How to annoy your wedding guests. MOD WARNING POST # 1

candytog · 08-01-2015 06:13PM

whiskeyman wrote: »

Ensure your favours are sickly over worked and too personal.

Provide measly helpings of canapés when your guests arrive. On your wedding day, it's the one day everyone can do without a lunch of any kind.

Have a sign banning people from uploading any photos onto their social media*
* unless the flashmob requires this.

When inviting good friends, don't invite their partner. Sure, you don't really know them anyway...

If the venue is out in the middle of nowhere, don't for a second think about how people will make their way back to local hotels / B&Bs.

Just as everyone is really enjoying themselves, get one of your bridal parter to gather everyone outside (bonus points if it's freezing / raining!) for a group shot where you really can't make out everyone anyway.

This at least prevents those people who insist on standing in the aisle blocking the videographer as the bride walks down.

Sunny Dayz · 08-01-2015 06:26PM

The bridal party must travel miles in the opposite direction of the church and hotel for photographs at this amazing location, leaving everyone waiting around the hotel lobby for hours with tea and bickies for company.

Bride is allowed to have a hissy fit if not everyone is waiting in the freezing cold outside the hotel for her arrival in the wedding car while she has been away having the photos done.

Sunny Dayz · 08-01-2015 06:28PM

Have actually hear of a wedding where the bridal party went away somewhere for photos, then afterwards stopped in a pub for a few drinks. Everyone including the hotel were wondering where they were. They arrived late for the dinner sitting and then (I think) had the speeches before the meal.

Flem31 · 08-01-2015 06:51PM

Invite far too many guests to fit in one reception room so a second smaller room is needed for the overflow.
Then let the wedding video guy send live pictures to a tv in other room during the speeches.

Classy or what

angel eyes 2012 · 08-01-2015 07:16PM

Have a boring church service that you think is 'special & unique'. Make your guests sit through it even though the majority never go to mass including the bride & groom. Even more hypocritical when the couple are living together which is a major no no in the Church's eyes. 'ButMary & John did the brain washing course & they didn't eat meat on Good Friday therefore it doesn't matter that they live in sin and never go to mass' !

westernlass · 08-01-2015 07:16PM

Feeling so much better about our wedding after reading this.

Another one is for the bride to get so drunk she can't stay awake through the band. I've seen a lot of drunk couple photos as they started drinking far too early.

No. 1 that annoys me is long speeches.

Gee_G · 08-01-2015 07:59PM

Reading out wedding cards at the speeches...from your next door neighbor who couldn't make it!!!

lazygal · 08-01-2015 08:03PM

angel eyes 2012 wrote: »

Have a boring church service that you think is 'special & unique'. Make your guests sit through it even though the majority never go to mass including the bride & groom. Even more hypocritical when the couple are living together which is a major no no in the Church's eyes. 'ButMary & John did the brain washing course & they didn't eat meat on Good Friday therefore it doesn't matter that they live in sin and never go to mass' !

When couples gush how "personal and meaningful" their typical mass with a wedding ceremony in the middle was I internally roll my eyes. Every church wedding service is the same, even with a gospel choir or down with the kids priest.

CBFi · 08-01-2015 08:26PM

This thread is very entertaining but it does just serves to prove what people say: that you can't keep everyone happy - you just have to do what you want.

I work in event management and people are not nearly as critical of corporate events than they are weddings even if they take the same basic format (drinks reception, meal, speeches, photos, etc) - it's just something about weddings that rub people the wrong way!

fits · 08-01-2015 08:41PM

PhoenixParker wrote: »

For 3 points - have your wedding in a location in Ireland neither the bride, nor the groom are from & where they've never lived
Bonus 1 points - if no one attending the wedding lives within an hours drive of the venue
Bonus 2 points - if no one attending the wedding lives within two hours drive of the venue
etc.

1 point for a wedding on a Friday
2 points for a wedding on a Thursday
3 points for a wedding on a Monday - Wednesday
Bonus 2 points - if it's during term time & on a weekday (university/primary or secondary)

Woohoo, we score seven points!

