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How do you meet someone (kiss)

2

Comments

  • #32
    Sinister Kid
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,504 ✭✭✭Sinister Kid


    http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/kisses.gif


  • #33
    Insect Overlord
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 31,263 Mod ✭✭✭✭Insect Overlord


    Serious answer: round and round and spluttering moisture like the spin cycle on a banjaxed washing machine.


  • #34
    Chucken
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,459 ✭✭✭Chucken


    An File wrote: »
    Serious answer: round and round and spluttering moisture like the spin cycle on a banjaxed washing machine.


    Thats just you :p


  • #35
    endacl
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,443 ✭✭✭✭endacl


    Serious answer.

    Why not get one of your mates, somebody more experienced in de wayz of de wimminz, to show you.

    It wouldn't be weird at all. It'd be edumacational.


  • #36
    Insect Overlord
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 31,263 Mod ✭✭✭✭Insect Overlord


    Chucken wrote: »
    Thats just you :p

    Play along! The OP's next thread could be hilarious! :p


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  • #37
    Mark10359
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14 ✭Mark10359


    endacl wrote: »
    Serious answer.

    Why not get one of your mates, somebody more experienced in de wayz of de wimminz, to show you.

    It wouldn't be weird at all. It'd be edumacational.

    And slightly gay


  • #38
    Dr. Mantis Toboggan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,278 ✭✭✭Dr. Mantis Toboggan


    Eight pints before you meet her to 'warm up.' Another seven or eight after that to really get her and you in the mood. Bring her to some late bar with dim lighting, a bit of sh1te talk, drop the hand and aways ya go.

    Fcuking flawless plan.


  • #39
    endacl
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,443 ✭✭✭✭endacl


    An File wrote: »
    Play along! The OP's next thread could be hilarious! :p

    "I was told to drop the hand! Who's hand? Her's or mine? Drop it where? I can't drop it! It's stuck to me wrist! Whatdoidonow?!?!?"

    ...kinda thing?


  • #40
    Mark10359
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14 ✭Mark10359


    Dr. Mantis Toboggan wrote: »
    Eight pints before you meet her to 'warm up.' Another seven or eight after that to really get her and you in the mood. Bring her to some late bar with dim lighting, a bit of sh1te talk, drop the hand and aways ya go.

    Fcuking flawless plan.

    Only 1 problem I'm quite a few years underage


  • #41
    Chucken
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,459 ✭✭✭Chucken


    An File wrote: »
    Play along! The OP's next thread could be hilarious! :p


    Only if it's as Gaeilge.


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  • #42
    Davarus Walrus
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,280 ✭✭✭Davarus Walrus


    Dr. Mantis Toboggan wrote: »
    Eight pints before you meet her to 'warm up.' Another seven or eight after that to really get her and you in the mood. Bring her to some late bar with dim lighting, a bit of sh1te talk, drop the hand and aways ya go.

    Fcuking flawless plan.


    Not only are you a highly-qualified and talented medical doctor, but you must also be a Doctor of Love.


  • #43
    foggy_lad
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,373 ✭✭✭✭foggy_lad


    Mark10359 wrote: »
    What do I do with my tongue ?

    FFS whatever you end up doing with it just don't bite it or hers!


  • #44
    stoneill
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,607 ✭✭✭stoneill


    Give her a haribo tangfastic - everything else will follow.


  • #45
    Insect Overlord
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 31,263 Mod ✭✭✭✭Insect Overlord


    Oh, and one of ye will need to stand on an old copy of the Yellow Pages. Just to make it cute.


  • #46
    Donald73
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 399 ✭✭Donald73


    KingOfFairview wrote: »
    This is the sort of thread its usually my job to start

    These people taking all the jobs. Shame shame. Report him for it lol


  • #47
    Donald73
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 399 ✭✭Donald73


    OP I really would advise going to the Teen forum to ask this. AH is not the best place to learn this stuff.


  • #48
    Dr. Mantis Toboggan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,278 ✭✭✭Dr. Mantis Toboggan


    Mark10359 wrote: »
    Only 1 problem I'm quite a few years underage

    You have to start drinking sometime. Get it into you.


  • #49
    Ken Shamrock
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,192 ✭✭✭Ken Shamrock


    Start jacking it as soon as you see her, then stick your tongue out and start making noises.


  • #50
    Pawn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 440 ✭✭Pawn


    KungPao wrote: »
    This forum is full of all sorts...

    Excuse me???


  • #51
    Beano
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,357 ✭✭✭Beano


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Sometimes one hand on each tit, sometimes feed the pony with one hand. Really depends on the position yous are sitting in when it happens.

    Feed the pony? Jaysus you learn something new every day. Thank god for AH.


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  • #52
    Summer wind
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,285 ✭✭✭Summer wind


    Nice fresh breath is essential so pack the polos and if you can make her laugh you will be well away


  • #53
    Dr. Mantis Toboggan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,278 ✭✭✭Dr. Mantis Toboggan


    Davarus Walrus wrote: »
    Not only are you a highly-qualified and talented medical doctor, but you must also be a Doctor of Love.

    No woman can resist my charms after i have consumed fifteen pints of the finest Smithswicks and a large taco fries.


  • #54
    Aphex
    Closed Accounts Posts: 653 ✭✭✭Aphex


    Look deep into her eyes, raise your right hand up to her face and gently rub her cheek moving back rubbing over her ear and then around the back of the head, stop the right hand at this point. Move your left hand around her back approximately 6 inches above the bum and pull her in. At this point, slowly move your lips towards hers and the rest will come natural.


  • #55
    Dr. Mantis Toboggan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,278 ✭✭✭Dr. Mantis Toboggan


    Aphex wrote: »
    Look deep into her eyes, raise your right hand up to her face and gently rub her cheek moving back rubbing over her ear and then around the back of the head, stop the right hand at this point. Move your left hand around her back approximately 6 inches above the bum and pull her in. At this point, slowly move your lips towards hers and the rest will come natural.

    Keep going, I'm nearly there...


  • #56
    FortuneChip
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,916 ✭✭✭FortuneChip


    Call her by her mother/older sister's name.
    She'll appreciate that you think she resembles women she looks up to.


  • #57
    Colser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,572 ✭✭✭Colser


    Dr. Mantis Toboggan wrote: »
    Keep going, I'm nearly there...

    Oooooh Doctor :D


  • #58
    Aphex
    Closed Accounts Posts: 653 ✭✭✭Aphex


    Dr. Mantis Toboggan wrote: »
    Keep going, I'm nearly there...

    You'll have to buy the book I'm afraid. "50 Shades Of Aphex" You can pick it up in your local Centra :pac:


  • #59
    Davarus Walrus
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,280 ✭✭✭Davarus Walrus


    Aphex wrote: »
    You'll have to buy the book I'm afraid. "50 Shades Of Aphex" You can pick it up in your local Centra :pac:

    Dr. Mantis must be doing a bit of one-handed typing.


  • #60
    XsApollo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 2,688 ✭✭✭XsApollo


    You know what a chicken wire fence is ?

    Well if you wanna know what it feels to rub a boob, find a garden with some chicken wire fence or to be safer go to woodies. (You don't want neighbours wondering what your doing in their garden rubbing their fence with a hard on and a smile on your face)

    Put your hands on either side of the wire and squash the fence between your palms, then move your hands together around in a circular motion.
    It feels like a boob
    We used to call it tit wire when we were younger.
    Good to practice on.


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  • #61
    kryogen
    Closed Accounts Posts: 25,953 ✭✭✭✭kryogen


    Most of the women I "meet" have a no kissing rule, they will let me urinate on them, but not kiss them. Funny world.


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