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what is the funniest insult you have ever heard?

245

Comments

  • #32
    Kesly
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 437 ✭✭Kesly


    Summer wind wrote: »
    Your vagina has been used more than google.

    I JUST ALMOST PISSED MYSELF!!!


  • #33
    tampopo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,489 ✭✭✭tampopo


    a work colleague said of a customer/member of the public, "I'd say he pees sitting down".


  • #34
    letsgetloud
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 57 ✭✭letsgetloud


    my favourite would probably be " I wouldn't get up on her to get over the mountjoy wall".


  • #35
    Cantona's Collars
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 33,709 ✭✭✭✭Cantona's Collars


    "You should be tied to a cows tail and scuttered to death"


  • #36
    KomradeBishop
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,981 ✭✭✭KomradeBishop


    "Tbh, I'd love to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my arse."


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  • #37
    Insect Overlord
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 31,263 Mod ✭✭✭✭Insect Overlord


    KomradeBishop wrote: »
    "Tbh, I'd love to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my arse."

    A friend of mine got a suspension from school, back in the day, for saying that to our principal.


  • #38
    Kesly
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 437 ✭✭Kesly


    So, it has just been brought to my attention just how small Ireland really is by one of my dear facebook friends . How many of you guys do you think actually know each other and don't know it?


  • #39
    greedygoblin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,668 ✭✭✭greedygoblin


    Kesly wrote: »
    quick question... what is a rereg?

    Rereg = someone who has closed their account and re-registered with a new name.


  • #40
    Kesly
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 437 ✭✭Kesly


    greedygoblin wrote: »
    Rereg = someone who has closed their account and re-registered with a new name.

    THANK YOU! lol. nobody ever answers my questions on here /:


  • #41
    Summer wind
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,285 ✭✭✭Summer wind


    What's the difference between you and a rooster? The rooster says "cock a doodle doo but you say "any cock"ll do.


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  • #42
    Kesly
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 437 ✭✭Kesly


    Summer wind wrote: »
    What's the difference between you and a rooster? The rooster says "cock a doodle doo but you say "any cock"ll do.

    I love you. lets get married. <3 lol
    (even if you are a girl.. we can do it in California)


  • #43
    Knex*
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,475 ✭✭✭✭Knex*


    Your dog hates you


  • #44
    Kesly
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 437 ✭✭Kesly


    Knex. wrote: »
    Your dog hates you

    I would be so sad if someone sai this to me. ):


  • #45
    Pat Mustard
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,554 ✭✭✭Pat Mustard


    Kesly wrote: »
    I am particularly fond of putting nouns in front of the word c*nt.
    Swampc*nt, Thunderc*unt etc...

    Reminds me of this:

    (offensive language, etc etc.)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dy7kb5ABsyk


  • #46
    Kesly
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 437 ✭✭Kesly


    The Mustard wrote: »
    Reminds me of this:

    (offensive language, etc etc.)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dy7kb5ABsyk

    OHMYGOD! Lol!!!!
    Win (:


  • #47
    Knex*
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,475 ✭✭✭✭Knex*


    Kesly wrote: »
    I would be so sad if someone sai this to me. ):

    One of my mates said it to me on a night out after I took the piss out of him for something, and I've rarely laughed as much :pac:


  • #48
    Summer wind
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,285 ✭✭✭Summer wind


    I would call you a c*unt but you don't have the warmth or the depth!


  • #49
    Pat Mustard
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,554 ✭✭✭Pat Mustard


    Another classic Malcolm Tucker insult:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aa-LSJBraXE


  • #50
    Juan More Time
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 173 ✭✭Juan More Time


    He/She has a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp:D


  • #51
    bodhrandude
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,324 ✭✭✭✭bodhrandude


    This had me in stitches, Nadine's put down of Ado in the season 5 finale of Love/Hate: 'Shurrup to fcuk you fat fukin pr1ck.'

    If you want to get into it, you got to get out of it. (Hawkwind 1982)



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  • #52
    Summer wind
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,285 ✭✭✭Summer wind


    Yeah keep spreading rumours it makes a change from spreading your legs.


  • #53
    Charlie19
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,122 ✭✭✭✭Charlie19


    Justin Credible Darts wrote: »
    my alltime favorite

    go fuk yerself

    If you dont like using swear words, You could always use the clean version 'go finger yourself'

    For that stingy person you know. 'Your so tight, you only breath in'


  • #54
    greedygoblin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,668 ✭✭✭greedygoblin


    The following scene from True Romance (not for the faint-hearted):

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3yon2GyoiM


  • #55
    bodhrandude
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,324 ✭✭✭✭bodhrandude


    greedygoblin wrote: »
    The following scene from True Romance (not for the faint-hearted):

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3yon2GyoiM

    Absolute class, I seen another film recently on RTE called Suicide Kings from the 1990s too, Walken plays a kinda similar Mafia character.

    If you want to get into it, you got to get out of it. (Hawkwind 1982)



  • #56
    greedygoblin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,668 ✭✭✭greedygoblin


    bodhrandude wrote: »
    Absolute class, I seen another film recently on RTE called Suicide Kings from the 1990s too, Walken plays a kinda similar Mafia character.

    Must check that out. Great actor.


  • #57
    --LOS--
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,028 ✭✭✭✭--LOS--


    A classic from the mother....


    She's not fat but she's the full of that dress anyway


  • #58
    deafroadrunner
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,639 ✭✭✭deafroadrunner


    Your like a snooker table. your getting it from all angles.


  • #59
    blinding
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 7,462 ✭✭✭blinding


    A put down to a liar

    "I would't believe your radio "


  • #60
    Autonomous Cowherd
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,100 ✭✭✭Autonomous Cowherd


    They are two cheeks on the same arse.


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  • #61
    worded
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,915 ✭✭✭worded


    From father ted. Ya fecker, yah bolix etc

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_h5ICMmfasw


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