Short story feedback.

i scannedover it to see how long it was before i read it and all i seen were the words BREAST and JOB .....together....

excellent story!!!!!

its ok lads i copied it i knew this was coming hahahaha

FUTURE CHAVS IN SPACE OR BE THE ENEMY.


A blonde, inscrutable nymphet climbed up the drain pipe of a Kensington house. Her chains were jingling. She was only able to ascend by being so tiny, at barely five feet tall she was also very small boned. Brilliant, arboreal, locomotion was a characteristic of creatures who lived in jungles she decided, so it must be her birthright. She smiled with stone eyes and determination. Her eyes were sunken and deep set, they looked like beauty caused by an iron deficiency, it wasn’t. She was full of iron, full of iron will and silver. Even her eyebrows were blonde, white blonde you could hardly see them against ultra pale skin. She was wearing pink hot pants so if anyone was down below they were getting an eyeful. She was sporting a platinum blonde mullet undercut with the back part of her mane grown down to her tail bone. The front shaved into the tightest Betty Paige bangs. It gave the impression of a high half pony tail even when it was loose. It was a bleached sculpture. She was speaking; actually she was squeaking swear words. But since she always had a high pitched chirp let’s say she was ‘spqweeking’, it was a machine gun hamster tone. ‘**** all you mother****ers’ she was pissed off pink. She danced up that drain pipe like it was easy because it was to her. She ended it with an upside down stripper pole spin, you get the idea. She pulled herself onto the balcony and slowly stood up slowly unfurling her backbone like a cat arching. She probably should have worn something warmer than a loose cami top, you could see her spine, and from certain angles at the front you could see her sports bra. The sky was a neon pink, neo pink, avant garde pink it was basically the pinkness left over after the sky was done being pink. It was post apocalyptic blood pink. It really popped. She stood and raised up her hands to the sky, she was wearing one white wrist band ‘applause for cute little evil me’ she sqwoked in that tiny voice again, the sky clapped thunder. She jumped and limply slapped her hand to her breast bone ‘Oh sweet Mary and baby Jesus’. She winked back up at the sky and kissed her teeth at it. The atmosphere fancied her like crazy. Her eyes had a quality hard to place. She was either dead inside or so flaming alive it was supernatural. They were trafficked eyes that burnt through you. Planet earth is only in one galaxy, so she couldn’t have been intergalactic, but she was galactic. Her eyes had a cold white heat; she was an electric snow queen, only she had a rabbit heart. She stood outside the bedroom window of preppy, middle age, rich masculinity. She squatted and ground her hips; her innominate powers commanded a base drum beat. She was trash, she was power trash. Adonia Aphrodite, she made everything look easy because it was to her. Power trash was on the top of the food chain if she wanted it to be. It was beyond the sun,alien, weird and intergalactic. She was about to complete a biological transaction. She was about to visit a curse on a very rich, sleazy, middle aged,man.

credit: by Lalealea, because he wrote it


told yas lads hahahah, ishall release a paragraph every 5 minutes until my demands are met!!!!!!

i only have one!!!

taco chips.........

i only have one!!!

taco chips.........

hahaha you didnt ACTUALLY think i had copied it?? you had said you wanted to put it in creative writing so i waited......i think this is the cleverest and most sleaveen thing i have ever done!

Lalealea wrote: »

And I gave you a NIPPLE.

ah feck that im not reading it, pics or GTFO:cool: