How to annoy your wedding guests. MOD WARNING POST # 1

08-01-2015 04:53PM

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lazygal wrote: »

Have wine only for the top table at dinner. .

Ah no way, who does that??!!!!

Gee_G · 08-01-2015 04:55PM

I was reading the whole thread hoping I hadn't done any of the above as part of my planning!!:)
Some of them are HILARIOUS!!

jack presley · 08-01-2015 04:56PM

Surely Pachebel's Canon as the entrance music has been done to death at this stage?

Neyite · 08-01-2015 05:00PM

Esterhase wrote: »

Plan the big no kids allowed event to happen on a weekday, during a school term, in another country, and throw a wobbly when the guests decline their invitations.

But sure why would they not come, they can make a holiday out of it! :rolleyes:

FYP.

sweetie · 08-01-2015 05:00PM

Don't have blow up instruments on the dancefloor. The guests are adults, not montessori kids.

Lisha · 08-01-2015 05:03PM

When myself and my friend was typing my mass booklet she asked me 'what readings have you picked?' I hadn't a clue and just copied and pasted from the booklet we were basing (ie copying and change big wedding party names) my mass booklet on.
10yrs later my mother still goes on about how she hates that reading from the book of Ruth about the wife now being buried with the husbands people! Makes me laugh as I picked it as it was a short reading .

Lucena · 08-01-2015 05:05PM

Book a week’s holiday in a city in a foreign country, and invite some friends along. When very few of the friends decide to come along, have the word leak out that you’re actually going to get married while over there and were really hoping all your friends could be there for your "surprise" wedding.

Cue people jumping through hoops paying through the nose for flights, accommodation, getting suits and dresses sorted etc.

Cue other friends who are p1ssed off at not being able to go, but would have been able to if only they’d been told a lot earlier and now it’s too late to get time off work.

pwurple · 08-01-2015 05:18PM

Wedding invitations that pour glitter onto my breakfast.

Chair covers. People given the task of making sure nothing is put on the back of the chairs... trying to move your chair with a chair cover on it. Bows, or decorations on chair covers getting tangled in your own outfit.

candytog · 08-01-2015 05:23PM

This thread is brilliant, all you have to do to have a perfect wedding is read this and take notes!!

pwurple · 08-01-2015 05:24PM

This one possibly just annoys me... but when the bride gets so much make-up, tan and changes her hair so dramatically (colour, length, curls) that I'm confused whether it's actually her and I'm at the right wedding!

jack presley · 08-01-2015 05:26PM

candytog wrote: »

This thread is brilliant, all you have to do to have a perfect wedding is read this and take notes!!

Or you can breath a sigh of relief if you're already married and didn't do any of the things listed

jack presley · 08-01-2015 05:27PM

pwurple wrote: »

This one possibly just annoys me... but when the bride gets so much make-up, tan and changes her hair so dramatically (colour, length, curls) that I'm confused whether it's actually her and I'm at the right wedding!

You can't beat an orange faced bride

Wabbit Ears · 08-01-2015 05:29PM

I was at a wedding where orange face herself was marking literally everything she touched, brushed off or kissed!!

An Bhanríon · 08-01-2015 05:30PM

I love that letter about love from St. Paul to the Corinthians. Sorry if I offended anyone's ears by having it at my wedding mass...

To add to the list of annoying things, my one is running out of wine at the meal and having nothing to toast the bride and groom with if the speeches are after the meal!

sunshine and showers · 08-01-2015 05:32PM

I've only been to two weddings, both as a child.

Reading these I can't wait to get onto the wedding circuit...

CaraMay · 08-01-2015 05:39PM

Neyite wrote: »

Find a priest that has a hat fetish.

Ensure he makes several lewd remarks about how hats 'get him going' during the ceremony making it clear to all and sundry that he is very likely turned on.

There was a poor take up of communion at that wedding, especially among us women with hats : D

The best one i ever heard and its 100% true. We were at a wedding and my friend went up for communion. She knew the priest a little bit as she worked with his sister. After the mass she met him outside and he said to her "when you came up for communion i said 'body of Christ' but I meant 'Christ what a body!'"

Not classy! This was after him rambling on about how much the bride looked like jennifer Anniston and how much he liked jennifer Anniston. Sleaze personified.

CaraMay · 08-01-2015 05:42PM

Brides arriving late is so obnoxious. Anything more than 20 minutes is so rude.

