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Hi all, please see this major site announcement: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058427594/boards-ie-2026
Do you know what you want from your life?
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DoYouEvenLift wrote: »So happy for you!
masculinist wrote: »All the best. As a poster you seem very sound and well balanced considering your ordeals. I hope everything works out the way you want it.
Aww thanks , the OP's problem is they are thinking in BIG instead of thinking in small, seriously when I transitioned all the big stuff didn't matter to me, it was stuff I'd have to wait for so there was no point obsessing about it so I changed my thinking to the small stuff and no mess one thing that made me really happy was socks, most people would think it would be underwear or something but to me it was socks. As a guy I was limited to brown, dark blue, grey, black and white socks whereas as a girl I can wear any colour I like. When I first transitioned I spent about €100 on socks of various patterns and colours because I swear every single day putting on luminous green or luminous pink socks with butterflies on them put a smile on my face and made me proud of myself because it would make me think "holy sh*t I really did this"
I know from experience that the big things can be so overwhelming but if everyone found a little thing, just one tiny insignificant thing that makes no difference to anyone else but puts a smile on their face they would be able to deal with the wait for the big things0 -
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Your'e brave coming here.
Maybe after about three
pages you might get an
answer that helps. . .
How could any answer help? no one can tell the OP what to do in their own life all they can do is answer the question "And now, over to you. Did you/do you know what you want from your life?"which is all everyone is doing so to imply that every reply is useless and not on topic is at the very least rude and at the very most trolling or trying to brown nose the op for some reason since your post was before that three page mark too and added no useful info either or did you just not see that?0 -
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Fiery mutant wrote: »I want my children to grow up to be happy and the best that they can be. Watching them smile is enough to make my day perfect.
I love your reply - it makes me sad for all the years of smiles I missed out on with my daughter because she didn't grow up with me (I placed her with an adopted family) but reminds me to focus on the fact that I did get to see her smiling in lots of photographs and, unlike a lot of birthmothers, I have the comfort of knowing where she is and how she's doing.Aww thanks , the OP's problem is they are thinking in BIG instead of thinking in small
Haha, thanks for the drive-through diagnosis. The OP's problem is she drank an entire bottle of wine last night (celebrating my first week in a new job after 5 months of unemployment) and couldn't talk herself out of starting a new thread to ask others if they know what they want from their life. Trust me, I know all about finding joy in the small stuff while waiting for the big stuff to be ready for its time in the limelight.Your'e brave coming here.
Maybe after about three
pages you might get an
answer that helps. . .
I'm not looking for an answer that helps, no-one, as Chunners said, has the answer for anyone else - I'm simply curious to hear how other people approach their life; with a clear and definite plan or half a step behind it as it unfurls in front of them. Sometimes when I'm on a busy early morning bus, heading to work, I find myself full of curiosity about my fellow travelers' head space and would love to ask them are they just going through the motions or are they executing a well-thought out plan or are they simply rolling with the punches and finding joy wherever it will allow itself to be found. Or, none of the above. So many people, so many different lives; so many questions I'd love to ask.0 -
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PizzamanIRL wrote: »I suppose this post from reddit's Today I ****ed Up kind of belongs here
TIFU my whole life. My regrets as a 46 year old, and advice to others at a crossroad
Yikes, compared to his 46 years on the planet, I feel like I've made great use of my own 46 years. As I said in my opening post, in the last few years I've begun to wonder if there's a lot to be said for not knowing what you want to do with your life and just letting it lead you instead of you trying to lead it; if you aren't one of those people who knows from a young age what you want to do or where you want to get to.
I've changed a lot in the last two years, changed for the better. There are a few key things I've been trying to deal with/alter for the best part of fifteen years and had reached a point of feeling like I was never going to break free, but, thankfully, my perseverance paid off and finally the fog began to lift. I'm not out of the woods yet but I'm not thrashing about quite as desperately as I once was.
I find it helpful to hear other people's stories. Gives me a healthier perspective and makes me realise I'm not doing too badly, all things considered. And that, in turn, helps me to make better choices for my future. It's good to talk 0 -
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Mister Vain wrote: »I thought you with your chiseled good looks and 8% body fat would have achieved that already.
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Donald Muscular Pig wrote: »OP, I think you think too much. I'm in my seventy first year and have arrived bin a great place. I don't know how I got her but it was a wonderful journey. Yes bumps and bends along the way by always happy. I never looked on anything as a plan, it was more just getting non with life.
Stop thinking about not and just get on with, and live with, it.
I respectfully decline to take your advice, Donald Muscular Pig. To be honest, even if I wanted to 'stop thinking' I wouldn't be able to, but I don't want to. Thinking is an important part of who I am.
For one: I write short stories and need my thinking cap to continue collecting thoughts for me to be able to do that.
