Do you know what you want from your life?

Fizzlesque

Do you know what you want from your life?

I've been alive for 46 years and during the last few years I have been gently (by life's later flow) encouraged to accept that oftentimes letting life unfurl in its own time, in its own way, is better than trying to force to go it in a particular direction.

When I was heading out into the world, twenty odd years ago, I wasn't lucky enough to have a direction; a place I wanted to arrive at. All I wanted was freedom from the rules and restrictions I saw around me.

Maybe I was lucky because I was allowed to go make silly mistakes and on the heels of those mistakes find out what I didn't want - sometimes the consequences of those mistakes have been good, sometimes they've been bad. Either way, they've been my mistakes - taking the word in its truest form: missed takes. Some have lead me well, others not so well.

I remember very clearly how much twenty year old me wanted to find her place in the world, and thirty year old me wanted to believe there was a place in the world for her to find. Forty plus me sees why it was better for me not to travel some roads, even though I did travel some of them.

I wish I could say I always followed my instinct, but I didn't. Sometimes I shoved it roughly aside and acted against it, but here I am, now, and I know I can still make good from the bad. It might have been better, but equally, it might have been worse. Who knows? It is what it is.

And now, over to you. Did you/do you know what you want from your life?

DoYouEvenLift

I'll tell you what I want, man. 2 chicks at the same time, man.

Cee-Jay-Cee

Yes I know but I'm not telling you as you'll only copy me.

Talib Fiasco

Money, cars, clothes, hoes.

Fin

Cantremember

Meh.

Sheep Lover

A euro more than I can spend.

And a sex dungeon full of promiscuous women.

eviltwin

Still trying to figure it all out

Summer wind

To be happy healthy wealthy and wise.

Fiery mutant

I want my children to grow up to be happy and the best that they can be. Watching them smile is enough to make my day perfect.

Starscream25

To defeat my enemies, see them driven before me and to hear the lamentation of the women.

pharmaton

I want to talk to my dad. He's been dead fifteen years but yeah, I have never been able to fill the space that he left and I would have liked to have had some kind of substitute who would tell me what I should want from life or even just to have some guidance through it. That would be great. Preferably not in the flesh though. That would be scary.

wait, I figured it out, its about having somebody that actually cares in your life. yeah, that would have been nice.

Zanablue

Im married with two kids and I still don't know what I want from life. I suppose I just go with the flow.

PizzamanIRL

I suppose this post from reddit's Today I ****ed Up kind of belongs here

TIFU my whole life. My regrets as a 46 year old, and advice to others at a crossroad

What I really want in life is recognition. I want other people to look at me and go "damn, he's good at <insert something relevant here>, I wish I was more like him."

Never gonna happen though, so I just have to be content with aiming to not fúck up as often as possible. Which is a pretty depressing thought but meh, could be worse I guess.

masculinist

I want a solid gold rocket car

Cosmicfox

At the minute I just want to be earning my own money and supporting myself instead of depending on my parents (or dole if I could get it) and eventually start contributing.

I think I'm finally starting to get over my social anxiety and even had a job interview this week without fluffing half-way through. So it's a start I suppose (if they give me it of course).

Having a steady job I can face in the morning and a place to live is what I'm aiming for.

The Cool

Not a clue, currently in the midst of a quarter-life crisis, dunno what I'm supposed to be doing or what I'm supposed to want, I'm at the stage past all the fun stuff of college and travels, I'm too broke to do anything, my friends are getting married, and I'm like, is this it?

I suppose really, I want to feel proud of something, or that I achieved something worthwhile. Whatever the hell that is, answers on a postcard please

bodice ripper

A juggernaut heart and a Japanese car.

Mickey H

Eat, drink, get paid, get laid.

That is all.

masculinist

I want magic powers

Chunners

Getting a boob job in august, after that I'll be going for full gender reassignment which, for me, will be very easy to get. Hoping to get married next year after all the archaic laws that prevent myself and my other half (who I have been with 6 years) from doing so are abolished. For me life is very selfish in that I don't think about my past because that was another person living it, that was the "he" of me and all that past **** belongs to him whereas I, on the other hand, own now. Do I have a solid plan? f*ck no, do I care? not in the slightest because I spent 30 years of my life hating who I was and now I am not him anymore and I have no regrets from my past because 10 years ago I transitioned and left that past behind and wild horses couldn't drag me back there so every day for me is what I want from my life. There is a certain amount of joy you get from life as a Transsexual when you wake up every morning and get to tell yourself that it's not a dream and you do really live as female, after that there is fu*k all that could happen through the day that can be big enough to bring you down, after 10 years it still hasn't gotten old

the evasion_kid

A log cabin on a remote mountain in somewere like Canada with a river nearby to fish and maybe a squaw too

KERSPLAT!

I know what I want but I also know it's not going to be. Just have to drive on and see what happens. It'll all work out in the end, it has up to now at least.

razorgil

to be allowed to earn a bit of decent money in a job that promised me much, but then, when the "recession" came took away all opportunity to do so, and left me in a position where i can't afford to leave, and loathe staying, fúckers...

DoYouEvenLift

Chunners wrote: »

Getting a boob job in august, after that I'll be going for full gender reassignment which, for me, will be very easy to get. Hoping to get married next year after all the archaic laws that prevent myself and my other half (who I have been with 6 years) from doing so are abolished. For me life is very selfish in that I don't think about my past because that was another person living it, that was the "he" of me and all that past **** belongs to him whereas I, on the other hand, own now. Do I have a solid plan? f*ck no, do I care? not in the slightest because I spent 30 years of my life hating who I was and now I am not him anymore and I have no regrets from my past because 10 years ago I transitioned and left that past behind and wild horses couldn't drag me back there so every day for me is what I want from my life. There is a certain amount of joy you get from life as a Transsexual when you wake up every morning and get to tell yourself that it's not a dream and you do really live as female, after that there is fu*k all that could happen through the day that can be big enough to bring you down, after 10 years it still hasn't gotten old

So happy for you!

dreamers75

Be the best at whatever I do.

38 year old me has the same aims as 18 year old me.

Going well atm.

masculinist

Chunners wrote: »

Getting a boob job in august, after that I'll be going for full gender reassignment which, for me, will be very easy to get. Hoping to get married next year after all the archaic laws that prevent myself and my other half (who I have been with 6 years) from doing so are abolished. For me life is very selfish in that I don't think about my past because that was another person living it, that was the "he" of me and all that past **** belongs to him whereas I, on the other hand, own now. Do I have a solid plan? f*ck no, do I care? not in the slightest because I spent 30 years of my life hating who I was and now I am not him anymore and I have no regrets from my past because 10 years ago I transitioned and left that past behind and wild horses couldn't drag me back there so every day for me is what I want from my life. There is a certain amount of joy you get from life as a Transsexual when you wake up every morning and get to tell yourself that it's not a dream and you do really live as female, after that there is fu*k all that could happen through the day that can be big enough to bring you down, after 10 years it still hasn't gotten old

All the best. As a poster you seem very sound and well balanced considering your ordeals. I hope everything works out the way you want it.

RobbingBandit

I want to win the euromillions, put a contract out on mine enemies and buy a far off island with a no extradition pact.

Ficheall

At the moment, I want to get "fully" healthy. This will require actually fulfilling the usual vows to exercise and eat healthily, but possibly also surgery.

I think I want to abandon the career path I'm on, even though I've spent ten+ years studying to get here. This one requires a little cojones.

I want to be able to ensure my parents (and possibly wife and kids somewhere down the line) never want for anything.

I also want a boat.

The Th!ng

I'd like to be to knock over sky scrapers with my farts.

Belle E. Flops

I am not particularly talented at anything, unless I have an undiscovered talent. I will never be famous.
But I am pretty happy with life so far at the age of 26.

If, at the end of my days, I can say I am happy,
and if I know that it has mattered that I have lived,
then my life will have been a success.

Simonigs1.0

Truth be told, I'm not sure. I'm only 25, so maybe I have a few years ahead of me before I figure it out. I like where I am now though. I have a good job and a wonderful girlfriend. We have no debt and no money worries and we can buy nice things. I'm really grateful for this, because I know a lot of people who would like to be in our situation.

We are finalising our first house purchase at the moment, which is scary. Our friends are emigrating, travelling around the world, seeing loads of new places etc, and we have basically tied ourselves to here, but I don't know why. My girlfriend does not want kids, yet. Having kids would essentially put an end to her career, which she is not prepared to for another few years.

So, I'm not sure what exactly I want to do for the next 10 years. If I can get by doing as I am now, I will be happy.

ShadowHearth

What a fantastic question?

Even worse, that I have no answer to it and it makes me depressed as **** right now.

I am stuck between having a family and a child and being single and free.

lazybones32

I want it all...that's my problem. This life isn't long enough for me to do all I want.

jonbravo

whatever you do in this life, you'll need a safe pass...yes

kerry4sam

pharmaton wrote: »

I want to talk to my dad. He's been dead fifteen years but yeah, I have never been able to fill the space that he left and I would have liked to have had some kind of substitute who would tell me what I should want from life or even just to have some guidance through it. That would be great. Preferably not in the flesh though. That would be scary.

wait, I figured it out, its about having somebody that actually cares in your life. yeah, that would have been nice.

