Would you take your girlfriend back if she cheated on you?

TheBeardedLady · 06-01-2015 04:43PM

Not a man but probably not. Not because I think it's completely unforgivable in all circumstances but because I know for me personally that the trust would be gone. I'd be incredibly hurt.

smash · 06-01-2015 04:44PM

DellyBelly wrote: »

If my girlfriend looked like Caroline Morahan or Glenda Gilson

Jesus man... up your standards!

Duggy747 · 06-01-2015 04:45PM

The trust would be gone and for the sake of my own sanity I couldn't continue it, knowing it happened would always eat away at me.

Anyways, I'd be too busy plotting out how to have her framed for the president's murder to get back at her.

Micky Dolenz · 06-01-2015 04:51PM

I'd like to think a partner could tell me they wanted to play away. Monogamy is unnatural and a ridiculous notion in my mind.

Precious flower · 06-01-2015 04:54PM

My brother's girlfriend cheated on him over months, with their mutual friend. He didn't find out until he actually discovered them together and she confessed it. They broke up but only for a little while (too little in my opinion) and then they got back together. If it was me I could never forgive someone for doing that, especially when it is over months and it was him who found out not her confessing to him.

For a person to do that is cruel. If you're unhappy leave him or stay and fix it but don't do that crap behind his back. I think that kind of behaviour can't be forgiven. But he forgave her. His friend was an absolute (insert bad word here). He was involved with more than just her. He had a girlfriend (who was my brother's girlfriend's friend) as well as other girls.

But, like I said they are back together and she's been back here with him when he came home for Christmas. It's his life, I just hope it works out because I couldn't do the same after that. But then they have been together for 7 years. I suppose it was hard for him to see all that time go down the drain.

RDM_83 again · 06-01-2015 04:57PM

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

Monogamy is unnatural and a ridiculous notion in my mind.

The monogamy being unnatural line gets trotted out a lot, the anthropological evidence would definitely suggest cyclic monogamy at a minimum is one of the most common "natural" states.
You can basically justify any position by its being the "natural" state we are an incredibly flexible species, constant inter-group violence,conflict and slavery can easily be called natural if you take a broad view but I've never heard anybody post 1945 argue that it should be done because its natural

Micky Dolenz · 06-01-2015 04:59PM

RDM_83 again wrote: »

The monogamy being unnatural line gets trotted out a lot, the anthropological evidence would definitely suggest cyclic monogamy at a minimum is one of the most common "natural" states.
You can basically justify any position by its being the "natural" state we are an incredibly flexible species, constant inter-group violence,conflict and slavery can easily be called natural if you take a broad view but I've never heard anybody post 1945 argue that it should be done because its natural

It's like, my opinion, Man.

shruikan2553 · 06-01-2015 05:01PM

Has anyone forgiven someone for cheating and it worked out OK? All the stories here are people who regretted it.

06-01-2015 05:01PM

Nah, after something like that there'll always be a "power" imbalance. The cheater will always owe the partner something and how that manifests itself could go either way.

Useful.Idiot · 06-01-2015 05:03PM

shruikan2553 wrote: »

Has anyone forgiven someone for cheating and it worked out OK? All the stories here are people who regretted it.

Then that's your answer really. In general, it's a very bad idea.

Precious flower · 06-01-2015 05:09PM

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

It's like, my opinion, Man.

I suppose it depends. For some animals a male will mate with numerous females and in some (like penguins, swans and other birds and animals) they mate for life. There are advantages and disadvantages for both. I suppose humans are more flexible in that regard that we are not wired for one for the other it is more a social construction that holds that ideal. It varies from person to person as well some people envision one person they want to spend the rest of their life with while another would be restless in such a situation but society might dictate that having multiple relationships is frowned upon. I suppose in caveman/woman times monogamy provided for the female a stable male presence in her life that will be interested in feeding and protecting her offspring and her and is less likely to wander off whereas a more fleeting relationship would mean she would be pretty much on her own and I guess that has transferred over to the modern day.

suicide_circus · 06-01-2015 05:11PM

Only one man could induce me to go back....Mr Barry White

Stealthfins · 06-01-2015 05:12PM

Never, go back with someone after they cheated on you.
You would want to be very needy, emotionally insecure, and have no respect for yourself.
She or he'll always have the temptation there to act it out again.

Obviously the sex with the other was more exciting and better fun, or it was the case that the other guy or woman was more attractive or emotionally available. ....

Micky Dolenz · 06-01-2015 05:12PM

Precious flower wrote: »

I suppose it depends. For some animals a male will mate with numerous females and in some (like penguins, swans and other birds and animals) they mate for life. There are advantages and disadvantages for both. I suppose humans are more flexible in that regard that we are not wired for one for the other it is more a social construction that holds that ideal. It varies from person to person as well some people envision one person they want to spend the rest of their life with while another would be restless in such a situation but society might dictate that having multiple relationships is frowned upon. I suppose in caveman/woman times monogamy provided for the female a stable male presence in her life that will be interested in feeding and protecting her offspring and her and is less likely to wander off whereas a more fleeting relationship would mean she would be pretty much on her own and I guess that has transferred over to the modern day.

Don't get me wrong. I believe you can have a life partner with whom you love and have a family with. It's the only being "allowed" one sexual partner from that day on is madness.

