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Letting your OH sleep about in order to retain your 'relationship'

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Comments

  • #62
    we'llallhavetea
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,031 ✭✭✭we'llallhavetea


    taxAHcruel needs his own thread, fascinating!


  • #63
    Generic Dreadhead
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,870 ✭✭✭✭Generic Dreadhead


    we'llallhavetea wrote: »
    taxAHcruel needs his own thread, fascinating!

    Seconded, and Ask Me Anything thread!


  • #64
    foggy_lad
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,373 ✭✭✭✭foggy_lad


    SkyBlueClouds wrote: »
    Ladies, or gentlemen, would you ever let this happen in your marriage/relationship?

    Could insecurity ever drive you to this point - would you allow the other half to sleep about just to hold onto them?




    The above article isn't a representative sample of normal relationships (one hopes). It does beg the question though, we all have the one we never want to get away. Would you put up with such extreme measures?

    I'd get him good and tired and arrange to have photos taken of him in a mad orgy with herself and another man and several large sex toys(one labled "the Beast") while he slept and tell him if he ever strayed the photos would be seen all over the world!


  • #65
    Celly Smunt
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,463 ✭✭✭Celly Smunt


    Not a ****ing hope.I'd break her and his legs if i even got a hint of another man near my girlfriend/wife.

    Men who allow this seem to me to be weak minded and broken with a smile. How anybody could say they're completely happy with another guy having a go at their partner is talking out of their arse or is with the wrong person.


  • #66
    lukesmom
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,401 ✭✭✭lukesmom


    Not a hope in hell.


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  • #67
    evo2000
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,728 ✭✭✭evo2000


    Celly Smunt wrote: »
    Not a ****ing hope.I'd break her and his legs if i even got a hint of another man near my girlfriend/wife.

    Men who allow this seem to me to be weak minded and broken with a smile. How anybody could say they're completely happy with another guy having a go at their partner is talking out of their arse or is with the wrong person.

    Men who put hands on a woman are weak minded,


  • #68
    Micky Dolenz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 44,079 ✭✭✭✭Micky Dolenz


    Celly Smunt wrote: »
    Not a ****ing hope.I'd break her and his legs if i even got a hint of another man near my girlfriend/wife.

    Men who allow this seem to me to be weak minded and broken with a smile. How anybody could say they're completely happy with another guy having a go at their partner is talking out of their arse or is with the wrong person.

    Listen to yourself. It's like calling a person a fcuking eejit for not believing the crap you believe.

    Horses for courses and all that jazz. If something doesn't work for you don't berate the people that it does work for.


  • #69
    Celly Smunt
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,463 ✭✭✭Celly Smunt


    evo2000 wrote: »
    Men who put hands on a woman are weak minded,

    alri sound.


  • #70
    Celly Smunt
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,463 ✭✭✭Celly Smunt


    Micky Dolenz wrote: »
    Listen to yourself. It's like calling a person a fcuking eejit for not believing the crap you believe.

    Horses for courses and all that jazz. If something doesn't work for you don't berate the people that it does work for.
    Thats my impression,in this context, men saying they want their partner to sleep arounf is absolute ****e.Weak.


  • #71
    Novella
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,713 ✭✭✭✭Novella


    I think 'rules' within a relationship are whatever the people involved make them. If a woman is happy for her husband to sleep with other men or vice versa, I don't see an issue with it. It may even be a turn on for some people and something they enjoy together. If it's done safely, as far as I'm concerned, that's great.

    I don't think it's a healthy relationship if one partner feels that he/she must allow the other to sleep around and isn't comfortable with it.


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  • #72
    evo2000
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,728 ✭✭✭evo2000


    Celly Smunt wrote: »
    Thats my impression,in this context, men saying they want their partner to sleep arounf is absolute ****e.Weak.

    I wouldnt even entertain the idea of it myself, but at the same time i wouldnt insult someone because there ideals dont match up with mine, what other people do is no concern of mine so there is no reason to insult someone for a difference of opinion.


