children??

old hippy · 27-01-2013 12:57AM

margio wrote: »

I know there are pros and cons, but the way things have gone, kids are now the bosses. maybe parents are trying to adjust to new types of discipline. I myself think physical punishment aslong as it is done properly and not aggressively is a fast and effective way of dealing with unruly kids. Other methods I feel can drag on and create a tense unloving atmosphere between a parent and child. Only my opinion though:)

Being denied my fave telly programmes at the time was quite effective.

Are kids the bosses these days? I'm reminded of this quote which goes to show some things don't change

"The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for
authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place
of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their
households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They
contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties
at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.

- Socrates.

guppy · 27-01-2013 12:59AM

margio wrote: »

kids today lack the discipline that we were brought up with. A good slap would await us if we behaved like that in our own house, not to mind anyone elses. Irish society has gone way too soft on kids. You can't blame the kids, 'spare the rod spoil the child'. They aren't privileged enough to be thought right from wrong, the way we were. Yes folks, looking back on the slaps I got in my childhood, I call it a privilege, because I was thought right from wrong, and always behaved perfectly in other people's houses. Kids today haven't a clue, so God only knows what kind of Adults they will become. Just back from my sister's house, where her nephew in law was also in the house. By God, it was like being in the middle of a hurricane. Would love to have given the Mother a slap. If you allow you child to run amuck in others houses, your not fit to raise kids. This country is gone to the dogs in relation to discipline:mad:

No, you've just encountered crap parents. It is an epidemic I'll grant you, but it's not all-pervasive.

How do you prevent it from infecting your home? Don't take crap. Simple as.

Are you a parent? Treat other kids like your own.

Are you without kids? (the question of 'right now' or 'ever' is irrelevant), just make sure the kids in your life know that they need to respect your belongings and your boundaries.

Do the parents of said kids get in the way of your free-time plans? Easy. Talk to the kids, give them the rules. Adults believe rules are loose, but kids must obey (they're in school, they're used to it), just keep telling the kid the rules of the house, ignore the "adult", eventually the kid will learn correct behaviour. You may need to cut the adult free at this stage and make new friends if the above does not work

Crea · 27-01-2013 01:15AM

Practice saying the following "No ......... in this house please" and smile.
It works very well. EG: No children upstairs in this house, no messing with ornaments in this house, no jumping on the furniture in this house. My mother does this with my kids if they get out of hand but usually i'm in before her.

Also, keep the dog away from them. Put him into another room better still upstairs. If he bites he may have to be put down.

old hippy · 27-01-2013 01:22AM

Many years ago, my mother took us to the circus to see all manner of cruelty and spectacle. Although the defining memory of it for me was the two kids my mother insisted on getting them to wipe the seats (our seats - they had just stood on with their muddy wellingtons).

The kids mother went bananas and told my mom that she "shouldn't be allowed out"

CelticRambler · 27-01-2013 01:43AM

It works both ways. There was one time my mother wanted our eldest (age about 1.5) in the room with us when we were having a big family dinner, so she wedges a playpen in between the dresser and a table with her best wedding china on it and a heap of cutlery. We tried to tell her that the young fella was going through a "tapping" phase (he was driving us mad with it) and he was going to do damage and could we leave him on his own somewhere.

Since when did an Irish Mammy ever listen to her own son? "Ah, no, sure he'll be grand ..."

He was; the plates weren't. She had him out of the room before he started on the third one.

Lando Griffin · 27-01-2013 01:58AM

Iv asked parents of children to get them to stop putting their grubby hands on my drapes. I got a look as if to say WTF but they did. I have also asked one of the parents of said children to stop eating all the rice krispie buns.

shruikan2553 · 27-01-2013 02:33AM

Im surprised we havent had more Ah sure its just kids being kids/you dont understand because you dont have any children etc. Finding a sticky mouth print on your laptop after a visit from one and then watching the confused dog that has never had contact with children before wondering why a small human keeps chasing her was fun.

