German efficiency

MightyMandarin · 11-09-2014 12:18AM

I've seen a lot of examples of efficient Germans and inefficient Germans. Maybe them being efficient or inefficient has nothing to do with their nationality..

hfallada · 11-09-2014 12:19AM

Germans are great at being told rules and procedures. But when something that isnt regularly occurrence, they literally cant function. My friends and I took advantage of this in Germany. You could easily talk your way out of tram fines, paying for other **** etc. If you could come up with a decent enough story, as the Germans would never lie and it would hard for them to realise someone was lying or would even attempt to lie. The amount of places my friends went to while looking for a toilet was unbelievable.

German efficiency isnt that amazing. Its a miracle when a train journey over 2 hours is on time. Plus they maybe efficient, but please or thank you is completely absent from their vocabulary,

Bafucin · 11-09-2014 12:23AM

MightyMandarin wrote: »

I've seen a lot of examples of efficient Germans and inefficient Germans. Maybe them being efficient or inefficient has nothing to do with their nationality..

No they are punctual ...they all walk on the left side of the street. But they are not exhaustively efficient. It's a high quality of life with a lot of job perks. Employers get more bang for their buck here.

J Mysterio · 11-09-2014 12:26AM

hfallada wrote: »

Germans are great at being told rules and procedures. But when something that isnt regularly occurrence, they literally cant function. My friends and I took advantage of this in Germany. You could easily talk your way out of tram fines, paying for other **** etc. If you could come up with a decent enough story, as the Germans would never lie and it would hard for them to realise someone was lying or would even attempt to lie. The amount of places my friends went to while looking for a toilet was unbelievable.

German efficiency isnt that amazing. Its a miracle when a train journey over 2 hours is on time. Plus they maybe efficient, but please or thank you is completely absent from their vocabulary,

Totally wrong on the manners there. Politeness is so important that there is a formal word, 'sie' to show respect to others unless they either 1) entreat you to use the informal 'du' or 2) prove themselves unworthy of the respect.

It's please, thank you and youre welcome all day long.

MightyMandarin · 11-09-2014 12:27AM

Bafucin wrote: »

No they are punctual ...they all walk on the left side of the street. But they are not exhaustively efficient. It's a high quality of life with a lot of job perks. Employers get more bang for their buck here.

I'm damn sure that in a country of 80m there are some right side of the street-walking, lazy, inefficient Germans.

Karl Stein · 11-09-2014 12:28AM

The stereotype that Germans are emotionally cold is absolute trash. They're fierce huggy, warm people in my experience. I like they way they join up perfectly good words to form big words.

Familienzentrum: Family Centre.

Bafucin · 11-09-2014 12:28AM

Germans are great at being told rules and procedures. But when something that isnt regularly occurrence, they literally cant function.

Yes they take ages to come up with systems of doing things and plan for ages then stick with the plan. If you have come up with a proven better way of doing things it will take years for them to plan to change over.

German efficiency isnt that amazing. Its a miracle when a train journey over 2 hours is on time.

Also waiting in a GP's clinic even if you have an appointment can take ages.

Plus they maybe efficient, but please or thank you is completely absent from their vocabulary,

They can be curt verging on rude. I actually found i got a bit like this after a bit without realizing.

Bafucin · 11-09-2014 12:37AM

MightyMandarin wrote: »

I'm damn sure that in a country of 80m there are some right side of the street-walking, lazy, inefficient Germans.

It's actually the right not the left.
Walk down a German path. Seriously ...they all do.

In Germany everyone is taught 'links stehen, rechts gehen' 'Stand on the left move on the right.'

The Diabolical Monocle · 11-09-2014 12:38AM

Karl Stein wrote: »

The stereotype that Germans are emotionally cold is absolute trash. They're fierce huggy, warm people in my experience. I like they way they join up perfectly good words to form big words.

Familienzentrum: Family Centre.

The seem to love the nudiness too. Whats that all about.

Karl Stein · 11-09-2014 12:44AM

The Diabolical Monocle wrote: »

The seem to love the nudiness too. Whats that all about.

We tend to be taught to be ashamed of nakedness whereas the Germans, among others, aren't so much.

SpaceTime · 11-09-2014 12:49AM

I think you need to be careful of stereotypes. The three Germans I know very well are totally inefficient and kinda lazy (in a good way).
They're also late quite a lot and very disorganised.

