Does Christmas cause as much harm as it does good?

Nomis21 · 23-12-2014 05:28PM #1

I am neutral about Christmas. I enjoyed it as a child, enjoyed it when I was in good company but felt very isolated when travelling away from home and later when I was separated from family.

I used to organise trips away for single dad's when I was a coach driver and worked on helplines on Christmas day in the past. I was surprised by the amount of heartache at this time, even from people who had family to be with but were still put under tremendous financial pressure and stress and would rather it never happened.

I have lived in many countries at christmas and of all the countries, Ireland seems to go the most overboard at this time of year, some people getting worked up as early even as September.

So what is your opinion? Is the enjoyment for some worth the stress and isolation that many others feel at Christmas...?

The_Valeyard · 23-12-2014 05:34PM

Love Christmas

Family come home.
Lots of parties
Good food and drink.
Lots of films on tv.
People are generally that little bit more friendly and nice.
Decorations, presents, etc.

Tis a great time of year

Mr.McLovin · 23-12-2014 05:38PM

Solution: Cancel Christmas?

obriendj · 23-12-2014 05:40PM

Mr.McLovin wrote: »

Solution: Cancel Christmas?

is that what OP is suggesting?

Grandeeod · 23-12-2014 05:40PM

Mr.McLovin wrote: »

Solution: Cancel Christmas?

For adults anyway.

Mr_Muffin · 23-12-2014 05:42PM

Christmas is great.

If you have children then of course they expect their presents which can be tough if you are struggling to make ends meet.

If you do not have children then it is easy - tell everyone in advance that you have no money, you cannot afford presents and do not expect anything either. Sorted.

TerrorFirmer · 23-12-2014 05:42PM

It doesn't matter what you pick. Easter. Summer. Christmas. Birthdays. Whatever. There will always be people for whom those times are hard for various reasons.

Obviously that's terrible and I feel for people who can't enjoy occassions such as Christmas. It doesn't mean the vast majority of people shouldn't continue to enjoy them.

Bongalongherb · 23-12-2014 05:46PM

This time of year is not good at all for some folk, and I can understand why. But for myself it's just a week of complete relaxation, it feels nice.

I like to mellow out on my tod and just relax with no bullsh!t in my ears. Now lets rock and roll.

Faith+1 · 23-12-2014 05:46PM

It's a great time to catch up with friends and family but the commercial side has gone ott these last few years.

Nomis21 · 23-12-2014 06:04PM

obriendj wrote: »

is that what OP is suggesting?

No I'm not suggesting anything. I ask for thoughts, that is all. Like I say, I am neutral, perhaps affected by life experience but I see both good and bad aspects.

This year I have invited 3 people who are alone this Christmas to my home. For me and them it will be a good time, although neither I would I miss Christmas if it never happened.

FloatingVoter · 23-12-2014 06:10PM

It ends in a few hours time. With the joy of watching house repossessions, credit card debt, divorce, house fires, murder and knowing that spending it alone is just a case of stocking up for two days.
I used to like it but it stopped liking me so now I revel in the misery attendant and watch the first half of Scrooge for fun.

Cantremember · 23-12-2014 06:51PM

It's the hype and the herd mentality that ruin it. The lights are great at a dark time of year and people meeting up is good but the way people are bullied into "solving" christmas by buying x, y and z to increase corporate profits is sickening. The trick is doing it your own way.

ScumLord · 23-12-2014 06:56PM

Nomis21 wrote: »

I have lived in many countries at christmas and of all the countries, Ireland seems to go the most overboard at this time of year, some people getting worked up as early even as September.

I would have thought the Americans were still the most OTT when it comes to Christmas?

When it comes to buying presents I think it's the mothers who see Christmas as a big excuse to go on a shopping binge that bring on the pressure that people feel. They go mad buying presents for anyone they know just as an excuse to go shopping. Just ignore those addicts.

Irish Guitarist · 23-12-2014 06:59PM

If someone you love dies around Christmas you'll never forget the anniversary, no matter how bad you are with dates. I always think of Christmas as the time my father lived his last couple of weeks. New Years Eve is the anniversary of the day the doctor told my family he wasn't going to make it much longer.

Every New Years Eve it's like I'm transported back to New Years Eve 1999 all over again waiting for my father to die while listening to drunken people walking past my house celebrating.

I usually can't face going to anyones house for Christmas so stay home alone. I'm going to my sisters house this year but I already wish I hadn't agreed to go.

I despise this time of year.

Mister Vain · 23-12-2014 06:59PM

ScumLord wrote: »

I would have thought the Americans were still the most OTT when it comes to Christmas?

Yeah the yanks with their happy holidays.

Electric Sheep · 23-12-2014 07:13PM

ScumLord wrote: »

I would have thought the Americans were still the most OTT when it comes to Christmas?

When it comes to buying presents I think it's the mothers who see Christmas as a big excuse to go on a shopping binge that bring on the pressure that people feel. They go mad buying presents for anyone they know just as an excuse to go shopping. Just ignore those addicts.

Not at all! Here in the US for most people it is just one day off work, not the week long extravaganza that it is in Ireland.

We unChristmas with other non-Christian friends. We get together, have nice snacky food, drinks and watch movies for the day. No pressure, no decorating or gift giving, just enjoying each others company.

It beats Christmas for me!

December2012 · 23-12-2014 07:20PM

Irish Guitarist wrote: »

If someone you love dies around Christmas you'll never forget the anniversary, no matter how bad you are with dates. I always think of Christmas as the time my father lived his last couple of weeks. New Years Eve is the anniversary of the day the doctor told my family he wasn't going to make it much longer.

Every New Years Eve it's like I'm transported back to New Years Eve 1999 all over again waiting for my father to die while listening to drunken people walking past my house celebrating.

I usually can't face going to anyones house for Christmas so stay home alone. I'm going to my sisters house this year but I already wish I hadn't agreed to go.

I despise this time of year.

That's completely understandable. I'm so sorry for your loss. I've had some deaths around Christmas and found it very hard, but it's getting easier. Maybe because they weren't exactly that week.

Anniversaries are really sad. My condolences

Bongalongherb · 23-12-2014 07:25PM

FloatingVoter wrote: »

It ends in a few hours time. With the joy of watching house repossessions, credit card debt, divorce, house fires, murder and knowing that spending it alone is just a case of stocking up for two days.
I used to like it but it stopped liking me so now I revel in the misery attendant and watch the first half of Scrooge for fun.

This scenario happens all year-round, there's no point in blaming Christmas for all that bad stuff, it would be happening either way and will continue to happen for years to come.

Bongalongherb · 23-12-2014 07:29PM

Irish Guitarist wrote: »

If someone you love dies around Christmas you'll never forget the anniversary, no matter how bad you are with dates. I always think of Christmas as the time my father lived his last couple of weeks. New Years Eve is the anniversary of the day the doctor told my family he wasn't going to make it much longer.

Every New Years Eve it's like I'm transported back to New Years Eve 1999 all over again waiting for my father to die while listening to drunken people walking past my house celebrating.

I usually can't face going to anyones house for Christmas so stay home alone. I'm going to my sisters house this year but I already wish I hadn't agreed to go.

I despise this time of year.

Go to your sisters house man, whether it's christmas or not just go and relax and try to have a good time. I will be on my tod anyway just like last christmas but I intend to be happy and enjoy and wallow in a good time, so go and enjoy yourself.

boobar · 23-12-2014 07:32PM

In the past Christmas was a huge financial burden for me and nothing but stress and that was before I became a father myself.

It was stressful because I put myself under pressure to call to brothers and sisters that were located all over the country. After years of this I told them, if you want to call to me you'll be welcome.

The financial burden came from buying brothers, sisters, their partners and kids presents. Cost a fortune until I said a few years ago that I was knocking it on the head and that they could stop buying me socks.

So now Santa for my kid, and I give Mrs cash for a shopping spree that she enjoys with a pal of hers, day out with lunch and wine plus I'm not on her case giving out because I can not stand shopping.

Go to the mother in law for Xmas so no hassle buying food cooking etc....

All of the above = Good Xmas with no hassles

FloatingVoter · 23-12-2014 07:52PM

Yup, bad anniversary involved, no close family or friends just leads this to me being a Ghost of Christmas Past. I sneak back into normal life come January.
Secrets out, we are all around you.

KungPao · 23-12-2014 07:57PM

Its a bit like a big party you HAVE to attend isnt it? If you're feeling good and up for it, brilliant. If not, then it sucks...and you'll end up feeling even worse.

Electric Sheep · 23-12-2014 08:01PM

KungPao wrote: »

Its a bit like a big party you HAVE to attend isnt it? If you're feeling good and up for it, brilliant. If not, then it sucks...and you'll end up feeling even worse.

You DON"T have to, though, you can opt out if you want to.

Billy86 · 23-12-2014 08:09PM

Christmas is certainly not all fun and joy... I've got to make a trip down to Tesco at some stage tonight.

martingriff · 23-12-2014 08:34PM

Billy86 wrote: »

Christmas is certainly not all fun and joy... I've got to make a trip down to Tesco at some stage tonight.

THE HORROR THE HORROR

If your not back by 12 we will wait a bit longer. Bring a packed lunch you may need it

Bongalongherb · 23-12-2014 08:50PM

Billy86 wrote: »

Christmas is certainly not all fun and joy... I've got to make a trip down to Tesco at some stage tonight.

At least you can make it to Tesco, my car has a big sticker on it saying 'Do Not Drive This Car For One Week' so it's walking from now on unfortunately. I could do with the exercise though

Billy86 · 23-12-2014 08:52PM

Bongalongherb wrote: »

At least you can make it to Tesco, my car has a big sticker on it saying 'Do Not Drive This Car For One Week' so it's walking from now on unfortunately. I could do with the exercise though

To be honest I'm choosing to walk over driving, traffic is meant to be absolutely mental out I've been told - half an hour to go a mile type stuff, and no parking in sight! Luckily it's only a 15-20 minute walk so I'm just praying the weather doesn't go completely to sh*te.

Bongalongherb · 23-12-2014 08:55PM

Billy86 wrote: »

To be honest I'm choosing to walk over driving, traffic is meant to be absolutely mental out I've been told - half an hour to go a mile type stuff, and no parking in sight! Luckily it's only a 15-20 minute walk so I'm just praying the weather doesn't go completely to sh*te.

It's supposed to rain for the night, but everyone loves rain lashing off their face with a nice refreshing breeze, it can be enlightening. Just leave the car at home just like what I'm doing. The traffic will be chaotic for sure with a lot of folk leaving it to the last minute to do their shopping.

UCDVet · 23-12-2014 09:00PM

I'm not a fan. It feels very forced and hollow to me.

Growing up Christmas was a nightmare for me. My parents weren't very well to do and every year we had to smile and pretend we weren't poor. It was very awkward. They'd buy us gifts they shouldn't have, because of all the pressure to give your kids the perfect holidays. But all that did was cause more problems.

Kids don't know what they want or what makes good gifts. When you make serious sacrifices to get some stupid toy that your child breaks or gets tired of, well, that's not a good feeling.

As I got older, I was involved in more of the grown up conversations....where all my cousins and Aunts and Uncles would brag and try to one-up each other about whatever it was they were doing. Oddly enough, every holiday season, they'd say how great things were, but inevitably, each year they'd be in the same spot they were last year. Again, it just all seemed fake and meaningless. And, I suspect, people only did it because they felt like crap and didn't want to seem a failure. Everyone lying to make their life seem great, makes everyone else think their life isn't so good by comparison, ya know? Vicious cycle.

Maybe it's just me. I'm older now and I see the same cycle with my friends. We've grown a bit apart and every year we still get together for the holidays and it's the same 'fakeness'. Everyone got to brag about their job, and their great life....and I can't help but feel that 90% of it is bull****.

Steve F · 23-12-2014 09:10PM

Cantremember wrote: »

It's the hype and the herd mentality that ruin it. The lights are great at a dark time of year and people meeting up is good but the way people are bullied into "solving" christmas by buying x, y and z to increase corporate profits is sickening. The trick is doing it your own way.

Yep commercialization at it's best plus the fact that it is shoved down your throat from early September putting even more pressure on overstretched budgets.
December 23rd and I have heard an Ad for January sales and a Hamper company pushing their services for CHRISTMAS 2015 I kid you not!! :mad:

In Lonesome Dove · 23-12-2014 09:21PM

Electric Sheep wrote: »

Not at all! Here in the US for most people it is just one day off work, not the week long extravaganza that it is in Ireland.

We unChristmas with other non-Christian friends. We get together, have nice snacky food, drinks and watch movies for the day. No pressure, no decorating or gift giving, just enjoying each others company.

It beats Christmas for me!

Yeah but there in the US there is a day off at the end of November called thanksgiving. Ireland doesn't have that so Xmas is kinda like our thanksgiving.

Does Christmas cause as much harm as it does good?

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