I need feminism because...

GarIT · 27-09-2014 08:03PM

Lyaiera wrote: »

Because this thread is further evidence of why I need feminism.

Edit: And by that I mean the casual way guys in here are reducing women to "things to be ****ed."

Are you sure its not that clubs are a place to go to find people to have sex with?

paddy1990 · 27-09-2014 08:08PM

Ice Storm wrote: »

I think you are missing the point that it was disrespectful to women and if many men would have "absolutely no issue" with this, then that makes it all the more depressing.

This is going WAY OTT on this issue in my opinion but we can agree to disagree.

paddy1990 · 27-09-2014 08:09PM

Tigger99 wrote: »

Thankfully most men I know wouldn't say that paddy.

I think you might be surprised.

paddy1990 · 27-09-2014 08:10PM

Lyaiera wrote: »

Because this thread is further evidence of why I need feminism.

Edit: And by that I mean the casual way guys in here are reducing women to "things to be ****ed."

Second edit: And the attitude that clubs are for finding "potential mates." (*gawk*) I was there as part of a class party to have fun with my class mates, have a few drinks, and dance. And I presume so were many other people, my group were certainly there for that reason.

I'm afraid that clubs are a place that the majority of people go to with at least some hope of finding someone romantically/sexually.

Rosy Posy · 27-09-2014 08:21PM

paddy1990 wrote: »

I think you might be surprised.

I need feminism because reducing women to their sexual parts is apparently only the tip of the iceberg as far as misogynistic discourse goes in some male circles. Also the implication that if it's between the boys it's ok- you don't need to be a woman to be offended by sexism.

Ice Storm · 27-09-2014 08:24PM

paddy1990 wrote: »

This is going WAY OTT on this issue in my opinion but we can agree to disagree.

You're posting in a thread entitled "I need feminism because..."

What did you expect?

paddy1990 · 27-09-2014 08:26PM

Rosy Posy wrote: »

I need feminism because reducing women to their sexual parts is apparently only the tip of the iceberg as far as misogynistic discourse goes in some male circles. Also the implication that if it's between the boys it's ok- you don't need to be a woman to be offended by sexism.

Or maybe it's just normal casual conversation for a lot of people. Why do people have to conform to your way of looking at the world. Having lived with 4 girls in a student house for 6 months, I am have seen countless occasions of women "objectifying" men when they thought other men weren't around - actually it was just a normal conversation between friends.

Perhaps this "i need feminism because" is going a bit too far in this case?

Lyaiera · 27-09-2014 08:28PM

Do you think that's professional behaviour from a representative of the club?

GarIT · 27-09-2014 08:29PM

If there were no women that didn't see men as "things just to have sex with" apps like tinder wouldn't be so successful.

Personally I don't see women as things just to have sex with, women are equal as far as I'm concerned but when I go to a club it is to get sex, I have no interest in men at all at a club and yes the only interest I have in the women is sex, that doesn't mean I am treating them as any less than anyone else. And if my attitude to women is wrong how bad must my attitude towards men bed, in a club at least I pay attention to women, men are useful for nothing (in that particular setting).

paddy1990 · 27-09-2014 08:31PM

Lyaiera wrote: »

Do you think that's professional behaviour from a representative of the club?

Your mistake is not understanding the general mentality of men who frequent the club. This guy talks to men all night and has probably done so for many weekends, for years. You show a real lack of understanding of his mindset and just assume he is a "prick". Why not try to understand that this guy deals with men for a living and knows what the majority of men who come to that place are coming for? Is it too much for you to ask to try to see it from his perspective?

His main error was mistaking you for a man. But you said you have absolutely no problem with this.

Annasopra · 27-09-2014 08:31PM

paddy1990 wrote: »

Perhaps this "i need feminism because" is going a bit too far in this case?

No not at all. Reducing a person to their genitals is rude, sexist and unprofessional

GarIT · 27-09-2014 08:32PM

Can I ask what is wrong with only being interested in someone for sex? Is it any different to only being interested in someone as a friend? Why is it that sex is something bad to want from somebody else?

Annasopra · 27-09-2014 08:33PM

paddy1990 wrote: »

Your mistake is not understanding the general mentality of men who frequent the club. This guy talks to men all night and has probably done so for many weekends, for years. You show a real lack of understanding of his mindset and just assume he is a "prick". Why not try to understand that this guy deals with men for a living and knows what the majority of men who come to that place are coming for? Is it too much for you to ask to try to see it from his perspective?

His main error was mistaking you for a man. But you said you have absolutely no problem with this.

What is his perspective exactly? Reducing women to genitals? FFS what a disgusting mysoginist perspective.

GarIT · 27-09-2014 08:35PM

Joeytheparrot wrote: »

What is his perspective exactly? Reducing women to genitals? FFS what a disgusting mysoginist perspective.

Is it really women in general though? When I go out it is just for sex, it just happens that women are the only people I like to have sex with. During the day, not in a club and without alcohol it is a completely different scenario.

Lyaiera · 27-09-2014 08:36PM

Also presuming that the only reason people come to his club is to find sex is ****ing ridiculous and speaks very lowly of his attitude towards his customers and his employers.

paddy1990 · 27-09-2014 08:39PM

Lyaiera wrote: »

Also presuming that the only reason people come to his club is to find sex is ****ing ridiculous and speaks very lowly of his attitude towards his customers and his employers.

What percentage of men go out to nightclubs looking for sex vs not looking for sex, in your opinion?