Also the couple not speaking to every table is very annoying.

candytog · 08-01-2015 05:45PM

CaraMay wrote: »

Brides arriving late is so obnoxious. Anything more than 20 minutes is so rude.

Also the couple not speaking to every table is very annoying.

In fairness the bride being late is often not the brides fault!

It's those damn photographers and video guys holding everything up

sunshine and showers · 08-01-2015 05:49PM

candytog wrote: »

In fairness the bride being late is often not the brides fault!

It's those damn photographers and video guys holding everything up

My mam was late to her wedding because her car didn't show up! Cue hasty scrambling for a taxi in a town I don't think taxis were prevalent in in 1989. Best man wound my dad up saying she wasn't coming!

candytog · 08-01-2015 05:53PM

sunshine and showers wrote: »

My mam was late to her wedding because her car didn't show up! Cue hasty scrambling for a taxi in a town I don't think taxis were prevalent in in 1989. Best man wound my dad up saying she wasn't coming!

Also, if the bride did arrive on time the church would be half empty!

ukoda · 08-01-2015 05:55PM

Telling people dinner is at 6 but not mentioning the speeches are before the meal, theres nothing worse than being called for "dinner" and sitting down thinking "yay I'm finally being fed!" only to be told the speeches are first. The only thing on the table was a thing of butter and i was very close to eating it

MsBubbles · 08-01-2015 05:56PM

Arrive 20 minutes late. Our Ceremony was 20 minutes late because we were waiting on my uncle and aunt to arrive. We were waiting in the lobby of the hotel like two wallies

Wabbit Ears · 08-01-2015 05:57PM

ukoda wrote: »

Telling people dinner is at 6 but not mentioning the speeches are before the meal, theres nothing worse than being called for "dinner" and sitting down thinking "yay I'm finally being fed!" only to be told the speeches are first. The only thing on the table was a thing of butter and i was very close to eating it

Especially when you haven't eaten in 6 hrs bar a cracker and already half cut.

iDave · 08-01-2015 05:57PM

Only serve sweet canapés

CaraMay · 08-01-2015 05:57PM

MsBubbles wrote: »

My Ceremony was 20 minutes late because we were waiting on my uncle and aunt to arrive .

The last 3 weddings I was at, the brides were over an hour late and had various excuses.

MsBubbles · 08-01-2015 05:59PM

Wow. That's unbelievable. We had a clause in the contract with our Celebrant that he would wait no longer than 15 minutes so I was freaking out

xalot · 08-01-2015 06:02PM

CaraMay wrote: »

Brides arriving late is so obnoxious. Anything more than 20 minutes is so rude.

Also the couple not speaking to every table is very annoying.

I never expect the bride and groom to do the table to table thing, it always feels very forced. If I dont get to speak to the bride and groom during the day, big deal, the important thing is that they enjoy themselves. I always think it's a pity to see the bride and groom going from table to table when they should be spending the day together.

Sunny Dayz · 08-01-2015 06:02PM

sweetie wrote: »

Don't have blow up instruments on the dancefloor. The guests are adults, not montessori kids.

Ah we did that - my friends' dad's are the biggest kids ever! They brought them home with them!!

CaraMay · 08-01-2015 06:03PM

xalot wrote: »

I never expect the bride and groom to do the table to table thing, it always feels very forced. If I dont get to speak to the bride and groom during the day, big deal, the important thing is that they enjoy themselves. I always think it's a pity to see the bride and groom going from table to table when they should be spending the day together.

Gosh I think they should pass themselves and say hi to the people who came...

whiskeyman · 08-01-2015 06:03PM

Ensure your favours are sickly over worked and too personal.

Provide measly helpings of canapés when your guests arrive. On your wedding day, it's the one day everyone can do without a lunch of any kind.

Have a sign banning people from uploading any photos onto their social media*
* unless the flashmob requires this.

When inviting good friends, don't invite their partner. Sure, you don't really know them anyway...

If the venue is out in the middle of nowhere, don't for a second think about how people will make their way back to local hotels / B&Bs.

Just as everyone is really enjoying themselves, get one of your bridal parter to gather everyone outside (bonus points if it's freezing / raining!) for a group shot where you really can't make out everyone anyway.

How to annoy your wedding guests. **MOD WARNING POST # 1**

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How to annoy your wedding guests. MOD WARNING POST # 1