Be honest. Is "mail order bride" one of your reactions?

27-09-2014 04:14AM #1

For at least the tenth time, I had an Irish cunt last night turn from friendly into a "You're being taken for a ride" or "can you not find an Irish girl?" when I said my girlfriend was Vietnamese.

I was by myself playing pool in the bar after a really tough week at work and I had just given him some advice about travelling and stuff. For about ten minutes, I listened to his "I don't agree with that, go home and find a proper girl" speech and then I just flipped, called him out as a racist wanker and then he tried to start a fight. Thankfully, his older friend got involved and made him leave.

My brother had the same with his eastern European wife. My friends back home said it all about him.

The Irish ambassador to Vietnam (I hope she sees this) on her last night six months ago or a year ago was drunk, came onto me and when I told her "I'm with my girlfriend" who was standing next to me, said "Is she with you for your money?". This woman had been here for three years and that was her opinion.

In Galway a few years ago, one of the lads took home his Japanese girlfriend and everyone had a field day talking about it.

One of my friends came to Hanoi a few months ago and told me about "a terrible rumor that I had married an Asian".

And then there's been all the Irish passing through Hanoi who had to give their backward opinion.

No other nationality has ever said a word.. It's literally always the Irish. And then people wonder why I don't go to Irish bars or visit home.

Collie D · 27-09-2014 04:17AM

There are two U's in rumour

On topic: I get the same about my girlfriend from Mullingar. She does earn more than me though.

Canis Lupus · 27-09-2014 04:21AM

Won't lie to you Marge. Whenever I see an older dude with an SE Asian women I think mailorder/relationship of convenience.

If they're same age though... I think lucky bastard. Living here in Australia and it's very common as the asian population is massive compared to back home so I don't really pay attention to it anymore.

The Backwards Man · 27-09-2014 04:21AM

Maybe it's your circle of friends.

For all the faults of this country, I'd say ignorance is fairly well down the list once you bypass the altar railkissers, the Facebook commentators and the plain racist. In my own village, one fella is married to an Indonesian, a girl is co habiting with a Senegalese girl, and my own brother is married to a Brazilian, and not one eyelid is batted. Ireland is second only to dareisay Britain in terms of tolerance IMO, believe it or not.

dimcoin · 27-09-2014 04:22AM

Collie D wrote:

There are two U's in rumour

That's just a rumor.
People that are dim enough not to conceptualize the thought of choosing a partner outside ones race are not worth the time.

--LOS-- · 27-09-2014 04:50AM

just small-mindedness

My family would be the same, it's very important for them to know where someone is from and if they're from the countryside they're automatically more trustworthy or something, it's weird. Every family meetup will inevitably turn into racial humour, it's pretty uncomfortable to be around, on the inside I'm face-palming them. Better dealt with at a distance I find

GabbyJay · 27-09-2014 05:42AM

Funny thing is that most wealthy Vietnamese are far richer than your average Irish guy. A lot of poverty in the countryside, but when someone is from a rich family there's big money there and they spend $10k on their sofa. That's not to get started on Singapore / Hong Kong / Japan where even there is serious cash flying around even in ordinary families. I think the ignorant Irish guy will eventually cop on to the fact that his souped up Nissan Micra actually isn't so impressive outside of Offaly.

mikemac1 · 27-09-2014 05:43AM

[Deleted User] wrote: »

The Irish ambassador to Vietnam (I hope she sees this) on her last night six months ago or a year ago was drunk, came onto me and when I told her "I'm with my girlfriend" who was standing next to me, said "Is she with you for your money?". This woman had been here for three years and that was her opinion.

A chap named Damien Cole has been Irish Ambassador to Vietnam for over two years now

john the one · 27-09-2014 05:48AM

mikemac1 wrote: »

A chap named Damien Cole has been Irish Ambassador to Vietnam for over two years now

Busted!

pickarooney · 27-09-2014 05:50AM

mikemac1 wrote: »

A chap named Damien Cole has been Irish Ambassador to Vietnam for over two years now

Is 'ladyboy' one of your reactions?

JONJO THE MISER · 27-09-2014 06:03AM

Could you not find yourself a nice Irish girl, them foreign types will have your head turned in no time.

27-09-2014 06:45AM

mikemac1 wrote: »

A chap named Damien Cole has been Irish Ambassador to Vietnam for over two years now

Well maybe it was two years ago or she was involved with the embassys but wasn't the ambassador. I definitely talked to her about my work permit and she was on an embassy stint. If I was gonna bull****, I wouldn't lie about something you can find on Google.

R.D. aka MR.D · 27-09-2014 07:01AM

I'm aware this is AH but i'll give you a serious response.

I live in Asia, have done for 3 years now. I'm female.

Lots of my friends are guys (none are Irish though) and lots of them have for want of a better word 'native' girlfriends. My OH is American and god love him I guess Irish is exotic to him! But he has experienced the opposite. 'Would you not find a local, it's easier, they're less hassle blah blah blah'. He's been looked down on for having a western girlfriend.

