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I Can't Believe I Just Did/Said That ....!

Ditch

We all have these moments. Call them " Blonde ". " Senior ". Not to be confused with accidents. I'm talking about those transient times when eye, hand and brain fleetingly lose all contact.

I eat stew. Every night. I make it in my slow cooker and ladle it onto my glass flan dish. On my tray. Bring it in here and nom nom nom. Every night. Ye'd think I'd have got the hang of it, by now ....?

Other night, I came in here. Sat down and prepared to enjoy. Till, looking down at my lap I thought; " Hang on ..... Where's the fcuking Dish?!? "

What have You managed, AH?

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Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

Stew every night out of a flan dish?

You're a weirdo.

The_Valeyard

Do not feel to bad OP, I was chatting to a lady today who IS convinced that Portugal is a province and part of Spain.

Kovu

Laughed at the cat asleep on the armchair an hour ago.
Came in 20 minutes later while looking at my phone and *plonk* sat on the cat.

Mr_Red

Yes my OH has these issues all the time

[Deleted User]

I was on the phone to someone who was shadowing my citrix session, they asked "which file" and I said "that one" and I pointed to the file. With my finger.

DLMA23

Mmmm...stew

The Backwards Man

I made a raisin scone earlier, forgot to put the bloody raisins in it.

Ficheall

I want some stew

Can we come around for dinner, OP?

Adyx

The Backwards Man wrote: »

I made a raisin scone earlier, forgot to put the bloody raisins in it.

Lucky escape :cool:

padd b1975

Ditch wrote: »

We all have these moments. Call them " Blonde ". " Senior ". Not to be confused with accidents. I'm talking about those transient times when eye, hand and brain fleetingly lose all contact.

I eat stew. Every night. I make it in my slow cooker and ladle it onto my glass flan dish. On my tray. Bring it in here and nom nom nom. Every night. Ye'd think I'd have got the hang of it, by now ....?

Other night, I came in here. Sat down and prepared to enjoy. Till, looking down at my lap I thought; " Hang on ..... Where's the fcuking Dish?!? "

What have You managed, AH?

Where the fcuk is here???

Sterling Archer

I've often been driving home playing music from my phone, and had a mini panic as I think sh*t did I leave my phone at work again

endacl

Forgot to put me trousers on today.

Again.

Nib

Frantically search for my glasses all the time before I realise I'm wearing them.

Ruu

Used glass lens cleaner spray inside of crystal spray deodorant a few weeks ago, nearly always reach for the bottle.

The_Valeyard

You mean like when you accidentally tried to put it in the a** ?

greedygoblin

Once, when having breakfast I poured milk into a glass while simultaneously pouring orange juice into my cereal.

It was not nice.

Ditch

Deleted User wrote: »

I was on the phone to someone who was shadowing my citrix session, they asked "which file" and I said "that one" and I pointed to the file. With my finger.

That actually reminds me of the best blonde joke I've ever come across .....

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde.

The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.

"What does it look like?" she finally asked. The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it." The driver finally found a square
mirror, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman.

"Here it is," she said. The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."

:pac:

J Mysterio

Ditch wrote: »

We all have these moments. Call them " Blonde ". " Senior ". Not to be confused with accidents. I'm talking about those transient times when eye, hand and brain fleetingly lose all contact.

I eat stew. Every night. I make it in my slow cooker and ladle it onto my glass flan dish. On my tray. Bring it in here and nom nom nom. Every night. Ye'd think I'd have got the hang of it, by now ....?

Other night, I came in here. Sat down and prepared to enjoy. Till, looking down at my lap I thought; " Hang on ..... Where's the fcuking Dish?!? "

What have You managed, AH?

How long have you been eating stew every night for?

Irish stew?

I am pie

Leitrim man dies from massive stew overdose.

Nib

Have to ask.

What the fuck is a citrix session?

Birneybau

Nib wrote: »

Have to ask.

What the fuck is a citrix session?

You're too young to know.

[Deleted User]

Ditch wrote: »

That actually reminds me of the best blonde joke I've ever come across .....

Heh, yeh, imagine being blonde.

<.<
>.>

Nib wrote: »

Have to ask.

What the fuck is a citrix session?

Sorry, it's a virtual desktop on your puter. It's a pain in the bleedin' tits.

I, um, work in IT

Mariasofia

Lots of times over the summer I put the dinner in the oven, lay out in the sun and came in an hour later starving to find I hadnt turned the oven on.....
I am blonde though..... :O

Wabbit Ears

A citrix session is like BDSM but instead of rubber whips and chains and stuff you torture yourself with timeouts, laggy connections and sh1t applications that have to be run in citrix because there so cr@p they only run in this ancient virtualised environment.

This morning I said to myself that i should put my laptop bag with both laptops on it by the door so I wouldn't forget them. Realised when I got to work I had forgotten them.

i also had to edit this post because I forgot to actually write my response to the topic.

FloatingVoter

Wabbit Ears wrote: »

A citrix session is like BDSM but instead of rubber whips and chains and stuff you torture yourself with timeouts, laggy connections and sh1t applications that have to be run in citrix because there so cr@p they only run in this ancient virtualised environment.

This is why Nerd Porn failed epically in the test screenings.

bitemeluis

Nib wrote: »

Have to ask.

What the fuck is a citrix session?

A social gathering of Lemon, Limes and Grapefruit

Peregrine

greedygoblin wrote: »

Once, when having breakfast I poured milk into a glass while simultaneously pouring orange juice into my cereal.

It was not nice.

I was making a cup of coffee and getting a bowl of cereal one morning. Ended up putting coffee and sugar into a bowl of milk.

It was actually quite nice though

My name is URL

All I know is that now I want a flan dish full of stew

Fiolina

If I park my car the opposite way to normal outside my house I'll invariably go to get in to the passenger side every time.

Collie D

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I was on the phone to someone who was shadowing my citrix session, they asked "which file" and I said "that one" and I pointed to the file. With my finger.

Haha. I can relate to that. I regularly have to wipe my work monitor clean because I circle things on it with pen while showing things to other people.