Be honest. Is "mail order bride" one of your reactions?

TheBeardedLady wrote: »

Single women in their 40s from what I gather.

Nope again, some single women, in particular I specified "The women who made comments", which is clearly not all women, merely those who commented, but please don't let that and me get in the way of a rant.

Fact of the matter is, my standards when I was a hot young 20 year old were:

A man who likes me back. And who calls me. And acknowledges my existence.


My standards at 34 and a half having lived my life, having been in a few long-termers and having a bit more self-respect, more life experience and more going for me in terms of personality/**** to talk about are more extensive. I won't settle if I'm single again.

Well since you're not in the demographic of "all single women in their 40's" that you seem to think I reduced to a stereotype, I don't see where you're getting so het up.

And since you're bringing in my off thread stuff, I'll look at your on thread list/admissions of your past choices and suggest that you were hardly brilliant at picking men. A list of dickheads it seems and even an average bloke of no great shakes would be a major step up. Why didn't you pick one of them at 25? I'm quite sure they were around, maybe even asked you out. As I have said myself about my own picks it says far more about the failings in the picker than the failings of the picked, or indeed of whichever gender we're discussing or ages thereof.

I can imagine yours differ now to when you were 20. Your comments using metaphors of cars wasn't nice no matter what way you dress it up.

Maybe dial back the sensitivity? It was an illustration simple as. As I said you're not in the demographic, I didn't say all women of 40 plus, so why are you overreacting?

You're a man knocking on the door of 50 and I've seen you talk about your standards now in a woman and how you're a lot less tolerant of **** and how you'd rather remain single than get involved. You've talked about how you've dated neurotic loonies who I'm assuming were good-looking and young. They didn't work out, so you know your previous comment was rubbish. Looks make up for that to a degree but not in the long run.

You do realise you can have good looking, young(er) and indeed older and not neurotic?

I looked "better" at 25 years old than I do now but I'd rather spend day in, day out with me at 34 and I've no doubt I'll be a more interesting, whole person at 40 then the insecure girl I was at 20. In terms of the whole package, I'd say I'm fairly Ferrari now compared to back then and I say that in all seriousness.

Which is fine and good luck to you, however not all women are insecure at 20 or 25, or indeed secure at 35 or 45. Not even close. If I'm apparently dissing on "older women", it does seem some "claws" can be out for younger women and in a roundabout way you're doing just that. I've met women(and men) of 25 who were together and cool individuals and I've met women and men at 40 who were a neurotic mess, just better at hiding it.

Women don't DEMAND anything off men.

You are having a laugh with that one. You might not, but don't make the rookie mistake of extending from the personal to a universal truth. Yes some most certainly do demand and are demanding. It's almost a meme and ask any bloke who has dated in his 30's or 40's and I guarantee he's met at least one, if not more.

It's their choice to be with that woman or not but I don't see why they should settle, particularly after having waded through so much bollocks in their 20s and 30s.

I don't see why they should settle either, though quite a number do seem to have an unseemly rush to nest in suburbia in their mid 30's(not just women, but definitely more than men of that age).

Pity you had to reduce it to looks though and label women by car names based on solely their appearance. Shallow to say the least.

Again reading what you want to read. Looks are but a part of it. Again there are women and men of 25 going on 50 in looks and men and women of 40 who are better looking. Take another angle, if a bloke wants to start a family, who is he going to pick, a woman of 30 or one of 40? That's biology I'm afraid and that biology is less an issue for men, they've about ten years plus on average to work with and with outlier and exceptional men that can run out to 20 years extra to work with.

Still youth has more options, simple as that. I had way more options at 35 than I would today, though I'd still have generally more options than a woman my age. Nature of the beast. Forget me, ask any attractive and accomplished woman of 40 how here experiences of dating are and then ask the same of an attractive and accomplished man of 40. It's usually chalk and cheese. Obviously we're dealing in generalities here, but that's the nature of objective debate. We can go the subjective route, but it rarely gives up much in the way of general insight.

Edit: The token dig at jealous men doesn't make up for it - you took the claws out for the older women only.

Nope, IMHO all you're proving now is I flicked at a personal nerve and you're not the only one.

IMH you saw red, shot your arrow wildly off beam and are now reduced to painting a target around where it came to fall.

lufties wrote: »

I've 3 first dates lined up for this week, and I've little interest in any of them in all honesty, alarm bells going off early there, but shur its better than being at home staring at the four walls lol.

No offense man, but why da fuq are you going on the dates if beforehand you're seeing more red flags than Chairman Mao's birthday party? Doesn't make sense to me *raises Spock like eyebrow*. Surely it would be better to seek out non headbangers? There are enough about like. While I certainly ended up with a few headbangers in my time(and they with me so it evens out...) I didn't think headbanger before a date, that stuff came way down the line. And there are three of them? Jeeebus.