Housemate issue

Hi all,

Really sorry about the long windedness of what I’m about to post but I’m probably not going to be able to post very often in this thread, so I thought I better make all salient points right away to leave no questions.

I moved in with a couple to a 2 bed apartment not so long ago, so it was just the three of us. They were really nice people, but I felt like a bit of a third wheel. Therefore, when they moved out (emigrated for work) I decided to search for just one person to share the place with. Unfortunately, this left the rent a bit high but I said it would be worth it.

A lot of couples applied for the double room, saying that it would be nice and cheap to split the rent/bills/deposit three ways rather than two ways. I was a bit tempted because I’m not exactly rolling in cash, but I was determined to avoid that awkwardness. All of the applicants except two women were couples. One woman said that she’d be working nights, and I felt that this would work well as we would have the place to ourselves – while one of us was at home, another would be working/sleeping and we would have a bit of freedom so I settled on her. Things were fine and she seemed nice, but she seemed to sleep unusual hours which was a bit of a pain.

One day (on which she apparently was not working) she text me to ask if it was ok with me if a friend stayed over as he had no place to sleep for the night. I said it was; after all it was only one night. It turns out her “friend” was a guy and I did not even see him but I could not help but overhear them quietly having sex in their room. This was before I went to sleep, so I was not disturbed. I got up and went to work at my 9-5, 5 day a week job. By the time I came back, there was no sign of him so all was ok.

So far so good. However, after we had been living together for around 2 months we got our first ESB bill, and it was far higher than it had been before when I was living with the couple. It perplexed me a bit, but we halved it and paid it anyway. Shortly after, I left to go and stay with my family at Christmas. Around 3 times during my time away, I got texts from my flatmate, ostensibly to offer greetings (Happy Christmas/Happy New Year etc) but always wondering when I would be back in the apartment. Anyway, a few days ago, I returned and it was immediately obvious (as if it hadn’t already been with her transparent texts) that someone else had been staying at the apartment with her – towels lying around where she would never leave them, some of my toothpaste gone when she only ever used her own etc. I sighed and left it go but then yesterday evening, she tells me that she is expecting a friend over. No sooner had I said a surprised ok than the doorbell rang and some guy walked in. I’m assuming that this was the “friend” that she had over before. They went into her room and have a long chat before having sex. It wasn’t like there was shouting and screaming or anything, but it was certainly less discreet than it had been before. Once again all was silent before I went to sleep, got up the next morning and went to work.

I came back this evening and I have seen no sign of anyone in the apartment, but I think I heard hushed voices coming from her room.
This is how things stand. It only today struck me that all the time when I left for work at 9, she was probably inviting him over here before getting him to leave before I came home none the wiser. This would presumably explain why the ESB bill was so high.

I’m sort of uncomfortable with the whole situation to be honest, and I’m posting to see if the people of Boards believe that I have good reason to be or if I’m just a killjoy. I mean, all things considered it’s not too bad. I’m a quiet person, and I have yet to fail to get peace and quiet here. However, I can’t help but feel that if this guy is coming over here and using the ESB/Internet connection it isn’t right that I should be footing half of this unnecessary expense. I’m also beginning to wonder if boundaries are starting to be overstepped here with regard to him staying over, and maybe it will lead to worse in future.

I suppose I feel that I deliberately waived the opportunity to live with a couple (even though it would have made things cheaper), and now I have ended up with something of a couple and paying more. Also, on a moral level, I’m pretty good at paying my way and I feel a bit unhappy that someone may be starting to live somewhere without paying rent/bills while I have to. It is of course possible that he is making financial contributions to compensate her while I’m left paying half of everything.

I should also point out that she does not appear to be working anymore; this does not jeopardise the rent as she seems to have “family wealth” to fall back on, so theoretically not short of a few quid.

Advice/opinions are welcome.