CollardGreens · 27-01-2013 02:46AM

My Momma & Deddy kept us in the cage until we were old enough for school.

old hippy · 27-01-2013 02:50AM

CollardGreens wrote: »

My Momma & Deddy kept us in the cage until we were old enough for school.

A cage, you say? Luxury, I was chained to the out house in all weather and much the better for it...

Red Pepper · 27-01-2013 11:48AM

Right. I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night, half an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad and our mother would kill us and dance about on our graves singing Hallelujah.

Geri Male · 27-01-2013 12:47PM

lennyloulou wrote: »

my cuz has 2 lunatic kids who proceed to dismantle my house every time they arrive...7 and 4 yrs
my cousin and partner dont bat an eye lid..

cuz = cousin ???

WHAT THE F*UCK

NicoleAScully · 03-12-2014 11:12AM

Personally, I think that you should have a right to give rules as its your house but be nice about it. Also, if the children are looking for something and you don't have it ask do they want something else. If the children are misbehaving tell the parents to calm them down and to have manners whilst in someone else's home.

whiskeyman · 03-12-2014 11:16AM

NicoleAScully wrote: »

Personally, I think that you should have a right to give rules as its your house but be nice about it. Also, if the children are looking for something and you don't have it ask do they want something else. If the children are misbehaving tell the parents to calm them down and to have manners whilst in someone else's home.

Nearly a 2 year drag up?
It's the naughty step for you Nicole!

bottlebrush · 03-12-2014 11:27AM

I'm not allowed bring in my dog to my friends/relations houses so I'll be damned if I'll have their kids thrashing my house. And I say this to the parents. Their house, their rules. My house, my rules.

Zanablue · 03-12-2014 11:47AM

My sister in law came over a few years ago with her two unruly brats and started running around with them wrecking the place and tried to get my kids to do the same. The gas part was her house was always feckin perfect and we were only allowed visit when invited. My son was getting upset because one of them was breaking a favourite toy so I took it off the child and put it up. Well the tantrum that followed was wonderful. I had had enough at this stage so I calmly said in front of his mother "If you don't behave mummy has to take you and go" My wonderful nephew kept it up and my sister in law said would you not just give him the toy and Ill buy you a new one. I told her again to control him or leave. She left and she wasn't very happy with me for a while but it's my house and now when they come over they behave because I don't accept any less.

03-12-2014 11:52AM

whiskeyman wrote: »

Nearly a 2 year drag up?
It's the naughty step for you Nicole!

Indeed but perhaps the OP will now use this as a chance to give us an update. I do so enjoy seeing how these things panned out in the end

Pumpkinseeds · 03-12-2014 12:04PM

Parenting seems a lot more lax than it was in the 70's/80's. There would be absolutely no way we'd have been allowed to run around anyone's house. I'd have no hesitation in telling the parents that their kids were not allowed to run around my house, they certainly wouldn't be going into bedrooms and rooting around. If the parents are offended then that's just too damn bad and they can take their kids elsewhere. There's too much permissive parenting going on, kids need boundaries and it's a parents job to teach them that, not be their friend.

ash23 · 03-12-2014 12:14PM

I wouldn't hesitate to tell off a child in my house. I remember my nephew saying "I'm allowed at home" and I said this wasn't his home. I have different rules in my house and if my child has to obey them, so does he.

I don't give out when they start doing something I just say "lads, that's not allowed in this house". Usually stops them straight away.

Zanablue · 03-12-2014 12:15PM

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

Parenting seems a lot more lax than it was in the 70's/80's. There would be absolutely no way we'd have been allowed to run around anyone's house. I'd have no hesitation in telling the parents that their kids were not allowed to run around my house, they certainly wouldn't be going into bedrooms and rooting around. If the parents are offended then that's just too damn bad and they can take their kids elsewhere. There's too much permissive parenting going on, kids need boundaries and it's a parents job to teach them that, not be their friend.

