Avoiding sausage fests

Venus In Furs · 15-12-2014 12:55AM

lufties wrote: »

Only jews, even worse.

Anti-semitism isn't ideal.

AlanS181824 · 15-12-2014 12:59AM

Become Vegan? I don't know...

lufties · 15-12-2014 12:59AM

bodice ripper wrote: »

I am going to go out in a limb here and say the problem is your personality...

My personality is fine, I am courteous to people and friendly.

lufties · 15-12-2014 01:01AM

Venus In Furs wrote: »

Anti-semitism isn't ideal.

It was actually a joke..

bodice ripper · 15-12-2014 01:03AM

lufties wrote: »

My personality is fine, I am courteous to people and friendly.

And yet in a few short posts online, you have managed to convey "un****able, entitled, creepy, pretentious douche nozzle".

AlanS181824 · 15-12-2014 01:04AM

lufties wrote: »

It was actually a joke..

*Tumbleweed*

No one's laughing.

lanos · 15-12-2014 01:07AM

ok I have the solution for you
it will definitely work in London cos it worked for me there
it will probably work everywhere
get a pet dog, preferably a pup and it has to be cute, no ugly mutts from Battersea dogs home.
you go out one day take a walk through hyde park, oxford street, Leicester Square and you are invisible right ?
next day, bring the dog, and I guarantee you will be stopped by at least 20 hot women.
obviously your accommodation needs to be dog friendly and if not, use your imagination and work something out.
and it would help if you genuinely like the dog (like I did)
women can sense if you are pulling a scam.

lufties · 15-12-2014 01:09AM

bodice ripper wrote: »

And yet in a few short posts online, you have managed to convey "un****able, entitled, creepy, pretentious douche nozzle".

Go **** yourself!

bodice ripper · 15-12-2014 01:11AM

lufties wrote: »

Go **** yourself!

Nah, I have someone for that, and I am no looker. Must be my personality.

riffmongous · 15-12-2014 01:17AM

mikom wrote: »

Touchy......

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nMJXN9l_ee8

That was awful

lanos · 15-12-2014 01:28AM

mikom wrote: »

Touchy......

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nMJXN9l_ee8

riffmongous wrote: »

That was awful

it was idiotic

Candy_Girl · 15-12-2014 01:29AM

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

Lots of dates and relationships happen because of conversations/"chatting up" done at the gym. If two people are there then it's obviously a common interest and hobby and who better for a fitness enthusiast to date than another fitness enthusiast?

Yes I totally agree but I feel this guy is just out to do any class going just to get chatting to girls and get a date nothing to do with common interest. I go to the gym to work out I really wouldn't want to be interrupted by some guy just looking for a date and I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels like this...

--LOS-- · 15-12-2014 01:37AM

lanos wrote: »

ok I have the solution for you
it will definitely work in London cos it worked for me there
it will probably work everywhere
get a pet dog, preferably a pup and it has to be cute, no ugly mutts from Battersea dogs home.
you go out one day take a walk through hyde park, oxford street, Leicester Square and you are invisible right ?
next day, bring the dog, and I guarantee you will be stopped by at least 20 hot women.
obviously your accommodation needs to be dog friendly and if not, use your imagination and work something out.
and it would help if you genuinely like the dog (like I did)
women can sense if you are pulling a scam.

Ah ye coz being manipulative is so attractive.

OP you can go where you like and do what you like but it wont matter because your attitude is all wrong. I don't think you should ever have the expectation of meeting someone, just try to meet more people in general and do new things and enjoy them for the sake of it. The more people you meet the better chance you have of meeting someone you actually want to meet. Lose the desperation to meet someone. Maybe think about what you have to offer someone, you can't expect that women are supposed to reward you for being polite. Being polite and friendly is just manners, not personality. I'm afraid you've probably alienated all the women on boards just from your op though!

lufties · 15-12-2014 02:31AM

--LOS-- wrote: »

Ah ye coz being manipulative is so attractive.

OP you can go where you like and do what you like but it wont matter because your attitude is all wrong. I don't think you should ever have the expectation of meeting someone, just try to meet more people in general and do new things and enjoy them for the sake of it. The more people you meet the better chance you have of meeting someone you actually want to meet. Lose the desperation to meet someone. Maybe think about what you have to offer someone, you can't expect that women are supposed to reward you for being polite. Being polite and friendly is just manners, not personality. I'm afraid you've probably alienated all the women on boards just from your op though!

I couldn't give a damn about the women on boards. I give my opinion without having to conform to what others think. All I asked was if anyone knew where to go that wasn't a sausage fest, no attitude there. I do shiftwork so that can be isolating and hard on the body and mind. I'm not desperate, if I was I would've requested the numbers of ladies I met at the weekend that I wasn't attracted to.