For another: If I was to just 'get on with it' I'd find life intolerable. Like an automaton blindly shunting its way from birth to death. Of course, I have to 'just get on with it' to some degree, because bills need to be paid, and food needs to be eaten to keep me alive, but there are so many curiosities and wonders in the world to be thought about and delved into, to walk past them without giving them any of my grey matter's attention would be a terrible waste of having a mind that likes to investigate. 0 -
Fizzlesque wrote: »I respectfully decline to take your advice, Srameen. To be honest, even if I wanted to 'stop thinking' I wouldn't be able to, but I don't want to. Thinking is an important part of who I am.
For one: I write short stories and need my thinking cap to continue collecting thoughts for me to be able to do that.
For another: If I was to just 'get on with it' I'd find life intolerable. Like an automaton blindly shunting its way from birth to death. Of course, I have to 'just get on with it' to some degree, because bills need to be paid, and food needs to be eaten to keep me alive, but there are so many curiosities and wonders in the world to be thought about and delved into, to walk past them without giving them any of my grey matter's attention would be a terrible waste of having a mind that likes to investigate.
That sounds woefully like me!
I'm always going over permutations and possibilities in my head, sometimes it can be a pain and I wish I could switch off, but more times I've found it useful in certain circumstances. I don't know if I'll ever learn to live with it though because I don't have the creative ability to do anything like writing stories or create music or art, my brain just doesn't seem to be able to do that stuff and that does seem like an outlet for a lot of people.
Tbh I knew what I wanted for myself from an early age, my mother laughed when I told her that "computers are the paper and pencil of tomorrow!", and so I knew I wanted to work with computers. All that time though, I've always been a humanitarian, and so I liked helping other people achieve their dreams and goals, and it became a goal of mine on the side so to speak.
Nowadays I get to combine my passion for IT with my passion for helping people achieve their dreams (another passion of mine is education), so I guess in that sense I'm constantly achieving what I want from life - seeing other people achieve their goals and dreams makes me happy.
I always preferred to work in the background, I'm just more comfortable being a nobody as such, it allows me to do the work I do best, which is the complete opposite of most of the people I work with who just want people to recognise their existence. I sometimes think it's one of those "be careful what you wish for" things, as I've been where they are, and there's times I wish I could go back, but I can't.
I haven't gotten everything I wanted from life yet, I know what I want though, which is what gets me up in the morning.0 -
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One eyed Jack wrote: »That sounds woefully like me! I'm always going over permutations and possibilities in my head, sometimes it can be a pain and I wish I could switch off, but more times I've found it useful in certain circumstances. I don't know if I'll ever learn to live with it though because I don't have the creative ability to do anything like writing stories or create music or art, my brain just doesn't seem to be able to do that stuff and that does seem like an outlet for a lot of people.
Yeah, I'm not sure if the creativity of writing drives my thoughts to keep turning the way they do or if the eternally turning thoughts drive my need to write. A 'which came first, the chicken or the egg' situation, I guess. Oddly enough, reading Srameen's post and writing my reply made me wonder if somewhere deep in my subconscious I always knew that becoming a writer was what I wanted to do with my life. I used write a lot as young girl but it's only in the last few years I've begun to give it the energy it deserves. I'm dreadfully undisciplined, and terrible for not finishing things, but this year (in particular) I have found my focus at long last.
I'm glad for you that you always knew what you wanted to do, because, as you say, without a creative outlet for the permutations and possibilities you're always churning inside your head, it would be tiresome to never be able to switch off and have all that stuff floating about inside your head with nowhere to go and of no use to anyone.Hi Fizzlesque, I answered last night without thinking too much so I would like to give a proper answer. What I want from life is to be happy, and to be able to live my life the way I want without anyone judging or fighting with me.. I don't have much money but I have beautiful kids and a wonderful husband and lots of friends, so I am happy for the most part. Like other posters I also had a wonderful father and grandmother until 2 years ago and I thank god I had them in my life for so long. At the moment I am dealing with a very needy controlling and judgmental family member. I have to stand my ground a lot and that brings me down. So what I want is to watch my kids finish growing up, to be happy and content and just have a peaceful life, I know I will get there eventually.
Hi Zanablue, thanks for coming back to give a new answer. It sounds like you've got what most of us want for ourselves and the people in our lives ; happiness and lots of love.
Minus the controlling and needy family member, of course, nobody needs that in their lives. I hope standing your ground does the trick and puts an end to their power to affect your life negatively. 0 -
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Fizzlesque wrote: »I respectfully decline to take your advice, Srameen. To be honest, even if I wanted to 'stop thinking' I wouldn't be able to, but I don't want to. Thinking is an important part of who I am.
For one: I write short stories and need my thinking cap to continue collecting thoughts for me to be able to do that.
For another: If I was to just 'get on with it' I'd find life intolerable. Like an automaton blindly shunting its way from birth to death. Of course, I have to 'just get on with it' to some degree, because bills need to be paid, and food needs to be eaten to keep me alive, but there are so many curiosities and wonders in the world to be thought about and delved into, to walk past them without giving them any of my grey matter's attention would be a terrible waste of having a mind that likes to investigate.
Addiction to thought causes untold suffering. Learn to stop thinking occasionally, it's therapeutic.0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A939QRRSNV4
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