Does Christmas cause as much harm as it does good?

DEFTLEFTHAND · 23-12-2014 09:47PM

In Lonesome Dove wrote: »

Yeah but there in the US there is a day off at the end of November called thanksgiving. Ireland doesn't have that so Xmas is kinda like our thanksgiving.

I think the festive cheer tends to die off quicker these days anyway, people are so burnt out from the month long buildup that they're ready to fcuk the tree and wreath out the door come the 27th.

ruarua · 23-12-2014 09:49PM

Definitely mixed feelings here. I've an anniversary on the 30th. My partner died. 14 years ago this year. So Christmas has partly become about the memory of that. Him sick and dying.
But then there's the rest of it. Parents who enjoy this time of year. Extended family whose kids who are generally excited. We keep the pressies low key. I don't buy for outside the immediate family any more.
If one can disengage from the insane commercialism and bring it back to something smaller and simpler, there can be good gleaned from it all.

I also like the slowing down, the lights and the dark beer.

kerry4sam · 23-12-2014 10:39PM

Nomis21 wrote: »

I am neutral about Christmas. I enjoyed it as a child, enjoyed it when I was in good company but felt very isolated when travelling away from home and later when I was separated from family.

I used to organise trips away for single dad's when I was a coach driver and worked on helplines on Christmas day in the past. I was surprised by the amount of heartache at this time, even from people who had family to be with but were still put under tremendous financial pressure and stress and would rather it never happened.

I have lived in many countries at christmas and of all the countries, Ireland seems to go the most overboard at this time of year, some people getting worked up as early even as September.

So what is your opinion? Is the enjoyment for some worth the stress and isolation that many others feel at Christmas...?

Wonderful Thread, Thanks for sharing your stories. This Day last year was the very Day that we laid my Dad to Rest! Up until today I kinda felt like the Christmas Grinch. Each year Dad & I would finalise the shopping on this date and tomorrow. Was in town earlier buying chocolates & gifts for random people and dropped them around saying 'Have a Happy Christmas' - just pure Random Gift-Giving but the smiles and replies were WONDERFUL that they helped cheer me up no end

It is what you want to make it. Some go OTT-bat-sh!t crazy this time of year, but we were always grounded growing up and thankfully Dad ensured I remained that way as I grew up.

Different this year. Felt so so alone & isolated for weeks this year; horrible, truly horrible feeling. My Dad left a huge void in my Life and I just felt lost & alone.
This Christmas is almost over so just going to follow some great advice I was given and try and fall in; keep the smile going strong; grit the teeth and just plough on as best you can

Seems to be working for me since it was said,
kerry4sam

Streetwalker · 23-12-2014 10:42PM

Have to say I despise this time of year. Capitalism and advertising etc.. have really ruined any joy it used to bring me.

Clandestine · 23-12-2014 10:44PM

Christmas doesn't really mean anything to me this year. I remember as a kid I used to get excited, I used to count down all the days until i got my presents and I wished the days would go faster. This year, I don't even care but I think that's probably because I have all I need right now. I don't have a present to look forward to opening.

Clandestine · 23-12-2014 10:47PM

Streetwalker wrote: »

Have to say I despise this time of year. Capitalism and advertising etc.. have really ruined any joy it used to bring me.

I agree. I feel bad for all the parents with all the pressure it puts on them. I was thinking to myself that if I ever have kids I won't get them anything for Christmas. I'dtake them on a trip to a nice part of the country or something. You give them a present and they'll be done with it within a day or a week at most. A good trip and time with their folks that they enjoy will stick with them for a long time. A good memory lasts forever.

Streetwalker · 23-12-2014 11:00PM

Clandestine wrote: »

I agree. I feel bad for all the parents with all the pressure it puts on them. I was thinking to myself that if I ever have kids I won't get them anything for Christmas. I'dtake them on a trip to a nice part of the country or something. You give them a present and they'll be done with it within a day or a week at most. A good trip and time with their folks that they enjoy will stick with them for a long time. A good memory lasts forever.

Would be a lovely idea.

NIMAN · 23-12-2014 11:01PM

Xmas is a great time of the year.

Great atmosphere about, people come back home, you get to catch up, can drink and eat more without the guilt.

Only thing I don't like is the over commercialism of it, which is gettig more rampant each year. Too many people running mad around shops buying everything in sight even though the shops open again on the 26th.