Your post reeks of condescension btw, but thats the irish way isn't it? Slam anyone who may have an opinion. by being polite I meant in general, I have plenty of personality and im a confudent person,but due to my lifestyle with shiftwork its hard to get an outlet to have an opportunity to meet someone. Im not getting any younger either so hence im being proactive.

The Strawman Argument · 15-12-2014 02:32AM

lufties wrote: »

Well to be honest if your talking about looks I am above average, I've always been popular with women generally but nowadays for some reason even women who are not really attractive dont give me a look in. I honestly don't see why I should lower my standards in that sense.

Attractiveness isn't driven exclusively by looks, just because you look above average for a guy doesn't mean that you're going to be immediately appealing to women who you'd consider on a similar level of attractiveness as yourself.
The fact these measures are defined in your own head could easily mean you've ridiculously high standards in some area or another too.

btw, I wasn't really suggesting lowering your standards, your supply & demand comment contained a flaw with the attractive women part so I just had to point it out (you had it as a binary attribute for the women but not for the men whereas it'd be more likely to be the replacement for price/cost in such a curve :cool:). A person self consciously opting to be with someone they deem to be beneath them sounds like a disaster.

AnonoBoy · 15-12-2014 02:38AM

lufties wrote: »

Well to be honest if your talking about looks I am above average, I've always been popular with women generally but nowadays for some reason even women who are not really attractive dont give me a look in.

Well whatever the reason I'd say your winning personality and humility isn't the problem.

AnonoBoy · 15-12-2014 02:40AM

lufties wrote: »

All I asked was if anyone knew where to go that wasn't a sausage fest, no attitude there.

You can't figure that stuff out by yourself.... that's probably one of your problems there.

Women love a man that doesn't have to ask strangers advice online about where to meet them but then disparages the advice he gets from the website where he's asking for advice from.

Bit of a Catch 22 innit guv'nor?

Don't worry - ask a grown-up and they'll explain that reference for you.

bodice ripper · 15-12-2014 02:44AM

lufties wrote: »

I couldn't give a damn about the women on boards. I give my opinion without having to conform to what others think. All I asked was if anyone knew where to go that wasn't a sausage fest, no attitude there. I do shiftwork so that can be isolating and hard on the body and mind. I'm not desperate, if I was I would've requested the numbers of ladies I met at the weekend that I wasn't attracted to.

Your post reeks of condescension btw, but thats the irish way isn't it? Slam anyone who may have an opinion. by being polite I meant in general, I have plenty of personality and im a confudent person,but due to my lifestyle with shiftwork its hard to get an outlet to have an opportunity to meet someone. Im not getting any younger either so hence im being proactive.

The poster must just be a stuck-up ice queen....

lufties · 15-12-2014 02:56AM

The Strawman Argument wrote: »

Attractiveness isn't driven exclusively by looks, just because you look above average for a guy doesn't mean that you're going to be immediately appealing to women who you'd consider on a similar level of attractiveness as yourself.
The fact these measures are defined in your own head could easily mean you've ridiculously high standards in some area or another too.

btw, I wasn't really suggesting lowering your standards, your supply & demand comment contained a flaw with the attractive women part so I just had to point it out (you had it as a binary attribute for the women but not for the men whereas it'd be more likely to be the replacement for price/cost in such a curve :cool:). A person self consciously opting to be with someone they deem to be beneath them sounds like a disaster.

No need to tell me to suck eggs, I am well aware of myself and confident. I've had many attractive women in the past, but also had less than attractive ones that weren't interested. I know looks isn't everything but it does help if you have a nice body and well kept.

lufties · 15-12-2014 02:58AM

AnonoBoy wrote: »

You can't figure that stuff out by yourself.... that's probably one of your problems there.

Women love a man that doesn't have to ask strangers advice online about where to meet them but then disparages the advice he gets from the website where he's asking for advice from.

Bit of a Catch 22 innit guv'nor?

Don't worry - ask a grown-up and they'll explain that reference for you.

Ah I see, so men can't ask for advice or different opinions, women don't like it? Jesus are they that fussy these days.

aaronjumper · 15-12-2014 03:06AM

I think it might be the aggressive attitude that is making people be curt with you. Do you get easily angry if you get sent on your way?

AndonHandon · 15-12-2014 03:15AM

I don't think it's creepy to chat up a girl at the gym. I don't start up a conversation to chat her up but offer some assistance for example if there were no benches I would volunteer my face for her to sit on as an alternative.

lanos · 15-12-2014 03:23AM

--LOS-- wrote: »

Ah ye coz being manipulative is so attractive.

being manipulative, if done correctly is neither attractive nor unattractive
it is covert,therefore not noticed so that's a stupid comment :P

anyway I qualified my advice by recommending that the OP would be genuine in his efforts.
that's no more manipulative than a woman wearing an extra padded bra to look/feel better on a night out.

and who cares if its manipulative, it bloody works.