  • #73
    Calibos
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 7,889 ✭✭✭Calibos


    I'd imagine the psychology behind it is constant validation from others that your partner is still very sexually desireable, a catch and yet still 'yours'. For others the ring on the finger and exclusivity is enough of a validation.


  • #74
    Mr. Incognito
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,798 ✭✭✭Mr. Incognito


    You are a braver man than I- One missus nagging is more than enough- couldn't imagine two of them at the same time


  • #75
    worded
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,885 ✭✭✭worded


    If you take her from behind, it's not being unfaithful Ive heard.


  • #76
    Micky Dolenz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 44,079 ✭✭✭✭Micky Dolenz


    Celly Smunt wrote: »
    Thats my impression,in this context, men saying they want their partner to sleep arounf is absolute ****e.Weak.

    No. What you mean is, you'd feel weak if your missus wanted to dô it That's fair enough.

    But don't even be so foolish to think that some/ a lot of people know and feel the differance between lust and love. Personally, I wouldn't knock anyones life style that including all consenting adults.


  • #77
    UCDVet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,894 ✭✭✭UCDVet


    I'm always amazed at people's inability to imagine that there could exist other people who feel differently about things than they do.

    Is it really *that* hard to imagine?


  • #78
    ALiasEX
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 535 ✭✭✭ALiasEX


    Deleted User wrote: »
    I am actually interested in letting my partners explore some sex with other people as it happens. But I do it for a variety of reasons. Personally I am into the idea - I am also keen to have them explore sex a little more than just with me - as I met them relatively young and they had little to no experience.
    I read that as

    I am actually interested in letting my parents explore some sex with other people as it happens. But I do it for a variety of reasons. Personally I am into the idea - I am also keen to have them explore sex a little more than just with me - as I met them relatively young and they had little to no experience.


  • #79
    YFlyer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,712 ✭✭✭YFlyer


    bear1 wrote: »
    Only if she enjoys the other lads c0ck more than yours then yeah I'd say it's cheating :p

    That reminds me of a friend that I went to college with at CoACT Limerick years ago.

    He meet his ex and her new boyfriend on the way to town. She mentioned that she would like a threesome. My friend said yes. She then declined. Bet she thought my friend was going to say no as there be 2 guys :D


  • #80
    FloatingVoter
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,133 ✭✭✭FloatingVoter


    YFlyer wrote: »
    That reminds me of a friend that I went to college with at CoACT Limerick years ago.

    He meet his ex and her new boyfriend on the way to town. She mentioned that she would like a threesome. My friend said yes. She then declined. Bet she thought my friend was going to say no as there be 2 guys :D

    ..this wasn't early 90s and her name Janice by any chance ?


  • #81
    YFlyer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,712 ✭✭✭YFlyer


    FloatingVoter wrote: »
    ..this wasn't early 90s and her name Janice by any chance ?

    Yeah early 90s alright. Can't think of her name. She was in the Art college. His Paul Hennessy.

    Was Janice studying construction studies and friend of the girl that entered Miss Ireland?


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  • #82
    Cupcake_Crisis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 21,448 ✭✭✭✭Cupcake_Crisis


    Celly Smunt wrote: »
    Not a ****ing hope.I'd break her and his legs if i even got a hint of another man near my girlfriend/wife.

    Men who allow this seem to me to be weak minded and broken with a smile. How anybody could say they're completely happy with another guy having a go at their partner is talking out of their arse or is with the wrong person.

    Would you really though.....c'mon now!

    Ah taxAHcruel has already (very eloquently and interestingly) pointed out, the rules of a relationship can only be defined by those in it, how ever many they my be and as long as everyone is informed and happy then who is anyone to say they're wrong?. What works for me may not work for you and vice versa, and that's grand, it takes all sorts to make a picnic!


  • #83
    YFlyer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,712 ✭✭✭YFlyer


    I be extremely thrill with six.


  • #84
    Tail Docker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,954 ✭✭✭Tail Docker


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Nope - not me.

    I am actually interested in letting my partners explore some sex with other people as it happens. But I do it for a variety of reasons. Personally I am into the idea - I am also keen to have them explore sex a little more than just with me - as I met them relatively young and they had little to no experience.