A lot of the guys here have the opinion that Asian girls are 'easier'. Now, I've never been to Vietnam so can't comment. It wasn't like this in Korea but here in China there is definitely a set of girls who actively seek out foreigners for their passport if you know what I mean.

So I don't think the situation is as cut and dry as Irish people being racist. There are a lot of opinions on 'mixed' relationships here in Asia. Some guys take advantage of women here and some people are genuinely in love. I've seen both first hand. The people who are saying negative things to you just have their own preconceptions and it's their own lot in life if they aren't able to move past them.

mikemac1 · 27-09-2014 07:16AM

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Well maybe it was two years ago or she was involved with the embassys but wasn't the ambassador..

Did she have a tray of Ferrero Rocher? If she didn't then she wasn't the ambassador

Buona Fortuna · 27-09-2014 07:33AM

I found it hard to vote in the poll.

I think if you were middle-aged and she were early 20s, I'd say Mail Order.

If you were closer in age say 5-10 years, or if she were a heart sugeon or similar I'd say the lucky fecker.

RobAMerc · 27-09-2014 07:53AM

If you were a 50 year old fat bloke and she was a 26 yo hottie whom you couldn't even communicate with I have to be honest I would think "Mail Order" too. But the fact is I think we are one of the most xenophobic / racist countries on the planet.

I am born and bred here but of foreign born parent, I therefore look different and have a non national name.

In close to half century living here, I can honestly say that despite having a good grasp of the Irish language, an unmistakably country Irish accent, playing GAA and enjoying the Irish social scene as much as anyone else, there is rarely a day goes by without it being pointed out to me that I am not Irish and "what would I know ?" about anything based on Irish culture.

I hate to take this off topic but this in my opinion is the crux of your issue too.

kneemos · 27-09-2014 07:56AM

I'd say take the chip off your shoulder,stop looking for things to get offended by and get on with the life.

suicide_circus · 27-09-2014 07:58AM

RobAMerc wrote: »

But the fact is I think we are one of the most xenophobic / racist countries on the planet.

Not even close

crazygeryy · 27-09-2014 08:01AM

That is the worst poll ever.

Timberrrrrrrr · 27-09-2014 08:02AM

suicide_circus wrote: »

Not even close

Definitely top 10.

suicide_circus · 27-09-2014 08:05AM

Timberrrrrrrr wrote: »

Definitely top 10.

That's the spirit

Soft Falling Rain · 27-09-2014 08:08AM

Jesus, your friends sound awfully condescending OP. In fact, there's something awfully insulting about comments such as "would ya not meet a nice Irish girl?" because it suggests that you haven't tried enough, and that women of the same nationality are "harder to get" than a foreign woman.

They're not the kind of people I'd surround myself with op, they sound like a horrible bunch of *****.

27-09-2014 08:10AM

Don't bother with what others think OP.

If you love each other what others think is irrelevant.

MortGoldman · 27-09-2014 08:11AM

I get it constantly, cos I'm an ugly bastard and I've a hot Asian girlfriend (Hong Kong born, but raised in Ireland).

I just put it down to jealousy now, you wouldn't be mail ordering a girl who wasn't attractive!

RobAMerc · 27-09-2014 08:15AM

suicide_circus wrote: »

Not even close

Not exactly a great argument there, I have lived in a few counties in my time and have never been subject to the levels of racism I have in my own.

I think I am qualified to voice my opinion whats yours based on ?

suicide_circus · 27-09-2014 08:20AM

RobAMerc wrote: »

I think I am qualified to voice my opinion whats yours based on ?

Having even the most basic grasp of world affairs and common sense.

Timberrrrrrrr · 27-09-2014 08:21AM

suicide_circus wrote: »

Having even the most basic grasp of world affairs and common sense.

So never been out of Ireland?

Cee-Jay-Cee · 27-09-2014 08:22AM

How can we give an honest opinion when you never told is how you met etc etc? From your OP yeah it sounds like mail order bride as you told us nothing about her, her age, job, or how you met, only what your friends and others said.

Day Lewin · 27-09-2014 08:24AM

OP, forgive me if I mention, you seem to have some horrible friends. And to drink in bars with unpleasant people who are nasty when drunk.
Its always been quite normal to date or marry a person from another country or continent, or who speaks another language. I bet every one of us could mention someone from our class at school who had a parent from another culture. [if not their own parent]
I have literally never heard anyone make the kind of snide remarks you complain of.
(apologies to Rob-A-Merc above)
[I know the conventional-appearing have the luxury of not experiencing racism] - [but still we can try to not be GUILTY of it] !!
- I am local, but my best friend at school was of Dutch parentage...I can think of dozens of couples of differing nationalities and so can everyone, I bet.
Why not just say "Love laughs at borders" and find yourself some new and nicer friends?

suicide_circus · 27-09-2014 08:25AM

Timberrrrrrrr wrote: »

So never been out of Ireland?

Potatoe

hognef · 27-09-2014 08:25AM

My Irish wife is from a significantly poorer country than I. I've never heard any negative comments because of that.

Be honest. Is "mail order bride" one of your reactions?

Girlfriend or wife from a poorer country? 141 votes

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