Would you take your girlfriend back if she cheated on you?

Irishguy16

Just curious about what everyone thinks about this one?

I wouldn't, I feel that the trust would be damaged as a result.

Have you seen relationships survive after a partner had cheated?

harrymagina

Depends on much hotter she is than me. Don't think I could go back riding whales again.

BeerWolf

Depends if it's a one time thing or a string of it I suppose, and the extent of it.

DellyBelly

If my girlfriend looked like Caroline Morahan or Glenda Gilson then yes in a heartbeat but if they weren't so easy on the eye I probably wouldn't

Strong Life in Dublin

Eh no way

Tombi!

Depends on what counts as cheating.
Blind drunk and taken advantage of doesn't count as cheating but I know people who would count it

spoofilyj

Definitely not, once a cheater always a cheater!

Penny Tration

I tried to stay with a guy after he cheated on me, but it was never the same and I couldn't trust him tbh.

It really depends. Drunk kiss with a random girl,, I could probably forgive. Kiss with a girl he's friends with, or sex, not a hope

iDave

If it were with another chick I'd encourage her to do it again....and film it.

K4t

A girlfriend? Depends.

A wife? That's why I'm never getting married.

valoren

If it was a case of drunkenly allowing some lad to lob his gob and it was confessed to me, all apologies then perhaps. We all make mistakes. Yellow card. Get off with a caution.

If she was riding someone in clear conscience? Red Card. Early bath. Never want to see you ever again.

_Whimsical_

harrymagina wrote: »

Depends on much hotter she is than me. Don't think I could go back riding whales again.

First I looked at this comment and thought how immature and disrespectful to women... then I realised you're actually saying that you would degrade yourself and be with someone who thought feck all of you as a human being just for sex with a pretty face and I felt kind of better about it.

Dog of Tears

Yes, but I would use it as leverage to demand a threesome with another hot chick as a condition of my forgiveness.

Tokyo

Depends on the situation and what led up to it. Having said that, I did take a girl back once after she cheated, and it turned out to be the biggest mistake I'd made in a long time, causing much more hurt than if I'd just packed my bags and left there and then. So yeah, probably not.

GalwayGuitar

Only the most beta of beta males would take a cheating whore back.

RDM_83 again

Brutal Deluxe wrote: »

Depends on what counts as cheating.
Blind drunk and taken advantage of doesn't count as cheating but I know people who would count it

Not excusing actual sexual assaults here but I don't think anybody ever gets drunk and does something that at least part of them doesn't want to do.
I'm also not sure about the "taken advantage" of angle, again provided its all consensual isn't it much more worrying that they can be manipulated in this way by other people if they are genuinely committed.
Its easy to say no, its two letters, I know this may sound harsh and in the past I've messed up in a similar way years ago (didn't technically cheat but still not a nice thing to have done), it may be slightly more excusable but its still not good and if its going to be excused by being manipulated/taken advantage of thats possibly pointing to a denial of responsibility and agency.

_Whimsical_

I'm female and I wouldn't take a guy back if he cheated on me. The horrible thing about these sort of decisions though is they're rarely made in your sane senses. Very often they're made when the person who has been cheated on has been kicked so hard in the guts that they feel they are just crap themselves and don't believe they deserve a whole lot better so they'll hang on to what they've got. I know a girl it happened to recently who is a professional, clever, beautiful girl who'd never have thought she'd stand for such behaviour. Instead the experience dented her confidence so much that she had come around to believing that her bf cheating was partially her fault saying things like "well as he said, if I hadn't argued about Christmas that night he'd never have gone and slept with his friend, everything would've been fine so we both have to take responsibility".

It's such a crappy thing to do to someone, to rob them of that trust in someone they're close too. If it's in a good and close relationship it leaves a scar that lasts a long time.

jimgoose

Once the jive bee-yatch keep bringin' de Dead Presidents I ain't givin' a shít.

_Whimsical_

Sculptedlats wrote: »

He's allowed to make his own decisions, you're so offended by someone having the temerity to value physical beaty that you are salivating at the mouth for any reason to ridicule them.