Parenting these days isn't just lax it's non existent in some cases. Don't get me wrong I like children but I am really strict with mine so I find it hard to take crap from other peoples children.

FTA69 · 03-12-2014 12:50PM

Alice1 wrote: »

Ah Stinky stole my idea! I was going to say keep a coat near the door and when you see cuz & co arriving put the coat on and say "Oh I'm just on my way out to hairdresser/ church/ whatever" You could always answer the door in your PJs and say "Oh I won't invite you in - I've got a terrible cold and I wouldn't want to pass it on to you"

Christ above, grown adults hurriedly changing into pyjamas in order to concoct a pack of lies to avoid someone's kids. Politely tell them that you're busy when they call around and hope they get the message.

Life's too short to waste it humouring people who are clearly total c*nts.

suicide_circus · 03-12-2014 12:55PM

Zanablue wrote: »

My sister in law came over a few years ago with her two unruly brats and started running around with them wrecking the place and tried to get my kids to do the same. The gas part was her house was always feckin perfect and we were only allowed visit when invited. My son was getting upset because one of them was breaking a favourite toy so I took it off the child and put it up. Well the tantrum that followed was wonderful. I had had enough at this stage so I calmly said in front of his mother "If you don't behave mummy has to take you and go" My wonderful nephew kept it up and my sister in law said would you not just give him the toy and Ill buy you a new one. I told her again to control him or leave. She left and she wasn't very happy with me for a while but it's my house and now when they come over they behave because I don't accept any less.

So rather than disciplining her child for breaking the toy and throwing a tantrum, she wanted you give her child your child's toy in order to stop him throwing the tantrum?
That kid will grow up to be a prick.

OldNotWIse · 03-12-2014 12:56PM

I wouldn't want to for fear of being lit on by an hysterical parent, but if they were pulling on my dog I would definitely have to do something.

At a friend's house over the weekend and her nephew was there. Cute little four year old, seemed to really warm to us and I wound up having great fun playing with him - who knew a human could be so easily amused by running out at you from behind the sofa, and having boo shouted at him each time?

But then he just changed and became a little crank and wound up hitting my OH! I thought she was gonna deck him lol

Zanablue · 03-12-2014 01:02PM

suicide_circus wrote: »

So rather than disciplining her child for breaking the toy and throwing a tantrum, she wanted you give her child your child's toy in order to stop him throwing the tantrum?
That kid will grow up to be a prick.

Oh he is nearly ten now and throws the best tantrums ever and she tries to guilt you into doing whatever he wants. I don't give in to my kids and they wouldn't dare throw tantrums like that so I won't give in to him either. Thankfully we don't see them that often.

suicide_circus · 03-12-2014 01:06PM

Zanablue wrote: »

Oh he is nearly ten now and throws the best tantrums ever and she tries to guilt you into doing whatever he wants. I don't give in to my kids and they wouldn't dare throw tantrums like that so I won't give in to him either. Thankfully we don't see them that often.

I'd actually feel sorry for the kid, discipline is one of the most important gifts we bestow upon our children.

WoollyRedHat · 03-12-2014 01:55PM

It's also going to contribute to unseemly behaviour at school, where the child will disrupt other children's education because they have been poorly disciplined.
The parents are infilitrating the school with little terrors.
Seems like there should be a class just for them.

gerrybbadd · 07-07-2017 01:40AM

katiemurphy24 wrote: »

I was at in a 'friends' house for dinner and their four year old child repeatedly asked me when i was going to get a job and preceded to say i was lazy and stayed in bed all day. (i was unemployed at the time )

When I confronted my 'friend' about what her daughter said she said she couldn't believe I got upset over the words of a four year old. Do four year old children retain such information or care if people or in employment or not?

She's 4. Almost as old as the thread you resurrected. Why are you taking the words of a very small child so badly?

Canis Lupus · 07-07-2017 01:40AM

gedouddahere

fatknacker · 07-07-2017 10:04AM

When are you going to get a job?

children??

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