You know this reminds me of the countless times I'd be out for a drive with my Dad, never really mattered where we went, just the chats & laughs we'd always have.
Anywhoo, the countless times I'd turn & ask Dad "How come so many people just look so angry; serious and seldom seem to be smiling or laughing" when out in their cars. I just could NEVER figure it out. I always felt happy, secure, safe, and content at very least. Could never figure out why others never seemed to be the same.

Then my Late Loving Dad passed away on December 20th last, and I just don't know when last I was out for a drive with anyone and felt the way I did when out driving around with Dad.
What I want from my Life: To re-gain some happiness, genuine happiness; someone who cares for & loves me like Dad did - I don't have that & have not had that since Dad passed away ; a feeling of safety and security; be healthy...
That's my lot right now.
That too much to ask?
kerry4sam

The Strawman Argument

It took me until about 22 but I know exactly what I want, and it's vague as hell.



As an aside, I went to look up similes for "vague" and I found "Vague like a suggestion of solid darkness" by Joseph Conrad, which I like so much I might actually want to read Heart of Darkness! I stuck with hell because a good, intelligent simile wouldn't suit my writing style.

crockholm

kerry4sam wrote: »

You know this reminds me of the countless times I'd be out for a drive with my Dad, never really mattered where we went, just the chats & laughs we'd always have.
Anywhoo, the countless times I'd turn & ask Dad "How come so many people just look so angry; serious and seldom seem to be smiling or laughing" when out in their cars. I just could NEVER figure it out. I always felt happy, secure, safe, and content at very least. Could never figure out why others never seemed to be the same.

Then my Late Loving Dad passed away on December 20th last, and I just don't know when last I was out for a drive with anyone and felt the way I did when out driving around with Dad.
What I want from my Life: To re-gain some happiness, genuine happiness; someone who cares for & loves me like Dad did - I don't have that & have not had that since Dad passed away ; a feeling of safety and security; be healthy...
That's my lot right now.
That too much to ask?
kerry4sam

It will come to you too,it will take time,but a time will come when you let go of the hurt his passing caused and you remember the memories with fondness rather than sadness or regret..

Chunners

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

So happy for you!

masculinist wrote: »

All the best. As a poster you seem very sound and well balanced considering your ordeals. I hope everything works out the way you want it.

Aww thanks , the OP's problem is they are thinking in BIG instead of thinking in small, seriously when I transitioned all the big stuff didn't matter to me, it was stuff I'd have to wait for so there was no point obsessing about it so I changed my thinking to the small stuff and no mess one thing that made me really happy was socks, most people would think it would be underwear or something but to me it was socks. As a guy I was limited to brown, dark blue, grey, black and white socks whereas as a girl I can wear any colour I like. When I first transitioned I spent about €100 on socks of various patterns and colours because I swear every single day putting on luminous green or luminous pink socks with butterflies on them put a smile on my face and made me proud of myself because it would make me think "holy sh*t I really did this"

I know from experience that the big things can be so overwhelming but if everyone found a little thing, just one tiny insignificant thing that makes no difference to anyone else but puts a smile on their face they would be able to deal with the wait for the big things

Pwindedd

Don't have a plan and don't particularly want one. Ive had vague plans in the past and they didn't really pan out. Just let the wind blow me along now - In my 40s now and whilst nice things and money and security make life easier, I think it's important to enjoy yourself while you can. You could die in a flight simulator tomorrow.

policarp

Your'e brave coming here.
Maybe after about three
pages you might get an
answer that helps. . .

Chunners

policarp wrote: »

Your'e brave coming here.
Maybe after about three
pages you might get an
answer that helps. . .

How could any answer help? no one can tell the OP what to do in their own life all they can do is answer the question "And now, over to you. Did you/do you know what you want from your life?"which is all everyone is doing so to imply that every reply is useless and not on topic is at the very least rude and at the very most trolling or trying to brown nose the op for some reason since your post was before that three page mark too and added no useful info either or did you just not see that?

La Mer

"Life is wasted on the living."

Chunners

La Mer wrote: »

"Life is wasted on the living."