The most punctual and efficient person I know is Spanish.

Stinicker · 11-09-2014 01:55AM

They always wait for the green light at pedestrian crossings, nobody here does that, we just wait until it's clear and cross over, in Germany they will wait even if the street is deserted.

Jesus Wept · 11-09-2014 02:25AM

Stinicker wrote: »

They always wait for the green light at pedestrian crossings, nobody here does that, we just wait until it's clear and cross over, in Germany they will wait even if the street is deserted.

That's inefficient.

SoulTrader · 11-09-2014 02:33AM

SpaceTime wrote: »

I think you need to be careful of stereotypes. The three Germans I know very well are totally inefficient and kinda lazy (in a good way).
They're also late quite a lot and very disorganised.

The most punctual and efficient person I know is Spanish.

You must live in Bizarro World.

beks101 · 11-09-2014 02:40AM

There's a guy in my company we call 'Andy the German', he's based in the Mainz office and is a tornado of steadfast Germanic efficiency.

Every few months he gets sent to various different company offices around the world to 'inject a dose of innovation' lets say; leaves the place with new spreadsheet systems in place to document progress, new daily meetings established to set the timetable for the day, new routine emails sent out to company-wide email distribution lists informing everybody as to what that particular office got up to that day. Protocols for local employees to follow, recommended 'lunch break hours' in accordance with the work flow as he has witnessed it.

And all of this done under the guise of him being a visiting producer from another bureau, just hanging around to establish contacts and do some inter-office mingling.

Every knows when Andy the German is coming to 'say hello' or 'file his expenses' that sh1t is about to get real.

beks101 · 11-09-2014 02:50AM

Stinicker wrote: »

They always wait for the green light at pedestrian crossings, nobody here does that, we just wait until it's clear and cross over, in Germany they will wait even if the street is deserted.

They do this in Canada too. Jaywalking is a dirty crime, you wait for the green man! I always thought there was something quite 'Germanic' about Canadians actually. They love their rules over there.

Joe Doe · 11-09-2014 03:30AM

The good n' nimble Jap's invented process efficiency back in the 40/50's. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kaizen Still wouldn't buy a overhyped germanic car, so many stories of older audi's with issues, and vw/audi's are generally fairly boring looking cars too, usually come in grey or navy it seems.

The best card-wise option is one of those Tesco value pdf template cards, with title of 'special occasion' and multiple option check box for the event variable value below.
Set to mono and print at work to save on the toner costings.

If you a chap requesting a 'special time occasion event enquiry' to a lady such as wan - kate beckinsdale, scrap that and consider champers in aul pair-ee (Paris).

Franticfrank · 11-09-2014 07:53AM

Efficient? I really don't know how anybody can call the Germans efficient anymore. Look at the new airport project in Berlin - supposed to open in 2010, now expected to open in 2019 and billions over budget. Or the Elbphilarmonie concert house in Hamburg. Delayed as well and originally expected to cost €250 million. Now how much has that gone up to? €789 million at the latest count. Sure, they make good cars, decent hoovers and so on.

But the efficiency thing is really a myth - they're over bureaucratic, chaotic and inept. Except nobody really wants to hear about their failures - the two above are the obvious examples but there are many many more.

jimboblep · 11-09-2014 08:12AM

Joe Doe wrote: »

The good n' nimble Jap's invented process efficiency back in the 40/50's. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kaizen Still wouldn't buy a overhyped germanic car, so many stories of older audi's with issues, and vw/audi's are generally fairly boring looking cars too, usually come in grey or navy it seems.

The best card-wise option is one of those Tesco value pdf template cards, with title of 'special occasion' and multiple option check box for the event variable value below.
Set to mono and print at work to save on the toner costings.

If you a chap requesting a 'special time occasion event enquiry' to a lady such as wan - kate beckinsdale, scrap that and consider champers in aul pair-ee (Paris).

Huh?

anncoates · 11-09-2014 08:18AM

Germany was definitely a better run society than here when I lived there.

Some Irish people tend to find that funny because they pride themselves on being anti-authority and rebellious: that is, constantly wiling to flout the relatively trivial rules/conventions that benefit society at large if it accrues even utterly nominal benefit to them but immediately taking it up the ass until the cows come home about genuinely draconian regulations and/or taxes.