I'm not ridiculing him, I'm reflecting back to him what he said.

You on the other hand are ridiculing me. Hypocritical much?
Also the dramatic licence with the "salavating at the mouth bit", you really over played your card there but it was kind of funny I'd say that is just an observation but you may take it as me ridiculing you if you like.

RDM_83 again

Sculptedlats wrote: »

You made a ridiculous comment about him disrespecting women. That deserves ridicule.

I presume thats the riding wales part! The rest of it is just him disrespecting himself

Tombi!

RDM_83 again wrote: »

Not excusing actual sexual assaults here but I don't think anybody ever gets drunk and does something that at least part of them doesn't want to do.
I'm also not sure about the "taken advantage" of angle, again provided its all consensual isn't it much more worrying that they can be manipulated in this way by other people if they are genuinely committed.
Its easy to say no, its two letters, I know this may sound harsh and in the past I've messed up in a similar way years ago (didn't technically cheat but still not a nice thing to have done), it may be slightly more excusable but its still not good and if its going to be excused by being manipulated/taken advantage of thats possibly pointing to a denial of responsibility and agency.

I'm on about clear sexual assault here. If you get drunk and do stuff I consider it cheating

_Whimsical_

Sculptedlats wrote: »

You made a ridiculous comment about him disrespecting women. That deserves ridicule.

Actually calling women whales and deciding that their value in a relationship is solely based on their appearance IS disrespectful to women...in the context of the comment by the poster however the greater inherent disrespect was to himself.

Your slightly hysterical response and this embarrassingly hypocritical "you deserve to be ridiculed" stuff has amused me though so lets not go to war on it. Well you can if you want, I won't be responding again.:)

Vomit

GalwayGuitar wrote: »

Only the most beta of beta males would take a cheating whore back.

Surely you mean Omega male.. beta males are the second in command, waiting in the wings for the alpha to fall. No self respecting man would take back a cheating girlfriend

RDM_83 again

Vomit wrote: »

Surely you mean Omega male.. beta males are the second in command, waiting in the wings for the alpha to fall. No self respecting man would take back a cheating girlfriend

Your saying the Omega man isn't a total boss :eek:

Its the Epsilon-Minus guys are just fcuked (sometimes I wonder if the bodybuilding/PUA types for all their hidden nerdyness have ever actually read/watched any Sci-FI )

GalwayGuitar

Vomit wrote: »

Surely you mean Omega male.. beta males are the second in command, waiting in the wings for the alpha to fall. No self respecting man would take back a cheating girlfriend

Aren't omegas the ones who don't care about women and just do their own thing? In a sense they're the opposite side of the same coin. Whereas betas mumble and stutter and fight among themselves for the alpha's leftovers?

Egginacup

Took back a girlfriend who cheated on me once and we stayed together for a few years but it was a huge mistake. We were incompatible in the first place and I should have taken her infidelity as my cue to drop her and get out there carousing with the many infinitely more suitable flowers that were available at the time. Eventually broke up with her after I had been sleeping around on her. It was such a waste of 5 years to have stayed together and it ended in classic bad style.

JoeA3

From rather painful personal experience, I would say NO.

I tried to "forgive and forget" many years ago and while initially things seemed good (we both promised to make more effort with each other, blah blah), the hurt and mis-trust really took hold of me in the months afterwards. On reflection, it would have been better to end it sooner. I think if a partner cheats it's a huge red flag for the relationship itself - clearly one or even both partners are unhappy if one resorts to it and alcohol is a poor excuse too.

Having said that, it is easy to dismissively say "No way" on here, but if you find yourself in this horrible position, it can be really difficult to cut your losses and let her go.

shrewd

_Whimsical_ wrote: »

I'm female and I wouldn't take a guy back if he cheated on me. The horrible thing about these sort of decisions though is they're rarely made in your sane senses. Very often they're made when the person who has been cheated on has been kicked so hard in the guts that they feel they are just crap themselves and don't believe they deserve a whole lot better so they'll hang on to what they've got. I know a girl it happened to recently who is a professional, clever, beautiful girl who'd never have thought she'd stand for such behaviour. Instead the experience dented her confidence so much that she had come around to believing that her bf cheating was partially her fault saying things like "well as he said, if I hadn't argued about Christmas that night he'd never have gone and slept with his friend, everything would've been fine so we both have to take responsibility".