Naa it's not wasted on the living it is just unappreciated by them, life is never wasted it is just a very deep pool that some people forget not to piss in

pharmaton

kerry4sam wrote: »

You know this reminds me of the countless times I'd be out for a drive with my Dad, never really mattered where we went, just the chats & laughs we'd always have.
Anywhoo, the countless times I'd turn & ask Dad "How come so many people just look so angry; serious and seldom seem to be smiling or laughing" when out in their cars. I just could NEVER figure it out. I always felt happy, secure, safe, and content at very least. Could never figure out why others never seemed to be the same.

Then my Late Loving Dad passed away on December 20th last, and I just don't know when last I was out for a drive with anyone and felt the way I did when out driving around with Dad.
What I want from my Life: To re-gain some happiness, genuine happiness; someone who cares for & loves me like Dad did - I don't have that & have not had that since Dad passed away ; a feeling of safety and security; be healthy...
That's my lot right now.
That too much to ask?
kerry4sam

Sorry for your loss k4s, I hope things get better and you find all those things soon, your security and safety and your health.

Sofiztikated

I want to get a new job.
I want a new career.
I can't go back to college, because I can't afford to not be working.
Even if I could, I don't know what I want to do.

I'm fed ****ing up with living month to month. I never have any/much spare cash to do anything.

I want a happy & healthy family.

If I can sort out the first part, second and third parts can follow.

Miss Lizzie Jones

Cheese. I just want cheese. :cool:

Fizzlesque

Fiery mutant wrote: »

I want my children to grow up to be happy and the best that they can be. Watching them smile is enough to make my day perfect.

I love your reply - it makes me sad for all the years of smiles I missed out on with my daughter because she didn't grow up with me (I placed her with an adopted family) but reminds me to focus on the fact that I did get to see her smiling in lots of photographs and, unlike a lot of birthmothers, I have the comfort of knowing where she is and how she's doing.

Chunners wrote: »

Aww thanks , the OP's problem is they are thinking in BIG instead of thinking in small

Haha, thanks for the drive-through diagnosis . The OP's problem is she drank an entire bottle of wine last night (celebrating my first week in a new job after 5 months of unemployment) and couldn't talk herself out of starting a new thread to ask others if they know what they want from their life. Trust me, I know all about finding joy in the small stuff while waiting for the big stuff to be ready for its time in the limelight.

policarp wrote: »

Your'e brave coming here.
Maybe after about three
pages you might get an
answer that helps. . .

I'm not looking for an answer that helps, no-one, as Chunners said, has the answer for anyone else - I'm simply curious to hear how other people approach their life; with a clear and definite plan or half a step behind it as it unfurls in front of them. Sometimes when I'm on a busy early morning bus, heading to work, I find myself full of curiosity about my fellow travelers' head space and would love to ask them are they just going through the motions or are they executing a well-thought out plan or are they simply rolling with the punches and finding joy wherever it will allow itself to be found. Or, none of the above. So many people, so many different lives; so many questions I'd love to ask.

Mister Vain

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

I'll tell you what I want, man. 2 chicks at the same time, man.

I thought you with your chiseled good looks and 8% body fat would have achieved that already.

Frosty McSnowballs

Ultimately at the end of it all I would like to think that the people closest to me, were proud of me, for whatever reason, and that I mattered.

I'm 33, haven't achieved much so far. The things I have achieved are not tangible. In the last year I have been slowly rediscovering things that I want to do or be good at. These are things I have always wanted but were pushed aside for one reason or another. That is changing.

I'd like the people I love and cherish to be around long enough to see the best of me and I want to give them as much of me as possible. I want to be able to let them know that I am proud of them and that they matter a lot to me.

So I suppose all I want out of life is to be good at whatever I do, healthy, happy, genuinely loved by someone and to have no regrets at the end of it. Easier said than done.

Fizzlesque

PizzamanIRL wrote: »

I suppose this post from reddit's Today I ****ed Up kind of belongs here

TIFU my whole life. My regrets as a 46 year old, and advice to others at a crossroad

Yikes, compared to his 46 years on the planet, I feel like I've made great use of my own 46 years. As I said in my opening post, in the last few years I've begun to wonder if there's a lot to be said for not knowing what you want to do with your life and just letting it lead you instead of you trying to lead it; if you aren't one of those people who knows from a young age what you want to do or where you want to get to.

I've changed a lot in the last two years, changed for the better. There are a few key things I've been trying to deal with/alter for the best part of fifteen years and had reached a point of feeling like I was never going to break free, but, thankfully, my perseverance paid off and finally the fog began to lift. I'm not out of the woods yet but I'm not thrashing about quite as desperately as I once was.

I find it helpful to hear other people's stories. Gives me a healthier perspective and makes me realise I'm not doing too badly, all things considered. And that, in turn, helps me to make better choices for my future. It's good to talk