Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

LynnGrace · 19-09-2014 09:05AM

massdebater wrote: »

This sheeite just showed up on my fb from a girl who just had her first child, along with photos of the baby.

Hello everyone! My name is XXXX XXXX. I arrived into the world on Thursday @ 1.04 am weighing an impressive 8lb 11 oz. Just wanted to say a quick hello on Facebook. I'm doing great...food and accommodation ect have been ok so far...( there's only been 2 options) There are however two very confused people staring at me - one male (hairy/seems nice) one female not so hairy...(looks cool) think they are my parents! Must check with nurses but presume I'll keep them!

Cringe

I'm guessing there were daily updates from the womb...
Every nappy change will be on Facebook, be afraid :pac:

yerwanthere123 · 19-09-2014 04:28PM

Just popped up on my newsfeed, made me laugh!

http://imgur.com/fcYkD3M

krudler · 19-09-2014 04:33PM

What's this carrot thing about?

kunst nugget · 19-09-2014 04:38PM

krudler wrote: »

What's this carrot thing about?

It's handy for pointing out who's a sap on your newsfeed.

Generic Dreadhead · 19-09-2014 04:55PM

yerwanthere123 wrote: »

Just popped up on my newsfeed, made me laugh!

Robbed by me :pac:

Robsweezie · 20-09-2014 03:32AM

payin child support has me broke never have any bob left over fuk sake

Pherekydes · 20-09-2014 03:04PM

Our thoughts and prayers are with Dublin star Jonny Cooper who is recovering after being hospitalised in a viscous knife attack last night. We will not be commenting further or answering questions but will keep you updated on the situation.

Is that a knife for stirring custard?

JohnMearsheimer · 20-09-2014 07:05PM

They must really want wedges!

Status:

Person 1: Waitin oh waitin for some wedges — feeling hungry (plus emoticon).

Comments:

Person 1: They aren't ready yet lol the lady at spar will text when they are ready

Person 2: No way really

Acciaccatura · 21-09-2014 12:24PM

Google explained what the Facebook carrot yoke is all about: http://dailytwocents.com/facebooks-latest-game-rolling-garden-pretending-vegetable/

Un Croissant · 22-09-2014 12:53AM

My gfs mother posted that carrot thing and I immediately said that she'd get some stupid message saying 'ha ha ha you lose'. Two seconds later.......

Thankfully she's not an idiot and didn't repost.

eamonnq · 22-09-2014 11:27AM

Posted yesterday:

"If the chinese in waun dont answer they phone ill stretch they arms wider than theyre eyes im ****in starvig!!!!"

replied to with: "they closed on a sunday .."

TheSheriff · 22-09-2014 11:35AM

A couple i know where out together for a few drinks last night - just the two of them and decided to check in

XXXX enjoying some drinks with YYYY @ insert generic pub name here

(Then in the comments)

- "XXXX" I love you so much baby xxxx

- "YYYY" Love you too baby, cant wait to spend the rest of our lives together xxx

- "XXXX" I know baby, we are going to have an amazing life together, I am so excited for our family and our future xxxx

- "YYYY" Stop now I am going to cry I love you so much xxx

- "XXXX" Awh baby, mwah xxxx

The conversation continued in this general vein for a good nine or ten remarks. I could just imagine them sitting opposite one another in the pub, not talking, just on their phones interacting with one another via facebook

Needless to say I would love to block this but one of them is actually quite a good friend of mine (The other half has been blocked months ago for various episodes of posting absolute crap)

Hoop66 · 22-09-2014 11:59AM

The King of Moo wrote: »

Poor bobas

Outstanding. A pal of mine mocked that up to see how many fkwits would share...

The King of Moo · 22-09-2014 02:55PM

Hoop66 wrote: »

Outstanding. A pal of mine mocked that up to see how many fkwits would share...