Sauve · 27-09-2014 08:41PM

paddy1990 and GarIT,

Please remember where you are posting and take a look at the title of the thread. Posters here should not have to defend their right to feminism or defend themselves.

Lyaiera · 27-09-2014 08:50PM

"Oh no. My sexist opinions are not seen as valuable."

iwantmydinner · 27-09-2014 10:20PM

Fantastic night out at a gig with my best man friend.

He's buying drinks at the bar, I've found precious seats.

Lad comes up and puts his unwelcome arm around my unavailable waist.

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"Yes."

"Where is he? He shouldn't have left you alone"

*IWMD pretends friend is boyfriend*

"He's right there"

"He shouldn't have left you alone"

*IWMD's friend happens to turn around*

*runs*

No question of finding out if I'm interested in him. Only in finding out if I "belong" to another man. Rage, rage, rage.

BonsaiKitten · 27-09-2014 10:47PM

@IWMD:Yup that really gets on my nerves. It's funny, whenever anyone gets drink on them all manners go out the window.

Lyaiera wrote: »

Also presuming that the only reason people come to his club is to find sex is ****ing ridiculous and speaks very lowly of his attitude towards his customers and his employers.

No, it's a realistic presumption imo.
Sure, some people go to clubs to dance with friends. Some go to dance with friends and maybe pull a person or two. Some go just to pull...I'm sure we've all seen the guys hanging round the edge of the dancefloor groping any girl going.
I dunno if women do anything like that too, I dunno, I'm a woman so I wouldn't be their target

But imo, many people (note I said MANY, not all, not everyone) go with a plan to pull.

So I think the bouncer was honest. They know the typical crowd who come to the club damn well, they have an idea of the average punter. In my experience with bouncers, they're pretty abrupt and don't take ****. And I wouldn't blame em either. You give a pile of drunks an inch and they'll take a mile.

So, does that attitude offend me? Not in the slightest.

meeeeh · 27-09-2014 10:55PM

Well if you go somewhere that plays Galway girl six times per night I seriously hope you are there for sex. If it was some proper dance club with house or whatever dance music is popular now then those remarks were completely out of order. If it was the standard full of dtunken idiots night club then they were crude but realistic.

Lyaiera · 27-09-2014 11:03PM

He obviously didn't know his crowd if he's offending people coming in.

BonsaiKitten · 27-09-2014 11:08PM

Lyaiera wrote: »

He obviously didn't know his crowd if he's offending people coming in.

Perhaps he didn't offend everyone coming in. Did you poll the whole club on it? You can't keep everyone happy. Particularly not in that job...drunk people can be difficult and will row with the bouncer. Not saying you did but I think bouncers must have to grow a pretty thick skin and get pretty abrupt in their job. And I don't blame them for it!

Clubs are meat markets. Now, that can change if you go to a more music oriented place as opposed to the coppers style clubs, but even then it's there imo.

constance tench · 27-09-2014 11:37PM

Joeytheparrot wrote: »

No not at all. Reducing a person to their genitals is rude, sexist and unprofessional

Lyaiera wrote: »

Because I was going into a club the other night and the bouncer read me as male. I asked if the attached pub was busy. He told me no but the club is "packed with fanny" and that's where I want to be. Disgusting prick.

Lyaiera · 27-09-2014 11:52PM

constance tench wrote: »

What's your point? I was commenting on his behaviour. Nothing to do with his fúckability because he happened to be going to a night club.

The response is getting ridiculous. Obviously I've hit a nerve about people's behaviour and the sexualisation of people that goes on.

GarIT · 27-09-2014 11:54PM

Lyaiera wrote: »

What's your point? I was commenting on his behaviour. Nothing to do with his fúckability because he happened to be going to a night club.

The response is getting ridiculous. Obviously I've hit a nerve about people's behaviour and the sexualisation of people that goes on.

Reducing people to their genitals is wrong no matter why you do it.

Lyaiera · 27-09-2014 11:57PM

GarIT wrote: »

Reducing people to their genitals is wrong no matter why you do it.

Except I was talking about his behaviour. Please keep up.

GarIT · 27-09-2014 11:58PM

Lyaiera wrote: »

Except I was talking about his behaviour. Please keep up.

That really doesn't matter. I'm sure you'd be offended if I said "Some girls are right tits".

Neyite · 27-09-2014 11:59PM

I don't think I've ever gone to a nightclub for a fcuk

I've gone because the group I'm out with want to go.
I've gone because I'm really enjoying the night out and I don't want it to end yet.
I've gone because I feel like another drink and the bars are shutting.
I've gone because I love to dance.
I've gone when single to see if I could meet someone nice.

But I've never, ever gone to a club for the reason 'sausagefest'. Thankfully I'm not a slave to my genitalia.

Lyaiera · 28-09-2014 12:05AM

GarIT wrote: »

That really doesn't matter. I'm sure you'd be offended if I said "Some girls are right tits".

If you have a problem with my posts you should report it. Of course you don't have a problem with my posts you're just flailing around for a way to "win" an argument. You found yourself being shown up in this thread, warned by the mods and having posts deleted and instead of talking about the sexist behaviour of the bouncer you're now talking about a minor element of what I said.

I'd be happy to talk about the use of genital synonyms as derogatory terms and insults. Especially about the use of words such as the c-word in relation to women seeing as this is The Ladies Lounge and for discussing things from the perspective of women.

Edit: Also you're wrong. I have no problem with calling someone a tit.

I need feminism because...

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