It's such a crappy thing to do to someone, to rob them of that trust in someone they're close too. If it's in a good and close relationship it leaves a scar that lasts a long time.

interesting, would you consider sleeping with an hooker cheating?
.
.
.
.
Actually, i would and i think most people here would

Dog of Tears

When I was much younger I found out that a GF had cheated on me with an ex of hers.

I confronted her, she begged forgiveness, swore it would never happen again and I took her back.
But I couldn't let it go, it gnawed at me for months afterwards.

I eventually began cheating on her with other girls - I suppose I was trying to 'even things up'. We eventually broke up a year or so later in a very messy way.

In retrospect I wish I'd taken the high road and just left after finding out, but she was super-hot, great in bed and I was scared I wouldn't find someone else as good.

It's a tough situation and there's no right or wrong answer. I know couples who have survived cheating and gone on to thrive - it really depends,

endacl

DellyBelly wrote: »

If my girlfriend looked like Caroline Morahan then yes in a heartbeat

Seriously?!?

:pac:

Egginacup

Dog of Tears wrote: »

When I was much younger I found out that a GF had cheated on me with an ex of hers.

I confronted her, she begged forgiveness, swore it would never happen again and I took her back.
But I couldn't let it go, it gnawed at me for months afterwards.

I eventually began cheating on her with other girls - I suppose I was trying to 'even things up'. We eventually broke up a year or so later in a very messy way.

In retrospect I wish I'd taken the high road and just left after finding out, but she was super-hot, great in bed and I was scared I wouldn't find someone else as good.

It's a tough situation and there's no right or wrong answer. I know couples who have survived cheating and gone on to thrive - it really depends,

Absolute CARBON COPY of my experience!

TheBeardedLady

Not a man but probably not. Not because I think it's completely unforgivable in all circumstances but because I know for me personally that the trust would be gone. I'd be incredibly hurt.

smash

DellyBelly wrote: »

If my girlfriend looked like Caroline Morahan or Glenda Gilson

Jesus man... up your standards!

Duggy747

The trust would be gone and for the sake of my own sanity I couldn't continue it, knowing it happened would always eat away at me.

Anyways, I'd be too busy plotting out how to have her framed for the president's murder to get back at her.

Micky Dolenz

I'd like to think a partner could tell me they wanted to play away. Monogamy is unnatural and a ridiculous notion in my mind.

Precious flower

My brother's girlfriend cheated on him over months, with their mutual friend. He didn't find out until he actually discovered them together and she confessed it. They broke up but only for a little while (too little in my opinion) and then they got back together. If it was me I could never forgive someone for doing that, especially when it is over months and it was him who found out not her confessing to him.

For a person to do that is cruel. If you're unhappy leave him or stay and fix it but don't do that crap behind his back. I think that kind of behaviour can't be forgiven. But he forgave her. His friend was an absolute (insert bad word here). He was involved with more than just her. He had a girlfriend (who was my brother's girlfriend's friend) as well as other girls.

But, like I said they are back together and she's been back here with him when he came home for Christmas. It's his life, I just hope it works out because I couldn't do the same after that. But then they have been together for 7 years. I suppose it was hard for him to see all that time go down the drain.

RDM_83 again

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

Monogamy is unnatural and a ridiculous notion in my mind.

The monogamy being unnatural line gets trotted out a lot, the anthropological evidence would definitely suggest cyclic monogamy at a minimum is one of the most common "natural" states.
You can basically justify any position by its being the "natural" state we are an incredibly flexible species, constant inter-group violence,conflict and slavery can easily be called natural if you take a broad view but I've never heard anybody post 1945 argue that it should be done because its natural

Micky Dolenz

RDM_83 again wrote: »

The monogamy being unnatural line gets trotted out a lot, the anthropological evidence would definitely suggest cyclic monogamy at a minimum is one of the most common "natural" states.
You can basically justify any position by its being the "natural" state we are an incredibly flexible species, constant inter-group violence,conflict and slavery can easily be called natural if you take a broad view but I've never heard anybody post 1945 argue that it should be done because its natural

It's like, my opinion, Man.

shruikan2553

Has anyone forgiven someone for cheating and it worked out OK? All the stories here are people who regretted it.