AdFundum · 06-01-2015 05:17PM

Do people actively define the terms of their relationship at some point or is exclusivity just taken for granted? I don't get monogamy - seems possessive. Everyone should be allowed the odd F**k Anything Friday, no?

SEPT 23 1989 · 06-01-2015 05:17PM

If it was a one night drunken thing maybe but not an ongoing affair

Tokyo · 06-01-2015 05:18PM

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

Don't get me wrong. I believe you can have a life partner with whom you love and have a family with. It's the only being "allowed" one sexual partner from that day on is madness.

I agree. But a person in a polyamorous relationship can still cheat on their partner.

pragmatic1 · 06-01-2015 05:18PM

Nope. I'd be too resentful. Wouldn't work.

One eyed Jack · 06-01-2015 05:26PM

GalwayGuitar wrote: »

Only the most beta of beta males would take a cheating whore back.

Vomit wrote: »

Surely you mean Omega male.. beta males are the second in command, waiting in the wings for the alpha to fall. No self respecting man would take back a cheating girlfriend

GalwayGuitar wrote: »

Aren't omegas the ones who don't care about women and just do their own thing? In a sense they're the opposite side of the same coin. Whereas betas mumble and stutter and fight among themselves for the alpha's leftovers?

^^ WTF is this shìt?

shruikan2553 wrote: »

Has anyone forgiven someone for cheating and it worked out OK? All the stories here are people who regretted it.

Yep. Depends on your perspective really, and from my perspective, someone having cheated on me isn't the worst thing that has happened to me, and didn't so dramatically change my opinion of that person and my relationship with them that it was worth throwing everything else away too.

The_Valeyard · 06-01-2015 05:36PM

Me demands a poll!!!

Idbatterim · 06-01-2015 05:38PM

If she was a brazilian model way out of my league, in a heartbeat!

Tokyo · 06-01-2015 05:42PM

The_Valeyard wrote: »

Me demands a poll!!!

That's what got the girlfriend into trouble in the first place...

The Bould Rabbit · 06-01-2015 05:59PM

I tried to take her back but they wouldn't give me a refund or credit note.

Philo Beddoe · 06-01-2015 06:11PM

One eyed Jack wrote: »

^^ WTF is this shìt?

It's modern misogynist parlance.

Wibbs · 06-01-2015 06:15PM

One eyed Jack wrote: »

^^ WTF is this shìt?

More PUA "redpill" nonsense. The yanks seem to love this alpha stuff. For cultural reasons I suspect. It can be quite the dog eat dog culture. Plus a lot of the PUA/Redpill types are nerds, nerds who "didn't get the girls" in school/college and are looking for explanations as to why. This leads to linear theories and labels(which nerds dig*), hence the alpha/beta/omega guff. Some take it a hysterical level of minutia

In any event the whole alpha thing can't be applied to humans. We've got a very complex set of interactions going. Though every generation seems to try to equate one or more animals with us. Wolves, chimps, bonobos etc, but none fit. Wolves are probably the closest, as far as nuclear family units go, but beyond that nope and wolves don't have "alpha/beta/omega" stuff going on either. That's an incredibly out of date theory(the original author of which distances himself from it).

Would I take a girlfriend back after cheating? Honestly, if you'd asked me that question 20 years ago I'd likely have said yes. 20 years on with more milage on the engine, I'd say no way in hell. Maybe there could be some exceptions, but I can't think of one offhand. Possibly a drunken kiss, if there were reasons leading up to it, but shagging? Nope. If I loved her? Great, but that's just me, if she's knobing and gobbling another bloke she clearly has a different definition of love. Or if she thinks she still loves me, then she's an emotional moron with limited self control. Either way... And you could reverse the genders too BTW.

I've never cheated on someone, even with temptation in a couple of cases, including one where the main relationship was looking dodgy(and ended a few months after). It would be a betrayal of my word if nothing else and a betrayal of the relationship and unlike some out there I can't reinvent the past in my head to cover up such betrayal when it suits. Goes quadruple if the love bomb has been dropped.

Though I know that's not how quite a few feel. I've been cheated on more than once and indeed I've been the guy some have cheated on many times more than once.

*which is great when it's aimed healthily. We wouldn't be typing on the interwebs without nerds and their way of thinking.

Wibbs · 06-01-2015 06:16PM

Philo Beddoe wrote: »

It's modern misogynist parlance.

It's actually more misandrist upon closer examination as it belittles whole chunks of men who don't fit their boxes and mindset.

AdFundum · 06-01-2015 06:24PM

Wibbs wrote: »

It's actually more misandrist upon closer examination as it belittles whole chunks of men who don't fit their boxes and mindset.

It's only belittling if you actually care about those labels. Filter out the tripe. People who spout such rubbish likely think they are at the top of some alpha-omega pyramid - which is great because you get to watch them fall. Oh the Schadenfreude!

buck65 · 06-01-2015 06:25PM

Mickey Dolenz..are you currently in a relationship?

Boskowski · 06-01-2015 06:25PM

Love != Sex

Venus In Furs · 06-01-2015 06:35PM

Oh look, that Bodybuilding forum thing has been implanted on Boards brah.

http://flavorwire.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/patrick-bateman1.jpeg

Anyway, to answer the question (substituting boyfriend for girlfriend): I don't know tbh. Lot of factors to take into consideration. I know objectively it should just be "Cheat = end it" but things aren't always that straightforward.

Would you take your girlfriend back if she cheated on you?

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