A great job he did too, not making the picture too obviously bad, the grammar and spelling not too terrible. It's plausible that someone could really make it, exactly the kind of crap this particular friend of mine shares all the time.

yerwanthere123 · 22-09-2014 11:38PM

I felt like an oldman down oriadas last night. Honest to God it was disheartening To see aload of 16 and 17 yearolds running around the place like a kids disco,no women just little teenage girls for f*ck sake.in future il be taking nights out to my mothers hometurf into cork city, proper nightclubs proper women. disgrace of a town is not the word,my mother always regrets leaving the Northside of the city to come live hear,AND THAT'S SAYING SOMETHING! hate this place.

Proper nightclubs, proper women :pac:

coolhull · 22-09-2014 11:47PM

yerwanthere123 wrote: »

Proper nightclubs, proper women :pac:

As opposed to improper nightclubs and improper women?

eternal · 23-09-2014 12:08AM

yerwanthere123 wrote: »

Proper nightclubs, proper women :pac:

He is obviously down in Macroom. Rural nightclubs and towns are different to the city. I see his point, but there are young girls around the city too.

ElvisChrist6 · 23-09-2014 11:02AM

This always bugs me, but I'm seeing a few people post an article called "Sickening rise of male university students who treat women like meat"... by the Daily Mail. All outraged posts from people who have clearly not seen the irony from the sidebar, these being the highlights (though these are extremely tame by Mail standards):

http://i.gyazo.com/92c2d7eac4b6886506a879a7870df332.png
http://i.gyazo.com/d38322f85853889ba81c95f4806858b4.png

At least try and look like you bothered giving a fuck by getting a less hypocritical source.

ivytwine · 23-09-2014 11:40AM

eternal wrote: »

He is obviously down in Macroom. Rural nightclubs and towns are different to the city. I see his point, but there are young girls around the city too.

He's probably in the Savoy looking for a woman!

yerwanthere123 · 24-09-2014 12:14AM

Oh dear god.

....JPG

krudler · 24-09-2014 12:19AM

yerwanthere123 wrote: »

Oh dear god.

....JPG

Please post this in the replies.please.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovwxBrIBj1w

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 24-09-2014 01:43AM

It's all going down here! Blue has a point, 3 of yellows kids were taken off her

http://tinypic.com/r/2r5ruv6/8
http://tinypic.com/r/24c8bkg/8

eternal · 24-09-2014 01:52AM

ivytwine wrote: »

He's probably in the Savoy looking for a woman!

I don't go to The Savoy so your smiley is lost on me.

ivytwine · 24-09-2014 02:10AM

eternal wrote: »

I don't go to The Savoy so your smiley is lost on me.

It's full of thirteen year olds!

spitfireIRL · 24-09-2014 11:06AM

Got excepted for my Masters.....winning at life!!!

Michael D Not Higgins · 24-09-2014 11:33AM

spitfireIRL wrote: »

Got excepted for my Masters.....winning at life!!!

I wouldn't give them too much stick for that (unless it's an English masters). I know dyslexic people who have an awful time with semi-homophones like that, same with effect/affect, and I (not dyslexic) still have problems with which version of discreet/discrete to use.

yellowlabrador · 28-09-2014 10:44PM

As you may already know, it is a sin for a Muslim male to see any woman other than his wife naked and if he does, he must commit suicide.
So on September 14th, at 10:00 A.M. Eastern Time, all Aussie women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists.

Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort.
All patriotic men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their houses to demonstrate their support for the women and to prove that they are not Muslim terrorist sympathizers.

Since Islam also does not approve of alcohol, a cold 6-pack at your side is further proof of your patriotism.

The Aussie government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity.

P.S.
If you don't share this, you're a terrorist-sympathizing,

in my inbox today. did it happen?

Wilberto · 28-09-2014 10:46PM

yellowlabrador wrote: »

in my inbox today. did it happen?

Epic!

yerwanthere123 · 28-09-2014 11:17PM

yellowlabrador wrote: »

in my inbox today. did it happen?

You just know that there's someone who'll fall for it.

SIX PACK · 28-09-2014 11:51PM

"Board.com"
**** off u illiterate clown unfollow fast