Nah, after something like that there'll always be a "power" imbalance. The cheater will always owe the partner something and how that manifests itself could go either way.

Useful.Idiot

shruikan2553 wrote: »

Has anyone forgiven someone for cheating and it worked out OK? All the stories here are people who regretted it.

Then that's your answer really. In general, it's a very bad idea.

Precious flower

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

It's like, my opinion, Man.

I suppose it depends. For some animals a male will mate with numerous females and in some (like penguins, swans and other birds and animals) they mate for life. There are advantages and disadvantages for both. I suppose humans are more flexible in that regard that we are not wired for one for the other it is more a social construction that holds that ideal. It varies from person to person as well some people envision one person they want to spend the rest of their life with while another would be restless in such a situation but society might dictate that having multiple relationships is frowned upon. I suppose in caveman/woman times monogamy provided for the female a stable male presence in her life that will be interested in feeding and protecting her offspring and her and is less likely to wander off whereas a more fleeting relationship would mean she would be pretty much on her own and I guess that has transferred over to the modern day.

suicide_circus

Only one man could induce me to go back....Mr Barry White

Stealthfins

Never, go back with someone after they cheated on you.
You would want to be very needy, emotionally insecure, and have no respect for yourself.
She or he'll always have the temptation there to act it out again.

Obviously the sex with the other was more exciting and better fun, or it was the case that the other guy or woman was more attractive or emotionally available. ....

Micky Dolenz

Precious flower wrote: »

I suppose it depends. For some animals a male will mate with numerous females and in some (like penguins, swans and other birds and animals) they mate for life. There are advantages and disadvantages for both. I suppose humans are more flexible in that regard that we are not wired for one for the other it is more a social construction that holds that ideal. It varies from person to person as well some people envision one person they want to spend the rest of their life with while another would be restless in such a situation but society might dictate that having multiple relationships is frowned upon. I suppose in caveman/woman times monogamy provided for the female a stable male presence in her life that will be interested in feeding and protecting her offspring and her and is less likely to wander off whereas a more fleeting relationship would mean she would be pretty much on her own and I guess that has transferred over to the modern day.

Don't get me wrong. I believe you can have a life partner with whom you love and have a family with. It's the only being "allowed" one sexual partner from that day on is madness.

AdFundum

Do people actively define the terms of their relationship at some point or is exclusivity just taken for granted? I don't get monogamy - seems possessive. Everyone should be allowed the odd F**k Anything Friday, no?

SEPT 23 1989

If it was a one night drunken thing maybe but not an ongoing affair

Tokyo

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

Don't get me wrong. I believe you can have a life partner with whom you love and have a family with. It's the only being "allowed" one sexual partner from that day on is madness.

I agree. But a person in a polyamorous relationship can still cheat on their partner.

pragmatic1

Nope. I'd be too resentful. Wouldn't work.

One eyed Jack

GalwayGuitar wrote: »

Only the most beta of beta males would take a cheating whore back.

Vomit wrote: »

Surely you mean Omega male.. beta males are the second in command, waiting in the wings for the alpha to fall. No self respecting man would take back a cheating girlfriend

GalwayGuitar wrote: »

Aren't omegas the ones who don't care about women and just do their own thing? In a sense they're the opposite side of the same coin. Whereas betas mumble and stutter and fight among themselves for the alpha's leftovers?

^^ WTF is this shìt?

shruikan2553 wrote: »

Has anyone forgiven someone for cheating and it worked out OK? All the stories here are people who regretted it.

Yep. Depends on your perspective really, and from my perspective, someone having cheated on me isn't the worst thing that has happened to me, and didn't so dramatically change my opinion of that person and my relationship with them that it was worth throwing everything else away too.

The_Valeyard

Me demands a poll!!!