Women asking Men to get married

Barely There · 03-10-2014 02:44PM #1

I was interested in the various views in another thread regarding asking for your fiancée’s father's permission/blessing before popping the question.

What struck me most, was not the different views on the matter, but the fact that it was almost uniformly the man who asked the woman to get married.

Given the advances in equality between the sexes in this Country over the last few decades, it strikes me as strange that this seemingly hasn't changed.

So, if you're a guy, would you be shocked if your girlfriend popped the question?
If you're a girl, is it something you'd consider doing or would you feel weird about it?

For me personally, I don't think it's strange at all - my girlfriend(now wife) asked me.

osarusan · 03-10-2014 02:48PM

My wife bullied me into asking.

Thankfully.

Shenshen · 03-10-2014 02:50PM

I asked him, so I wouldn't consider it all that strange, really.

uch · 03-10-2014 02:50PM

My Missus asked me 20 years ago, I left her waiting for a response for 6 years.

TheDoctor · 03-10-2014 02:52PM

Do men still ask the father of their girlfriend for their blessing before asking the question?

Shenshen · 03-10-2014 02:53PM

TheDoctor wrote: »

Do men still ask the father of their girlfriend for their blessing before asking the question?

You haven't seen the thread that's been bouncing around AH for the last few days, then?

Apparently, some do.

fleet_admiral · 03-10-2014 02:53PM

Its tradition on the 29th of February

uch · 03-10-2014 02:54PM

I asked my Father in Law for a few Quid for taking her off his hands

Shenshen · 03-10-2014 07:51PM

fleet_admiral wrote: »

Its tradition on the 29th of February

Yes, though I only heard about that after coming to Ireland.

looking_around · 03-10-2014 07:59PM

thread needs poll :P

yeah, I plan to propose, I think. Mostly because there's alot of advantages legally/tax wise to being married, that you dont get for living together. And if I'm going to be with him for all the years to come..why not?

I'm not into the whole white dress and wedding rings though,

TheBeardedLady · 03-10-2014 09:17PM

osarusan wrote: »

My wife bullied me into asking.

Thankfully.

Genuine questions: do you think that's how it goes most of the time? Do people think it's mostly the woman's decision and they kinda coerce the man into it or is it mostly the man's?

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1 · 03-10-2014 09:23PM

My mother told me to get married.

Defender OF Faith · 03-10-2014 09:24PM

I dont think feminist would like the Idea of kneeling down in front of a man

A Dub in Glasgo · 03-10-2014 10:16PM

My wife asked me on 29th Feb 1996, I said yes!

eviltwin · 03-10-2014 10:17PM

We just mutually decided, no one was asked at all.

TheBeardedLady · 03-10-2014 10:18PM

eviltwin wrote: »

We just mutually decided, no one was asked at all.

How would you both feel if I asked you to marry me?

The One Doctor · 03-10-2014 10:19PM

TheDoctor wrote: »

Do men still ask the father of their girlfriend for their blessing before asking the question?

I did. Haven't popped the question yet though. I told my girlfriend that I asked for permission though.

eviltwin · 03-10-2014 10:19PM

TheBeardedLady wrote: »

How would you both feel if I asked you to marry me?

There is always room for one more my dear

osarusan · 03-10-2014 10:21PM

TheBeardedLady wrote: »

Genuine questions: do you think that's how it goes most of the time? Do people think it's mostly the woman's decision and they kinda coerce the man into it or is it mostly the man's?

I have no idea. I haven't ever discussed it with anybody else.

"You're getting married? Fantastic, congratulations. (Confidential whisper) she bullied you into it, right?"

03-10-2014 10:21PM

Defender OF Faith wrote: »

I dont think feminist would like the Idea of kneeling down in front of a man

Ah you're back!

Shakespeare's Sister · 03-10-2014 10:52PM

eviltwin wrote: »

We just mutually decided, no one was asked at all.

That's what I view as the ideal from the more practical perspective, when both know it's on the cards. Although the idea of an out-of-the blue proposal is lovely.

Women who are waiting for him to propose (thought it was supposed to be unexpected?) or "dropping hints" - instead of just saying it themselves... genuinely baffle me.

03-10-2014 10:55PM

Not tied up at the moment so all i can say is ladies id be flattered to be asked

Make sure to send a pic and at least 500 words in the PM as to why you'd make the perfect dinner...er sorry i mean the perfect soul mate for me :pac:

AnLonDubh · 03-10-2014 11:45PM

I think the woman should be respectful and ask the man's mother for permission first.

alwaysadub · 04-10-2014 12:09AM

I proposed to him, but we had discussed getting married before that so i knew he'd say yes!

TheBeardedLady · 04-10-2014 12:49AM

osarusan wrote: »

I have no idea. I haven't ever discussed it with anybody else.

"You're getting married? Fantastic, congratulations. (Confidential whisper) she bullied you into it, right?"

Question wasn't specifically for you and didn't mean it in any smart arsy way (if that's how you took it up). Just wondered whether it was something men would generally do of their own accord or would it normally take a bit of persuasion from women. I know the wedding day itself is generally a female thing but wondered about the marriage part. I suppose it depends on the couple.

TheBeardedLady · 04-10-2014 12:51AM

Candie wrote: »

Ah you're back!

Oh and wasn't he missed!

Lapin · 04-10-2014 01:09AM

I'm gonna be out of sight all day on the 29'th of February 2016 and 2020.

Just in case she gets notions like.

leftwinger · 04-10-2014 01:21AM

Glad that my missus asked me when she did in 1991 after a short enough (by Irish standards ...about 18 months) period of "going out".

Shenshen · 04-10-2014 10:37AM

TheBeardedLady wrote: »

Question wasn't specifically for you and didn't mean it in any smart arsy way (if that's how you took it up). Just wondered whether it was something men would generally do of their own accord or would it normally take a bit of persuasion from women. I know the wedding day itself is generally a female thing but wondered about the marriage part. I suppose it depends on the couple.

That's sort of what my husband expected somehow - I always felt it should be about BOTH of us, so made him be involved. Well, as much as possible, he can be stubborn baxtard.

osarusan · 04-10-2014 10:51AM

TheBeardedLady wrote: »

Question wasn't specifically for you and didn't mean it in any smart arsy way (if that's how you took it up). Just wondered whether it was something men would generally do of their own accord or would it normally take a bit of persuasion from women. I know the wedding day itself is generally a female thing but wondered about the marriage part. I suppose it depends on the couple.

no, I didn't take it in a smart arsy way either.

I think that if one partner has come to the conclusion that they want to spend the rest of their life with their partner, but their partner hasn't yet reached that point, there's going to be some awkward discussions, I'd imagine.

The partner who's made their mind up probably can't help but be a little confused about why their partner doesn't feel the same way, and it can't be a nice thing to be thinking about. Likewise, the other partner must feel some pressure to decide it's what they want, which isn't fair on them either.

I'm not sure that one sex is more likely to 'bully' the other into marriage than the other way round, but maybe females are more likely to consider marriage earlier in a relationship than males (in general)?

DLMA23 · 04-10-2014 04:46PM

My OH asked me 7 years ago & I said no

Don't feel the need to marry now or ever, still with my partner, love her to bits & always will, but marriage...no, not for me :eek:

PS we are with each other 14 years now

Women asking Men to get married

Comments