Lyaiera · 15-12-2014 03:25AM

I think the feminism classes was the best suggestion so far. A Stich 'n Bitch might also work if you think you could be interested in knitting or crochet.

DivingDuck · 15-12-2014 03:36AM

lufties wrote: »

I do yoga but the women are mostly stuck up or don't want to be chatted up.

I'm going to be honest with you, OP: it seems like your attitude might be the problem. Your comments in this thread read as very entitled and though you feel like women who are just going about their daily business owe you attention if you deem them worthy of conversation. They do not owe you anything, and it isn't stuck up to be disinterested in being chatted up at a place they probably go to chill out and relax.

You say you are well-educated, polite, attractive, and you made a point to comment that your yoga class is in a "posh" part of London. From this I can only infer that you feel you are a catch: looks, money, manners, smarts. Those are great things. But there is an undercurrent in your posts of anger at women in general, a feeling that women should just fall into your lap because you are such a great guy. That's something most women can feel a mile off.

And none of them like it.

You might not be aware that your feelings and opinions read this way to other people, which is why you are surprised that women are "not interested" in you, despite all of the above. However, they are probably quite clearly apparent to the ladies you approach, and I think this is why you're having trouble getting a girl.

If you want to have more luck with women, it's not avoiding places with a high volume of competition that will help, it's examining your opinions, attitudes, feelings, and behaviours and questioning why they might be repelling the kind of girl you'd like to attract. You may only present those opinions in their direct form here, but you feel them all the time, and that's what's making women lose interest in you, because even if you try to keep them under your hat, they will colour what you say and people will pick up on that.

A little self-reflection and an internal acknowledgement that women are people who do not owe you anything just because you exist will bring you more dates than if you crash-landed on the snoo-snoo planet from Futurama looking Chris Hemsworth but giving off the attitude that women owed you their time and should be grateful for your interest.

kowloon · 15-12-2014 03:41AM

There's a club I'm in but unfortunately the first rule is I'm not allowed tell you about it.

lufties · 15-12-2014 05:43AM

DivingDuck wrote: »

I'm going to be honest with you, OP: it seems like your attitude might be the problem. Your comments in this thread read as very entitled and though you feel like women who are just going about their daily business owe you attention if you deem them worthy of conversation. They do not owe you anything, and it isn't stuck up to be disinterested in being chatted up at a place they probably go to chill out and relax.

You say you are well-educated, polite, attractive, and you made a point to comment that your yoga class is in a "posh" part of London. From this I can only infer that you feel you are a catch: looks, money, manners, smarts. Those are great things. But there is an undercurrent in your posts of anger at women in general, a feeling that women should just fall into your lap because you are such a great guy. That's something most women can feel a mile off.

And none of them like it.

You might not be aware that your feelings and opinions read this way to other people, which is why you are surprised that women are "not interested" in you, despite all of the above. However, they are probably quite clearly apparent to the ladies you approach, and I think this is why you're having trouble getting a girl.

If you want to have more luck with women, it's not avoiding places with a high volume of competition that will help, it's examining your opinions, attitudes, feelings, and behaviours and questioning why they might be repelling the kind of girl you'd like to attract. You may only present those opinions in their direct form here, but you feel them all the time, and that's what's making women lose interest in you, because even if you try to keep them under your hat, they will colour what you say and people will pick up on that.

A little self-reflection and an internal acknowledgement that women are people who do not owe you anything just because you exist will bring you more dates than if you crash-landed on the snoo-snoo planet from Futurama looking Chris Hemsworth but giving off the attitude that women owed you their time and should be grateful for your interest.

Wow, what a right load of waffle. I do not feel entitled at all. Women talk ad nauseum about being confident. Well, I am confident. I don't see how smiling at someone and getting a cold look can be sensed as anything but being friendly. If we can't smike or approach in a polite manner, what else can be done?

Annasopra · 15-12-2014 09:46AM

GalwayGuitar wrote: »

Lol op tries that approach and ends up getting raped.

Wtf?

AnonoBoy · 15-12-2014 09:50AM

lufties wrote: »

Ah I see, so men can't ask for advice or different opinions, women don't like it? Jesus are they that fussy these days.

Well in a few years when you get to talk to a real life woman you can ask them yourself.

Annasopra · 15-12-2014 09:54AM

lufties wrote: »

Wow, what a right load of waffle. I do not feel entitled at all. Women talk ad nauseum about being confident. Well, I am confident. I don't see how smiling at someone and getting a cold look can be sensed as anything but being friendly. If we can't smike or approach in a polite manner, what else can be done?

The thing is though quite a few posters here do think your attitude is off putting. Maybe just maybe it's your fault ant the "stuck up ice queens"

Avoiding sausage fests

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