to have someone normal and clean, I then put my arm around her and said you complete the house.. I ment it as a friendly welcome and nothing else..

So fast forward to a few hours ago (about 1.30am) and I go to the kitchen to grab a bottle of coke.. Everyone else were in their rooms (asleep I presume) and her BF is in the kitchen making something to eat.. I say hi and grab the coke about to return to my room when he calls me over..

I go over and he mentions the previous night and how I put my arm around his GF and said she completed the house.. I immediately say it meant nothing (which it didn't) and that I was only being friendly.. Then he mentions the weed.. Again I say I was only being friendly and she said no so why the issue..

I could clearly see he had something behind his back (best guess was a knife as he was buttering toast).. Then he says that when she told him what happened that he was going to go into my room and stab me in my sleep.. He then starts to move closer to me and I get a bit edgy.. I still had the 2ltr in my hands and I couldn't set it dwn or else he may get the wrong idea..

He says that if I ever offer his GF weed again he'll stab me, I say no problem it won't happen again, message received.. As I'm about to walk out he continues to move into my space (I didn't move an inch and was observing his movement, and had the coke bottle ready just I case he swung with the knife)...

Then he eagerly tries to get me to go outside to fight him.. It's really late and my housemates we're asleep so I didn't want to go outside.. Not sure if he wanted me to attack him first as he only ever moved closer.. I agree again to what he said and back up in to my room...

Anyway I'm not sure how to approach this situation, will I confront the GF or my landlady or what?

I don't take too kindly to threats, it was such a surprise I guess he caught me off guard.. Or I was in a very good mood (which I was until it happened) as I would have laced into him on any other night.. It's probably fortunate as I only spotted the knife late on..

So how will I approach this?

Any advice is appreciated, sorry for the long post.

Well if he was using slightly salted butter on his toast you could always have him done for "a salt an buttery"

I'll get me coat!

mikemac1 · 22-01-2015 08:12AM

Why do people think it's acceptable to rent a room and then move their lover in with them.

A few nights per week is fine but this is every night

The pair of them are taking the OP and his housemates for fools

Demand money for bills from them and inform the landlady and she can decide if she wants more rent money

gazzamc · 22-01-2015 08:18AM

mikemac1 wrote: »

Why do people think it's acceptable to rent a room and then move their lover in with them. A few nights per week is fine but this is every night

The pair of them are taking the OP and his housemates for fools

Demand money for bills from them and inform the landlady and she can decide if she wants more rent money

I was actually contiplating on whether to mention this to the rest (and see if it was mutual), I didn't mind the odd day or two but every night is ridiculous, especially when he comes in at all hours of the night makes a lot of noise

He also parks his car in the driveway and leaves it there all night blocking my housemates way out (if she wants to drive anywhere)

Greenmachine · 22-01-2015 08:19AM

mikemac1 wrote: »

Why do people think it's acceptable to rent a room and then move their lover in with them. A few nights per week is fine but this is every night

The pair of them are taking the OP and his housemates for fools

Demand money for bills from them and inform the landlady and she can decide if she wants more rent money

Every night is taking the p***. I had similare issuess as the OP, housemate moving their partner in, not the weed issues, or stabby staberson thing.
Firstly moving someone into a house share without asking is ridiculous. Breach of trust, people not comfortable in their won home, increased wear and tear, higher utility bills, couple taking over the common area. Paying more for less enjoyment and peaceful living in your own home etc. I won't even go into the threats, clearly not the way to behave. OP if you were pretty wasted maybe you were not even aware of imposing on this new girls boundaries, a little ironic considering, the fact you appear to now live with too new housemates, inadvertently. If this guy wasn't worried about the house share situation, he certainly will be now.

If he is the jealous, controlling type, if your new HM gave him the boot, he may not take not take the hint. Welcome to shared living.

22-01-2015 08:21AM

I'm so glad I've never had to share a house with strangers

Get them both out of the house pronto OP. You can't be living scared in your own home ffs.

K4t · 22-01-2015 08:23AM

Kirby wrote: »

Well you offered his girlfriend drugs and then got all touchy feely with her. Frankly, you deserved a talking to but if he did threaten to stab you and you aren't just making that bit up, you need to deal with it.

By the boyfriend? Can she not speak for herself? Or is she as you say yourself "his"?

pipelaser wrote: »

I think you should grow up and stop smoking weed

Irony alert.

My advice would be explain what happened to your female housemate (the bf can be present) and explain that his behaviour is unacceptable and if he does it again you'll be on to the landlady.

22-01-2015 08:24AM

Buy a sword OP.

That'll show his butter knife

Fuzzytrooper · 22-01-2015 08:27AM

rarnes1 wrote: »

Buy a sword OP.

That'll show his butter knife

That only works if you challenge him to a duel.

Threatened by Housemates boyfriend

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