Kirby · 23-12-2014 11:10PM

Clandestine wrote: »

I agree. I feel bad for all the parents with all the pressure it puts on them..

I don't really go along with that. People talk about the pressure the parents are under but its manufactured pressure. They put it on themselves. They are the adults, and if they cant afford 500 quid on the latest thing little johnny wants then they need to be sensible and not get into debt over it.

That's not being a scrooge or a killjoy, it's being a f*cking adult. These people who spend all year paying off Christmas are the type of people who bought houses in the property bubble. Stop spending money you don't have.

There have been times when I've been able to give people huge expensive presents and other times when I haven't. I love Christmas but its not about the sh*t you get, it's about the people you spend the time with.

Clandestine · 23-12-2014 11:16PM

Kirby wrote: »

I don't really go along with that. People talk about the pressure the parents are under but its manufactured pressure. They put it on themselves. They are the adults, and if they cant afford 500 quid on the latest thing little johnny wants then they need to be sensible and not get into debt over it.

I think people aren't feeling pressure solely because Mr. Santa Claus on the TV tells them to buy them a present, I think its because they love their kids and feel like they deserve to be treated. When kids want something it is difficult to tell them no because some people think with the heart and not the head. It is a difficult thing to explain in words I guess, but i do feel bad for folks who don't have the fortitude to deal with it.

Bongalongherb · 24-12-2014 12:32AM

Clandestine wrote: »

I think people aren't feeling pressure solely because Mr. Santa Claus on the TV tells them to buy them a present, I think its because they love their kids and feel like they deserve to be treated. When kids want something it is difficult to tell them no because some people think with the heart and not the head. It is a difficult thing to explain in words I guess, but i do feel bad for folks who don't have the fortitude to deal with it.

The main issue is more than likely because of loans with a high interest rate called 'Provident' money lenders.

December2012 · 24-12-2014 08:50AM

I grew up ina modest home, we didn't get big presents every year and we still love Christmas.

Santa got me the version of what I wanted that was most affordable. No credit cards then - no debt! Simples!

Even though I have more money than my parents I still don't spend lots on presents.

My children understand that they are lucky and I get them to help with charity things (eg the Vincent de Paul giving tree; unicef gifts etc).

They "buy" a present for Daddy so that they learn, from the beginning, that Christmas is about everybody, not just them.

A spoiled child is not a child that gets lots of things. A child who gets lots of things can feel very grateful, lucky and blessed if they are always being shown that way.

A spoiled child is one who demands and expects lots of things and places emotional value on things.

Did all those children magically see the Let it go Elsa doll themselves and want it?

Have their parents no techniques to make it ok for the child to not get what they want?

It doesn't have to be a big financial and commercial time.

It's about spending time with each - but some people equate money with time.

danrua01 · 24-12-2014 09:08AM

It's a nice idea, but I think that's about it these days.

I don't like the idea of Santa for two reasons:

- kids only behave around Christmas time because of Santa, not because they understand and respect their parents;
- parents are almost forced to buy two sets of presents for the kids. If they only received presents from the parents, you'd think (or hope) that there'd be much more appreciation/respect for how those got there.

The 2nd point may not really apply to really small kids but still..

Nonetheless, looking forward to a pint tonight and some yummy lunch tomorrow.

fryup · 24-12-2014 10:41AM

when i was a lad :P

i knew my father was on a modest wage so i never asked for anything too expensive,

only got presents twice a year,,, xmas & birthday

i was content with that

charlietheminxx · 24-12-2014 11:18AM

We had very little money when I was growing up, but I love Christmas. For me it's always been about the food and the company and my favourite presents growing up were the surprises. People are nicer and friendlier at this time of year and I love it.... No harm if you don't, but people are silly and try to keep up with the Jones and stress out and ruin it for themselves!

The Backwards Man · 24-12-2014 11:41AM

Ah I don't mind Christmas too much, everybody is in reasonably good form (until about dinnertime tomorrow!), it's grand for wee wains and you see people home that maybe haven't been for years.

I hate hate hate the New Year though.

mazdaminx · 24-12-2014 01:29PM

In reply to the question yes I think it can. After a long time pleasing others, this year I'm being selfish and pleasing myself for once. From my own experience I feel most people only care about themselves and probably don't want visitors if they're honest. I'd say many just want to be left alone. Re: presents I could have spent a fortune but I didn't. Christmas is what you do throughout the year, not just on the 25th. For me anyway.

Does Christmas cause as much harm as it does good?

Comments