    But all the reasons I have are because I want it that way. Though they have not taken up the offer yet - nor have I sought out people to fulfil it or asked around all that much.

    But the idea of allowing it - when I do NOT want to do it - simply to maintain a dying relationship - is the complete opposite of that and is not something I am interested in at all. That would not be part of my relationship or conducive to it - but a release of parts of it for the sake of holding onto the illusion of other parts of it. Not for me at all.

    How many do you have?


  • #85
    Raminahobbin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,983 ✭✭✭Raminahobbin


    Tail Docker wrote: »
    How many do you have?

    Did you not read the thread?


  • #86
    Tail Docker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,954 ✭✭✭Tail Docker


    Raminahobbin wrote: »
    Did you not read the thread?

    No. Do people read this stuff?? :eek:


  • #87
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 7,344 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Colser wrote: »
    taxAHcruel...Is there any jealously between you partners? Thats the bit that I would find most difficult.

    No there isn't. I guess there are two kinds of relationship like this.

    ONE where the two women were "sharing" the guy. People have that relationship type without jealousy but I can see why the jealousy potential would be higher than:

    TWO a relationship where those women are romantically and sexually involved with each other _also_. And while this does not negate the potential for jealousy - I have a strong feeling that it reduces it starkly.

    I am in the latter type.
    Colser wrote: »
    I have to admire them if they dont feel like they are competing with each other all the time as I feel a lot of women would feel under pressure in that situation.

    I admire them greatly too for a number of reasons - but our relationship environment is not one where competition is there at all. So thankfully they simply do not feel there is anything to compete _about_ so the feelings never arise.

    We do capoeira and BJJ and stuff like that together. That is about as competitive as we get. We are constantly trying to outdo each other - but in truth we are usually around the same level. It does keep us on our toes and motivated and constantly improving though :)
    we'llallhavetea wrote: »
    taxAHcruel needs his own thread, fascinating!

    I rather fear (and apologise to anyone that is bothered by it) that I have somewhat hijacked _this one_ now. I did make one post trying to put it back on topic but it died anyway. So I guess I do not feel _too_ bad about hijacking a thread that ended up going nowhere. Still - apologies to the OP if it does seem like a hijack. Was not intentional :)
    Cormac... wrote: »
    Seconded, and Ask Me Anything thread!

    We have those? I can think of a few users I would like to see in there :) Sign me up :)
    Tail Docker wrote: »
    How many do you have?

    Two.
    Celly Smunt wrote: »
    Men who allow this seem to me to be weak minded and broken with a smile. How anybody could say they're completely happy with another guy having a go at their partner is talking out of their arse or is with the wrong person.

    Not so at all. Many people are turned on by it. Many people do not see fidelity as being the defining attribute of their relationship. While many people see it as an even STRONGER level of control that they are so confident in their partners dedication to the relationship that they can let such activities occur safe in the knowledge the partner will come back.

    For me letting the girls try it once or twice - would be everything from a turn on - to me simply not wanting them to have sexual experience 95% from me in their entire life - to an expression of my and their dedication to our relationship and each other. It is everything from a sexual turn on, to a statement. Nothing even remotely like you describe.

    You talk of a "weak mind" however and yet your described reaction to it is one of wanton violence. And violence really is the last resort of a weak mind. It may be worth engaging in more introspection on this. Commenting on the state of the house of another while not cleaning your own, as they say.
    Celly Smunt wrote: »
    Thats my impression,in this context, men saying they want their partner to sleep arounf is absolute ****e.Weak.

    Except it is not. As I said a few times I am considering it too. I find the idea a turn on for one - and I have a few other motivations too. Nothing weak about it. I am doing it for me as much as for them.

    What would be "weak" is involving yourself in a relationship that compromises who YOU are. Or consenting to live by conditions in a relationship that go against YOU. The woman in the OP sounds like this.

    You want 100% fidelity and exclusivity in your relationship. Great. That is you. Others define their relationships differently. That does not make them weak. Or you weak. What would be "weak" would be for you - or them - to allow themselves to be cajoled into conforming to the relationship type of the other merely because you or they called each other names like "weak".


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