CarpeDiem85 · 08-01-2015 08:43PM

Have a huge wedding and invite over 300 guests to come. Invite all 7 of your family + partners, also invite your 16 month child to come too. Don't inform guests that there is no seating plan and it's a free for all to scramble for a seat. I ended up sitting with the bride's family on Table 1 with my baby on my own while the rest of my family were scattered everywhere. Some didn't even get to sit with their partners! It was really uncomfortable. Have a seating plan, especially if you're planning a huge wedding!

westernlass · 08-01-2015 08:46PM

CarpeDiem85 wrote: »

Have a huge wedding and invite over 300 guests to come. Invite all 7 of your family + partners, also invite your 16 month child to come too. Don't inform guests that there is no seating plan and it's a free for all to scramble for a seat. I ended up sitting with the bride's family on Table 1 with my baby on my own while the rest of my family were scattered everywhere. Some didn't even get to sit with their partners! It was really uncomfortable. Have a seating plan, especially if you're planning a huge wedding!

We are having escort cards. Basically ten names per table and sit in whatever order you want at that table

Slang_Tang · 08-01-2015 08:48PM

Don't have a seating plan for dinner because "you don't want to risk upsetting anyone", so five minutes before the dinner bell your venue ends up looking like the stampede from The Lion King. Classy!

fits · 08-01-2015 08:50PM

CBFi wrote: »

This thread is very entertaining but it does just serves to prove what people say: that you can't keep everyone happy - you just have to do what you want.

I work in event management and people are not nearly as critical of corporate events than they are weddings even if they take the same basic format (drinks reception, meal, speeches, photos, etc) - it's just something about weddings that rub people the wrong way!

Ain't that the truth.

Sunhill · 08-01-2015 09:04PM

pwurple wrote: »

This one possibly just annoys me... but when the bride gets so much make-up, tan and changes her hair so dramatically (colour, length, curls) that I'm confused whether it's actually her and I'm at the right wedding!

... and when the groom is wondering the same thing!

clint_silver · 08-01-2015 09:33PM

Dont have your wedding in a venue where the bar is not in the same room as the music. bye bye to half the guests.

Dont send invites with little sparkles or the like in them. I get the bride is excited but the cuteness lasts about as long as it took for the sparkles to be noticed as they fell out of the envelope and before they hit the carpet and I realised I had to get the hoover out. Once wasnt bad on tiles but the second time I got these I was still finding them stuck in carpet months later, I HATED that wedding, the sparkles were just an omen of things to come as we drove 100 miles cross the country to that wedding venue that was anything but the idyllic setting it was supposed to have been. :mad::mad::mad::mad: (Im not bitter I swear)

If you want to have fireworks, make sure they resemble something like new years eve in sydney, otherwise they will not have the effect you were hoping for on the 150 people who were trooped out of the bar to the freezing cold for the 18 seconds that they lasted.

candytog · 08-01-2015 09:41PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzKfcaKCevk

I'm surprised this hasn't been mentioned yet

Zaph · 08-01-2015 09:49PM

westernlass wrote: »

No. 1 that annoys me is long speeches.

Gee_G wrote: »

Reading out wedding cards at the speeches...from your next door neighbor who couldn't make it!!!

I was at a wedding once where the speeches went on for over two and a quarter hours, a fair chunk of that time being taken up with the groomsmen and bridesmaids all having a go at awkwardly reading out the vast number of cards that were received. It also featured the priest, a close family friend of the bride, making a speech that was literally a year-by-year chronological account of her life from when he christened her up to the wedding. That was a good half hour on its own before you got around to all the other speeches. At one stage I thought it was only a matter of time before it was my turn.

Tzardine · 08-01-2015 09:49PM

I am getting married in July. I think I am guilty of a few of the above. Namely.

We are getting married in Spain. In the north, so it won't even be warm. And the flights are Tuesday only.
It's on a Wednesday.
The mass will be in Spanish.
Food will be rustic, Basque dishes.
No band.
No dancing.

And I can't wait. It's my perfect wedding

Chuck the rest of them

(It's actually just our immediate family so everybody is looking forward to it)

BabysCoffee · 08-01-2015 09:52PM

Bridesmaid needs to set up bank account for hen.

All invited to hen must be instructed to lodge €20 in to said account in order to attend a party in hens house.

Tarzana2 · 08-01-2015 10:25PM

CarpeDiem85 wrote: »

Have a huge wedding and invite over 300 guests to come. Invite all 7 of your family + partners, also invite your 16 month child to come too. Don't inform guests that there is no seating plan and it's a free for all to scramble for a seat. I ended up sitting with the bride's family on Table 1 with my baby on my own while the rest of my family were scattered everywhere. Some didn't even get to sit with their partners! It was really uncomfortable. Have a seating plan, especially if you're planning a huge wedding!

Disagree that a seating plan is always needed, though the size of the wedding would matter too.

My sis had no seating plan at hers and I LOVED it! Felt far less stilted. It seemed to go down well, though I'm sure some would have preferred set seating. I've been wanting someone to ditch the seating plan at a wedding I'm invited to for years, and it finally happened. She only had 70 people though so I don't know what 300 would be like. But seating plans aren't always the way to go, IMO.

Tarzana2 · 08-01-2015 10:28PM

Tzardine wrote: »

We are getting married in Spain. In the north, so it won't even be warm.

In July it'll be warm everywhere in Spain, it's high summer.

An Claidheamh · 08-01-2015 10:40PM

angel eyes 2012 wrote: »

Have a boring church service that you think is 'special & unique'. Make your guests sit through it even though the majority never go to mass including the bride & groom. Even more hypocritical when the couple are living together which is a major no no in the Church's eyes. 'ButMary & John did the brain washing course & they didn't eat meat on Good Friday therefore it doesn't matter that they live in sin and never go to mass' !

I'd say you're great craic.

Flem31 · 08-01-2015 10:43PM

Parents reciting their own poetry about the Bride or Groom always a crowdpleaser.
And because it's from a loved who cares if it doesn't rhyme or makes Paradise Lost look short.

You're not Shakespeare....get off the stage .......................apologies, bad flashbacks:)

lazygal · 08-01-2015 10:44PM

An Claidheamh wrote: »

I'd say you're great craic.

Yeah when I'm looking for the craic nothing beats mass with a wedding ceremony shoved in the middle of it, with people who've never followed the teachings anyway.

Flem31 · 08-01-2015 10:49PM

Wonder when it will be ok to use Skype as a means to attend a wedding.
Then travelling abroad by distant relatives is no longer an issue, but as they "attended" the wedding they will still feel obligated to send a gift.

An Claidheamh · 08-01-2015 10:50PM

lazygal wrote: »

Yeah when I'm looking for the craic nothing beats mass with a wedding ceremony shoved in the middle of it, with people who've never followed the teachings anyway.

Have you tried not going then? Might be more craic.

SpaceRocket · 08-01-2015 10:54PM

Hosting a wedding on Valentines day, but not offering guests a "plus one" so they can bring their other halves.

Yes, your wedding is really important, but (surprise surprise) some people wish to spend valentines day with their partner!

lazygal · 08-01-2015 10:55PM

An Claidheamh wrote: »

Have you tried not going then? Might be more craic.

I want to see my friends get married. They know how I feel about their boring church ceremonies. Often they say themselves it's a heap of nonsense but they have them for a quiet life.

An Claidheamh · 08-01-2015 10:57PM

lazygal wrote: »

I want to see my friends get married. They know how I feel about their boring church ceremonies. Often they say themselves it's a heap of nonsense but they have them for a quiet life.

Well of course, it's all about how you feel .... at their wedding. :rolleyes:

How to annoy your wedding guests. **MOD WARNING POST # 1**

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How to annoy your wedding guests. MOD WARNING POST # 1