Duck's hoop · 11-09-2014 08:27AM

The Hill Billy wrote: »

However, if something goes tits up it can all fall apart very quickly as I generally found that they weren't great at thinking on their feet.

World War 2 disagrees.

preston johnny · 11-09-2014 08:41AM

The Diabolical Monocle wrote: »

Dunno about that, I was working with a German recently, he seemed to give actual consideration to arrival/leaving times as well as schedule. Madness.

He had a pocket watch, which reminded me of Henning Wehn, Germanys comedy ambassador, but I didn't make a joke of it because we'd had our two jokes already that day.

A German comedian? That's no laughing matter

jester77 · 11-09-2014 08:44AM

Sh1tbag OToole wrote: »

The Germans are a very efficient bunch, you have to hand it to them.

I knew this German lad all me life, lived less than a mile away, we would often see him around and the folks at home were great friends with him. He was the one lad who wouldn't let them down in a crisis if they ever needed anything. Anyway during the tiger himself and the wife sold their house and moved back to Germany

A few years passed and during this time I remember going to see their house in Germany, a grand place but there was feck all land with it and it was in an estate. Had an indoor swimming pool and all.

Couple of years after that a Christmas card arrives in the post from the wife wishing a happy Christmas (as they do) and to say that the lad was after dieing a couple of months earlier. She wouldn't waste a second card on us, thought she would wait a couple of months till Christmas to tell us and send only the one.

Anyone have any similar tales of efficiency that only a German could come up with?

That's nothing to do with efficiency. Germans deal with death in a much different way to the Irish, they don't have any of this theatrical nonsense that goes on with wakes, removals, funerals and some sort of a bash afterwards where the whole village turns out even if they barley know the person. Funerals are something that are attended by close family and telling half the world via radio and newspaper articles is not something they do. How you were informed is pretty normal.

OneArt · 11-09-2014 08:52AM

Efficient, lol.

Doubt many people here have been to the Ruhrpott.

Hammar alter.

DubDani · 11-09-2014 09:12AM

i heart chewy louie wrote: »

That's inefficient.

No, it's the law. The Police will fine Pedestrians for crossing the road while the traffic light is red.

It's similar to the fact that you can loose your Driving License if you are caught driving your bicycle while drunk.

pickarooney · 11-09-2014 09:14AM

HeidiHeidi wrote: »

A lot of Germans are paid 13 times a year. So double in December just in time for Christmas.

Very civilised habit I always thought.

Pah, an efficient people would have the rudimentary budgeting skills required to make their salaries last the year.

topper75 · 11-09-2014 09:59AM

beks101 wrote: »

... something quite 'Germanic' about Canadians actually. They love their rules over there.

Also applies to many U.S. states. German migration to North America was huge but is rarely given the discussion it deserves; I mean, it is Irish emigration multiplied by any number you like. I guess WWI turned things sour and any attempt at hyphenated nationality was abandoned.

I worked for two large German corporations and found efficiency sadly lacking. They were over-bureaucratic and thereby inefficient in many ways. They made money through perceived stability of the products. They could have made a lot more money.

Annasopra · 11-09-2014 10:03AM

Tangatagamadda Chaddabinga Bonga Bungo wrote: »

Hitler managed to Hitler Hitler with the efficiency gas Hitler camps Hitler Hitler Hitler.

Hitler.

wtf?

sbsquarepants · 11-09-2014 10:06AM

The Hill Billy wrote: »

I've worked with quite a few Germans over the years & think that the 'German efficiency' is a bit of a myth. They are great at following orders, rules & processes. As long as they are correctly defined things work well. However, if something goes tits up it can all fall apart very quickly as I generally found that they weren't great at thinking on their feet.

The Swiss - now they are efficient.

Same here. We deal a lot we a few German companies in work and this efficiency is very much over stated. From my experience I've found their quality to be excellent but efficiency? No, not really!
I've also found the same thing with the swiss. Do you work with me? There are a few hill billys about the place here:D

Reedsie · 11-09-2014 10:15AM

Karl Stein wrote: »

I like they way they join up perfectly good words to form big words.

Familienzentrum: Family Centre.

Brustwarze just doesn't do it for me.

Try telling your Irish missus that she has lovely 'breast warts'.

German efficiency

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